Hey Scott,

I had a quick question about the Yokozuna/Hogan title match from King of the Ring 1993 and wanted to get your opinion on it. Opinion says that Vince was finally sick of Hogan's crap and decided to take the belt off of him by having him drop it to Yokozuna. But instead of a legitimate squash, a protective finish for Hogan was booked where that cameraman (who only appeared once and was never explained, to my knowledge) blinded Hogan and allowed Yokozuna to get the victory.

Why didn't Vince bury Hogan instead of booking this type of finish? Was this the only way Hogan would agree to drop the belt to Yokozuna? Or was Vince still open to the idea of Hogan returning, perhaps half a year or a year later, and wanted to protect that potential investment while still taking the belt off of him?

Great work as always.

I don’t know that I’d call it much of a protected finish.  Yokozuna beat the shit out of him and pinned him with his own finisher.  There really wasn’t much more he could have done to make it definitive. 

From The Spectrum in Philadelphia, PA on August 27, 1990

Hosted by Vince McMahon and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper

Lots of strange things on this card – first of all it’s the third completely different broadcast team in three years. It was also squash city as 7 of the card’s 10 matches lasted six minutes or less. Also Shane Douglas wrestled in one of the dark matches on the card.

Anyway I think this is also the first advertised double main event in WWF Pay-Per-View history.

Grudge Match: Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Hogan is making his return after a couple of months as they wrote in an injury storyline between him and Earthquake. His real reason for leaving – he and his wife were celebrating the birth of their son Nicholas in July of 1990.

Hogan has the Big Boss Man in his corner while Earthquake has Dino Bravo (and Jimmy Hart in his corner)….sadly the Undertaker wasn’t involved in the match to add to the surrealism. I also must say that Boss Man’s pop was almost as big as Hogan’s. Seriously, people dug Ray Traylor.

They start out and Hogan tries a couple of strength moves to no avail and Earthquake tries the same thing with much more success. After a short conference with Boss Man, Hogan goes with a new strategy and pulls out the eye rake but a slam attempt is foiled and Earthquake pounds on the back. He misses a charge, however, and Hogan hits two clotheslines and the wind up fist finally puts Earthquake down. Hogan and Boss Man go to work on the heels. A double boot for Bravo and a second one for Earthquake. The referee tries to get control of things and the confusion allows the heels to get a cheap double team on Hogan. Earthquake hits the big elbow for a near fall. Earthquake is climbing to the top rope and comes down with the forearm on the back. Tenta was way more athletic than most big men during that time but he was about 10-15 years too early to take advantage of that. Earthquake stomps on Hogan’s hands and slaps on a boston crab but Hogan reaches for the rope. Hogan goes to the outside where Bravo starts roughing him up some more. Back in the ring, bodyslam by Earthquake but his misses the big elbow. Hogan goes for the bodyslam but Earthquake shifts his weight and comes down on Hogan for two. Bearhug time but Hogan fights out of it. Two shoulder blocks and the Earthquake is reeling but a high cross body is countered into a powerslam. Earthquake goes for the arrogant cover and gets two. It’s butt splash time and the Earthquake hits it once and a second time at super duper strength but Hogan emphatically kicks out of that one. I wish this happened in video games because sometimes my husband is a real ass and will hit his finisher multiple times instead of just making the pin. It would be great if such excessive violence allowed the receiving character to get super strength and just power out of the pinfall attempt. Meanwhile, silly Earthquake obviously hasn’t seen a Hogan match before or he would have known that once is enough. No sell time and now Hulk is really pissed. Big boot and the body slam. Hogan drops the big leg and all chaos breaks loose. Jimmy Hart tries to interfere and that backfires. They go to the floor, Hart accidentally hits Earthquake with the megaphone and Hulk slams Earthquake on a table (He’s Hardcore!) and gets the countout victory. Post match sees Earthquake attack Hogan but Boss Man tries to make the save with the chair. Hits Bravo with it and hits Earthquake with it (legitimately I think) three times to complete no-sells. So Boss Man drops the chair and grabs his baton at which time they all run like hell. I don’t understand why the baton put any more fear in them than the chair.

(Hogan def. Earthquake, countout, **1/4, this is on the good end of Hogan vs. unstoppable monster formula matches as Tenta was up for the challenge.)

More main event matches to go.

WWF Championship Match in a Steel Cage: Rick Rude vs. The Ultimate Warrior

First the good news, Rude has gotten rid of their awful perm-fro and went with a much more attractive close crop hairstyle.

We get started right away as Rude meets Warrior at the top of the cage and loses a fistfight. Warrior enters the cage with a top-rope double axe and he sends Rude right into the cage. And again. And a third time. I’m pretty sure Rude bladed in between and the second and third trips to the cage. Or maybe the fourth trip. Warrior goes for something but Rude moves and Warrior eats steel. Rude quickly goes for the escape but Warrior catches up to him. Rude comes off the top with a forearm and sends Warrior into the cage. Toe-to-toe in the center of the ring and Rude knocks Warrior off his feet again. Rude aggressively sends Warrior in the cage that time. That looked pretty nasty. Rude continues pounding away as Warrior tries to fight back. A rake of the face stops that and he rubs Warrior’s head in the cage. Rude wins another slugfest and goes for the Rude Awakening but Warrior separates his hands and drops Rude with a clothesline but the splash is countered by the knees. Rude Awakening take two hits flush this time. It’s worth noting that Rude could have covered Warrior because it’s allowed but instead he climbs to the top of the cage and comes down with another high chop. Heenan is screaming at Rude to get out of the cage but Rude goes to the top of the cage again and doesn’t find as much success this time around as Warrior counters with a punch to the stomach. Warrior inches his way to the door but Heenan slams it on his face. Rude covers for two. But both guys knock heads and fall down. Rude inches to the door but Warrior pulls him back in (with the obligatory ass shot). Warrior pulls both Rude and Heenan in the cage. A knockout punch for Heenan and an atomic drop ends the night for the Brain. Still it helps Rude recover to get the clothesline. It’s not enough, however, as Warrior goes into no-sell mode. One, two, three clotheslines and the press slam. Warrior scales the cage and retains the title.

(Warrior def. Rude, escape route, **, not much to see here, nowhere near as good as their other two PPV encounters.)

From The Meadowlands Arena in East Rutherford, N.J.

Hosted by Tony Schiavone and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

Grudge Tag Match: Randy Savage & Zeus vs. Brutus Beefcake & Hulk Hogan

Where do we start with the backstory on this one? I mean the Hogan-Zeus issue was generally there to plug the No Holds Barred movie. Beefcake and Savage started a week after Savage chose Sherri to be his manager. For some reason Beefcake didn’t like this and ripped him on Brother Love’s show and coined the “Scary Sherri” name. Savage and Sherri attacked him (rightfully so) and cut his hair. Anyway, the feud carried through a Saturday Night’s Main Event that featured a decent Savage-Beefcake match and had some more Hogan/Zeus encounters. Here’s my question: Did Zeus ever get an actual title shot? I mean the match couldn’t have lasted more than 5-6 minutes, but I’m curious.

Before the match starts Hogan throws in an extra jab on the heels by introducing Elizabeth to be in his corner.

