- Ugh, why do I punish myself with this stuff? Unfortunately the original rant is pretty crappy, so let's journey back to the era of Russo & Bischoff. On the bright side, I don't remember any of this shit in the slightest, so much like reruns on NBC, it's new to me! Now where's the alcohol…

- Live from Daytona Beach, FL. And presented by a full nelson!

- Your hosts are Tony, Scott Hudson and Mark Madden.

- Right off the bat I'm fucking annoyed because Tony says "sports entertainment" a million times, which sounds ridiculous on a show that's supposed to be the "alternative" to WWE at the time.

WCW Cruiserweight title: Lt. Loco/Chavo Guerrero v. Juventud Guerrera

Before the show, Ernest Miller banned both factions from ringside upon threat of death, so of course the entire crew of both groups is out there to start. And who's the dude who looks kind of like Rey Mysterio, but without the mask or steroids? They trade chops to start and Chavo gets a pair of atomic drops to put Juvy over the top. Now, I'm assuming the Filthy Animals were supposed to be heels at this point, but the pre-match promos were total babyface stuff and they're certainly way hipper than the jobbers who comprise the Misfits in Action are. Do kids aspire to be like Lash LeRoux? Juvy stalls forever and heads back in, but Chavo blocks a suplex and puts him on the floor with his own, then follows with a pescado. Back in the ring as Juvy oversells everything like a total clown. Clearly he's completely in his element under the Russo regime. Chavo gets a backbreaker for two and goes to an armbar, but Juvy chops out, so Chavo takes him down with a headscissors and a powerslam for two. Juvy comes back with chops, but misses a blind charge and they collide for the double KO. At 5:00 in. Chavo slugs away and puts Juvy on the floor, then follows with a dive from the top. The Filthy Animals (wearing masks in a funny bit) sneak back out to interfere, but the ref tosses them again. Meanwhile, the Juice hits Chavo with a buttdrop from the apron to the floor to take over. Back in, Juvy with a springboard splash for two. They fight to the top and Juvy comes out with a powerbomb for two. An ugly pancake sets up the Juicy Elbow for two, but now MIA does the same mask gimmick and Juvy gets distracted. Chavo tries the tornado DDT, but Juvy counters, and Chavo finally gets an inverted DDT for two. Powerbomb is countered by the Juice, and the Drunk Driver gets two. Chavo comes back with the tornado DDT to retain at 12:09. A fine opener, but all the stupid run-ins weren't needed and nearly ruined it. ***1/2

Meanwhile, Jeff Jarrett complains to Commissioner Cat that Hogan isn't here yet. He literally has a singing fat lady ready. Oh, Russo.

Hardcore title: Big Vito v. Norman Smiley & Ralphus

This is actually a pretty dignified period for Vito compared to what the WWE had in store for him. Vito gets rid of Ralphus right away and goes after Smiley by the stage, and they head into the back for the "brawl". Ralphus recovers and helps Smiley double-team Vito, which gives us the Wiggle. Norman directs Ralphus in his garbage can lid attack as this gets somehow more embarrassing than I pictured, but Vito is shockingly able to fend off the wrath of Ralphus and comes back. Norman tries to call for the elevator and Vito beats up the caterer, as they fight into the elevator and Norman gets left there. I would like to remind everyone that Vince Russo was paid $2.5 MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR to think this bullshit up. Vito drags Ralphus down to the ring and beats on him, and they can't even set up a table properly without it breaking. Vito splashes him through the table and gets the pin to retain at 5:55. $2.5 million dollars! For THIS! -**

Kevin Nash is ANGRY. At Goldberg. But first, before that intensely personal grudge match, a wedding gown match between two managers!

Wedding Gown match: Miss Hancock v. Daffney

The incredibly pretentious video package for this idiocy makes it so much easier to hate. Like, imagine Tony Schiavone quotes superimposed on footage from the feud. Hancock gets a handspring elbow, but Daffney takes her down by the hair. They fight on the ropes until the ref and David Flair pull them apart and this just gets stupider by the second. And then the men lose their pants. Hancock gets sent into David's crotch, and now suddenly they're trying to shave Daffney's head for no adequately explored reason. Oh, and then Crowbar runs in and beats up Flair (also in his underwear, of course) before the match grinds to a further halt so Hancock can strip to end the match at 4:18. The announcers question the legality of Hancock removing her own dress, but it ends the match, so I'm fine with it. Astonishingly, Stacy became a pretty decent worker for her position In the company once she went to WWE. This was like, I dunno, a three-ring circus taking place on the back of a train car, and the train derails and crashes into a giant 20 car pileup on the interstate. -****

WCW World tag title: Shawn Stasiak & Chuck Palumbo v. Kronik

Adams tosses Palumbo and then presses Stasiak onto him, prompting the champs to take a walk and stall. Back in, Stasiak pounds away in the corner on Clarke, but comes off the top and lands in a uranage. Kronik double-teams Stasiak with an elbow and Adams gets a big boot, so Palumbo comes in. And Adams immediately gets a full nelson slam ("Oh no, not the fatty bo-batty!" sez Madden), but the champs double-team on the floor to take over. This is of course horrifying because Adams' hair threatens to come in contact with the remnants of the wedding cake from the last match, and that would just kill the only appeal as a worker he had left by 2000. Luckily, it escapes unscathed, ready to flow and flip like a third man on the team yet again. Back in, Palumbo pounds away and Adams is in trouble, but the hair is well-conditioned and full of life! Chuck with the sleeper and Stasiak comes in with a back elbow for two. Stasiak pounds away on the ropes and Adams actually stops to do a hair flip while selling. He must have learned from Kevin Nash. Stasiak with the sleeper, like a metaphor for this fucking boring match, and they collide for the double KO. Hot tag Clarke, and while he's fresh, his hair is much greasier than usual, and I feel that could put them at a distinct disadvantage. Meltdown is reversed by Palumbo into a shitty DDT, and now Stasiak comes in and dropkicks everyone. I have seriously seen backyard wrestling tapes that were more professionally contested than this shit. At least no one was slipping and falling on their ass (like Clarke does during a charge to the corner) and charging people $30 to watch it on PPV. The champs double-team Clarke while Adams is busy combing his hair, but luckily he makes the save and tosses Palumbo. F5 for Stasiak and they hit their double chokeslam for two, but it turns into a big sloppy brawl again. Palumbo also takes the pot-themed finisher, but Stasiak breaks it up. So they hit him with a Doomsday Device and win the tag titles at 13:38. Kronik was their own special kind of awful, but at least they were over. And had the hair of a World champion. *1/2

Meanwhile, the Jung Dragons attack the Cat in a bit stolen from the Pink Panther movies.

Kanyon v. Booker T

Booker puts him on the floor with a spinkick right away, tragically knocking the blond wig off. Back in, Kanyon slugs away, but Booker hits him with a dropkick and clotheslines him. Back to the floor goes Kanyon and they have a quick brawl out there, then back in for a Booker clothesline for two. Back to the floor and Kanyon sends him into the railing, then puts the stairs on Booker's arm and whacks it with a chair. Back in, Kanyon puts him against the railing and dropkicks him into it, then brings him back in with a superplex. That gets two. Kanyon puts a chair in the corner, but Booker fights back with a powerslam for two. Kanyon catches him coming out of the corner with a powerbomb for two. Inverted Boston crab follows, but Bookre powers out and gets a rollup for two. Kanyon reverses that for two. Booker fires back with a forearm and a spinebuster for two, but Kanyon's in the ropes. Booker goes after him with the chair, but Kanyon hits him with the BOOK OF DOOM for two. Well the brick fell out, see. Booker spins up and sidekicks Kanyon down, which sets up the ax kick and Bookend for two. He goes up, but Jeff Jarrett runs in and guitars him, and the Kanyon Kutter finishes at 10:00. More of a Nitro match than anything. ***

Meanwhile, Mike Awesome hits on the singing fat lady, but has no luck.

US title: Scott Steiner v. Mike Awesome

They immediately brawl into the crowd and Awesome gives him a backbreaker on the floor as Tony talks about "superstars in sports entertainment". KILL ME NOW. Steiner uses a chair to gain the advantage and they head back in, where Steiner drops the elbow for two. Awesome comes back with a boot out of the corner, but Steiner hits him with a belly to belly for two. Backbreaker sets up a suplex, but Awesome reverses and drops him on the top rope instead. Steiner hits the floor and Awesome drops an elbow from the apron, then beats on him with a chair. Clearly the crowd wants to cheer for Steiner here but WCW insisted on booking him as a heel for whatever reason. Awesome slingshots himself in for two. Flying Awesome clothesline gets two. The Cat comes out to watch as Steiner comes back with the overhead suplex, but Cat stops him from doing the Steiner Recliner for some reason. Steiner knocks him off the apron, allowing Awesome to get a powerbomb for two. Awesome flying splash gets two. Steiner fights off a powerbomb attempt and the ref is bumped, but Cat's interference backfires and he superkicks Awesome by mistake. Steiner gets two off that. Belly to belly and the Steiner Recliner finish at 9:07, but Cat strips him of the title for using the banned finisher. Stupid finish, OK match. Booking was really weird, as Steiner wrestled as a babyface and the Cat acted like a total heel and they did heel spots, but they're supposed to be the exact opposite. **1/2

Graveyard match: The Demon (Dale Torborg) v. Vampiro

Yes, they're in a GRAVEYARD. TWO AND A HALF MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR. Vampiro tries to jump out of a tree, but it misses. I can't imagine how that plan would have failed. They slug it out but you can't actually see anything. Not a complaint, just an observation. Demon manages to shove him into an open grave, but Vampiro pulls him in and then goes after Asya. Demon gives chase after EMOTING~! And then they go swimming. Tony's worry is that there might be alligators in the water. If only. Vampiro drowns the Demon and then goes after Asya again, but luckily Charles Robinson fishes him out. Isn't he supposed to be an immortal spawn of Hell? Can they really drown in two feet of water like that? And then, um, Vampiro pops out of a coffin and breaks a plaster tombstone over Demon's head. So naturally Demon goes into the coffin and gets thrown into the open grave, because really what other finish could you have? That's it, it's over. TWO AND A HALF MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR.

Buff Bagwell v. Shane Douglas

Slugfest to start and Buff dropkicks him out, then pounds on the ribs outside. Douglas goes low and drops him on the railing, but Buff backdrops Douglas onto the floor. Back in, Buff with a neckbreaker, but Shane rolls out and stalls again. They slug it out on the floor and Douglas takes Buff into the post crotch-first, then punches a chair back into Bagwell's face. Douglas is so lame that he goes to a chinlock on the floor, then stops by the announce table to say "Now it's time to go home." Gosh, I guess he's shooting then. Back into the ring and Douglas hits a necksnap before going to a neck vice. Torrie Wilson comes out and distracts Douglas, allowing Bagwell to roll him up for two. Buff with a pump splash for two as Torrie stands on the apron and cheers. What idiot can't see this coming down main street? And sure enough, Torrie turns on him and the Pittsburgh Plunge gets two. Buff comes back with a DDT for two. Buff goes up to finish, but Torrie grabs the leg and the Franchiser jawbreaker finishes at 7:50. **

WCW World title: Jeff Jarrett v. Hulk Hogan

OK, so there's this match. Russo had this idea where Jarrett would "shoot" and lay down for Hogan because Hogan had creative control (the character, you see) and Russo wanted to get the title off him. In storyline, you see. So Hogan "wins" the title by pinning Jarrett with his foot, but Russo would cut this nasty promo later on and take the title from Hogan, setting up a rematch down the road to re-unify the titles. But then it got really silly, as Hogan (the real person, such as he is) turned around and sued WCW for slander and didn't actually ever come back again. And then it gets worse, as we get the announcers talking about it afterwards, as they're all "Oh wow, this is SO REAL. They didn't go over this at the production meeting!" Remember, with Russo, everything you see is fake, except for what you're watching right now, which is REAL.

And now, back to stuff that definitely IS part of the script, as Vampiro returns to the ring to officially win his match (in case you were worried about it), but a group of Sting clones brings the coffin out, presumably still with the dead body of Dale Torborg in it. However, it actually turns out to be Sting, which is a huge swerve given that the coffin was carried out by 8 guys dressed like Sting. I mean, who would've suspected, right? TWO AND A HALF MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR.

So as promised, Russo heads out and tells the world his views on Hulk Hogan. Hudson clarifies that it's not Vince Russo The Character, but rather Vince Russo The Boss. Of course, Vince Russo The Boss is a character played on TV by Vince Russo The Person. Anyway, Vince tells the inspiring story of how he came back to WCW to help out the guys who give a shit about the company and Hogan isn't one of those people. Hogan, you see, wants his title back, and Russo doesn't want Jarrett to get beat, but this is actually all storyline because the whole thing was planned. So Russo basically strips Hogan of the title and declares that tonight, Jeff Jarrett faces Booker T in the main event for the title. Nobody in that audience had any clue what the hell Russo was talking about, because everyone who wasn't on the internet (which is still 95% of the audience even today) just thought Hogan was the big star and hero. And really, who was Russo to be out there talking shit after three years in the sport? Tony actually says "shoot" and Hudson SHOWS THE FORMAT SHEET and notes that it's not there anywhere. This show makes me want to blow my brains out to stop the stupidity. Russo was right about one thing: Hogan never did show his face in WCW again, but then went back to WWE and made another zillion dollars because he could still make people think he was the hero. Hogan at least had real accomplishments in the sport, which is more than you can say for Russo.

