Posts Tagged ‘Santa Claus’

The SmarK DVD Rant for Tooth Fairy

Friday, May 7th, 2010

The SmarK DVD Rant for Tooth Fairy (Blu Ray)

Man, the Rock is lucky he's awesome enough to survive these questionable movie choices.

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Michael’s Impact Review

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

MICHAEL'S IMPACT REVIEW #11

MARCH 15, 2010

ORLANDO, FLORIDA - THE IMPACT ZONE

-  OK, so before we get started, I was wondering something.  What is making Raw that much more appealing right now?  I was thinking about this today.  You have a four week gap before Wrestlemania and all they really can do is book the matches right away and then build them up for four weeks.  Now, I am very excited about this time of year, more than any.  With that being said, how many times can I enjoy John Cena vs, The Big Show and Randy Orton vs. Triple H?  I am pretty sure that last year's Wrestlemania Rewind Raw showcased John Cena vs. The Big Show, but I could be wrong,  Now before you go accusing me of saying that WWE's product is worse than TNA and that I am just "trolling"; keep in mind that I am disgusted at the way they build feuds and hype pay per views over in TNA.  But, I do find their product something fresh and there is a chance for new rivalries and it is an alternative.  OK, now I'm done....Let's Cross the Line.

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The SmarK Rant for WWE Royal Rumble 2010

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

The SmarK Rant for WWE Royal Rumble 2010

- Live from Atlanta, GA.

- Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and Matt Striker.

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The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – December 13 1993

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW - December 13 1993

- Live from Poughkeepsie, NY.

- Your hosts are Vince McMahon & James E. Cornette.

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The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – November 29 1993

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW - November 29 1993

- Live from White Plains, NY.

- Your hosts are Vince and Bobby.

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Survivor Series 93

Sunday, October 25th, 2009

The SmarK Retro Rant for WWF Survivor Series 1993

So since I'm at that point with Monday Night RAW now and the original rant badly needs a redo, here you are. Plus my theater isn't showing Bragging Rights (can you blame them?) and I don't feel like spending $50 on the HD PPV, so this is what you get from me today instead.

- Live from Boston, MA.

- Your hosts are Vince and for the last time on a WWF PPV, Bobby Heenan.

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Fred Claus

Monday, December 15th, 2008

The SmarK DVD Rant for Fred Claus

How's this for a high concept Christmas movie: Santa Claus has a ne'er-do-well brother named Fred (played by Vince Vaughn, as Vince Vaughn) and a nebulous "board" is trying to shut down the North Pole for cost-cutting reasons.

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The SmarK 24/7 Rant for WWE Tribute to the Troops 2006

Saturday, December 6th, 2008

The SmarK 24/7 Rant for WWE Tribute to the Troops 2006

Never seen this one before and the matchlist looks interesting, so what the heck.

- Taped from Baghdad, Iraq

- Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler

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Florida

Monday, April 16th, 2007

The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Championship Wrestling From Florida - January 1 1983

- Man, they're really jumping around with these shows, aren't they? A reader messaged me on Facebook of all places to tell me to check this one out, so why not?

- Hosted by Gordon Solie

- So Dusty Rhodes has just lost a loser-leaves-Florida match to Kevin Sullivan, but a mysterious figure rides around a campfire as the show opens. Very mysterious indeed.

- Let us take you back to the cage match between Sullivan and Rhodes, as Kevin pulls out an international object and draws some blood. However, Santa Claus appears at ringside and hands something else to Sullivan, which wins the match for him. Solie compares this to the betrayal of Julius Caesar by Brutus, but it's closer to the betrayal of Hulk Hogan by Brutus Beefcake for my liking. Santa turns out to Jake Roberts, which seems like it's begging to give some kid nightmares if he reaches into Santa's bag.