All four men start off the match. Beefcake takes out Savage but Zeus no sells everything Hogan does and well he’s an awful wrestler so he holds Hogan until Savage hits a double axe. Bodyslam by Savage and a second double axe from the top. High knee to the back sends Hogan to the buckle and Savage hits his flying clothesline as Hogan bounces off. Great chain wrestling. Savage with the chinlock but Hogan fights back, a couple of elbows and a shoulder drops Savage but Zeus nails Hogan from outside the ring. Tag to Zeus and he gets Hogan in the bearhug again. Zeus is absolutely atrocious. He’s like Erik Watts x 100. After a couple of minutes Zeus takes Hogan down to the canvas but Hulk powers out, Zeus just no sells the punches and tags Savage. Top rope leverage clothesline for Hogan and a spittoon for Beefcake. Back suplex by Savage gets two but Savage misses the middle rope splash and an elbow. Hot tag to Beefcake. Big clothesline and the high knee from Beefcake gets two. Sleeper by Beefcake in the center of the ring and Savage goes down to a knee before using the turnbuckle to escape. Tag to Zeus and Beefcake goes to the eyes and gets Zeus in a sleeper. Savage gets the ref to monitor Hogan and he wallops Beefcake with Sherri’s purse for two. Beefcake is selling the purse shot like he’s dead so Savage goes after Elizabeth. Savage runs back in the ring but Hogan interrupts the pinfall. Tag to Zeus and he performs his other move – a choke. Literally he does four different chokes and screams a lot. Tiny Lister – funny actor at times but an awful wrestler. Zeus does perform a move sort of – a hanging clothesline with the body slam. Tags in Savage and a double clothesline puts both men out. Beefcake makes the hot tag and Hogan lays into Savage. Corner elbow and a punch to Zeus gets the refs attention. Big boot to Savage sends him through the ropes. Hogan tries for the suplex to bring Savage by in the ring but Sherri grabs his foot and Savage gets two. Clothesline by Savage and he hits the big elbow but Hogan no sells it. Atomic Drop sends Savage to the floor. Zeus comes in the ring and we’ve got the big showdown. Hogan staggers Zeus with punches and hits him with a clothesline that sends him to his knees. Sherri climbs on the apron and Elizabeth sends him in the ring the hard way. Savage tries to come off the top with the purse but Beefcake shoves him off the ropes. Hogan nails Zeus with the purse, body slam and the big leg drop gets three. Terrible match but the crowd ate it up with a spoon. Post match sees Hogan give Sherri an atomic drop and Elizabeth nails her with the purse. Beefcake gets a sweet bit of revenge but snipping some of Sherri’s weave.

(Hogan/Beefcake def. Savage/Zeus, *1/4, Savage did all of the heavy lifting and even he can’t cover for four men. They had a cage match to blow things off and without looking I’m assuming it wasn’t any better)

BONUS MATCH~!

The Hart Foundation vs. The Brainbusters

For those of you that weren’t around during this time, the Brainbusters were Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard. This is, to my belief, the only televised match between these two teams.

The ‘Busters won the tag championships at the Saturday Night’s Main Event a couple of weeks prior but since this match was signed before they won the belts it’s a non-title affair. At least that’s what Jesse says.

Tully and Bret start things off and Bret hits some quick armdrags and goes to work on the arm. Tully tries to get Bret in the corner but the Hitman is too quick for that. Drop toe hold by Arn but Bret catches him in a hammerlock and drops the knees on the arm. Hammerlock slam by Hart in a *wink wink* moment. I love Bret Hart for subtle shit like that. Tag to the Anvil and he stays on the arm and the Harts start using teamwork. Tag to Bret and a leg drop on the arm. Bret roughs up Arn in the corner and another tag to Anvil and they stay on the arm. Arn tries to make the tag but the Harts on him, tag to Bret and a hip toss. Finally Arn escapes and makes the tag. Tully goes for a cheap shot and Bret catches him, Anvil tags in and takes control. Tully breaks the armbar and tries a hip toss on Anvil but he’s not strong enough to make that happen. Tag to Bret and they continue working on the arm as Jesse and Tony bicker. Tully tries to chop his way out of the armbar but Anvil no sells it and sends Tully into the corner. Tag to Bret and he drops an elbow on Tully’s head and we’re back to the hammerlock. If it’s not a hammerlock it’s an armbar. New Jersey fans think Bobby Heenan is a weasel. Tully and Bret grapple over a hammerlock, doing some cool stuff. Tully takes Bret to the canvas but Bret bridges up. The Busters trick the referee and try to cheat but Hart sends them both out of the ring. Tully in the ring but Bret knocks him out of the ring. Bret chases Tully and gets caught on the blind tag as Arn clotheslines him in the back of the head. He goes for the springboard splash and hits knees, however. All four men in the ring and the Harts clean house. Bret pulls Tully back in the ring and takes him down with a double leg, a stomp to the mid section follows. Bret sends Tully into Anvil’s boot and another tag was made. Tully goes for a reverse high cross body but Anvil catches him and pounds in the corner. All four men in the ring again and Arn saves Tully from a double team shoulderblock and Anvil is your bearded face in peril. The ‘Busters go to work on the shoulders and Blanchard goes to a camel clutch of sorts, Anvil powers out but Tully makes the tag before Anvil can execute a move. Arn nails Anvil with a forearm to the stomach that gets two. Arn rams Neidhart into Tully’s knee and the double teaming in the corner commences. ‘Busters making all kinds quick tags but Anvil ducks a blow and knocks heads with Arn. Both guys are down. Arn is up first and cuts off Anvil rather than make the own tag. Bret catches Arn with a cheap shot from the outside and both men are down again. Arn makes the tag but Anvil gets the hot tag to Bret. The Hitman handles both men with bodyslams and clotheslines. Standing dropkick on Arn, bodyslam to Tully and the middle rope elbow. Vertical suplex and a beauty gets two when Arn breaks the count. All four men in the ring and Bret clotheslines Tully while Neidhart sends Arn to the floor. In the ring Hart with an inverted atomic drop on Tully. Neidhart sends Arn to the post. Slingshot shoulder block by the Harts hits flush on Tully. The double team power slam has Tully ripe for a pin but Heenan distracts the referee long enough for Arn to hit Hart unexpectedly with the double axe from the middle rope and he makes the cover for the pin.

(Brainbusters def. Hart Foundation, pin, ***3/4, very good formula tag match with two teams right in the prime of their careers tagging together.)

Anyway I found a guy at my gym, name will be withheld, that worked for the WWF during a bit of this period and we were chatting on the stair master when I asked him some questions about the Hogan-Savage relationship.

Q: What’s the deal with Savage and Hogan? Everyone’s got rumors but no one seems to know the truth.

A: Well Savage is a little bit out there. He’s one of those guys…he lives what he does literally. They were like a couple you knew in junior high school. They were together, they were apart, they were together again. And it never had a rhyme or reason. Right now I heard Savage hates Hulk but that might have changed since I heard it. I know this though, if Hulk wanted to go to bat for Savage to get him into Vince’s good graces he could do it.

Q: That’s odd, why is that?

A: Vince and Hulk seem to have this understanding. They know one couldn’t have gotten it done without the other. Hulk was a big deal but only Vince knew how to make him a worldwide star and Vince could have tried to make anyone a star but Hulk was the only guy that understood marketing and how to get into the Hollywood Circle. He could have used a ton of guys but they would have failed. Hulk had that way of making people love him. He had that charisma, that look, that charm, whatever it is he could sell a flashlight to the sun. Whatever is the problem between Vince and Savage, Hulk could get it squashed.

Q: Ok back to Hogan and Savage, what was the key to their problems?

A: I think it was the steroids bit on that TV show (Arsenio Hall). Like I said Savage lived his stuff. When he was a good guy, he REALLY was a good guy and in his mind the good guy tells the truth. So he goes on TV and admits he’s experimented with steroids. Hulk don’t give a shit about nothing but money. He was all about the image. Selling the toys, the lunchboxes, whatever. If he gets bad press, he stops selling his stuff, he stops selling his stuff he stops making money. So that was an issue. Savage felt like he got sold out. I think someone told him to tell the truth and Hulk was going to tell the truth. But Hulk didn’t and Savage looked stupid. Then there was other stuff like women, money and other stuff. Savage messed up a lot by himself though. He blamed a lot of stuff on Hulk that wasn’t Hulk’s fault.

Q: I know I’m bothering you, but I’m curious. Why does everyone seem to think Hulk is at fault in some way but still take his side?