The Battle for Scott Hall: Goldberg v. Kevin Nash

This was right after Goldberg's disastrous heel turn that basically destroyed his WCW career for good. Nash chokes away in the corner, but Goldberg pushes him down and follows with a suplex for two. They slug it out and Goldberg hits the Bretkiller kick, but Nash chokeslams him for two. And now Scott Steiner joins us, acting like a babyface despite being a heel earlier, which is a sure sign that he's turning on Nash because it's a BIG SWERVE. Goldberg charges and runs into a boot and Nash gets the sideslam for two. Goldberg recovers and tries the spear, but hits the turnbuckle as they're rushing through this like crazy to fit the show into PPV time. Nash sets up to finish, but SWERVEY SWERVE SWERVE and Scott Steiner turns on him. Spear, jackhammer, and Scott Hall's career is DONE at 5:24. How can I live without the Outsiders? *

WCW World title: Jeff Jarrett v. Booker T

Booker takes him down with a headscissors and they do a wrestling sequence, as Booker grabs a headlock. Jarrett slugs out and pounds Booker in the corner, but Booker comes back with a sidekick and they brawl to the floor. Booker whips him into the wall and they head back to ringside, where Jarrett hits him with a chair and they head over to the announce table. Jarrett piledrives him on the table (which doesn't break, prompting a quick joke from Tony about how they finally got the construction right on them) and back in we go. Jarrett with the sleeper, but Booker reverses a figure-four attempt into a small package for two. Another figure-four succeeds, but Booker makes the ropes. Jarrett works the leg, but Booker makes the comeback with the ax kick. Spinarooni and spinebuster get two. Booker tries a sidekick and crotches himself on the top rope, allowing Jarrett to pound him in the corner. Ref is bumped and Jarrett grabs the belt, but Booker gets it and nails Jarrett for two. Jarrett wedges a chair into the corner, but Booker sends him into it for two. Jarrett gets frustrated and takes out the ref, then grabs his guitar and goes up, but the Bookend finishes at 13:41, giving Booker his first World title. They tried to make it "main eventy" but I don't think either guy was really "ready" at that point and the timing was kind of off. Sometimes you've just gotta pull the trigger and see what happens, though. ***

The Pulse:

Although New Blood Rising was more purely self-indulgent on Russo's part, this had the all-time champion Russo "aren't I so important to the world of wrestling" moment in the form of his rant against Hogan, so it's a tossup as to which is more obnoxious in the grand scheme of things. I don't side with Hogan in many things, but this was one case where they went about things completely the wrong way. It's a hot crowd and should have been an easy, thumbs up fun show, but never let it be said that this company couldn't figure out how to screw up pretty much anything. Strong recommendation to avoid.

I have been waiting anxiously for this one for a while now.

Disc One

- Hosted by Mean Gene

- So let us take you back to the Rock N Wrestling era in 1985, as SNME replaces SNL reruns once every few weeks…

WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. Cowboy Bob Orton

Hogan and Mr. T rip each others' shirts off to start. And people thought Piper and Orton were gay? Orton tries the sneak attack, but Hogan chases him out of the ring and then back in for a backdrop. Three bodyslams and Orton takes a powder and finally gets his chaps off. Back in, Orton misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Hogan to work on the broken arm. He's got a CAST. Clearly it's broken! What kind of sportsmanship is that? Orton comes back with a high knee that looked like it was supposed to be a dropkick, and he drops a fist to take over. Atomic drop gets two. Orton punches Hogan to his knees, but it's time for the comeback. Clothesline and elbowdrop get two for Hulk, and he pounds away in the corner until Orton takes him down with an atomic drop. He sets up for the superplex, but Hogan elbows him down and drops the leg, bringing Piper in for the DQ at 7:24. Given 15 minutes at a house show this would have been pretty good, actually. **1/4 Clearly they were still mastering the visual and audio feel of the show, as the lights are dimmer and the crowd isn't as overly jacked as they would make it seem later on.

- Uncle Elmer's wedding begins a great tradition of nuptials on wrestling shows turning into a three-ring circus.

Paul Orndorff v. Rowdy Roddy Piper

One of the greatest feuds that never got settled or even had a finish. Piper slugs Orndorff down and gives him an Orton punt, but Paul fires back and bites him on the mat. They rip and tear at each other on the mat and Piper gets a DDT out of it and boots him out of the ring. They brawl to the floor and Piper hits him with a chair, but Orndorff sends him into the table and they head back in. Orndorff comes off the top with a big elbow and adds a backdrop suplex, but Piper pokes him in the eyes and puts him down with a kneelift. They collide and knock each other out, but Orndorff recovers in time to block a splash. They fight up and out of the ring, and it's a double countout at 4:00, brawling all the way to the back. And we continue from there with Piper hiding in the dressing room and locking the door. Should have been a hardcore match on PPV to blow it off. **

- "Jungle" Gene tours the zoo with George Steele.

- Halloween with the WWF. Roddy Piper's trick-or-treating tips is worth the price of admission, although edited down to only a clip.

WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. Terry Funk

From SNME #4. Hulk gets a corner clothesline to put Funk on the floor, and then back in for another one and another bump by Funk. Back in, they do a funny criss-cross with Hulk stepping on Funk's back, and now Terry's getting frustrated. I always hate to see a scientifically minded wrestler having to deal with a cheater like Hogan. So back in again and Funk throws chops in the corner, but Hulk punches him and Funk bumps to the apron this time. Back in, Hogan gets the backdrop suplex for two, but Funk goes low and stomps away. To the top, but Hulk brings him down on his crotch and adds an atomic drop and an elbowdrop. Hulk tries a headlock, but Jimmy Hart trips him up and then hides under the ring. This gives Funk the chance to choke Hulk out with his wrist tape, and a piledriver gets two. However, it's time for the Hulk Up, and the big boot puts Funk on the apron. Hulk suplexes him back in, but Hart hooks the leg and Funk gets two. JYD takes out Jimmy, and Hulk pins Funk after a lariat at 8:14. Funk tosses chairs at Hogan and Jesse calls it "Texas sportsmanship". Good bumps from Funk and lots of chemistry between these two. ***

Boxing match: Cowboy Bob Orton v. Mr. T

This of course was a precursor to Wrestlemania 2. Orton attacks before the bell and they trade some weak stuff before Orton thumbs him in the eye and then hits him with a cheapshot over the ref's head to end the round. Round two sees Orton getting all cocky, but T knocks him out of the ring for the countout at 5:00. Stupid but harmless.

Snake Pit Match: Jake Roberts v. Ricky Steamboat

Ricky is on the arm to start and a backdrop gets two. Faceplant gets two and Jake makes a run for it, but runs right back into the armbar. Jake breaks out, but misses a charge and Steamboat follows with a catapult into the corner. Flying splash hits knee, however. They both crawl for their animals, but Jake recovers first and dives in with a gutbuster for two. Short-arm clothesline gets two. Jake chokes him out on the mat and hits him with a kneelift, as Steamboat staggers around the ring just selling the hell out of it. Jake with an atomic drop, but Steamboat catches him with a crucifix for the surprise pin at 6:23. Jake doesn't take it well and beats on Steamboat before pulling out the snake, but luckily Steamboat is armed with a Komodo dragon for just such an emergency. **1/2

Intercontinental title: Randy Savage v. Jake Roberts

They actually use the promos for the 1992 match to set this up. This was an unheard-of heel v. heel match. They both try the sneak attack, which is hilarious, and then both of them pull the hair on an armbar. Savage gets all freaked out by the snake, or maybe the drugs, who knows, allowing Jake to takes him down with a headlock and more hair-pulling. Jake goes for the DDT and Savage slips out to the floor. Back in, and he walks into a boot, but another DDT attempt is blocked and Savage blocks a blind charge with a knee to the head. That gets two. He stomps away for two and drops the knee for two, as Jesse glories in the "good, down-home cheating". Savage elbows him down and gets two. Choking on the ropes gets two. He works the cover, but Jake slugs back, so Savage ties him in the ropes and then shoves the snake under the ring. He stops to gloat, however, and Jake catches him with a kneelift on the apron and retrieves the snake again. They trade armbars and Jake gets the short-arm clothesline for two off that and the crowd is clearly on his side. He actually pulls out a gourdbuster and gets two, then slugs Savage down. Another DDT is blocked and Macho heads to the floor to escape, and hides behind Elizabeth. That gives him time to run Roberts into the post, and he follows with the double axehandle to the floor, and back in we go. Another flying axehandle gets two. He goes up again and Jake catches him on the way down and makes the comeback, completely playing babyface now. They brawl to the floor and the ref gets wiped out for the double DQ at 9:20. A lost classic, to be sure. ***1/2

Steel cage match, WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. Paul Orndorff

Well this had to be there. Orndorff miraculously gains elbowpads in between his pre-match promo and walking out for the match seconds later. Heenan has apparently purchased "championship belt insurance" for the inevitable victory, leading me to wonder what retard insurance agent sold him THAT policy. I mean, even in the kayfabe world I don't think it's disputed that the belt belongs to the WWF and not the holder. Orndorff goes with the sneak attack and makes a quick climb for it, but Hogan grabs the hair, leading to one of the all-time classic Jesse-isms: Hogan would not be the champion if Mr. Wonderful was bald. Hulk drags him back in and chokes away with the headband, then makes a run for it himself. Orndorff pulls him back in and knees him down, but Hulk clings to the foot to keep him from leaving. Hulk pops up and slugs away, but Heenan locks the door and Hulk can't leave. Orndorff headbutts him down and stomps him. He tries to run Hogan into the cage, but both guys hit it and they're both out. And then the famous finish, as both guys climb out and drop down simultaneously, so we have a restart. Really, the later Batista-Undertaker riff on this one had it right, in that it's the challenger's onus to beat the champion, so it should have been a Hogan victory. And you won't hear that often from me. So we take a break and they brawl around the floor before Orndorff sends him back in and drops an elbow from the top. He chokes away and Jesse is TIRED of Vince's biased announcing. Hulk Up and Orndorff goes into the cage a few times, setting up a legdrop and exit for Hogan at 13:02. And a beating for poor Bobby Heenan, of course. The replays (and benefits of DVD freeze-framing 20 years later) clearly show Hogan's feet hitting the floor first, too. ***1/4

Battle Royale

This is the go home show for Wrestlemania III and according to Gene scored the highest rating ever for a show in that timeslot with an 11 rating. The hook here is that both Hulk and Andre are participating. You've also got Demolition (with Barry Darsow's hair still slowly coming in), Ron Bass, Volkoff, the Islanders, Honky Tonk Man, Paul Orndorff, the Killer Bees, Koko B Ware, Sika, Butch Reed, Billy Jack, Hillbilly, Lanny Poffo and Blackjack Mulligan. Honky goes up and out less than a minute in via Hogan, and then Andre tosses Sika. He continues smartly going after big guys, ramming Hillbilly and Mulligan's heads together and then tossing Haku. A headbutt draws blood on Poffo and then he goes out as well. Andre's pretty bad-ass tonight. Poffo's blade is gory stuff for network TV, as he bleeds all over the floor and gets taken out on a stretcher. Hogan fights off the heels and dumps Bass, so Andre responds by putting Mulligan out. Hulk backdrops Volkoff out, so Andre headbutts the shit out of Brian Blair and gets rid of him. He deserved it for the tennis shoes. The Heenan Family works Hulk over in the corner, but he breaks free and we get the showdown with Andre. Sadly the heels cut him off and beat Hogan down, so Hulk tosses Orndorff out. This allows Andre to headbutt Hogan from behind and get rid of him. That was pretty shocking stuff for the time. Andre throws Brunzell out in irritated fashion, but everyone stops and gangs up on Andre and gets rid of him, another thing you just didn't ever see. Ax, Tama and Hillbilly Jim all go in rapid succession. Koko dropkicks Reed out, leaving us with Hercules & Smash on the heel side and Billy Jack & Koko for the faces. Hercules keeps trying to get Koko out and Haynes keeps saving him, but Herc eventually gets the job done, leaving Billy against Herc and Smash. Billy dodges Hercules and puts Smash out, but gets distracted by Bobby and that allows Herc to dump him for the win at 11:11. Silly as it sounds, this was probably Herc's peak in the sport.

WWF World tag titles: The Hart Foundation v. The British Bulldogs

This is 2/3 falls and I've been waiting forever for this to get put on DVD. Davey works Bret's arm to start, but Bret goes to a headlock. Davey monkey-flips out of it and gets a crucifix for two, but he runs into Bret's knee. Over to Anvil and we get some cheating in the corner. Bret with a backbreaker for two and he drops the leg, but a blind charge hits knee and it's over to Dynamite. Bret takes his corner bump and Kid brings him out by the hair, then a short clothesline gets two. Snap suplex gets two. Anvil comes in and tosses Davey, and they double-team until the ref calls for the DQ at 4:35. This becomes important later.

Second fall and the Harts are beating on Kid in the corner. Demolition elbow gets two. The Harts cut the ring in half and Anvil chokes Kid down while Danny Davis makes a nuisance of himself and distracts Davey. Bret ties the Kid up in the ropes and misses a charge, and it's hot tag Davey Boy. Clothesline on Anvil gets two. Delayed suplex gets two. Anvil catches him with his head down and the Harts double-team in the corner, but Anvil hits Bret by mistake, Tito gets rid of Davis, and Smith presses Kid into Anvil for the pin at 9:33. The arena goes batshit insane, but Jesse points out that you can't win the titles on a disqualification. However, two years later precedent would change and establish that you can indeed win them that way. So the Bulldogs kind of got screwed here. Classic Bulldogs-Harts stuff here, compressed a bit for TV time. ***

Intercontinental title: Honky Tonk Man v. Randy Savage

Conventional wisdom had Savage mopping the ring with Honky and winning the title in 30 seconds. Honky gets the sneak attack, but Savage dodges him and snaps the neck on the top rope before choking him out. Elbow out of the corner and he goes after Jimmy Hart, which allows Honky to clobber him from behind and take over. Honky drops a knee on the back and goes up with the fistdrop, but stops to go hit on Liz. Savage pounds him outside and drops the axehandle to the floor, then runs him into the corner and rolls him up for two. Backdrop suplex gets two, but Jimmy pulls him off. Back up, but Hart grabs the leg, so Savage boots him down and gets another axehandle for two. And Hart pulls him off AGAIN, prompting Savage to kick his ass. Honky tries a sunset flip but gets nailed by Savage, and the Hart Foundation head out to tend to their manager. They all bring Jimmy back to the dressing room and we take a break, and return with Savage whomping on Honky again. Savage fires away with elbows in the corner, but misses a blind charge and Honky takes over again with a backdrop. He goes up with the fistdrop, but misses and Savage makes the comeback. He chokes Honky down in the corner and elbows him for two. Suplex gets two. Honky tosses him to allow the Harts their shots while he distracts the ref. Back in, he goes for Shake Rattle and Roll, but Savage backdrops out of it and drops the big elbow. The Harts run in for the DQ at 12:11, however, and the beating commences. *** However, the real big money angle follows, as Honky wants to hit Savage with the guitar, but Liz gets in his way and begs for mercy. Honky, a true renaissance man, shoves her down and HOLY COW was this huge for 1987. Like, no one had ever laid a finger on her up until then, and even the threat of it sent Savage into a psychotic rage, so this was a major turning point for the character. So Savage takes the guitar to the head, but Liz returns with Hulk Hogan, giving birth to the MegaPowers and putting several million dollars in Vince's pocket.

- From the same show, Koko B. Ware's "Piledriver" video, with the babyfaces (and Vince) as creepy construction workers.

