Scott's Blog of Doom

There was some customary whining in the UFC / Pride poll thread (which, by the way, is dealing my work on Heavy.com, a non-wrestling website) about how I should go back to reviewing a weekly TV show.  Besides the fact that I don’t get the channel that carries WWE programming in Canada and don’t have any desire to sit through 2-4 hours a week of product I don’t enjoy, let me spell out exactly why this current product fails to excite me so much.  There are no rockets.  I shall explain.

You’ve heard the phrase “tie a rocket to his ass” with regards to pushing a new star, I’m assuming.  If not, it basically means what it sounds like:  You have someone you want to make a top guy, so you attach him to a figurative rocket and launch him.  Sometimes he flies, sometimes he blows up.  If you happen to be a fan of the person getting that rocket push, then you’ll have some pretty significant emotional investment in him and will want to continue watching the product as a result.  For example, back in 1991 Bret Hart had gotten a couple of failed singles pushes but built up a fanbase, and when the Hart Foundation split for good suddenly Vince gave him the rocket push and you, as a fan, could feel that this was the time that he would get a real shot.  Which he did.  Ditto for Shawn Michaels in 1995, as love him or hate him at the time he was shoved further up the card with every show and you can feel the star power growing around him.  My personal favorite was The Rock, as in 1998 it was like watching your favorite underdog sports team suddenly evolve into a contender right before your eyes.  It’s exhilarating as a fan, because you can say “That’s my guy, I was a fan before he was this awesome.” 

Now, nobody gets pushed, much less rocketed.  Sheamus won the title in a silly gimmick match, didn’t get to defend it successfully against anyone of note, and then lost it in a multiple man match without Cena getting his revenge.  People start to get behind Kofi Kingston and WWE turns around and basically gives up on him, and now he’s not even on the Wrestlemania card.  Miz & Morrison are the hottest team in the business since the Hollywood Blonds, but they want both guys as singles wrestlers, so they split up the team at their peak and turn them into midcarders.  Now they’re both in tag teams again, at basically the same level.  CM Punk wins the World title, turns into a great character, and then gets killed dead by Undertaker.  And on and on.  Anyone you get behind as a fan will inevitably let you down because WWE will no longer allow anyone to break out.  They don’t care about Cena’s heel/face crowd problems because they don’t care if people like Cena.  They’re selling the WWE brand, not Cena.  If Cena is insanely over and sells some merch for himself, bonus for him, but he’s got to make sure to mention that WWE Universe (tm) in every pre-written promo and how he wants his legacy (tm) to be part of the WWE Hall of Fame (tm).  They’re no longer concerned with making stars, they’re concerned with making money.  And that’s fine for them, I can totally respect that and I don’t blame Vince one bit for going to the middle of the road.  However, for me, I prefer UFC because if I’m a fan of Brock Lesnar, I know that if he goes out and kicks everyone’s ass in every fight, he’ll make HIMSELF a huge star until someone MAKES him give up the title.  You see the difference?  Brock might let me down eventually, but it’s from his own actions (or his wacky diseases), not because someone decided that he’s won enough lately and it’s time to push Shane Carwin now instead.  That’s what the Rock and Steve Austin felt like in 1998 – two guys going out and TAKING their destiny because they wanted it.  I don’t know what anyone on TV now really cares about, and that’s why I don’t want to watch them on a weekly basis.

Rant over.