A: Because Hulk is money. He can get you in with Vince or the other group. He is a guy that’s hated but has no enemies if that makes sense. I mean if I wanted to get back in the business, I could call Hulk and he’d find a spot for me. Maybe as a referee or in the back with the guys helping on TV, he gets you work. Savage can’t do shit for me or anyone else. Hulk has had reality shows and been on regular TV. Savage can’t do that. There’s no guarantee he’d even be a draw any more. Hulk still has options out there to stay in the circle. He got Knobbs front level season tickets to the Rays just with the promise that he’d go to 1 or 2 games a year.

Q: One more thing. I read on the internet that Savage would kill Hulk if he saw him. You believe that?
A: I doubt it. Don’t believe that stuff. Savage has probably forgotten why he’s mad at Hulk and would be cool with him if they caught up. Like I said Hulk can talk his way out of a lot of things.

Nothing too revealing but it was interesting to hear a take of someone who worked in the company for a while. One of the good things about living in Central Florida is that it is the hub of “retired” professional wrestlers.

Anyway this is the first of quite a few matches I will be ranting on so let’s get started.

The Princess Rant for Summerslam Main Events: Summerslam

From Madison Square Garden in New York City

Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon and “Superstar” Billy Graham

Mega Main Event: Mega Powers vs. Mega Bucks

Yes yes, I’ve heard this wasn’t the scheduled main event but with Savage feuding with DiBiase all summer while Andre and Hogan still hadn’t settled their issues, this match made perfect sense. Jesse “The Body” Ventura is the special guest referee. This match is actually before Ted DiBiase’s theme music came out. Bobby Heenan and Virgil and in the corner of the bad guys while Elizabeth is going to keep the Mega Powers together. After Jesse does some weird things to establish control (i.e. changing the tag ropes), we’re ready to go.

Savage convinces Hulk to start things out and the Macho Man runs right into Andre. He escapes damage, however, and DiBiase jumps in. DiBiase wants Hogan and it’s on. DiBiase gets the eye rake but Hulk back with the atomic drop and the faces play ping pong with DiBiase. Big clothesline and a tag to Savage, double elbow smash, double elbow drop. Savage sends DiBiase into the buckle and another tag. Hulk sends DiBiase into the turnbuckle and then Savage’s boot. Another tag. Savage with the double axe form the top and a knee drop gets a two count. Another tag, double boot gets two. Bodyslam by Hulk and three elbow drops. Hogan goes for a cheap shot on Andre but the Giant catches him and cleans house. DiBiase tags in Andre and he lands three butt drops and adds a foot choke (using the ropes of course). Andre rams Hogan’s head into his size 28 shoe. Andre goes for the blatant chokehold but moves it to the that trapezoid weardown hold he loved. Jesse gets distracted so now Andre chokes and tags in DiBiase, the heels are having some fun in there. Big clothesline by DiBiase but a sloppy cover gets two. A knee drop and two fist drops only get two. DiBiase chokes out Hogan and it looks nothing like a chinlock. Hogan, nonetheless fights it to his feet but Dibiase grabs whatever hair he can find on Hogan and sends him back down. Crowd is getting a bit restless. Hogan finally fights out and they hit a double clothesline. Hogan makes the hot tag and cracks DiBiase with an elbow and a back body drop. Savage with the top rope leverage clothesline and hits the big double axe off the top. Crowd is going nuts. Elbow on DiBiase but he misses a blind charge. DiBiase gets sent into the buckle, however. High cross body by Savage gets two but a nasty lariat by DiBiase ends the rally. Tag to Andre and he lays in the power moves with the shoulders and his big ass. Headbutt drops Savage and then he sits right on his head. Fuck man. Another headbutt and a tag to DiBiase. The Million Dollar Man with the beautiful suplex that gets two. Backbreaker by DiBiase but he goes to the middle rope and misses the back elbow that he’s never hit in his life. Savage makes the hot tag and Hogan pounds on DiBiase, big corner clothesline and his own vertical suplex, well done too. Hogan catches Andre with a big clothesline and the crowd goes bananas. Hulk puts the million dollar dream on DiBiase but Savage hits boot when he tries the elbow on Andre. The Giant cleans house of the faces as Jesse lays on the count. Elizabeth jumps on the apron and Jesse lays in the badmouth. Elizabeth stays up on the apron and drops her dress. Jesse’s look is classic and DiBiase is almost having a shit fit. Meanwhile Andre is like “what the fuck man, count them out”. Oh well I guess Andre has fucked enough women not to care. The distraction works as Savage sends Andre over the top with the double axe. Hogan with the bodyslam, big elbow from Savage and the leg drop from Hogan. Jesse needs a little help but even he can count to three.

(Mega Powers def. Mega Bucks, pinfall, ***1/4, you know, theatrics aside, I don’t think this match gets enough credit. It was a hell of a match with a hot crowd and all four men giving a great effort. It was great stuff.)

BONUS MATCH~!

Intercontinental Title Match: The Honky Tonk Man vs. ??

Well the Honky Tonk Man had a scheduled title defense against Brutus Beefcake but Beefcake had an unfortunate run-in with Ron Bass’ spurs and couldn’t make it. The shame of that. Anyway, Honky Tonk Man is the greatest Intercontinental Champions of All Time and he just wants to entertain the loving fans at MSG like only Honky can. Anyway he demands an opponent and he’ll take anyone in the back.

*Cue drum solo*

Intercontinental Title Match: The Honky Tonk Man vs. The Ultimate Warrior

Before I can type this, Warrior hits a big clothesline, a body slam, a shoulder block and the big splash for a three count. Note that Warrior was so in his zone that Honky had to move himself into position for every move to hit. Also Warrior almost took out Howard Finkel as the Fink was trying to hurry his ass out of the ring. Still an awesome moment in time.

(The Ultimate Warrior def. Honky Tonk Man, squash, I don’t rate squashes but this is *****)

-  I hope this doesn't come a day short, but I wanted to at least get the report out there.  Blackhawks are looking real good; a little too good.  Let's cross the line.

-  We start with a Sacrifice recap video.

"10 CARD STUD"

-  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.

-  Tonight we find out the top 10 rankings.  Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff have a huge announcement concerning the main event for tonight.  Plus, Kurt Angle returns to Impact.

-  Out comes Eric Bischoff and his "intern" Ms. Tessmacher.  There is three basic criteria for the rankings:  fan voting, career win-loss record, and TNA win-loss record.  I guarantee a big fuck job goes to some.  Here are your top ten:  10) Samoa Joe (Told ya!), 9)BIG ROB TERRY (Really, Joe is 10 and TERRY is 9?????), Desmond Wolfe (Thought he was #1 in the online poll), 7) The Pope (My personal vote), 6) Abyss (I figured he would get #1), 5) Mr. Anderson (TNA's Stone Cold Steve Austin), 4) Jeff Hardy, 3) AJ Styles, 2) Kurt Angle (No show), ANNNNND number 1, Sting.  He gets a shot at Slammiversary against Rob Van Dam.  Crowd wants a recount.  Me too.  I would have taken TERRY over Sting.  Bischoff says that tonight Sting will see action against Jeff Hardy.  Sting questions if Bischoff thinks he won't do the same thing to Jeff Hardy that he did to Jeff Jarrett.  If TNA wanted change, he will give it to them.  He crushes 3 signs in the ring with a bat.  Then he belts Bischoff in the gut and knee.  In comes Abyss and he gets tossed for his troubles.  In comes Jeff Hardy and he takes the bat from Sting.  He drops it and says he wants to go now.  Sting kicks him low.  Out comes Rob van Dam.  Hardy clips Sting in the leg and Twist of Fate on Sting.  Hardy heads up top and Sting bails, rather quickly.

-  Back on TNA and we see what happened before the break.  Bischoff is hurt in the back and Matt Morgan walks in.  He wants a rematch.  Hogan said he can have a rematch and to go find a partner.