Randy Savage v. Bret Hart

Well you gotta have this one, too. What an awesome DVD. Vince basically told Bret beforehand to go out and show him that he could work the leg. Savage attacks and runs Bret into the post, but charges and hits the corner himself. Bret stomps him down in the corner, but Savage catches him with his head down and then sends him off the apron, giving us one of the first railing bumps of Bret's singles career. Savage gets rid of Neidhart and Jimmy, but he jumps at Bret and gets hit with the megaphone on the way down. Back in, Hart drops the leg and hangs Savage in the Tree of Woe, then follows with a piledriver for two. A charge misses and Savage runs him into the post and then follows with a flying axehandle for two. Bret comes back with a backbreaker and drops the elbow from the middle rope, but that one misses. Savage necksnaps him for two, but charges and gets backdropped to the floor, injuring his ankle in the process. Liz takes his boot off to examine the injury, and we take a break. Back with Savage now wrestling in one boot and doing a valiant job of selling that injury. Bret goes right for it, ramming it into the post and then going with a spinning toehold. Savage fights back with a necksnap for two, but Bret goes right back to the leg and puts him in a half-crab. Savage makes the ropes, so Bret hauls him back in and pounds on the ankle, forcing Savage to rake the face. Bret slams him, but Savage rolls him up for the pin at 11:54. This is memorable for good reason, basically laying out the template for later main event matches to come in the 90s. ****

Special Features:

George Steele, Nikolai Volkoff & Iron Sheik v. Barry Windham, Mike Rotundo & Ricky Steamboat.

This is of course the first ever match on Saturday Night's Main Event. Windham headlocks Sheik to start and follows with a hiptoss, and the faces work the arm in the corner. Rotundo drops an elbow for two, but Steamboat walks into the abdominal stretch, although he's able to hiptoss out quickly. The faces clear the ring and we take a break. Back with Steamboat hitting a missile dropkick on the Sheik, and the flying bodypress gets two. Over to Volkoff and the US Express hits him with a double dropkick for two. Rotundo drops a leg for two. Rollup gets two. Backslide gets two. Sunset flip is too close to the ropes. Over to Windham and he gets another sunset flip that is in the ropes, and finally Animal comes in. Windham slugs away on him and the other heels decide to cut their losses and leave, allowing Windham to roll up Steele for the pin at 6:32. Sheik and Volkoff turn on him and attack, but Steele fights them off and aligns himself with Lou Albano for the face turn. This was fine. **

- And hey, just to turn the Cheesy 80s Meter up to 11, here's "Real American", the music video. My favorite is Hulk disgustedly tossing down the picture of Quadafi, back when anyone gave a shit about Libya.

- And JYD dances with his mother to close out the first show.

Disc Two

WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. King Kong Bundy

BUNDYMANIA. Bundy charges and misses to start, allowing Hogan to run him into the turnbuckles and put him on the floor with the big boot. Back in, Hulk throws elbows and a clothesline to put him out again. Back in, Hogan wins a slugfest and starts working on the arm, but Bundy takes him down using BIG FAT CHAIN WRESTLING. Vince accuses him of using the hair. What hair? Hulk powers up and tries to knock Bundy down, but runs into an elbow and Bundy goes back to the arm again. Hulk fights out of it and slams Bundy, but misses an elbowdrop. Bundy also slams him and misses an elbowdrop, and now Hogan makes the comeback. Corner clothesline, but Bundy reverses him into the corner and hits the Avalanche. The ref is bumped in the process and Hulk makes the comeback, putting Bundy on the floor. They call for medical assistance for the ref and we take a break. Back with a fresh ref and Bundy attacks in the corner, then hits a clothesline. Kneedrop gets two. Bundy chops Hulk to the floor and chokes away on the apron before going to a chinlock. Andre yells "Ring the bell!" at Hebner, but this is Dave and we're not in Montreal, so it doesn't work. Bundy hits a pair of Avalanches and a big splash, but Hogan is up at two and it's time for the comeback. Legdrop finishes at 12:08. Jesse argues that Bundy's foot was touching Hulk's so it should be a legal pin, but you have to actually pin the other guy's shoulders to the mat, hence the name. In case that was keeping you up at night. Which means, for those truly anal types, that someone blacking out in the figure-four and getting pinned is not actually legal, unless the interpretation is that the ref is counting the person as unable to continue and just counting three as a way to determine that. ** Andre beats the holy hell out of Hulk after his win until a legion of babyfaces run out and pull him off, all of which leads up to…

WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. Andre the Giant

From The Main Event, on live network primetime TV. This did ungodly numbers and blows away all other ratings for wrestling matches. It also has one of the most famous finishes in history. As a match, not so good. Another first here as it marks the debut of the classic winged eagle WWF title belt, although Hulk's pre-match interview sees him wearing the older design. Pretty big production gaffe there. Amazingly, that belt design would last for 10 years, second only to the Big Gold Belt (23 years and counting!) and the current I-C title (11 years and sorely in need of a redo). Hulk cleans house on Dibiase and Virgil to start and then slugs away on Andre, but can't knock him down. Hulk tries a corner clothesline, but still can't punch him down, even after spinning his arm around like Popeye! That would KILL a normal man! He finally tries to go up, but Andre slams him off and then misses a headbutt. Andre chokes him out and stomps him, then puts him down with the headbutts. Big boot puts Hulk on the floor, and Virgil sends him back in for some more choking. Hogan fights up and slugs away in the corner, then gets a flying clothesline and drops the leg. The ref is busy with Virgil, and Andre headbutts Hogan from behind and suplexes him for the pin and the title at 9:04, despite Hogan's shoulder being up at one. Pff, technicalities. So Andre immediately surrenders the title to Ted Dibiase as Hogan cries like a little bitch instead of manning up and doing something about it. I really wish 24/7 would show one of the house shows with Dibiase "defending" the title against Bam Bam Bigelow, for historical reasons if nothing else. I don't know if any of them were taped for TV, though. Anyway, the really shocking thing here is that this isn't even the worst refereeing job Earl Hebner would do in his career. Much better than their Wrestlemania match. That's not saying much. **

Randy Savage v. Ted Dibiase

This was two weeks before Wrestlemania IV, making it kind of weird that they'd give away the main event on free TV beforehand. Dibiase attacks in the corner and elbows him down, then goes up and hits an elbow before choking him out. Savage comes back with an elbow out of the corner and puts him on the floor with a high knee before sending him back in for the flying axehandle. Dibiase tries for mercy, but Savage clotheslines him for two and then follows with a necksnap as Dibiase does his usual great bumping. Dibiase bails and Savage invites him right back in. Dibiase chops him down and drops the fist, but runs into a knee in the corner and Savage drops his own elbow for two. Kneedrop misses and Dibiase goes right after it with a spinning toehold, but Savage kicks him out of the ring to escape. Dibiase yanks him out and they brawl on the floor, allowing Virgil to dive in for the cheapshot. Nice. That earns him a trip back to the dressing room. RACISM! We take a break and return with Dibiase getting a flying axehandle before dropping an elbow for two. And we hit the chinlock. Savage fights out and backdrops him, but the ref is bumped and Savage tosses Dibiase out. He follows with the axehandle to the floor, but Andre lays him out and Liz runs away for you know who. Savage gets counted out at 11:36, although Dibiase probably should have gone over by pin to really set up the WM main better. Hulk chases off the heels with a chair, as I'm thinking they should have some sort of tag team match with these four. Perhaps on PPV. They might call it Summerslam. ***1/2

- Another high point for the sport, as Jake Roberts induces a heart attack in Andre by using his snake.

Hulk Hogan v. Harley Race

From the same show as the Savage-Dibiase match. Race attacks, but even his headbutts have no effect. Hulk clotheslines him out of the ring and onto a table at ringside, and Hogan runs him into the post to follow. Hulk goes after Heenan and Race tries to piledrive him on the floor as a result, but Hogan backdrops out and hits an atomic drop. Back to the post for Race and Hogan slams him on the floor and then chops away in the ring. Hogan chokes him out with the wrist tape and follows with a tape-assisted clothesline. Vince is all "the ends justify the means, Jesse". Who knew Hulk would be teaching all his little Hulkamaniacs to be so Machiavellian? Although after Montreal it was no surprise that Vince would take that road. Race finally comes back and gets a piledriver, then tosses Hogan for a taste of his own medicine, putting him on the table and trying a diving headbutt. That misses and the table kinda breaks, but at the cost of giving Race an abdominal injury that would later end his career. Back in, Race comes off the top with a diving headbutt, but it only gets two and you know the rest at 6:58. This was quite the brawl and set up a really good house show series between them. ***

WWF World title: Randy Savage v. Andre the Giant

Skipping ahead to the end of 1988 now, with Savage getting more heelish and paranoid. Savage tries attacking and that goes badly for him, as Andre chops him down and pounds him in the corner. Andre holds him in a front facelock and chokes away with the strap. Savage tries a slam like an idiot and Andre just holds him at arm's length and then headbutts him down before choking him out again. Savage gets a kind-of jawbreaker and makes the comeback, but Andre chokes him down in the corner again. Savage gets the axehandle and tries choking Andre down, as Jake Roberts (in a classy leather ensemble) joins us at ringside. So we take a break and return with Andre pounding Savage down while Bobby freaks out at ringside looking for Damian. Bobby finally finds it and comes into the ring for the DQ at 8:38. This was all just a setup for the Andre-Roberts feud, although the crowd heat was off the charts. *1/2

- Hacksaw reminisces about flying the flag on SNME.

Intercontinental title: Ultimate Warrior v. Honky Tonk Man

Welcome to the Warrior era. Warrior beats on Honky right away and presses him into the ring as Vince spews nonsense about Honky potentially being the first person to regain the I-C title. There's forgetting history, but Tito Santana regained the belt less than four years before this! Warrior pounds away in the corner and follows with a shoulderblock, but misses a blind charge and Honky hits him with the megaphone to take over. That's how out of Warrior's league Honky was -- he couldn't even get a heat segment without hitting him four times with the megaphone. Honky chokes away on the ropes, but the canned heat machine rallies Warrior back to his feet before he misses an elbow. The dubbed crowd reactions are really obvious here. Warrior clotheslines him down and tries to finish with a splash, but hits knee. Like seriously, the dubbing is so heavy that you can't even hear the ring mic, it's ridiculous. Warrior finishes with a shoulderblock at 5:05. * Not sure why this was included, unless they were just like "I guess we've gotta put a Warrior match on there".

- A video package highlights the haircut match between Ron Bass & Brutus Beefcake.

The Megapowers v. The Twin Towers

From the second Main Event. Hogan starts with Bossman after 2 minutes of drama on the subject of who will start, and he slugs away and puts him on the floor with an atomic drop. Back in, Bossman fires away, but Hogan rams him into the turnbuckles and he runs away again. Savage adds a shot from behind, and gosh the Megapowers are sure working well together tonight. So over to Akeem and the faces pinball him in the corner and then do some double-teaming to show how together they are. Bossman catches Hulk with a clothesline, however, and follows with a piledriver. Akeem pounds the back and Bossman follows with a spinebuster, but Hogan fights up and finally tags Savage in after 8 minutes. Macho hits Akeem with a flying bodypress for two, but Slick nails him with the nightstick and the Towers take over again. Double-team elbow puts Savage down and Akeem tosses him, but Elizabeth helps him back in again. So Akeem chucks him right out again, and this time he wipes out Liz and the crowd is SHOCKED. I mean, you could see jaws drop in the front row at that bump. Hogan immediately ignores his partner and goes to help his secret lover, and the Towers proceed to double-teaming Savage while Hogan carries Liz back to the dressing room like Superman carrying Supergirl on the cover of Crisis #7.

So back to the dressing room we go as Hogan shows the acting skills that prove why he was apparently offered the lead role in The Wrestler (although he certainly wouldn't be offered the lead role in The Actor based off his performance). So we take a break to keep the drama from getting too heavy, and return with Savage getting pounded, but we cut back to the Hogan-Liz drama. Sadly they omit Hogan calling for the "tiz-ime" count on live TV, but that's an understandable edit. Liz revives and Hogan rushes out to save the day (as the Towers are apparently so useless that they couldn't even beat Randy Savage despite having a 2-on-1 advantage for 5 minutes straight) and the Towers hit a double-team backbreaker on Savage. Savage comes back with the flying axehandle, but he doesn't want to tag out. Finally he does so by slapping Hogan right on his lustful, selfish face, and he walks out. Serves Hogan right. The Towers continue beating on Hulk, but he hulks up on Akeem and pins him with the legdrop at 18:33. *** I'd subtract 1/2* for the terrible, terrible acting, but that hardly seems fair.

Hulk storms back to the dressing room as Savage cuts a promo on the recovering Liz, and then Savage cuts the heel promo of a LIFETIME, unleashing all his crazy and paranoia in one awesome rage-filled rant. This is why I loved Macho Man so much. It's such a great bit of character acting from Savage, too, as he had been repressing his true nature for a year, but the knowledge that he had never beaten Hogan for his beloved title just ate him alive and caused him to revert to his primal nature. Of course, we later learned that he really was batshit insane in real life, too, but that kind of adds to the charm, I think.

WWF World title, cage match: Hulk Hogan v. Big Bossman

Thanks to the pre-match attack of Zeus, Bossman is able to gain control to start, but Hogan gets a clothesline out of the corner and slugs away. Big boot and Hogan tries to climb out, but Bossman nails him from behind and brings him down. Big splash and Bossman slam follow and Bossman tries to climb, as Jesse questions the wisdom of not just walking out the door. Bossman exits with ease, but Hogan grabs him by the throat and hauls him back in for the famous superplex off the top of the cage. They sell that one for quite a while and Hogan revives first, but can't make it out the door. Bossman comes back with a clothesline and gets a chain from Slick, using it to choke Hogan down, but they ram each other into the cage. Hulk rams him into the turnbuckles and retrieves the chain, knocking Bossman out with it and then running him into the cage multiple times. Legdrop, but Slick takes matters into his own hands and comes into the cage. Hogan disposes of him and steals his cuffs, then cuffs Bossman to the ring and walks out at 10:00. Famous but still overrated in general. *** Couldn't do this set without it, though.