- Barry Windham v. Randy Barber. Holy cow, Barber actually has some hair here. Being a jobber must be stressful. Windham takes him down and works the arm with an armbar, and stays on that. Windham is looking more like Kendall at this point, before all the drugs and bloating and stuff. Barber comes back with a slam, but misses an elbow, and that pretty much does it for his offense, as Windham forearms him down and drops a knee for two. Lariat finishes at 2:07. Call it 1/2*

- Barry stops by the desk to cut a promo about Dusty Rhodes, talking about his loss as though he's dead. Geez, it's only a 60 day suspension. Solie brings it back to Windham, showing us a clip of Ric Flair looking for some competition against local jobbers and then picking a fight with Windham at the broadcast desk instead. So Windham takes him up on some amateur wrestling and of course dominates. Flair throws chops in frustration, so Windham hits him with a lariat and pins him. This segues to Bill Apter presenting Windham with the Most Improved Wrestler award for 1982.

- Out in the wild, the mysterious Midnight Rider cuts a promo about how he won't get caught. I just wish I could place that voice and figure out his identity!

- Jake Roberts v. Burrhead Jones. For a minute I thought they said "Furhead", which would be just as silly. Jake blitzes him and slams him to set up a flying clothesline, and the kneelift finishes at 0:45 in the pre-DDT days. DUD

- Terry Allen v. Mike Jackson. Allen was little more than a midcarder at this point, although he would gain much greater fame as Magnum TA in the year or so after this. Allen controls with a wristlock and keeps Jackson on the mat, then hiptosses him out of a criss-cross. Jackson actually goes on offense with a headlock takedown and works on that, then hits him with a cheapshot to the kidneys to block Allen's reversal. Allen comes back with a slam for two, but Jackson gets a small package for two. Back to the headlock and Jackson follows up with a dropkick, but Allen catches him on a second attempt and turns it over into a Boston Crab. Jackson reverses to a pinning combo for two, but Allen reverses that for the pin at 3:54. Good little match! **

- Bill Apter returns and presents JJ Dillon with the Manager of the Year award for 1982. Did he threaten to hit him with his shoe until he won the award or something?

- Angelo Mosca v. Raul Matta. Mosca just kills the poor guy, pounding him down and slamming him, then tossing him upside-down into the corner and hammering him with a forearm to finish at 1:11. 1/4* Mosca continues beating the crap out of the jobber with his football helmet, but Ernie Ladd chases him off.

- Ron Bass & Rufus R Jones v. Jerry Grey & The Destroyer. I don't believe that the Destroyer is Remo Williams under a mask, but they should avoid getting into any prolonged martial arts sequences with him just in case. Bass and Jones trade off on the Destroyer's arm, but he manages to escape and brings in Grey. Bass quickly overpowers him and Jones comes in with a less-than-graceful shoulderblock and slams him. Bass works on a facelock, so it's Destroyer time again. He tries a headlock on Bass, but Jones pounds him down and Bass adds an elbow. More power from Jones as he keeps knocking him down and gets the pin at 3:54. Bleh. 1/4*

You got the Midnight Rider, Magnum TA and Jake Roberts as Santa Claus here, what more do you need?

CWF

Friday, January 12th, 2007

 

The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Championship Wrestling From Florida - July 11 / 87


- Are ya KIDDING me? Are they, like, tapping into my mind and only putting stuff on WWE 24/7 that I love or something? GET OUT OF MY HEAD, WWE 24/7!


- Hosted by Mike Graham in the present (who was hired strictly to get this tape collection, I'm assuming) and Gordon Solie in the past.


- This is the Great American Bash episode, which means marquee matchups instead of the usual squashes and video packages. I always loved July on NWA TV.


- Florida title: Mike Rotundo v. The Barbarian. In the neverending debate between "Rotundo" and "Rotunda", this show seems to fall on the "o" side of things. I don't know that we'll ever have a definitive answer, much like the purported existence of Santa Claus or algebra -- there's just no way to know for sure. We're pre-Varsity Club at this point, although that would change soon, once he called up to the big leagues. Barbarian stomps him in the corner, but Mike fights out. They do the test of strength, but Rotundo would rather grab a headlock, which results in him getting shoved off. Another try, and Barbie overpowers him again, so Rotundo takes him down with a flying forearm and sends him to the floor. Ad break and we return with Barbarian on the top, but Rotundo slugs him down for two. He works the arm, but Barbarian powerslams him and it's a double KO until Barbarian gets up first and hits the big boot for two. They head out and Mike meets the railing, but fights back and returns the favor. Back in, Barbarian catches him with a shoulderblock, but gets cocky and Rotundo sneaks in with a small package for the pin. ** Pretty slow paced, not much of a story, but it did the job.