1.  Roxxi vs.  Madison Rayne
-  We see footage from New Year's Eve where Roxxi broke her ankle.  Then footage from Sacrifice where Tara is done with TNA.  Bell rings and Roxxi hits a hip toss and tries to cover.  A second and no count.  Roxxi grabs an armbar.  Madison whipped into the corner and splash by Roxxi.  Roxxi goes for a boot and gets wrapped up in the ropes.  Madison with a charging knee and covers for 1.  Rights exchanged and Madison mounts with a chinlock.  Madison rakes the eyes.  another cover gets 2.  Madison chokes Roxxi over the rope.  Roxxi tries to kick Madison and Madison drops her with another kick.  Charging boot by Madison and cover gets 2.  Roxxi off the ropes, reverses holds on for the VOODOO DROP on Madison for the win @ 2:41.  (Short match, but a nice non-title win.  C-.)

-  In the back, Desmond Wolfe is talking to Chelsea and she is not happy about being property of Abyss for 30 days.  Desmond is more worried about flying solo for 30 days.  In the back, Kurt angle makes his way out and has no comments for the camera man.

-  Back on TNA and we see a very good video showing the TNA career of Kurt Angle.  Angle comes out and the crowd goes banana, as Santino would say.  Angle has noticed a lot of changes in TNA.  Angle says he is no longer as one of the elite.  Angle says it is not about money or ego.  He would wrestle for free.  He has come at a crossroads in his life.  He has done everything there has been done in wrestling.  What can he do to reinvent himself?  Take himself out of the top ten and wrestle all of the top ten in five star matches.

-  In the back we have Christy Hemme standing by with Beer Money and Ric Flair.  Flair weraing a less than flattering shirt under his coat.  Flair says not to mention his name in the same sentence as any other wrestling.  He doesn't like Jay Lethal interfering in AJ's match.  He calls Beer Money, TNA's muscle.  He makes Hemme feel up Beer Money.  In walks Kazarian and we wants to talk to Flair.  Flair says it is OK.  Flair asks Hemme is it true she got married without living "the Legend"?  Hemme ends the interview.  HA!

-  Back on TNA and we see ROB TERRY talking about wrestling through pain.  Which leads us to...

2.  Orlando Jordan vs.  ROB TERRY
-  Jordan prances around the ring.  TERRY limps his way to the ring and JB actually does pretty good ring announcing.  Jordan gets caught staring at TERRY's bulge.  Jordan attacks before the bell and TERRY fights off OJ.  TERRY with a huge clothesline and OJ has trouble getting up.  OJ goes after the leg and TERRY pushes him back to the corner.  Earl Hebner gets pushed down trying to break the action up, and OJ gets BAAAAAAAAAACK body dropped.    Short arm clothesline by TERRY and cover gets 2.  OJ clips the knee of TERRY.  OJ works over the knee and tears off the bandage on TERRY's knee.  He grabs the knee and snaps back on it twice.  OJ with a leg lace on TERRY.  Referee stops the match @ 2:58. (Match kind of predicted itself with the set up and non title rule and all.  D+.)  I am kind of waiting for OJ to break out in a rendition of "Wishing Well" one day.  Referees are trying to separate OJ from TERRY's leg.

-  In the back, Jay Lethal talks about his troubles with Ric Flair.  Take away Black Machismo, and you got just another guy in TNA.  RVD busts in on the interview and says he will be Lethal's partner tonight.  Lethal is excited.

-  Backstage, Jeff Hardy puts lipstick on his face and talks about idolizing Sting.  Now we see Jesse Neal bust into Team 3D's locker room.  Brother ray says it was an attitude adjustment.  Neal says he is jealous.  Then we have to hear AAAAAAAAAAAAALL of Team 3D's titles.  Brother Ray swings at Neal and Shannon Moore has to remove him from the locker room.

3.  Beer Money, Incorporated vs.  Jay Lethal & Rob Van Dam
-  No pop for Lethal.  Robert Roode attacks Jay Lethal before the bell.  Lethal comes back with chops and then a big hiptoss.  Dropkick to the face of Roode.  Lethal backdropped and hops to the apron.  Lethal heads up and James Storm tosses Lethal off the top.  Storm in and works over the legs of Lethal.  Big time clothesline turns Lethal inside out.  Cover gets 2.  Roode tags in.  Double BAAAAAAAAACK body drop on Lethal.  Storm back in and misses a clothesline.  Handspring back elbow by Lethal.  Double tags.  RVD is a house of fire.  Back spin kick on Storm.  Roode interrupts the step over kick.  RVD fights out andf hits the top rope dropkick on Roode.  Storm interrupts the cover.  Lethal makes a blind tag,.  Lethal Combination on Roode.  RVD with the Rolling Thunder and suicide dive on Storm.  FIGURE FOUR on Roode will finish it @ 3:56.  (Match was OK.  RVD worked very slowly in this one.  C-.)  Flair comes out in another belly shirt and exchanges chop with Lethal until they battle to the back.  RVD high fives the fans until Sting attacks him from the crowd with a chair.  Sting walks off and heads up the ramp.  He throws the chair at RVD and walks off.

-  Back on Impact and we now review all of Sting's actions from Hour One.  Now we go back to Jeff Hardy, who is in the ring.  Hardy cuts a promo of the same thing he just said in the interview he cut earlier.  He DARES Sting to figure out his mind in the next hour.  Just an hour?

-  WAIT WAIT, something is going on in the back!!!  TNA Security have asked Chelsea to come out of her dressing room to accompany Abyss!!!  Oh dear lord!

-  Out comes the monster, Abyss, to the ring.  He says Desmond Wolfe has someone he owes him.  TNA Security bring her out to the ring by her arms.  Desmond Wolfe follows.  Abyss says he made Desmond his bitch.  Then he said tonight he is taking Desmond's.  Wolfe is not flapped up at all.  Wolfe says it ain't happening.  He says she is going with Abyss over his dead body.  He kicks Abyss in the nuts and then beats up TNA Security.  He then takes a glass bottle out of Chelsea's handbag and shatters it on the ringpost.  He lunges forward at Abyss with the bottle and then cuts Abyss on the arm.  Chelsea feels remorse and tries to stop Wolfe.  He turns around to fall into a Blackhole Slam.  Abyss gives her the "YOU" and takes off with her on his shoulder.

-  Back on TNA and the Band is in the ring.  Eric Young has the mic.  He says that Hall and Nash are the only two people in this business that he has anything in common with.  He calls Kevin Nash an ass kicker.  Umm, no.  He says the Band is not there to play tunes.  Somehow this leads to...

4.  Eric Young vs.  Shannon Moore
-  Young jumps Moore before the bell.  Young misses a charge and then eats two hiptosses and a dropkick.  Legdrop on the torso gets 2.  Young turns the tables in the corner and Moore jumps off a corner whip into a cross body for 2.  Young off the ropes and hits a running forearm.  Cover gets 2.  Young with a scoop slam.  Young on the 2ND rope and hits an elbow drop and gets 2.  Young chokes Moore on the ropes.  Nash goes to hit Moore with the Tag Title but Earl Hebner catches him.  Young back in the ring, ties up Moore in an armbar.  Moore gets free and rides out a bulldog.  Moore with a couple of dropkicks and spin kick.  Young runs into an elbow and Moore hit the Whisper ion the Wind on Young and gets 2.  Here comes Brother Ray to the ring.  Jesse Neal attacks him.  Moore off the ropes and Scott Hall hits Moore with the title belt.  SPIKE PILEDRIVER by Young on Moore will finish it @ 3:41.  (D+.  Typical Moore match. )  Brother Ray ain't done.  He boots Jesse Neal in the back of the head while he was checking on Moore.  He slaps the shit out of Neal.  Brother D-Von pulls Ray out of the ring.

-  Now we review the Team 3D-Jesse Neal saga.  Now due to Kurt angle relinquishing his top ten spot, we now have an X Division battle Royal for his spot in the rankings.   So...