The Brainbusters v. The Rockers

This is not the famous first match, but rather the less-famous 2/3 falls rematch. Marty controls Tully with an armbar and puts him down with an elbow, and a sunset flip gets the pin at 1:40. Heenan flips out on his team and the Rockers get a double-rollup for two and follow with a double superkick to put the Busters on the floor. Bobby has had enough and walks out on his team, leaving Arn to slug it out with Shawn in the corner. Shawn gets a hiptoss and then follows with a rana on Tully before cleaning house. Double hiptoss on Arn, but AA goes low and brings Tully in. Shawn hits him with a kneelift for two and tries a flying headscissor, but Arn clotheslines him on the top rope and Tully gets the pin at 5:00. We take a break and return with Tully going after the weakened Shawn, and AA follows with a spinebuster for two. Arn does the knucklelock spot and hits Shawn's knees, but Tully tosses him to recover. Shawn comes back in with a high cross for two, but he collides with Arn and both guys are out. Hot tag Marty and he dropkicks both Busters, but Arn catches him with his head down. The Busters set him up for the spike piledriver, but Shawn gets rid of Tully and finishes Arn with the high cross at 9:04. And Tully and Arn end their WWF career putting the Rockers over, which is somehow fitting. Not the best representation of their series, but still fast-paced and fun. ***

Special Features:

- Brother Love interviews Hulk Hogan on the subject of Big Bossman's previous attack.

Dusty Rhodes v. Big Bossman

Bossman attacks and gets repelled, but catches Dusty from behind. Slick chokes away, which angers a vocal fan at ringside. Dusty eats post and Bossman pounds him back in the ring and starts working on the arm. He knees Dusty down and stays on the arm, then elbows him down. He misses a charge, however, allowing Big Dust to slug him down. Bossman chokes him on the ropes, however, and then makes the mistake of stalling, which allows the cheap rollup finish at 4:39. The annoying fan at ringside joins Dusty for some dancing in the ring, and would later be known as Sapphire. *

Disc Three

- Mr. Perfect and the Genius steal the WWF title belt and smash it with a hammer, because they want a title shot!

Mr. Perfect & The Genius v. Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior

Hogan powers Perfect into the corner to start and slams both heels, which has them running. Over to Warrior for some noggin knocking and Perfect bumps all over the place. Back to Hogan and Perfect slugs away on him in the corner, but Hulk fires back with an elbow in the corner and sends him into the post. Back in, Perfect bounces out of the corner like a superball while Genius takes notes on his scroll. Hulk drops elbows and puts Perfect on the floor again with a big boot, but the SCROLL OF DEATH turns the tide. The pen is indeed mightier than the sword. Back in, Hulk with a small package for two, but Perfect clotheslines him down again. Necksnap and it's over to the Genius for some prancing, which has Warrior fired up. There's no displays of individual lifestyle choices when Warrior's around! Perfectplex gets two. He releases the hold and lets Genius attempt the moonsault, but Hulk blocks and it's hot tag Warrior. He destroys Genius, but Hulk tags himself in and drops the leg for the pin at 7:48. Fun stuff with crazy Perfect bumps. *** And of course an errant clothesline sets up Wrestlemania VI.

Hulk Hogan v. Mr. Perfect

Hulk sends Perfect into the corner and adds a series of slams, which has Perfect running to the floor. Back in, Perfect whips him into the corner and slugs away, then dodges the big boot and goes to confer with the Genius. Hogan sends him into the post as a result, and they head back in for a Hogan clothesline and a corner clothesline. Axe bomber and an elbow in the corner puts Perfect back on the floor and Hogan follows for the brawl while Jesse points out all the rules broken by Hulk. Finally Perfect has had ENOUGH of Hulk's rulebreaking and he hits him with the scroll to take over, and we take a break. Back in, Perfect with the necksnap, but Hulk pops up and fires away with elbows. He puts his down, however, and Perfect hits him with the Ax forearm and NOW YOU'RE GONNA SEE A PERFECTPLEX. And you know how it goes from there. Legdrop at 7:54. **1/2

The Rockers v. The Hart Foundation

Still from the April show, not the more famous lost match from October 90. Bret and Marty do a nice sequence to start and Shawn comes in with a high cross for two. Rockers double-team Bret with a legsweep, but Anvil storms in and clotheslines them both to a big pop. He headlocks Marty and overpowers him, but Marty uses speed and hooks a facelock to bring him into the Rocker corner. Over to Shawn, and although he can't get a slam, he can get a dropkick for two. Another bodypress attempt is blocked with a powerslam, however, and it's over to Bret. Atomic drop and clothesline for Shawn follow, and he adds the cheapshot from the apron as Anvil comes back in. Bret drops an elbow and sends Shawn into the corner, and the Harts do the double-team whip in their corner, which gets two for Anvil. Back to Bret, but Shawn gets a sunset flip for two as Demolition joins us at ringside. This breaks Bret's concentration, allowing Shawn to dropkick him out of the ring and we take a break. Back with Bret beating on Shawn in the corner, but he misses the second rope elbow. Hot tag Marty and he puts Bret down with a back elbow. Powerslam for Bret and a superkick gets two. Marty with a sunset flip for two. Bret comes back with a neckbreaker, but slingshots Anvil in and misses, allowing Marty to bring Shawn back in again. Neidhart absolutely levels him with a shoulderblock for two, but Shawn elbows him down for two. Bodypress gets two, but Demolition gets involved and a brawl erupts at 9:16. ***1/2

Intercontinental title: Mr. Perfect v. Tito Santana

Tito quickly gets a pair of armdrags and a dropkick to put Perfect on the floor. They do a chase out there and head back in, but Tito puts his head down and gets clotheslined. Perfect with a necksnap and he goes to a neck vice, but Tito fights up and the ref gets taken out. Tito goes to work on Perfect's leg and hooks the figure-four, but the ref is busy selling the knee. Flying forearm gets two. Another try gets two, and we get a new ref as we take a break. Back with Tito getting a bodypress for two, but Perfect gets a cheapshot and hammers away. Necksnap and Perfect pounds on him, but Tito comes back and Perfect does the ringpost bump. Tito with a pair of atomic drops and Perfect dives into the turnbuckle, then bumps into a clothesline from Tito that gets two. Tito puts his head down, but suckers Perfect into a small package for two, which Perfect reverses into his own for the pin at 10:05. As usual with Tito, this had great heat and solid work. ***1/2

- The guys reminisce about Oktoberfest. Gene introducing the Genius as the "master sausage stuffer" is pretty funny. And of course a food fight erupts.

Battle Royale

From April 91, the dying days of the show on NBC. We've got Hulk, Earthquake, Rockers, Orient Express, Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado, Warlord, Tugboat, Mr. Perfect, Haku, Greg Valentine, Power & Glory, Big Bossman, Barbarian, British Bulldog and Jimmy Snuka. Roma and Jannetty put each other out and then it's a whole lot of milling around and punching. Hulk and Hammer team up with elbows on Perfect, but can't put him on the floor. Warlord dumps Bulldog and Tanaka goes out off-camera. Quake takes Snake. Jake gets pissed and lets the snake slither around the ring, so the ref halts the match and we take a break. Back with Hulk and Tugboat having a dramatic altercation until Warlord interrupts and gets tossed out for his troubles. Barbarian puts Tornado out, and Duggan stands there going "Hooo" until Earthquake tosses him out. Hulk dumps Quake in retribution. Hulk puts Kato out, but Tug puts Hulk out, then Shawn puts Tug and Herc out. Wow, good showing for Michaels. Perfect dropkicks Bossman into a Barbarian backdrop over the top, making him the only choice left with a shot to win. Shawn dropkicks Haku out and goes after Perfect, but can't get him over the top. Shawn bumps to the apron, however, and Perfect slugs him to the floor and out. That leaves Perfect, Valentine and Barbarian. Hammer can't get Barbarian out and the heels double-team him, but Perfect accidentally dropkicks Barbarian out of the match. Perfect and Hammer exchange chops in the corner and Perfect goes down, then Hammer puts him down with an elbow for good measure. He drops the elbows and tosses Perfect, but he still won't go out. Another go at it and Perfect takes him out while holding the ropes, winning the match.

Bret Hart v. Ted Dibiase

Wow, pulling out all the rarities. Also from the April 91 show. Dibiase slugs away in the corner, but Bret comes back with a hiptoss and a pair of clotheslines before clotheslining Dibiase to the floor and following with a pescado. Back in, Bret grabs a headlock, but gets tripped up by Sherri before recovering with a rollup for two. Bret charges and runs into a stungun, however, and Dibiase takes over with a piledriver. That gets two. Dibiase tosses him and Sherri gets some cheapshots, and back in for the choking. Bret takes the corner bump and it's Million Dollar Dream time, but Bret runs him into the corner to break. Bret makes the comeback and Dibiase begs off, so Bret gives him an atomic drop and back elbow for two. Russian legsweep gets two. Middle rope elbow gets two. Sherri trips Bret up again and this time he chases her (Piper: "This is on purpose!" Ya think?), which allows Dibiase to attack from behind. And in fact Piper is so pissed that he leaves the "booth" and heads down to help Bret, sending Sherri running with a broom. Back in the ring, Bret hammers away in the corner, but Dibiase chases after Piper and Bret follows for the lame double countout at 9:37. Weak, this was in **** territory before the cop-out finish. ***1/2

- So in 1992, the show moves to FOX, and I don't get to watch it anymore as a result.

Hulk Hogan & Sid Justice v. Ric Flair & Undertaker

Flair starts with Sid and gets backdropped out of the corner, and it's over to Hulk. He hiptosses both heels and runs Taker into Sid's knee. Sid adds a slam, as does Hulk, and the heels bail and regroup. Back in, Taker gets an uppercut on Sid and Flair adds a clothesline for two. They double-team Sid, but Hulk comes in for the brawl and they give Flair the double-boot and clear the ring. Hulk poses and Sid looks none too pleased about him hogging the spotlight. We take a break and return with Undertaker attacking Sid while he seethes, and we get double-teaming in the heel corner. Sid rams them together and brings Hulk back in, but Flair takes out the leg and goes to work. Figure-four, but Sid turns his back on him. The heels continue to double-team, but Hogan slams Flair off the top…and Sid denies him the tag again. Hulk hits the heels with a double clothesline…and Sid takes a walk. Flair tosses the ref for the DQ at 10:58, allowing Hulk to clean house. Nothing as a match, but again it had to be here for the Sid heel turn. *1/2

- Clips of Piper v. Mountie from the same show, as Piper reveals his shock-proof vest to retain the IC title.

Intercontinental title: Davey Boy Smith v. Shawn Michaels

Bulldog overpowers him to start, of course, so Shawn goes with the cheapshot, into a hiptoss and short-arm scissors. Hey, wonder what Bulldog will do to counter? And yes indeed, he powers Shawn up and drops him on the mat. Press slam follows and a clotheslines puts Shawn on the floor, as he's just bumping all over the place in his big solo network debut. Back in, Shawn slugs away in the corner, but Bulldog wins a battle of reversals and gets the armbar. Shawn dumps him to escape and unties the turnbuckle, as we take a break. Back with Shawn going to the chinlock and Bulldog slamming out of it, but Shawn works on the back and goes to the abdominal stretch. Bulldog fights out and faceplants him, then sends him into the corner and out with a clothesline. Catapult into the corner is followed by a clothesline for two. Delayed suplex gets two. Finally the turnbuckle comes into play, however, as Shawn gets a desperation whip into the dreaded cold steel to slow Bulldog's comeback. Another whip, but this time he eats the turnbuckle, and Bulldog goes to finish with a superplex...but his back gives out and Shawn pins him to win the title at 10:15. Clean as a sheet, as they say. Really liked this one, as the psychology was consistent, with Shawn working the back and then winning the title when Bulldog's back gave way. ***1/4 That's all I ask.

- And from there, we jump ahead 14 years to the modern era, with another show I've never bothered to watch before.

Street Fight: Shawn Michaels v. Shane McMahon

Shawn attacks during the Shane Dance and they brawl in the aisle, with Shawn hitting him with a chair and then setting up a table. Shane reverses him into the post and retrieves a ladder before sending Shawn into the post again. Vince puts Shawn on the table, but he fights up and they slug it out on the ladder. That results in Shane getting superplexed through the table, although Shawn gets most of that one as well. And we take a break. Back with Shawn slugging away in the ring, and he slams Shane and goes up the ladder, only to have Vince break it up with a kendo stick. Shane pounds him with the ladder for two, then runs the ladder into his face for two. Shane goes to a surfboard, which lasts a lot longer than you'd like for a street fight, and a hurricane DDT gets two. Chairshot sets up the Shane Terminator, but Vince gets too close and takes it instead. Shawn comes back with the flying elbow and superkick, but Vince pulls the ref out now as they stretch this out with every shortcut possible. Shawn goes after Vince, which allows Shane to go low and hook Shawn in the Sharpshooter, and of course Vince is there to ring the bell at 13:50. Seriously? They went with THAT finish? Shane just kind of does the same match over and over. ***

Shawn Michaels & HHH v. The Spirit Squad

This was pretty much the final burial of the Squad. This is elimination rules and when you're gone, you get locked in a cage at ringside. Shawn cleans house with the plastic megaphone and superkicks Mitch out of the match at 1:14. We take a break and return with HHH pinning Johnny after a spinebuster at 1:41. Kenny tries to take a walk and Shawn follows, but that allows Vince to come out and hit Shawn with a chair. Back in the ring, Nicky gets an elbow in the corner for two and follows with a sleeper. Kenny misses a flying legdrop and it's back to HHH, as he fights off the clowns with ease and tosses Nicky. KICK WHAM PEDIGREE kills Nicky dead at 5:01. Mikey follows at 5:38. Shawn finishes the squash with the superkick on Kenny into the Pedigree at 6:18. Why would someone supposedly as powerful and smart as Vince use these morons to do his dirty work? 1/2*

RAW World title: Edge v. John Cena

Brawl on the floor to start and Cena charges, but hits the floor as we take a break. Back with Edge clotheslining him, which sets up a sloppy superplex. Edge boots him down for two, but they slug it out, which allows Cena to get the backdrop suplex. Five knuckle shuffle and FU follow, but Lita pulls out the ref. Cena dodges a spear and hooks the STFU, but Lita decks the ref again and it's a DQ at 5:00. Just a quickie TV match. ** for Lita's boobs.

Special Features

- Mean Gene and Lord Alfred Hayes go on safari and meet a variety of animal-themed wrestlers.

- Shawn Michaels talks about winning the I-C title. He's got nothing to say, really.

- Matt Hardy boxes Evander Holyfield in a silly deal from 2007.

The Pulse:

Well I'd pretty much call this the perfect DVD set, and the scary thing is that they can easily do a volume 2 with stuff like Brainbusters v. Demolition, Hogan v. Bad News, Warrior v. Dibiase, etc. The modern stuff falls really flat and is the only real down portion of the set, but then no one watched the shows when they aired so this is a good chance to watch those matches, I guess.

Highest recommendation!

- Taped from Philadelphia, PA

- Your hosts are Dick Graham & Killer Ken Resnick

Paul Roma v. Steve Lombardi

Well it wouldn't be a late 80s house show without this match kicking it off.