- JJ Dillon stops by the announce table and runs down the upcoming Bash cards (David Allen Coe, live in concert!), including some stupid Dusty Rhodes gimmick match they're trying out called "WarGames" or something.


- Florida tag titles: The Sheepherders v. Mike Graham & Steve Keirn. The Sheepherders are seconded by some goof named "Johnny Ace," who has a mullet long enough to make any redneck proud. I wonder what ever happened to that guy? Keirn quickly fights out of the corner to start and tries a sleeper on both Herders, but it gets broken up each time. Ad break, and we return with the Herders double-teaming Keirn as a pop-up helpfully informs us that he became Skinner in 1992. I appreciate the effort, but the only people who REMEMBER him as Skinner already know who he was. Butch gets two after a double-team. Luke cuts off a tag for two, and we get the false tag bit before heel miscommunication results in the real hot tag to Graham. Rather abbreviated match, I'd say. Graham puts Luke in the figure-four, but a flag to the face breaks it up. I love Gordon Solie, but remembering names is apprarently not his forte, so he just distinguishes the Sheepherders by calling each one "The Sheepherder" or "Keirn covers his man" or whatever. It's a pier-six brawl (and it's Solie, so he's authorized to call it that) until a double-countout ends it. Too short to be worth much. *1/2


- Big Dust promo video, same one as all the NWA TV shows got.


- The Mod Squad v. The Freebirds. It's the Gordy and Roberts version here, not the crappy Hayes & Garvin one from WCW. The Birds work the arm and Gordy gets a bodypress on Spike for two. I think it's Spike, because as noted Solie is no help here and I'm just working off what little of these guys I can remember from 20 years ago. Basher comes in against Roberts, and gets hit with a missile dropkick. Back to Spike, who stomps on Gordy and distracts the ref while Basher chokes him out. Roberts comes in and gets caught with a cheapshot, and Basher chokes him out. Spike gets a backbreaker and drops an elbow for two. Camel clutch, but Buddy powers out, so the Mods keep pounding and choking him until Buddy fights back. Basher grabs a chinlock, but Roberts comes back with a sunset flip for two. Back to the chinlock, and Spike tries to finish with a flying elbow, but it misses. Hot tag Gordy, and he's just had enough and beats the crap out of the Squad until finishing with a powerslam. Basic as it gets, but it was fine for what it was. **1/2


- Ric Flair promo, again the usual one. If you were around in the 80s, you know the one.


- Bunkhouse match: Blackjack Mulligan, Ed "The Bull" Gantner & Bugsy McGraw v. Sir Oliver Humperdink, Dory Funk Jr. & Black Assassin. I would be remiss in not mentioning the brilliantly minimalist gimmick of the Black Assassin, as he is a black man who dresses like an assassin, thus giving me the truly descriptive names that I need to recap without getting confused. Sadly, my favorite info site, Obsessed With Wrestling, doesn't list his identity so I can mock him further. Big brawl to start, and Mulligan is already bleeding, so the faces clean house. Bugsy whips Dory Funk while Ganter dumps the Assassin. Finally they get organized and take their corners, and Bugsy starts the match proper with Assassin. However, McGraw is all KOOKY and stuff, and Assassin has no clue what to do with this guy, so we take a break. Back with Funk pounding on Gantner, but he gets slammed. Ganter gets worked over in the heel corner, and Funk facelocks him on the mat. Assassin comes in with a kneedrop, but Mulligan tags in and he's the house of fire. Humperdink throws the dreaded BABY POWDER OF DEATH in his face and all hope seems lost, but Kevin Sullivan runs in, spikes everyone in the face with that appears to be a utensil or some sort, and puts Mulligan on top of Assassin for the pin. Fun brawl. **1/2


The Pulse: Nothing to complain about here. I'd watch again, and probably will. Bring on World Class next month!