5.  X DIVISION BATTLE ROYAL FOR KURT ANGLE'S SPOT IN THE TOP TEN RANKINGS
-  Your participants are:  Homicide, Amazing Red, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, Kazarian, Jeremy Buck, Max Buck & Brian Kendrick.  Kazarian dumps Red @ 0:37.  Generation Me with a double dropkick on Chris Sabin sends him through the ropes and off the ramp.  Alex Shelley dropkicks Max Buck off the apron for an elimination @ 1:05.  Jeremy Buck dropkicks Alex Shelley off the apron eliminating him @ 1:21.  Chris Sabin follows and clotheslines Jeremy Buck over the top rope eliminating him @ 1:27.  Down to three:  Kazarian, Sabin, and Homicide.  Sabin tries to sunset flip off the apron back in the ring, but Kazarian dropkicks him off the apron @ 1:59.  Kendrick is in the match, but I haven't seen him yet.  Speak of the devil, he jumps in the ring and dumps Homicide over the top rope @ 2:16.  Kazarian back drops on Kendrick.  Kendrick up and tosses Kaz, but Kaz on the apron.  Kaz springs back in with an elbow and dumps Kendrick for the win @ 2:50.  (SHORT. BATTLE ROYAL.  EVER!  DUD.)  Ric Flair stands on the apron and applauds Kazarian.    Kazarian is now number 10 in the top ten rankings.

MAIN EVENT
6.  Sting vs. Jeff Hardy
- Feature Time, as Gorilla Monsoon used to say.  Hardy takes off his pantyhose on the mouth and gives to a kid in the crowd.  Unsanitary.  Bell rings and crowd is divided.  Sting does give a clean break and lands several "Sting-type shots".  Hardy fights back and drops Sting.  Sting bails out of the ring.  Sting walks around the ring and Hardy dropkicks Sting through the ropes.  Hardy misses a suicide dive on the outside.  Sting cracks Hardy's leg on the ramp.  Sting throws Hardy back in the ring.  Sting kicks Hardy low.  Sting stomps the hands of Hardy and rakes his eyes.  Sting measure Hardy and kicks him in the back of the leg.  Stinger Splash on Hardy.  He goes for a second and misses Hardy.  Hardy with an inverted atomic drop and double legdrop through the legs.  Sting pops up and eats a low dropkick.  Cover gets 2.  Hardy goes up top and misses a Whisper in the Wind.  Sting up and puts on the Scorpion Death Lock.  Hardy crawls to the ropes and breaks the hold.  Sting pulls on Hardy and the referee flies through the ropes.  Sting goes for the Scorpion Death drop and all of a sudden here is Mr. Anderson!  He applies the Scorpion Death drop on Sting?!?  Cover by Hardy gets the win @ 5:30.  (Short main event, but was entertaining.  C+.)

-  Mr. Anderson jumps in the ring and raises Hardy's hand and applauds him.  Hardy shoves Anderson.  Anderson raises his hand for the microphone to drop and Sting blasts him in the back with a bat.  He then drops Hardy.  Show is over.

FINAL THOUGHTS...
-  So the story is "Why Sting Why".  Really I find the whole storyline confusing.  Sting is a heel.  Big deal.  I don't know why I would want to see him face RVD, when RVD beat him in the first night he was in the company in 10 seconds.  Then again, Sting can step up in big match situations.  He did just OK tonight.  Total time of action:  21:36.

written by Adam King

WWF SMACKDOWN
Thursday, January 6th, 2000

Taped (1/4) from the Arena in Orlando, FL

List of WWF Champions at the time:
WWF World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H (1/03/2000)
WWF Intercontinental Co-Champions: Chris Jericho & Chyna (12/30/1999)
WWF World Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws (11/08/1999)
WWF European Champion: Val Venis (12/12/1999)
WWF Hardcore Champion: The Big Bossman (10/14/1999)
WWF Women’s Champion: The Kat (12/12/1999)

~ Smackdown comes on the air with clips of Triple H’s title win on Raw. We then find Stephanie McMahon addressing X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws as Triple H watches nearby. Stephanie says Triple H regaining the WWF Championship was a proud moment in WWF history but Monday wasn’t a proud night for ALL of DX. Stephanie chastises the three of them for failing to defeat The Rock and get him firedm and she does mention Mick Foley’s intruison but still points out they couldn’t beat one person anyway. Stephanie says she and Triple H have a warrant out for Foley’s arrest should he trespass tonight before announcing that she and Triple H have decided to show thier comrades some tough love. Stephanie tells Road Dogg they don’t have any plans for him right now but will later then gives X-Pac a chance to redeem himself, by facing The Big Show. X-Pac complains but Triple H points out he beat Show single-handedly and tells X-Pac he’s good as he is. Stephanie then turns to Billy Gunn and mentions he and Road Dogg saving the Acolytes for the Royal Rumble, but decides to give Billy the chance to soften both of them up tonight, in a handicap match. Billy takes exception but Triple H says they’re not the only ones who are going to sacrifice tonight. Stephanie says tonight Triple H is going to defend the WWF Championship against a random opponent who will be determined by a lottery so it could be anyone, even someone from DX. Stephanie tells Triple H she’s proud of him and Triple H returns those feelings while the Outlaws and X-Pac look less than thrilled.

~ We then finally get the intro, with Michael Cole welcoming us to the show along with Jerry “The King” Lawler.

· The Big Show vs. X-Pac

I’d mention something about Show going from WWF Champion to jerking the curtain in just three days but wasn’t Show already jerking the curtian even as world champion? Show pulls X-Pac out of the ring during his entrance and headbutts him on the floor. Show press slams X-Pac back into the ring and hits another headbutt. Show chops X-Pac in a corner then whips him hard into the opposite corner. Show kicks X-Pac repeatedly in a corner then chokebombs him to the mat and chokes X-Pac with his boot. Show refuses to break before the five count and the referee tries to get Show off of X-Pac but Show shoves him away and that’s a DQ right there. (1:09) Show isn’t happy with that and chokeslams the referee. X-Pac nails Show in the back with a chair but Show is unfazed and punches the chair into X-Pac’s face then follows up with a kneedrop. A swarm or referees try to break it up but Show scares all of them away then shoves the referee out of the ring. Fun just the see X-Pac getting thrown around but otherwise nothing to see here. NR

~ Backstage Chris Jericho and Chyna are bickering about having to team up tonight while The Kat watches nearby. Jericho says teaming with Chyna is a fate worse than death but Chyna says she’s not happy about it either and the two continue to argue as we go to commercial.

~ Back from break we get an exterior shot of the arena and a police officer patroling the area just in case Mick Foley shows up.

~ Chris Jericho is shown walking to the ring with Chyna and The Kat still ranting about the tag match. Jericho suggests to Chyna that she stand on the apron while he does all the work. BTW Jericho is wearing the Intercontinential Title belt both he and Chyna have claim to.

· Chris Jericho & Chyna (w/The Kat) vs. Crash & Hardcore Holly

Jericho and Chyna enter separately and are both billed as ‘Co-Intercontinential Champion’ on the chyron. Jericho and Chyna exchange words when Hardcore attacks Jericho from behind to start the match. Hardcore beats Jericho down and goes for a whip but Jericho hits a flying forearm. Jericho goes for a whip but Hardcore reverses and hits a dropkick. Crash tags in and hammers Jericho in a corner with kicks then whips Jericho into the opposite corner and charges but eats a boot. Crash ducks a clothesline and goes for a huricanrana but Jericho counters it into the Walls of Jericho. Hardcore breaks it up and Jericho reaches for a tag but Chyna turns her back to him. Crash tags in Hardcore and the Hollys whip Jericho but both lower the head and Jericho kicks Hardcore’s face then hits a backbreaker on Crash. Jericho clotheslines Hardcore over the ropes then works over Crash and goes for a whip but Crash reverses and Hardcore pulls down the top rope causing Jericho to tumble out to the floor. Chyna then walks over and helps Jericho up but Jericho shoves her away so Chyna clotheslines him. Chyan rolls Jericho back into the ring and Hardcore hits the Hollycaust for the win. (2:25) Pretty spirited contest for what we got. The Hollys celebrate while Chyna grabs the Intercontinential Title belt and walks off. **

~ We then find the fake Mankind (Mideon) at Universal Studios, scaring away all the children. A man tells him to stay away from the kids so “Mankind” tells him to have a bad day.