Roma powers him into the corner to start and catches him with a powerslam, then takes him down with a headlock. Lombardi pounds away on the ropes, but Roma catches him with a bodypress for two and goes to the armbar. He controls the arm on the mat, but Lombardi slugs out and gets a backbreaker for two. Faceplant gets two. Lombardi gives him the dreaded boot to the bread basket and goes to his own side headlock on the mat, fighting off Roma's attempt to power up. Lombardi with more weak offense, but Roma powers him down and hits a clothesline out of the corner to come back. Monkey flip is blocked with an atomic drop, however, and Steve follows with a suplex for two. Roma whips him into the post and pounds away, then follows with a dropkick that sends Lombardi running to the other corner. Hooking clothesline gets two. Top rope sunset flip finishes at 9:50. This was your standard match between these two. **1/2

Butch Reed v. Dick Slater

I feel like I saw this one on an episode of Primetime earlier in the year. Reed runs to start and Slater beats on him in the corner. That takes on a weird tint, being that Slater is playing a proudly Confederate redneck and Reed is a black guy. Reed comes back with a slam and chokes Slater out behind the ref's back while working on a headlock. And yeah, more choking. Weird analogy from the announcers, as they note that Reed's Wrestlemania opponent Koko B. Ware is "built like a bowling pin -- very tough to knock down." Bowling pins are suddenly tough to knock down? That's kind of the point of them. Reed backdrops out of a piledriver attempt and Slater comes back with a small package for two instead. Neckbreaker gets two. Elbow misses, and Reed puts him down with a piledriver as a result. Slater bails to the floor to regroup, but Reed follows and Slater sends him into the post for the brawl. They both beat the count back in and Slater goes up with his flying elbow, but Slick puts the foot on the ropes. Slater chases after him, probably because he thought Slick was going to marry his daughter or something, and that allows Reed to get the cheap pin in the corner at 8:22. Well, no cheaper than the racial humor, but this didn't give me much more to work with, so blame the dull match. *1/2

Meanwhile, Outback Jack throws another shrimp on the barbie or whatever. No wonder they didn't give him promo time. Maybe if he spoke English instead of whatever Australians speak, he'd get over.

Outback Jack v. Frenchy Martin

Here's another one that was on Primetime in some form a million times. Jack powers him down and hiptosses him, sending Martin running to the floor. Back in, Jack puts him on the top rope and that goes nowhere, so Frenchy goes low to take over. He pounds away as Resnick gets a SWEET segue ("You don't want to turn your back on a snake like Martin. And speaking of snakes, Jake the Snake takes on Honky Tonk Man at Wrestlemania…") and Jack finishes with the boomerang clothesline at 4:55.

WWF World tag titles: The Hart Foundation v. The Islanders

Back in the slower-moving 80s, the Hart Foundation's title win over the Bulldogs was still fresh and still giving them nuclear heat. Big stall to start and Haku puts Neidhart down with chops . They do the test of strength and Haku dropkicks out of that, then sends Anvil reeling with a headbutt. So it's over to Bret, and he gets kicked in the face right off the bat and put down with an atomic drop. As a note, in the mind of Dick Graham, Haku = "Tama" and Tama = "Afa". Resnick, meanwhile, feels that Tama = "Haku" and Haku = "Tama". Tama chops Bret down and out and the champs go for advice from Jimmy Hart, and it's back to Anvil again. Tama showboats and tags Haku in, and the Islanders pinball Neidhart in the corner and double-team the arm. Tama is actually one step ahead of Bret and evades the cheapshot from the apron, but Anvil just clobbers him from behind anyway. That's why they're the tag champs! Bret drops a leg as I stop and ponder: I know that, in kayfabe, the purpose of wrist tape is for grip during holds, but what's the purpose (either real or kayfabe) for the Islanders to have ANKLE tape? I never got that. Tama gets choked in the corner and Anvil drops him on the top rope, which allows Bret to choke him out from the apron. He's having a grand old time doing it, which is a nice bit of facial expression. Haku has had ENOUGH and fights off the champs, so they toss Tama to the floor and the Islanders regroup. Back in, Anvil with a standing dropkick that gets two for Bret, but Tama gets a sunset flip. Bret makes the tag on the way down, however, and Anvil beats Tama down for two. Quality tag team stuff here. Anvil goes to a chinlock and Tama elbows out, so Anvil puts him back to the floor again as Tama is a bump machine tonight. Back in, Bret with a backbreaker for two. Neidhart comes in and collides with Tama. Tama goes for a slam and Bret dropkicks them over, but Tama rolls through for two. Big pop for that spot. Bret goes with biting in the corner, eschewing subtlety altogether, but he runs into a knee and it's hot tag Haku. He fires away on the champs and there's a malfunction at the junction, but Danny Davis makes a nuisance of himself while Tama gets the flying bodypress. Davis turns them over and Bret gets the pin to retain at 18:20. Classic Hart Foundation! ***3/4

Tom Zenk v. Greg Valentine

Quite the fruity pink robe for Valentine. Hammer takes him down with a snapmare, but misses the elbow, and Zenk sends him into the corner and starts working on the arm. Valentine with another snapmare for two and he pounds away in the corner, but Zenk goes back to the arm. Zenk whiffs on a bodypress, however, and Valentine hits him with a shoulderbreaker and chokes away in the corner. Valentine goes to a surfboard hold as the announcers make fun of Bob Uecker and ponder how many names he'll butcher. Pot, kettle, black. Valentine goes for a tombstone, but then changes it to a simple slam instead and gets two. That was weird. Greg suplexes him onto the top rope and goes to the figure-four, but Zenk actually fights to the ropes. He's lucky Valentine didn't have his shinguard yet. Zenk goes to the floor to regroup and draws Valentine out for the brawl, and they head in and out for the chase. Of course, Valentine catches him with a boot coming in, and then tosses him right back out again as this thing is going nowhere. Valentine tries a suplex and Zenk reverses to a rollup for two, and a pair of dropkicks get two. Zenk tries a headlock and they do an awkward spot where Valentine drops him on the top rope to escape, and that's a DQ at 11:20. This was WAY worse than you'd expect, as they blew a bunch of stuff and never found their rhythm. *

Rick Martel v. Brutus Beefcake

And of course the natural other half. Beefcake does some strutting to start and gets a couple of cheapshots, then plays "hide the foreign object", the easiest and yet most effective heel bit you can do. Brutus pounds away in the corner, and that gets Martel upset enough to fire back and send Beefcake out of the ring. Back in, Brutus goes to the headlock, but Martel hiptosses out of it and starts working the arm. Beefcake pounds him in the corner and tries his high knee, but he misses and hits the turnbuckle. Martel starts working on the leg and holds a leglock on the mat. Resnick actually notes "Turnabout is fair play" and "What's good for the goose is good for the gander". Really? What human being actually says that? Beefcake comes back with a stungun and they do the knucklelock on the mat, but of course Brutus lands on the knees and Martel comes back. Beefcake hits him with a kneelift, however, and presses him into a backbreaker for two. He pounds away and goes up, but Martel hits him on the way down and makes the comeback. A shot to the turnbuckle gets two. Abdominal stretch, but Beefcake hiptosses out, so Martel catches him with a sleeper. Beefcake runs him into the corner to break, and they both tumble out for the lame-ass countout at 15:30. Pretty pedestrian stuff in the days before Beefcake could hold his own or, you know, teach celebrities to wrestle. **

Piper's Pit, with special guest Danny Davis! Piper sucks up to the crowd by saying they should send their garbage to Montreal, because they can't play hockey there. Which is an odd thing to say considering Montreal was the defending champions that year, although the Flyers made it to the finals later in the year. Probably just cheap face heat, but geez, do your research. Anyway, first question for Davis: Why ARE you such a jerk? Davis: "What are you insinuating, Piper?" Piper: "That you're a cheat, a thief, and you're ugly on top of it." Davis claims to be as fair as any ref in the WWF, so Piper brings in Joey Marella, who notes that Davis sucks. Davis, however, brings out Adrian Adonis, and the fight is on. Gorilla Monsoon, at ringside for some reason, quickly hauls Adonis out of there and back to the dressing room, leaving tough-talking Davis alone with Piper. You can guess how that goes for him. Great fun.

Dino Bravo v. SD Jones

Bravo attacks and slugs Jones down, but SD comes back with a hiptoss out of the corner. Bravo pounds away and goes to a boston crab, and the side slam finishes at 3:08. Total squash. 1/2*

Hulk Hogan & Roddy Piper v. Kamala & Paul Orndorff

This should be all kinds of fun. The heels get whipped into each other and Hogan tosses Kamala over the top, as Piper starts proper with Orndorff. The faces take turns on the arm and Hogan gets the corner clothesline before adding a shot to Kamala and ramming them together again. Atomic drop for Orndorff and he tags out to Kamala, so Piper goes to the eyes and fires away in the corner to a gigantic reaction. Back to Hulk and they give Kamala a double boot before Hulk easily slams him and drops an elbow. Back to Piper, but Kamala pushes him back into the corner and the heels quickly take over and Piper's selling like he's been stabbed, poisoned and shot. Orndorff drops the boogie woogie elbow and goes to the chinlock, but Piper fights up and we get the false tag as they run through all the greatest hits. Kamala tackles Piper to prevent a tag. Orndorff lures Hulk in, allowing Kamala to splash Piper, but Hulk breaks up the pin. Paul is back in to beat on Piper's shoulder and he goes to the nerve hold, but Piper slips out and it's hot tag Hulk. He's the house of fire and runs Paul into both corners, but Kamala gets a shot from behind and it's BONZO GONZO. The heels take turns nailing Piper, but of course one misses and Kamala hits Orndorff by mistake, allowing Hogan to roll him up for the pin at 8:56. They hit all the beats perfectly and sent the crowd home with exactly what they wanted to see. *** And thus Piper makes his final appearance in Philly before retiring to a successful movie career and never wrestling again!

Good, fun show, with no real stinkers.

And yes, I know Australians speak English.

I don't know if you planned on doing the Legends of Wrestling set that the WWE put out this last Tuesday, but if not I'm writing reviews of the sets, including the three Best Buy exclusive discs.  Here's the first one.  I didn't recap the round table discussions because they don't exactly lend themselves to it well.  The other two (Andre/Sheik and Piper/Funk) will be done shortly too.

Indeed I'm not planning on doing the Legends DVD, as I have to save up my excitement for the SNME DVD that should be arriving from Highspots next week.  That being said, the Hogan/Backlund show on 24/7 has the distinct honor of being one of the few shows that has actually put me to sleep because it's so dull, with the other being an MSG card from 1981 that had some ridiculous main event like Backlund v. Baron Mikel Sciculuna in a 2/3 falls match.  

On with the review...

===================================================
WWE Legends of Wrestling: Hulk Hogan and Bob Backlund
Review by Charlie Reneke
http://5star.yuku.com
This disc was an exclusive to Best Buy.  With six matches, it is the smallest in terms of special features.  And the round table discussion is by far the most boring.  Nothing of note was said of either guy, and basically no stories that haven't been heard were told.  The panel gives both guys a verbal blowjob.  Everything is sunshine.  The end.
Now to the matches.
Match #1
Hulk Hogan, Greg Gagne, & Jim Brunzell vs. Bobby Heenan, Jesse Ventura, & Ken Patera
8/8/81 AWA
Seems hardly fair that Ventura and Patera are stuck with Heenan.  Then again, Hogan and Brunzell have to deal with Greg Gagne.  Audio-visual quality is horrible.  Looks like it was filmed on fan-cam.  Big six-way brawl starts.  The faces overcome the incredible odds of having shitty Greg Gagne on their team and manage to take out the heels.  Things settle down while Greg holds his face like a pussy, apparently having been punched earlier.  The poor thing.  I'm sure he'll tell you a story about how he made Ventura's career by taking that punch.  We stall for a good long while.  And it looks like it's going to start with Jesse and Hogan.  They trade wristlocks, but Hogan wins out and hangs up Ventura's arm on the ropes.  Jesse bails to his corner and tags out to Patera.  He gets beat up by everyone and slammed by Hogan.  Pretty big slam too.  Greg tags in and hits a crappy kneelift.  Stall is followed by a crappy armdrag and a crappy wristlock.  Greg could very well be the most worthless wrestler ever.  Even the truly bad ones like Giant Gonzales or Boogeyman at least served some purpose.  Tag to Brunzell after all that action, leads him getting a flying knee.  Brunzell with a keylock but Patera uses muscle to get him to the corner.  Faces are pissed that a heel has the nerve to fight back and they run in.  The ref chases them off giving the heels a 3-on-1 advanage.  Whip to the corner on Brunzell, but another doesn't work and Patera takes a nice bump.  Tag to Gagne who acts all macho and stuff.  He puts up his dukes and acts like he's king shit.  I guess it was Bobby Heenan who took the bump in the corner.  Hell if I can tell, the camera is so shitty and the announcer is no better. Hogan comes in and throws punches, then noggin-knocks the heels while Ventura uses a blatant choke on Gagne.  Powerslam on Gagne gets two, and then Patera puts a bearhug on.  Ventura in for his own bearhug.  Greg fights out of it but still gets clubbed around.  Ventura slaps on a backbreaker submission, but Brunzell cheats and runs in to save.  Gagne makes the tag but the ref doesn't see it.  Patera in with an atomic drop and some grounding and pounding.  Armdrag gets two.  Ventura in but Greg fights back.  Jesse holds him back and the heels help him cut off a tag.  Patera in with a sledge off the roeps.  He loads up for a piledriver but Greg backdrops out of it.  Greg tries to fight back but he's in the wrong corner.  Greg crawls on his hands and knees and makes the tag to Brunzell.  He beats up Patera, who tags to Ventura.  Figure-four to Ventura but Patera saves and tags in.  Suplex to Brunzell gets two.  Brunzell tags Hogan.  Punches for all.  Backdrop to Patera, who tags in Heenan against his wishes.  Hogan slings him into the ring, shoots him off and punches him in the gut.  Ventura and Patera are slung into eachother.  Bodyslam and legdrop by Hogan to Heenan gets the pin.
*1/2 Pretty dull match.  
Match #2: Handicap Match
Hulk Hogan & Andre the Giant vs. Bobby Heenan, Bob Duncum, Nick Bockwinkel, & Ken Patera
11/7/82 AWA
This was how things used to operate before the WWE went global.  A babyface would have the odds stacked against him and call in Andre the Giant for backup.  It worked in every territory in the US and was the established formula.  Andre would stick around long enough to help out the big babyface and win a battle royal or two, then leave.  Anyway, this could be a good match.  Bockwinkel was AWA Champion here and in a big feud with Hogan that would draw huge but ultimately go nowhere, leading to the death of the AWA.  How bad did the AWA suck at this point?  Ring introductions take five minutes.  We don't get any action until 5:40 after pushing play.  Ugh.  Same shitty audio/visual quality too.  The heels huddle to discuss the gameplan but Andre and Hogan jump them and they all bail.  And then we stall.  Hogan and Duncan start, and Duncan gets Hogan to the heel corner for some cheap shots.  Andre runs in and destroys the heels.  Hogan fights them all of as well.  Hogan beats up on Duncan, smacking him around.  Clothesline and an elbowdrop gets two.  Patera hits a flying knee to Andre, then goes after Hogan but fails.  Hogan hits a pressslam on Patera, dropping him into the ropes.  Andre fights off the heels.  On the outside, Hogan gives Duncan a backbreaker on the non-camera side.  There is only one angle, and it's a wideshot.  I know it's 1982 but come on, WCCW and to a lesser extent WWE had already changed the standards of production for wrestling at this point.  The ring isn't even microphoned, so you can't hear any of the action.  Back to the match, where Andre tags in and smacks Duncan around.  Andre was starting to deteriorate at this point.  He wasn't totally out of it, but was getting close.  Make no mistake, Andre was very agile in the 70s, but by time the 80s rolled around he had trouble moving.  He still manages to duck down for a leepfrog spot on Bockwinkel, but then sticks his butt up and Bockwinkel wipes out, no pun intended, on it.  Patera in to try and fight off Andre but he's totally no-sold and punked out by the faces.  Andre even resorts to biting him.  Patera tries to slam him but that doesn't work.  Patera gets shot off but hits a running kick which actually takes Andre down.  Heels try desperately to beat on Andre while he's on the canvas, but Hogan makes the save only to be told to sit and wait.  This leads to a four-on-one beatdown.  Hogan won't stand for it and runs in to save.  Hogan takes a chair to Bockwinkel on the outside whie the three heels in the ring still beat up Andre.  Things breakdown but Hogan is terrible at making saves it would seem.  He keeps picking on just one heel, allowing the others to keep ther three-on-one beatdown on Andre going.  And hell, the heels fight off Hogan then and he's getting his ass kicked.  Duncan and Patera double team Andre and manage to suplex him (!) for two.  Heenan is left alone in the ring with Andre, in the babyface corner.  This won't end well.  Andre fights him off, tags Hogan, and the babyfaces clean house.  Andre butt-smashes Heenan in the corner.  Andre is so big you can't even see Bobby.  Noggin-knocker to Bockwinkel and Heenan.  Hogan gets a hanging chokehold on Bockwinkel.  Andre holds him for a free shot.  Whip off the rope and a punch to the throat.  Whip to the corner but Hogan misses a charge and wipes out in the turnbuckle.  Duncan in to stomp away at Hogan, who is now the face-in-peril.  It breaks down to four on one.  The ref is totally cool with this, but when Andre tries to save, the ref chases him away.  Wrestling logic, gotta love it.  The faces beat on Hogan with various brawling moves for a while.  Duncan slaps on an armbar, which is an odd mid-match resthold if I've ever seen one.  Hogan gets a hiptoss out of it and a couple of the WORST armdrags I've ever seen. Hot tag to Andre.  Punches for all.  Headbutts and noggin knockers.  Andre kills all the heels and tags int Hogan.  Big boot and the legdrop to Duncan for two in what appears to be a bit of a blown finish.  It looked very weird.  Big boots by Andre to Patera and Duncan, then he slams Hogan on Duncan for the pin.  Big brawl breaks out after the match.
*3/4 Pretty disappointing overall.  Just very average, slow, and not well planned.
Match #3
Hulk Hogan vs. Harley Race
3/12/88 Saturday Night's Main Event
If the WWE hadn't fucked up so bad with Harley, this could have been quite the dream match.  But Race got saddled with a horrible gimmick.  Hogan chases Bobby Heenan away to start.  Race catches some elbowdrops as Hogan gets back in the ring, but Hogan no-sells them.  He hits a few headbutts.  They haven't even cut Hogan's music yet.  Three punches knocks Race down.  Clothesline.  A second clothesline sends Race over the top rope and onto a table.  Man, that looked sick.  Hogan picks up Race and throws him into the ring post.  Bobby is back, so Hogan chases him.  Race goes for a piledriver on the outside but Hulk backdrops out of it.  Atomic drop on the outside.  Hogan breaks the ref's count, then slams Race on the outside.  Hogan chops at Race then clotheslines him.  Hogan chokes with some tape.  Jesse Ventura is freaking out on commentary and McMahon denies any cheating.  It's disturbing how the babyface announcers always justified or outright denined Hogan's horrible sportsmanship.  I guess "Train, say your prayers, take your vitamins, and cheat and deny" doesn't sound good on a Wheaties box. Hogan goes after Heenan again, so Race takes control with some headbutts.  Belly to belly suplex and a kneedrop.  Piledriver and some stomps.  Race sets Hogan on a table, but misses a splash through it.  The table breaks a little.  Wow.  This is 1988, mind you.  Race doesn't really sell it and throws Hulk back in the ring.  Diving headbutt off the top rope for two as it's Hulk up time.  Three punches, whip to the corner, clothesline, clothesline, legdrop, see ya.
**1/2 Typical Hogan match from the period.  Race bumped like a madman to make it worth watching.
Match #4: WWWF Championship
(c) Bob Backlund vs. Spiros Arion
3/25/78 WWWF Philadelphia Spectrum Show
This is a little over a month after Backlund took the title from Billy Graham.  Backlund is toned here, which is weird.  Like he was trying for a body-builder look.  Looks like Opie on steroids.  Lockup, waistlock but it goes nowhere.  Arion gets his own waistlock but Backlund reverses it.  Arion gets a rope break to huge heat.  Ahhh, for the old days.  Another waistlock by Backlund and again Arion gets to the ropes, but Backlund drags him to the center of the ring.  Ref still makes him break and we have a standstill.  Arion goes for a headlock, then changes his mind and tires the waistlock again.  Backlund reverses, then bridges it on the canvas for two.  Another bridge gets two.  Arion tries to elbow out but Backlund won't let go.  Backlund holds the waistlock and gets to his feet, then delievers multiple atomic drops, but Arion bulldogs him into the turnbuckle and snapmares him.  Backlund turns an armdrag into a backslide for two.  Backlund with an amature takedown but Arion rolls over on it and gets a blatant choke, then another.  Backlund goes onto defense as Arion stomps away.  Scoopslam, but a second one is turned into a small package for two and Arion bails.  Back in, they fight over a knucklelock test.  Arion gets Backlund down to the canvas, but Backlund outwits him by crawling between his and flipping him over.  Never saw that one.  Pretty cool though.  Backlund to his feet and he dances around a bit.  Arion tries to lure Backlund to the corner but Bob is too smart for that.  Arion tries to kick Backlund but gets caught and hit with a kneelift.  Arion bails to the corner.  Backlund grabs a leg but Arion rakes the eyes multiple times and punches him down.  Shoot off the rope and a horrible looking kick by Arion.  Backlund tries to fight back with some headbutts.  Backlund counters a shoot off with a sunset flip for two and again Arion bails to the corner.  Arion sneaks around and goes for a kick but Backlund again catches him and fires off a legwhip.  Elbowdrop to the thigh and then a stand ankle lock.  He falls down and tugs on the ankle.  It gets a near fall.  This move goes on so long they actually clip part of it out.  Backlund lets go of it and kicks Arion in the leg.  Arion needs to use the ropes to hold himself up.  Arion removes the turnbuckle pad and slams Backlund into it.  He quits selling the leg and uses it to stomp and kick at Backlund.  Fucking lame.  Nothing more obnoxious then a guy spending five minutes in a hold only to get out of it and act like it was nothing.  Arion kicks Backlund out of the ring.  Bob barely beats the count in.  Arion drags Backlund in the ring and hits a gut buster out of a highly blown suplex for two.  Arion was well past his prime at this point and wasn't putting in any effort, it should be pointed out.  Backlund kicks at Arion, but still ends up in the Canadian Backbreaker submission hold.  That's what he was going for when he dragged Backlund out of the ring.  Backlund flips out of it but can't hold a backslide.  He slams Arion into the turnbuckle, hits a facebuster with the knees, then fires off a piledriver for two.  Oddly enough, fans didn't buy that as the finish.  Bulldog into the turnbuckle, then the big atomic drop, which was his finisher, but Arion's feet wiped out the referee.  Jesus Christ, they couldn't find a match with a clean finish for this set?  Arion recovers and slugs it out, so Backlund fights back.  They're using closed fists so I'm thinking this will be a double DQ.  Jay Strongbow and Peter Maivia run in, along with the rest of the lockerroom, and the match is scrubbed.  The guys fight loose from the rest of the wrestlers and continue to brawl.  Indeed, it's a double DQ.
*** Worthy of a passing grade but this wasn't a good choice to showcase Bob Backlund.  He was a great wrestler, but his true specialty was grudge matches.  The final chapters of the feud, when things got personal.  That's where Backlund shinned.  Nobody closed a chapter better then him.  They should have dug out the finale to the Arion feud.  Those matches were excellent.  This was just the beginning.
Match #5: WWE Championship, Cage Match
(c) Bob Backlund vs. Jimmy Snuka
5/19/80 Madison Square Garden
Cage doesn't seem very tall.  Snuka slowly makes his way into the ring.  Backlund drags Snuka in and starts to brawl.  Snapmare and a twisty foot to the face.  Slugoff, and Backlund headbutts for the advanage.  More slugging, and Jimmy goes for the door, but doesn't come close.  Snuka uses his Fiji Island chops and a headbutt to take control.  Knees to the midsection, and Backlund is thrown in the cage.  Kneedrop.  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz fistdrop by Snuka.  Jimmy goes for the door, but Backlund makes the save.  Jimmy whips Backlund hard into the cage.  Backbreaker, knee drop, forearm drop off the second rope (popping the crowd huge, go figure).  Backlund makes the save as Jimmy goes for the door.  Backlund blocks a punch and hits a roundhouse.  He kicks Snuka while Jimmy is on all fours, but then sells some kind of block that Jimmy did, even though he didn't do anything.  Weird.  Backlund rams Snuka hard into the cage, busting him wide open.  Slingshot into the cage, cage raking, punching.  Jimmy fights back.  Backlund goes for the door, but Snuka catches him and back-kicks him in the chest.  Chops by Jimmy, scoopslam, and Jimmy drops a knee off the second rope.  Elbow drop, kneedrops, and now Jimmy is feeling cocky, with a big grin on his face.  Well that's odd looking.  Suplex by Snuka, and he climbs the cage.  Superfly splash off the top of the cage misses, and Backlund crawls out the door for the win.  Fans are going crazy. 
** It got OK at the end, but the opening was boring as hell, with neither guy doing much of anything.  Still, a better match then Snuka's non-classic with Don Muraco.
Match #6: WWE Championship
(c) Bob Backlund vs. Buddy Rose
8/30/82 Madison Square Garden
Buddy Rose as a young Sherri Martel with him, looking about the same as she did during her Hall of Fame induction.  He also has the Grand Wizard with him.  Meanwhile, Backlund gets one of the biggest face pops I've heard, almost blowing out the microphones.  So yeah, fans are a bit hot for this one.  Fans are just totally, totally behind Backlund here.  Anyone that says he wasn't over (including Backlund himself) are fucking nuts.  This guy had a type of charisma that can't be defined.  He wasn't showy enough to be a star during the Rock & Wrestling era, but he wasn't some kind of no-heat champion like they make him out to be these days.
To the match.  They trade waistlocks but that goes nowhere.  Backlund rides him around like a horse, so Rose bails.  Circle and a drop toehold by Rose, but Backlund uses amature wrestling to escape it.  Headlock by Backlund becomes a full nelson for Rose.  Backlund uses his ass to escape, leading to a FUCKING SICK AND AWESOME bump where Rose slides between the bottom and middle ropes and takes a header on the concrete.  Well that's just nasty.  In the ring, Rose tries to out think Backlund during a shoot off sequence, but considering he must have had brain damage from that last bump, it doesn't work and Backlund dropkicks him out of the ring for another awesome bump.  Back in, Rose chops away at Backlund and grabs a headlock, then takes him down with it.  Backlund gets to his feet so Rose grinds it on.  Backlund shoots off and gets hit with a shoulderblock, then armdragged down and back into the grounded headlock.  This goes on forever.  To their feet, Rose grinds it out.  Backlund shoots him off and gets shoulderblocked.  Backlund catches Rose and slams him.  Rose fights off his follow-up attempt and slams Backlund, then stomps away.  Headlock takeover and the fans groan.  This eats up a few more minutes.  Backlund to his feet and he tries to shoot off by Rose holds on and grounds it out.  He leans on it to get a two count.  Backlund fights out with a headscissors.  Headlock takeover by Rose is counted into a headscissors again.  They repeat this sequence a few times until Backlund manages to be the one to grab the headlock.  Fans pop huge for it.  Seriously, to get to the point where you can pop a crowd with a headlock requires a psychology unheard of in wrestling today.  And Backlund not only grabs it, he grinds it, with the fans counting with each grind.  Backlund twists his boot into Rose's face, then slaps on the headlock.  He grinds it and the fans count along again.  This is insane to watch.  Rose goes limp and the ref drops his arm three times.  Whoops... Rose remembers it's not over and raises his hand while the ref looks on dumbfounded.  Match continues. Shoot off and Backlund gets a shoulderblock, then grabs another headlock takeover and grounds it down.  He holds it for a while then grinds on it to give the fans something to do, and they once again count along.  He ends up on his feet.  Rose backdrops him but Backlund holds onto the headlock and really twists on it.  If Rose didn't have cauliflower ears before, he has them now.  Backlund releases and Rose falls to the canvas in a lump.  Backlund goes for another headlock but Rose picks him up and rams him crotch-first into the turnbuckle.  Rose tosses him into... the ropes??  Backlund sells this like he hit the turnbuckle.  Rose then stomps away and Backlund falls out.  Rose stomps and punches away, then drags Backlund back in and fires off a backslide for two.  That's about as close as Rose ever got to the world title.  Backlund reverses a whip and sends Rose to the corner, then sends him to the other and fires off a monkey flip.  Rose begs off to the corner, but Backlund punches away.  Shoot to the corner and Backlund goes for a monkey flip but Rose fights it off and bridges a pin for one.  Flying backelbow barely gets two.  Elbowdrop misses and Backlund starts to attack the arm to set up for the chickenwing, but Rose rams him to the corner.  Scoopslam and Rose climbs.  Backlund moves out of the way, but Rose catches himself then dropkicks him.  Rose goes for a suplex but Backlund slaps on the chickenwing out of nowhere for the submission.
***1/2 Pretty good match.  Fans of today would have no patience for it.  But even in 1982 a headlock was not THAT big a move and the fact that these guys could carry an entire match using it, and have the fans eat up the whole thing, is really all the proof you needed that Backlund's overness is vastly underrated.  And Rose's selling and bumping were also top notch, at least for the era.  Fans of today might want to have the fast-foward button on standby for a couple of the headlocks. 
BOTTOM LINE: Of the six Legends of Wrestling discs released thus far (three of which are exclusive to Best Buy, at least in the United States), this one is the weakest.  The panel was a total snoozefest and truly the only one where nothing of note was said at all.  The match selection is terrible, and considering this is likely Backlund's only shot at having a DVD, they could have done better.  And what's up with only having six matches?  The other sets have between 7 and 12.  With the Hogan disc in theory being the most popular one at the checkout stand and possibly the introduction for some of the series, they should have gone more out.  I paid less then the $12.99 price tag for it (it was buy two in the set, save $10, and I bought the whole set this way), but I still feel this was not worth it.  Thumbs down.