~ Back at the arena The Helmsleys are watching this on a monitor thinking it really is Mick Foley. Triple H says he hopes Foley comes to the building and gets arrested and steps out. Tori then comes in saying all the bathrooms are occuiped and asks Stephanie to use her commode. Stephanie says she has no problem with it and Tori jogs into the restroom.

~ The Acolytes are shown walking to the ring for their handicap match as we go to commercial.

~ Back from break Road Dogg is talking to Stephanie wanting to know what his “punishment” is. Stephanie says it’s Triple H’s decision so Road Dogg asks to speak with him. Stephanie claims Triple H is in the bathroom and Road Dogg goes in looking for Triple H but instead finds Tori who screams. Road Dogg yells at Stephanie for not telling him and Stephanie claims she forgot. Road Dogg then storms off while Stephanie just smirks.

· The Acolytes vs. Billy Gunn – Handicap Match

As the Acolytes come out they show their beatdown by the Dudleys and Mean Street Posse on Raw. Billy looks back as if he’s expecting someone before rushing into the ring. The Acolytes pound on Billy to start the match then whip him but miss a double-clothesline. Billy kicks Bradshaw and DDT’s Faarooq then ducks a clothesline and unloads on Bradshaw. Billy goes for a whip but Bradshaw reverses him into a clothesline form Faarooq and The Acolytes take turns getting their shots in and Bradshaw caps off with a right hand. Both Acolytes whip Billy into a double-shoulderblock then Faarooq whips him into a corner. Faarooq whips Bradshaw into Billy but eats a boot and Billy clotheslines Faarooq. Bradshaw manages to connect with the Clothesline from Hades and Faarooq follows up with a headbutt. The Acolytes hit a double-neckbreaker when Road Dogg runs in and clips Bradshaw for the DQ. (2:03) Road Dogg hits the juke ‘n jive punches on Faarooq but Faarooq interups with a spinebuster. Faarooq then throws Road Dogg to the floor and the Acolytes brawl with the Outlaws through the crowd. Just there to build up the only-announced match for the pay-per-view thus far. ½

~ Back in the dressing room we find Kane standing over the Helmsleys as they watch the action on a monitor. Triple H and Stephanie talk about having a great tag team title match at the Royal Rumble until Kane gets their attention by shoving a vase of flowers aside. Kane demands a match with Road Dogg and Triple H doesn’t know what’s up but Stephanie is only too happy to give Kane his match. Kane storms off and Triple H still doesn’t know Kane’s issue with Road Dogg.

~ We then see more cops patroling the grounds for Mick Foley as we go to commerical.

~ Back from break Road Dogg is conversing with Triple H and Stephanie, having escaped from the Acolytes. Triple H warns Road Dogg that if Billy Gunn interferes in his match he’ll be let go. Road Dogg doesn’t understand he has a match until Triple H informs him he has Kane right now. Road Doog flips out and yells at Stephanie for telling Kane but Triple H tells him to back off. After Road Dogg leaves Triple H asks Stephanie what that was about but Stephanie again plays dumb.

· Kane (w/Tori) vs. Road Dogg

Road Dogg comes out doing his spiel but Kane attacks him on the ramp and rams him into the steps. Kane rams Road Dogg into the barricade then beats on him before dropping him onto the barricade. Road Dogg rolls into the ring and attacks Kane as he climbs in but his punches have no effect. Kane throws Road Dogg into a corner and pummels him, capping off with an uppercut, then stomps him down and chokes him on the mat. Kane drapes Road Dogg on the apron and clubs him in the chest twice. Kane rams Road Dogg into another corner and rakes the eyes then beats him down and chokes on the top rope before hitting a suplex. Kane whips Road Dogg into an elbow then slams him to the mat and hits a legdrop. Kane whips Road Dogg but lowers the head and Road Dogg kicks him in the face but Kane shrugs it off. Road Dogg ducks a right hand and gets in some shots then goes for a whip but Kane reverses and hits a boot. Kane climbs to the top rope and connects with the flying clothesline as X-Pac comes out to ringside but Kane goes out and stalks him back up the ramp. However this allows Road Dogg to hit a low blow followed by a DDT on the ramp. Road Dogg rams Kane into the apron then rolls him back into the ring. Road Dogg hits the juke ‘n’ jive punches followed by the big right but Kane doesn’t go down. Road Dogg them comes off the ropes with a forearm and that does take Kane off his feet. Road Dogg goes for the shake, rattle ‘n kneedrop but misses itwhen Kane sits up. Kane hits the chokeslam followed by the Tombstone for the pin. (5:07) Road Dogg got in some offense but this was still a total squash. ½*

~ Backstage The Rock is pacing around in his ring gear apparently ready for action against someone, and the announcers are wondering who will be his opponent tonight. Back in the DX dressing room Stephanie asks Triple H that same question as they watch the monitor. Triple H says the Rock has a special opponent tonight: the (until-now) undefeated Kurt Angle. Stephanie seems less than thrilled while Triple H feels this is where the streak will end.

~ We cut back to Universal Studios and find “Mankind” on a water ride. “Mankind” rants to the tourists that he was hardcore and didn’t fear anything until Triple H fired him. Once the Jaws shark pops up out of the water “Mankind” nearly has a heart attack. After they pass by it “Mankind” says he doesn’t have to be scared about that anymore.

~ A promo is showin hyping the WWF New York restaurant in Times Square which was (at the time) opening soon.

~ Back from break The Rock comes out to the ring and gets on the mic doing his “Finally..” bit. Rock talks about how Triple H threw every member of his crew at him on Raw but he still came out on top and says this is the millenium of the Rock and he is the people’s champion. Rock then finishes with his “If you smell…” line when Kurt Angle comes out to the stage with his own mic. Angle talks about being an Olympic champion, an American hero and a representitive of this great nation. Angle mentions how he did battle in the Olympics and came out a winner and how he’s undefeated in the WWF thanks to his three I’s, so he feels HE should be the People’s champion. Angle scoffs at the notion that the fans prefer a “GQ, smooth talkin’ smart aleck” over him. As Angle climbs into the ring Rock gets back on the mic to respond to his comments. Rock tells Angle he did something he should never have done, and that’s annoy The Rock. Rock says Angle is an American hero then points out Angle’s gold medals. Rock then goes into a lenghty diatribe on what Angle should do with his medals (yes it’s that). Angle rushes Rock and we finally get to the match.

· The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

I do believe this is the first-ever meeting between these future rivals. Rock sidesteps Angle and tees off on him then whips him into a corner and hits a clothesline. Rock whips Angle but Angle and bails out of the ring and starts walking out of the match. Angle makes his way up the ramp but Rock goes out and clotheslines him then goes for a suplex but Angle counters into his own suplex onto the ramp. Angle pops Rock back to ringside and rams his head into the ringsteps then heads back into the ring and tanuts the fans while Rock rolls in. Rock goes for a whip but Angle reverses and hits a belly-to-belly suplex for a two count. Angle pops Rock and stomps him down in a corner before choking him with his boot. Rock starts to fight back and goes for a whip, Angle reverses but lowers the head and Rock hits a neckbreaker for a near fall. Angle hits a back suplex and goes for a whip but Rock counters into a DDT for a two count. Rock hits the Smackdown in a corner then follows up with a Samoan Drop for another near fall. Steve Blackman runs out to the apron with a kendo stick in hand but Rock pops him back off. Rock sets Angle up for a Rock Bottom when Blackman hops onto the apron again. So Rock brings Blackman into the ring then grabs the kendo stick and clocks Blackman with it. Rock then turns and nails Angle with the stick but causes a DQ and as a result Angle wins again. (3:07) Rock argues with the referee before laying out Blackman with a Rock Bottom. Rock starts to leave when he sees Angle celebrating his apparent victory in the ring. So Rock heads back in and plants Angle with a spinebuster followed by the People’s Elbow. The pre-match promo battle was longer than the match itself. Still a fun match for what we got that sowed the seeds for the more epic battles between these two. **½

~ Backstage we find Triple H and Stephanie still watching the action on the monitor and Stephanie feels Angle is still undefeated since Rock got DQ’ed, much to Triple H’s frustration.