- This is a redo of a rant from 98-ish and a pretty fun show anyway. This one ties into the January theme of "ring royalty" via Macho King, I'm thinking.

- Taped from Chattanooga, TN.

- Your hosts are Vince & Jesse.

Macho King Randy Savage v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

This is a "title" match, for those wondering. Savage's coked-out promo is classic stuff ("The guillotine is what peasants use to get their hair cut, yeah!") and Mean Gene notes that some people are born great, some have greatness thrust upon them, and still others steal it. Very true. Duggan insolently dumps over Savage's carriage to start, but puts his head down in the ring and gets nailed. Duggan comes back with a clothesline for two and follows with an atomic drop, but gets distracted with Sherri, allowing Savage to dump him. Double axehandle follows and they head back in for another one, and that gets two for the King. Necksnap gets two. Blind charge misses and Duggan fights back, backdropping Macho out of the ring. Vince declares the match OVER, but he's not there to elbow the timekeeper in the ribs so it continues regardless. And we take a break. Back with Duggan slamming Savage and following with a kneedrop for two. Forearm gets two, as Sherri continues being a pest. Duggan puts Savage down with a pair of clotheslines and dumps him again, but again with the Sherri and a chase ensues. Duggan threatens to backhand her, but Savage nails him from behind and follows with the double axehandle. Once more from Sherri, as she gives Savage her purse and he KO's Duggan for two. Jesse is mystified that anyone could be dumb enough to fall for it twice. Duggan recovers with a small package for two and makes the comeback, sending Savage into the corner with an atomic drop. He sets up to finish, but Savage rolls out and reverses a suplex back in to finish at 7:55. You have to hand it to Sherri -- Elizabeth would never get her hands dirty like Sherri would. In fact, it's probably her fault that Savage lost the World title to Hogan. Fun, fast-paced match with Savage cheating six ways from Sunday to retain the crown. He's no worse than Prince Charles, I suppose. ***

Mr. Perfect & The Genius v. Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior

Hulk Hogan should bring Warrior in as a coach for any further seasons of CCW and then make his students watch and imitate the pre-match promo. Without coke. Now that would be entertainment. Anyway, Hulk slams the heels repeatedly to start and Warrior cleans house. Back in, Perfect slugs away in the corner, but Hulk elbows him out of the ring and sends him into the post, as Hennig is already on bump overdrive tonight. Back in for another 180 bump off a trip to the turnbuckle, then one off a punch, then another off the turnbuckle. And people wonder why he had back problems. Genius, meanwhile, grabs his scroll and presumably does a live blog from the ring apron while Perfect bumps to the floor off the big boot. The headline turns out to be "WHAM!" as Perfect uses the scroll on Hogan to take over, and slugs away in the ring. Hulk sneaks in a small package for two, but Perfect stomps him down again and adds an Ax clothesline. Necksnap and it's over to Genius for his mincing offense, and Warrior is offended. Queering don't make the world work, you know. Perfect slugs away and now you're gonna see a Perfectplex, but he releases at two and lets hetero lifemate Poffo try the moonsault. That misses, so Perfect goes up and tries himself, but lands on Hogan's foot. Hot tag Warrior, and he beats the swishiness right out of Poffo, dumps Perfect, and that fucking jerk Hogan tags himself in and legdrops Genius for the pin at 7:50. That was WARRIOR'S kill! Warrior "accidentally" clotheslines Hogan in the post-match fracas with the heels (but really could you blame him?) and they nearly come to blows, setting up Wrestlemania VI in the process. Hennig bouncing all over the ring like a superball makes anyone look good. ***1/4

Jake Roberts v. Greg Valentine

Hammer takes Jake down with an armdrag to start, but Jake tries for the DDT, forcing Valentine to bail. Back in, Greg gets a cheapshot and throws chops in the corner, then whips Jake into the turnbuckle and drops the elbow for two. He slugs Jake down for two and drops a knee on the back for two. Jake slugs back and runs Hammer into the corner, which sets up the short-arm clothesline. He tries the DDT, but Valentine backdrops out of it and sends Jake into the corner to dodge a kneelift. The figure-four appears imminent, but Jake runs Valentine into Jimmy Hart and KICK WHAM DDT follows. Ted Dibiase runs in for the DQ at 5:14. Sadly, Virgil is afraid of snakes, so he's unable to reclaim the stolen Million Dollar Belt. This would have been better with 15 minutes instead of 5. **

Ravishing Rick Rude v. Dusty Rhodes

This is another feud that would seem to have been a natural fit and yet never happened. Rude attacks to start, but Rhodes puts him down and drops an elbow on the back. They head to the floor and Dusty rams the back into the apron to work it over. Back in, Rude tries a slam for the comedy spot, only to get elbowed down. Dusty misses an elbow and Rude goes to a chinlock, while Bobby Heenan gives a piece of his mind to Sapphire. Tempers flare outside the ring and the managers are sent packing as we take a break. Back with Rude kneeing Dusty out of the ring and into the post. He goes to an armbar while Sapphire returns to sit in the front row, as ticket sales were so bad in early 1990 that you could buy a ringside seat halfway into a TV taping. Dusty and Rude collide, allowing Rude to go up, but Dusty nails him on the way down and works the leg. Rude stomps away in response and Dusty comes back ("Hit him in the gut!" notes Jesse as he tries to cheer Rude on) but Rude slugs him down again. Sapphire draws Rude out of the ring with a "seductive" pose, and the menfolk brawl to the back for the double countout at 8:38. No official decision announced, but I'm just assuming. This was Rude's last tour as a comedy heel before his repackage as a main event killer at Wrestlemania VI. **

Dino Bravo v. Rugged Ronnie Garvin

Poor Garvin doesn’t even get an entrance at this point in his WWF career. Bravo pounds away to start and tosses Garvin, allowing Earthquake to get a cheapshot and send him back in. Bravo drops an elbow for two off that. Gut wrench gets two. Bravo misses a series of elbows and Garvin slugs back and puts him down with Hands of Stone, but he's such a jobber here that Bravo just gets up. Garvin goes after Jimmy Hart, but his Garvin Stomp is interrupted by Earthquake. Bravo tosses him and Garvin goes up with a flying bodypress, but Bravo rolls through to finish at 3:15. The Canadian beatdown commences from there and that was pretty much it for Garvin on the national scene. *

You could definitely tell that the SNME concept was running out of steam by this point, but this is a fun show with some good matches that you didn't often see on TV, so it's well worth checking out.

- Taped from Toronto, ON

- Your hosts are Gorilla & Jesse.

Tony Parisi v. Johnny K-9

They fight over a headlock to start and K-9 pounds away in the corner until Parisi backdrops him out. K-9 goes a little nuts and retreats to the ramp to talk it over, but Parisi snaps him back in and goes back to the headlock. K-9 escapes and goes up, but Parisi slams him off for two. He goes to work on the leg, but takes so long that Gorilla notes he probably forgot which was the bad one. Jesse and Gorilla could be pretty droll when faced with such a crappy match. They exchange boots and Parisi gets a sunset flip for two before firing away and into a backdrop. Flying butt splash finishes at 7:50. This was definitely not a scientific classic. 1/2*

Hercules Hernandez v. Bob Marcus

I don't give Marcus much of a chance here. Jesse gives him 3:1 odds. Hercules pounds away for a couple of minutes and drops an elbow for two, then hits a suplex for two, picking him up. Herc argues with the ref about his right to be a jerk, and the jobber rolls him up for two and makes his comeback. Herc casually destroys him with a clothesline out of the corner and finishes with the torture rack at 5:00. Total squash in Herc's debut. 1/2*

Rene Goulet v. Ron Shaw

Jesse and Gorilla swap stories about SASKATOON! My year is complete. Goulet works for the hammerlock, but Shaw takes him down with a top wristlock. Goulet goes to a chinlock and locks in the clawhold as Gorilla and Jesse casually bust on Goulet's lack of success with the hold as of late. And indeed, Shaw fights up, but misses a blind charge. Goulet gets two off that. Goulet drops a fist for two. And it's back to the "scorpion clawhold", but Shaw fights up again and whips Goulet into the corner and out. Back in, Rene catches him with a cheapshot but only gets one. Shaw finishes with a sunset flip at 7:00. How about that. 1/2* Goulet attacks him and then runs away when challenged.

Canadian Heavyweight title: Dino Bravo v. Tiger Chung Lee

This is late 85 and by early 87 Bravo had ballooned to at least 70 pounds of muscle heavier. That can't be healthy, even with the esteemed Dr. George Zahorian carefully supervising. Bravo takes Lee down with a headscissors to start and holds onto that until Lee escapes. He switches to a top wristlock and goes to work on the arm. Lee finally breaks out of that with a superkick in the corner, then goes to a chinlock. Jesse notes that he wouldn't want to face Bravo for the Canadian title because there's not enough sun up here to support his Hollywood tan, but he'd consider winning the belt if Bravo's Mountie-themed coat was on the line as well. What interesting conversations you used to get when they were bored. Lee chokes Bravo out on the ropes and drops a fist for two. And we're back to the chinlock, which Jesse actually calls a "resthold" for the first time I can recall on a WWF TV show. Tiger with a clothesline for two and then back to the chinlock. Bravo makes the comeback and slugs him down, and a backdrop gets two. Lee blocks another attempt, but Bravo hits a backdrop suplex to retain at 8:50 for a big pop. Pretty dull stuff. *

The Hart Foundation v. Hillbilly Jim & Uncle Elmer

Rare red tights for the Harts tonight. The overdubbing of the hillbilly music is pretty obnoxious here, leaving me wondering what music they were using that needed to be recorded over. Jim starts with the Anvil and works on his arm, and it's over to Elmer for more of the same. Jim gets too close to the heel corner and some double-teaming turns the tide, as Anvil goes to the chinlock and Bret chokes him out in the corner. Anvil pounds him down as the heat for this is ridiculously off the charts for such a crap match. Hillbilly tries to slug back, but Anvil cuts off the ring with a facelock and we do the false tag. Anvil accidentally dropkicks Bret on the double-team, however, and it's HOT tag to Elmer. Bret even takes the railing bump because the crowd is so apeshit for this, and Elmer splashes Anvil in the corner. Bret smartly trips him up, however, and Anvil covers for the pin at 8:28. Uncle Elmer was some kind of awful but this had heat like you wouldn't believe. And then the ref changes his mind and restarts the match, counting out the Harts instead. OK, that's pretty lame. *1/2

King Tonga v. Bob Orton

Now the crowd's getting good and revved up. Orton swears up and down that the cast is totally clean. Honest. Tonga wisely goes after the "broken" arm to start and wrestles him to the mat. Orton sneaks out and jaws with the fans, allowing Tonga to dropkick him for two. Back to the arm, but Orton unwinds some tape and chokes Tonga out with it. He claims innocence, then does it again, hiding the offending weapon in his cast. He slugs away in the corner and drops an elaborate elbow before hitting an atomic drop and knee for two. Orton tries a piledriver, but Tonga backdrops out of it and makes the comeback, slugging him down until Orton begs off. Tonga makes the giant mistake of putting his head down, however, and Orton clobbers him with the cast for the DQ at 8:08. Orton celebrates, oblivious to the actual decision rendered. Bob Orton kind of ruled, man. This was pretty disappointing, as I was hoping for Orton bumping around for Tonga's chops and headbutts, but again had really good heat. **

Paul Orndorff v. Ted Grizzly

Who the FUCK is Ted Grizzly that Orndorff should be so pissed off at him? Orndorff just destroys the poor Moondog-looking bastard and finishes with the piledriver at 0:45. DUD

WWF World title: Hulk Hogan v. Terry Funk

The crowd is just totally ape for this, as I'm shocked they didn't get more mileage out of this feud. Funk threatens to smack Gorilla around, because he's awesome. They reverse each other into the corner in a neat spot and Hogan wins that one, hitting the corner clothesline to follow up. Funk bails and re-channels his crazy, grabbing the megaphone, but Hulk dumps him and Funk does the rocking horse spot in the ropes. Back in, Hulk slugs away and follows with a backdrop suplex for two. Funk goes low pretty blatantly to take over and tosses Hogan, dropping an axehandle from the apron. Back in, he chokes away with the tape and then adds a piledriver for two. Hulk fights back on the ramp and slams Funk into the ring, making the comeback. Clothesline and elbowdrop sets up the big boot, but Terry bumps to the apron to foil the legdrop. Hulk suplexes him in, but Hart hooks the leg and Funk gets the PIN?!? Nope, Hogan has his foot on the ropes, and he steals Jimmy Hart's boot and KO's Funk to retain at 9:09. What a sportsman. Tons of fun Terry bumps here make this a win. ***