~ We then get a shot of a spinning tumbler continaing the names of Triple H’s potential opponents. Outside we also find the cops still patroling for some sign of Mick Foley as we go to commercial.

· Edge, Chrisitan & Jeff Hardy (w/Matt Hary & Terri) vs. The Dudley Boyz & Al Snow (w/Head)

As Snow comes out they show his attempts to take Jeff out over the past week. Matt also has bandages on the fingers Snow broke during the cage match on Raw. As the Dudleys walk out they talk about the bonus DX gave them: having Snow as a partner. D’Von Dudley and Christian lockup to start and D’Von gets the advantage. D’Von whips Christian but lowers the head and Christian kicks the face before throwing him to the mat. Jeff tags in but Snow comes in without a tag and pounds on Jeff before the Dudleys doble-team him. Bubba goes for a delayed vertical suplex but holds Jeff up too long and Jeff lands on his feet. Jeff tries to whip Bubba but can’t budge him and Bubba whips Jeff into his corner. Jeff manages to knock both D’Von and Snow off the apron but Bubba whips him into a corner again. Jeff tries to lift himself up but Bubba catches Jeff and slings him into a spinebuster. Snow comes in and knocks Edge and Christian off the apron then Snow then helps Bubba set Jeff up while D’Von climbs to the top and connects with the headbutt to the groin. Bubba whips Jeff into a backdrop and follows up with a clothesline then whips Jeff again. Bubba lowers the head and Jeff flips over him and goes for an O’Connor roll but Bubba holds onto the rope. Jeff comes off the ropes with a huricanrana then tags in Edge who takes it to both Dudleys. Snow comes in but Christian cuts him off with a dropkick. Edge and Christian each pound on a Dudley in a corner while Snow stalks Terri on the outside. Matt stands between Terri and Snow while Jeff leaps over the ropes catching Snow with a plancha. In the ring Edge comes off the top but Bubba catches him with a clothesline. Bubba then clubs Christian from behind and sets him up while D’Von readies for the 3D but before they can hit their move Edge spears D’Von and Christian flips out of a suplex into a Slop Drop. Edge hits the Downard Spiral on D’Von and gets the pin while Christian keeps Bubba from making the save. (3:08) Quite a bit of action crammed into three minutes but way too short for a six-man tag. After the match Jeff leaves with Matt and Terri while Edge & Christian take off through the crowd. Snow then grabs Head and lays out both Dudleys with it while yelling at them for losing. **

~ Back to Universal Studios where we find “Mankind” trying to get into Woody Woodpecker’s Nuthouse Coaster. “Mankind” walks up to the security guard wanting to get on the ride but he is informed the ride is closed. “Mankind” pleads his case and even offers a bribe of a quarter but the guard radios for backup. “Mankind” then tricks the guard and runs away.

~ We then find the police force still waiting for the real Mick Foley to show up as we go to commercial.

· Test vs. The Big Bossman © – Non-Title Non-Hardcore Match

As Test comes out they show the beatings Bossman and Albert have been giving him the past week. Cole says Stephanie is softening Test up for something but never says what. Test is also still wearing the faceguard for his broken nose. Bossman promises no run-ins and even offers a hand but Test kicks it away and starts pounding him. Test goes for a whip but Bossman reverses and catches him into a backbreaker. Bossman chokeslams Test but Test fights back and whips him into an elbow. Test goes for a whip, Bossman reverses but misses a right hand and Test hits a clothesline. Bossman pops Test in the face then ties him in the ropes and removes the faceguard. Prince Albert makes his way to ringside as Bossman frees Test from the ropes. Bossman distracts the referee while Albert pulls Test out of the ring and works him over before choking him on the floor. Bossman goes out and hits a knee to the face then drops him onto the barricade. Bossman throws Test back into the ring and hits a kneedrop while Albert trashtalks him. Bossman applies a forearm across the face and Test fights out of it and whips Bossman into a corner. Test charges and eats an elbow but still manages to connect with a big boot and both men are down. Test goes for a whip and Bossman reverses but Test hits a DDT for a two count. Test shoves Bossman in a corner and hits a forearm but runs into a double boot. Bossman comes out but Test powerslams him before knocking Albert off the apron. Bossman holds Test as Albert comes in with a bicycle kick but Albert misses Test and nails Bossman. Test shoves Albert down and covers Bossman for the pin, finally getting a win in this feud. (4:04) Nothing really memorable here but not the worst match either. Test walks away holding his nose while Bossman yells at Albert for his botched interference. You’d think all this abuse would lead to Test eventually getting his shot at Triple H and Stephanie for but I don’t think it ever happened. *

~ Back in the DX dressing room, Triple H calls Test’s win an upset and Stephanie hopes Triple H doesn’t get upset in his match but Triple H says that ain’t going to happen.

~ We get another shot at the tumbler to decide Triple H’s challenger as we go to commercial.

~ Back from break we find the fake Mankind still at Universal Studios, coming across the “Back to the Future” ride. “Mankind” decides he wants to turn the hands of time back to his first WWF Championship win last year. “Mankind” then changes his mind and wants to go back to March 15, 1982, the last time his wife found him attractive.

~ We get another shot of the cops still waiting outside the arena for Mankind to appear and get arrested.

~ Back in the arena the Mean Street Posse are apparently coming out to the ring for a match. We cut to the DX room where Stephanie asks Triple H what the Posse are doing out there and Triple H says he wanted to reward them by giving them possibly their first tag team win.

· The Mean Street Posse vs. Kaientai – Handicap Match

The Posse attack Taka Michinoku and Sho Funaki at ringside before throwing them into the ring. However Taka gets on the apron and hits an Asai moonsault on all three men. Funaki throws Joey Abs into the ring and both men whip him into a drop toehold. Funaki applies a camel clutch on Abs while Taka dropkicks him in the face. Funaki goes for a whip, Abs reverses him into a corner and charges but eats a double boot. Funaki hops onto the middle rope and hits a flipover into a bulldog. Funaki goes for a whips but Abs reverses and Rodney nails Funaki from the apron. Abs hits a suplex followed by a gutwrench suplex for a two count. Rodney tags in and slams Funaki to the mat before tagging Abs back in. Rodney whips Funaki and flips him up into a sitdown powerbomb (which Cole claims they call The Stock Exchange) from Abs. Abs starts to go for the cover but Pete Gas demands to be tagged in so Abs obliges. Pete hits an inverted full nelson slam (The Gas Mask) but only gets two and Rodney tags in. Rodney hops to the middle rope and goes for a Buff Blockbuster (The High Society) but misses Funaki and hits Pete with it by by accident. Rodney scoops Funkai up but Funaki floats over as Taka climbs to the top rope. Taka hits a missle dropkick that knocks Rodney into a rollup from Funaki for the three! (3:02) Kaientai celebrate while the Posse can’t believe they lost again. Some fun stuff but not much else. *½

~ Back in the DX dressing room Triple H talks about how he gives people a chance and they blow it. Stephanie brings up Triple H’s lottery and they head out to draw his opponent as we go to commercial.

~ We then cut back to Universal Studios to see what the fake Mankind is up to. “Mankind” is getting off a ride a little queasy when he finds the real Mankind waiting for him. Mankind yells at his doppelganger for talking about his wife and family before tearing into him. Mankind throws the imposter around the park and slams him into several objects while ranting about Triple H. Eventually Mankind leaves the fake laying while telling him “Have a nice day.”

~ Back from break we get a replay of Mankind destroying his evil duplicate and also a replay of Rikishi being drawn as Triple H’s challenger.