WWF tag team titles: The Dream Team v. The British Bulldogs

Dynamite starts with Valentine and works on a headlock, then shoulderblocks him to the apron. Back in, Valentine with a slam, but Kid does it harder and then adds one for Beefcake as well. Over to Davey Boy with a headlock on Beefcake, and the Bulldogs team up for a double headbutt on him before Kid adds a snap suplex and drops a knee. Back to Davey with a hammerlock, but Beefcake takes him down and makes the tag to Hammer. Davey goes to the headlock again, into a hiptoss and standing dropkick, and we hit the chinlock. Valentine fights up and clobbers Davey with a clothesline, allowing Brutus to come in and pound away. He goes to a sleeper, as does Hammer, and they use some ref manipulation for the double-team. Beefcake throws a SUPERKICK of all things and chokes Davey out on the top rope, which has Jesse all proud. Beefer with the spinning toehold, although he's working the right leg for some bizarre reason. Is Canada like Mexico where you have to switch from left to right? Anyway, Davey fights off a figure-four attempt by Valentine and makes the tag to Dynamite, as noggins are knocked and I'm sensing a curfew draw here given that this isn't really going anywhere. Kid with the snap suplex for two. The Dream Team gets a cheapshot in their corner and Beefcake drops a knee on Dynamite for two. They work him over, but Kid fights back on Beefcake and makes a hot tag to Davey Boy. Running powerslam on Beefcake and he puts Hammer on his shoulders, allowing Dynamite to climb on TOP of Hammer and dive off with the headbutt on Beefcake! WOW! Davey then hits a death valley driver on Valentine and Kid goes up with a missile dropkick on him, and that gets the apparent pin, although the ref waves it off for being in the ropes. Davey with a delayed suplex, but Beefcake tags in and gets the high knee for two. Davey with a small package for two. Spike piledriver (!!!) on Beefcake, but the bell rings for curfew at 13:38 just as this was getting mind-blowing. This was some kind of finish to a pretty crappy show overall. ***3/4

And we wrap this bad boy up with the top five in the fan-voted countdown of best Starrcade matches ever, leading up to the DVD. Before we begin, let's recap the previous 20 choices…

#25: Hulk Hogan v. Rowdy Roddy Piper (1996)

#24: Sting v. The Great Muta (1989)

#23: WCW World tag titles: Ricky Steamboat & Shane Douglas v. Barry Windham & Brian Pillman (1992)

#22: WCW World title: Goldberg v. Kevin Nash (1998)

#21: Battlebowl Battle Royale (1991)

#20: US title: Dustin Rhodes v. Steve Austin (1993)

#19: NWA World tag team titles: Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson v. The Road Warriors (1987)

#18: Jushin Liger v. Rey Mysterio (1996)

#17: Skywalkers match: The Rock N Roll Express v. The Midnight Express (1986)

#16: NWA World title: Ric Flair v. Lex Luger (1988)

#15: Eddie Guerrero v. Shinjiro Ohtani (1995)

#14: NWA World Tag team title: The Road Warriors v. Dusty Rhodes & Sting (1988)

#13: King of Cable final: Sting v. Big Van Vader (1992)

#12: NWA World Tag title: The Brisco Brothers v. Ricky Steamboat & Jay Youngblood (1983)

#11: NWA World title: Ric Flair v. Dusty Rhodes (1985)

#10: WCW Cruiserweight title: Eddie Guerrero v. Dean Malenko (1997)

#9: The Steiner Brothers v. The Road Warriors (1989)

#8: Ladder match: 3 Count v. Knoble & Karagias v. The Jung Dragons (2000)

#7: Sting v. Ric Flair (1989)

#6: Roddy Piper v. Greg Valentine (1983)

- Hosted by Jim Ross.

#5: Skywalker match: The Road Warriors v. The Midnight Express

From Starrcade '86. This is more about drama and storyline than match quality. Hawk was actually working this match with a broken leg, so wow. No wonder he was on painkillers. Props to everyone for bravery because if I had to climb that rickety-ass scaffolding and walk around I'd be crapping myself. The Warriors beat the Express down to start, but Bobby tosses powder around to gain the advantage, but the Warriors punch and kick them down again and Bobby even manages to blade up there. The Express tries to climb down to the bottom to escape, but the Warriors follow them down and boot them off for the win at 7:13. It's just not a very good match. * The more historic part occurs when the Warriors chase Cornette up the scaffolding and knock him off, as Cornette has calculated that hanging from the bottom and then dropping to the mat would only be a six foot fall, but it ended up blowing out both knees and messing him up for the rest of his life. The whole story he tells in shoot interviews about how he wanted Bubba to carry him to the back and couldn't get the message across is hilarious stuff.

#4: WCW World title: Hulk Hogan v. Sting

From Starrcade '97. Y'all know the deal here, I'm sure. If you want to see the exact moment when Sting reached his peak as a star, it's the moment just before he steps into the ring for the first time in 18 months. It's all downhill from there, sadly, because once he started wrestling again everyone remembered that oh yeah, it's just Sting. They do the power matchup and Hogan pounds him down to start, then slugs away in the corner and follows with the corner clothesline. He gets a slam, but misses a series of elbows and Sting dropkicks him to the floor, which gives Hulk the chance to stall. Back in, Hulk tries a headlock, but Sting fires back with another dropkick to send him out. They've just totally managed to kill the hottest crowd possible in the span of 5 minutes and it's astonishing that people this incompetent somehow managed to make money for so long. Back in and Sting works on a headlock, but Hulk fires back with a clothesline and gets a suplex. Sting no-sells that (ooh, a suplex, what a superhero) and fires back in the corner, but Hogan rakes the eyes to kill the momentum yet again. They brawl on the floor and Hogan clubs him down and sends him into the post, basically making him look like a total chump. Sting charges and splashes the railing as a result, and Hogan brings him back in for an atomic drop. Big boot and legdrop finishes clean at 11:18 (although of course the count was supposed to be "fast"), and Sting looks like the biggest jobber who ever jobbed. And to make it worse, Bret Hart stops the bell from ringing for no reason, tosses Hogan back in, and restarts the match, allowing Sting to get the Stinger splash and fight off the nWo before finishing with the Scorpion deathlock at 12:56. So Sting looks terrible, Bret Hart looks like a whiner, and Hogan would go on to win the title a bunch more times. Just so awful on so many levels, but you certainly can't deny the historic aspect of it. 1/2* Once again, this should have been five minutes long and featured Sting beating the hell out of Hogan like Luger did to him in August.

#3: NWA World title: Harley Race v. Ric Flair.

This is a cage match, and the main event of the first ever Starrcade in 1983. Gene Kiniski is the special referee. Lockup and Flair takes him down with a headlock, which gets him nowhere. Flair starts him with a chop and goes back to the headlock, but Race breaks on the ropes and gives him a knee. Flair returns the favor on the other side and chinlocks him, which turns into another headlock, but Race gets the high knee. He misses the falling headbutt, and Flair chops him down for one. Back to the headlock for Flair, but Race rolls him over a few times, and Flair rolls over into a facelock instead. He holds on and tries a suplex out of it, but Race reverses for his own, and gets two. Elbowdrop misses and Flair goes for a slam, but Race falls on top for two. Race drops a knee (all this use of the knee remind you of anyone?) and some more in the corner for the choke, but Kiniski pulls him off. Race keeps pounding Flair down and drops another knee, setting up a piledriver and an elbowdrop for two. Race sees the bad neck and drops an elbow on it, and a neckbreaker gets two. He drops more knees on the neck, drawing a count from Kiniski. Race lets him up and then tosses him into the cage, which (surprisingly) doesn’t draw blood. Shoulderbreaker gets two. Flair comes back and slugs away at the gut of Race, but a headbutt puts Flair down again and Race drops a headbutt. Back to the cage goes Flair, but he fights back, so Race puts him into the cage again, and now there’s blood. Race goes to work on the cut in the corner, but Kiniski pulls him off and Flair comes back with chops. Race sneaks in with a headbutt, however, and tries to whip Flair into the corner, but it’s reversed and both are out. Race goes into the cage and now he’s bleeding, so Flair goes to work with a kneedrop and starts going to work on the cut. Piledriver gets two. Now Flair goes for the neck, which is almost an anomaly considering his usual MO, and gets a butterfly suplex for two. Back to the cage a couple of times, drawing the ire of Gene Kiniski, but Race goes low with a headbutt to turn the tide again. Flair eats some cage in dramatic fashion, but keeps fighting back. Race keeps slugging him down, but Flair chops him down for two. Elbowdrop and he peppers Race with fists and does some strutting (and bleeding), and a backdrop suplex sets up the figure-four. Race powers him over, however, and they’re in the ropes. Race headbutts him down again, but a suplex attempt is reversed by Flair for two. Race headbutts him down again and goes up with a diving headbutt, which gets two. Vertical suplex gets two. Race keeps working on the cut, which has now turned Flair’s hair red and sends him back into the cage again, but now Kiniski drags Race away by the hair to break it up. Race goes for another suplex, which Flair reverses to a delayed vertical suplex, but he misses an elbowdrop. Race grabs another headlock, but accidentally headbutts Kiniski. They slug it out in the corner and Flair staggers Race, and goes up with a flying bodypress, as they trip over Kiniski and Flair gets the pin and the title at 24:01. This was a slower pace than most fans today would probably be accustomed to, but it all top-shelf stuff, with perfect execution throughout. The only flaw would probably be Kiniski’s refereeing job, but you can’t really hold that against the wrestlers. *****

#2: US title, I Quit Match: Tully Blanchard v. Magnum TA

I know they probably wanted a Flair match on top of the countdown, but I'm sorry, there's no way this isn't the greatest match in the history of Starrcade and a contender for one of the greatest matches of all-time, period. I know people really like my original rant on the match, but I love this one so we'll do it one more time. This match is pure hatred and rage and seeing all the buildup on 24/7 from week to week on World Championship Wrestling just makes it all the greater. The dynamic is like Ric Flair v. Dusty Rhodes, but good. Sadly, this would prove to be the high point of Magnum's seemingly unlimited potential, as the car accident ended his career before he could claim his destiny at Starrcade '86. Magnum immediately wins a slugfest and sends Tully reeling, and they tussle on the mat as a result. Tully gets a cheapshot and fires away with forearms, but Magnum fires back with REDNECK RAGE and Tully runs to the apron, getting nowhere. Magnum pounds him on the ropes, but Tully runs him into the seam of the cage and cuts him open right away. Magnum powers out of a chinlock in a famous iconic image, and then presses Tully onto the top rope, but Tully fires back with a knee to the gut. TA unloads on him again, but Tully leverages him into the cage and grabs the mic for the first time, but Magnum fights him off and then runs him into the cage via a hammerlock. Then it gets nasty, as Tully's arm is cut and Magnum rips at the gash and shoves the mic in his face. Tully answers by headbutting him in the nuts. Magnum bites on the bloodied arm, but Tully goes to the eyes and hits him low again, as it's just a visceral street fight. Then the most memorable part of the match, as the ugliness comes out with Tully yelling at him to submit and then hitting him with the microphone, giving us the great "Say it! NOOOO! *THUNK*" sequence that defines the match. Tully goes up and hits him with an elbow, then continues punishing him with the mic (THUNK!), as you can just feel the desperation and hatred from both guys. Magnum fires back again and Tully won't quit either, so Magnum jams the microphone into his forehead and the match is getting so ugly and hateful that it must have been pretty uncomfortable to watch live. They slug it out from their knees and Tully puts him down with the microphone again ("Noooo!" THUNK!), and just tosses the ref aside because he's so pissed off and frustrated. Baby Doll tosses a wooden chair in and Tully breaks off a piece of leg, trying to spike Magnum in the eye with it in a spot that has the crowd freaking out like nothing I'd ever heard before then. And then Magnum fights him off and RAMS THE SPIKE INTO HIS EYE, drawing the submission and US title at 14:39. Tully, bloodied and cowering and on the verge of tears while TA stands triumphant but disgusted with himself for letting it go that far, is wrestling's version of Shakespeare. Yeah, some of the specific spots became almost cliché in the years after, but this one did it first in a major match setting (instead of a freakshow like The Sheik or Mark Lewin) and used the gory spots to pay off drama instead of popping a crowd by mere bloodlust. One of my favorite matches EVER. *****

And of course…

#1: WCW World title: Vader v. Ric Flair

So much going on here at Starrcade '93, as Sid Vicious was supposed to get this shot and then went and stabbed Arn Anderson with a pair of scissors, thus ending his own career for a good three years, and leaving WCW with no main event. So Flair stepped in yet again and put his career on the line in his hometown and saved the day again. For me, I never bought into it because the finish was so obvious and predictable and I could hardly even bear to watch WCW anyway. Plus they pissed away any goodwill this earned when they turned Flair heel yet again six months later so he could be Hogan's job guy. Vader overpowers Flair to start and then easily wins a test of strength, cranking on the arm as a result and clotheslining him down. He beats Flair down and press-slams him, then chases him to the floor and presses him onto the railing this time. Flair fights back, but Race hits him with a cheapshot and Flair is back on defense again. Vader suplexes him back in and pounds away on the apron, as Flair is clearly overwhelmed and without a gameplan, and Vader suplexes him back in again and pounds away in the corner. We get a Flair Flip and he hits the floor off that, and back in Vader just unloads with a scary stiff shot and a super-hard clothesline. I like how the announcers are communicating the story, which is that Flair is normally a cerebral wrestler and he's just not able to collect his thoughts here because Vader simply won't let up.

Vader powerslams him for two and goes up, coming down with another stiff clothesline. He goes up to finish with a big splash, but Flair finally moves and regroups, going up with a flying elbow and firing away with chops. Another trip to the top and another elbow puts Vader down, and he follows with the kneedrop, but Vader clotheslines him down again. They head up and Vader brings him down with a superplex, then follows with an elbow. He misses a splash, but Flair tries an ill-advised charge and Vader wallops him again. Vader casually dumps him and allows Race to get another shot in. Back in, Vader misses the corner splash and Flair fights back again, but Vader keeps coming and gets his splash. Flair has had enough, however, and just beats the hell out of Vader until he goes down, then wraps the leg around the post and rams a chair into it, finally getting back to his own gameplan again. Race keeps protesting to the ref and Flair keeps cheating, putting Vader down with the chair to finally buy himself some time to breathe.

Back in, Flair unloads with everything and works on the leg, but can't get the figure-four because Vader is just too powerful. Vader stomps him down and follows with the pump splash, but it misses and this time Flair gets the figure-four. Vader makes the ropes and Race distracts Flair long enough to miss a blind charge, allowing Vader to drop another elbow and take over again. He fires away on the mat and goes up to finish with the moonsault, but it misses and Flair gets two. Race comes in with a diving headbutt and hits Vader by mistake, and Flair gets a fluke rollup for the pin and the title at 21:13. That finish was majorly messed up and really hurt the match, I think, because there was no real payoff for the buildup. Still, fabulous stuff, a great fight, and I daresay that the character played by Vader here is the one that Brock Lesnar is channeling today as UFC champion. ****1/4 Flair's title reign ended up meaning nothing, unfortunately.

So there you go. I definitely disagree with about 10 of the choices here because they were clearly voted in on name value alone, but when the DVD comes out it's pretty much a must buy given the caliber of matches you're getting here and the rarity of them to boot.

Now hopefully the Essential Wrestlemania is next.