· WWF World Heavyweight Title: Triple H © vs. Rikishi Phatu

I guess you could say this is Rikishi’s first world title shot in seven years since back in March ‘93 on Raw Rikishi (as Fatu of the Headshrinkers) challenged Bret Hart and lost. Rikishi comes out with Too Cool but asks them to stay back, wanting to do this himself. Stephanie comes out with Triple H but again joins the announcers for commentary. Triple H attacks Rikishi from behind to start and beats him down in a corner but Rikishi fights out of it and drops Triple H with a right hand. Rikishi connects with two more rights then whips Triple H into a backdrop. Triple H rolls out to the floor but Rikishi goes out and rams him into the ringsteps twice then slams Triple H onto the floor and hits a legdrop. Rikishi goes for a whip but Triple H reverses and sends Rikishi into the steps. Triple H rams Rikishi into the steps then into the announce table twice. Triple H rolls Rikishi back into the ring but Rikishi attacks him as he climbs in. Rikishi goes for a whip but Triple H reverses and belts him in the chest as we get a shot of X-Pac and the Outlaws watching the match from the DX dressing room. Triple H goes for a whip, Rikishi reverses but Triple H hits the facebuster for a two count. Triple H comes out of a corner with a clothesline for another two count. Triple H throws Rikishi through the ropes then goes out and rams him into the barricade. Triple H goes for a whip but Rikishi reverses and sends Triple H into the barricade. Rikishi follows up with a clothesline before throwing him back into the ring.

Rikishi whips Triple H into a corner then hits the running butt splash followed by a Samoan Drop but only gets two. Rikishi hits a belly-to-belly suplex and drags Triple H toward the corner then climbs up and hits the Banzai Drop … but that only gets two?! Yes you read that right, Triple H kicked out of the Banzai Drop!! Rikishi sets Triple H up for the sitdown piledriver but Triple H escapes from it and sets up for a Pedigree. Before he can hit it Rikishi counters with a backdrop then connects with a superkick but still can’t get the three. Rikishi goes for the sitdown splash but Triple H avoids it as Stephanie slides a chair into the ring. Stephanie hops on the apron the distract the referee while Triple H clocks Rikishi with the chair. Triple H covers Rikishi as the referee turns back but Rikishi still kicks out! Stephanie passes the title belt to Triple H who clocks Rikishi with it in full view of the refere to get himself DQ’ed and save his title. (7:12) Solid main event that had some good drama and at some points had the crowd believing Rikishi might pull it off until the unfortunate finish. After the bell Rikishi starts getting to his feet so Triple H brings another chair into the ring and clocks Rikishi in the back. However Rikishi again starts getting up so Triple H grabs his belt and bails form the ring. Backstage we find the rest of DX saying they weren’t going to help Triple H this time. Triple H yells at Rikishi as he begins his post-match dance with Too Cool. However the fact remains Triple H is still champion as Smackdown goes off the air. **½

Overall this was a good edition of Smackdown. There was some solid action and some nice angle advancement, including showing some possible dissention in the DX ranks. The main event was good and showed Rikishi could hang with the top stars which would make him a top player for much of 2000. I could have done without Triple H kicking out of the Banzai Drop, though, when everyone else (even Steve Austin) sold it like death. It’s like Hulk Hogan popping right up after a Vader powerbomb. Anyway, still a nicely-done show but the best stuff is just right around the corner.

Hey Scott,

Been reading your board in regards to what everyone blames the death of WCW on, and wanted to connect to the man himself (you) for my thoughts. People like to blame Starcade 97 & the Finger Poke of Doom, and they are right, those things definately killed interest. But isn't just the lousy, arrogent, booking of Nitro the real thing to blame. I mean somewhere in 97 they got very over-confident and began airing never-ending Hogan masturbation promos w/ no real storytelling, just biding their time till Sting vs Hogan. Then in 98 there was some solid (questionable) effort. I mean they took a risk & split up the NWO & began building up Goldberg, with the DDP/Raven feud in the undercard. But then that summer the programming got really bad. The Warrior w/ his magic smoke & mirrors? Jay Leno/NWO Night Cap w/ Bischoff? And then after the poke of doom came the worst of all...The No Limit Soldiers. I mean instead of blaming one stupid incident, shouldn't we just blame it on years of bad TV?

There are a million things you can blame it on.  The years of bad TV certainly contributed as much as anything else, but TV is easy to turn around in a few weeks.  Killing PPV off?  That’s tough to come back from. 

Scott, just got done watching WCW Starrcade 97, and here is my question that I thought might make for good blog discussion.  I have read several times from several people who pinpoint the "fingerpoke of doom" Nitro as the start of the downfall of WCW.  What about Starrcade 97?  I know it did a huge buyrate and made tons of money for the company, but it was also a chance for tons of people to see a truly disasterous PPV.  All the wrong people went over in terrible matches and then came the main event.  How do more people not talk about, or acknowledge how badly Hulk Hogan (or whoever was behind the "fast count" against Sting) screwed over Sting, and therefore WCW????  I mean in one night after a terrible ppv, WCW or Hogan or whoever made Sting, and Bret Hart look like complete and total failures.  Do you think that this PPV should be given more credit for starting a downfall of WCW that it gets???

I certainly give Starrcade its fair share of blame for WCW’s downfall! 

-  Wow, two recaps in one week?  I guess it's the high I am coming off of from Tuesday night's win by Chicago.  I think this team may have a shot.  No, really.  I do.  Let's cross the line.

Scott says:  Suck it, Blackhawks.

-  We start with a video replay of last week's happenings.  Nice focus on the squash main event.  The highlights may have been longer than the actual match.

"THREE TICKETS TO SACRIFICE"
(Eddie Money is not pleased)

-  Tonight on Impact:  Taylor Wilde vs. Tara and we reveal who is leading the polls to be the top contender to RVD's TNA Title. 

-  Out comes Eric Bischoff.  It's been a while since he has been in the squared circle.  He wants you know that he loves each, and every, one of you.  He brings out Rob Van Dam.  Bischoff says that over 500,000 people voted in the poll.  Man, about 16 times that many visit WWE.com every day.  Jeff Hardy is a top vote getter, and so tonight he faces RVD.  Unfortunately, no one can find Jeff.  Bischoff says RVD can have the night off.  RVD says he likes defending the title and doesn't want the night off.  Out comes AJ Styles.  AJ doesn't like RVD saying,' The Whole F'N show".  AJ is a role model.  AJ is in the mood to hurt somebody and RVD DOES want to wrestle tonight.  And seeing how Sacrifice is this Sunday, why not give the main event away for free.  AJ calls RVD a "Cheech and Chong sideshow".  AJ says that tonight he wants to break RVD's legs.  AJ waggles his head like a young Kurt Angle when he gets his points across.  Out comes Jeff Hardy.  If you checked your TV Guide, this is your main event tonight.  Jeff says sorry he is late.  Don't worry, Jeff, we understand.  He can't get it together with what time and day Impact is on.  Neither can I.  AJ tells Jeff Hardy to scram.  Jeff wants a three way.  The way he says it just sounds creepy.  Bischoff books the match.  AJ isn't liking those odds. 

-  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.

-  JB is with the Beautiful People.  Madison faces Tara this Sunday.  Madison says Tara needs to step aside and let Madison shine.  Velvet says she is gonna cleanse the world...Lacey finishes the slug line, because she has to pee. 

1.  Taylor Wilde vs. Tara
- Taylor grabs Tara and mounts her with rights.  Tara bails and Taylor hits a corss body off the apron.  Tara off the ropes and Taylor hits the turning drop kick.  Tara grabs Taylor and dumps her on the ramp.  She tosses Taylor back in over the top rope and misses a slingshot legdrop.  Taylor springs off the middle turnbuckle and Tara catches her with a botched kick to the midsection for the win (?) @ 1:31. (D-.  Garbage.)  Tara takes off her knee brace and hits Taylor in the ribs with it until Sarita makes the save. 

-  Backstage we see Chelsea crying and surround by Security and Desmond Wolfe.  Wolfe wants the cameras out of there. 

-  Christy Hemme informs us that Chelsea alleges she was attacked.  It is funny to hear Wolfe saying he is gonna sue everyone in the background.

2.  Brian Kendrick vs. Douglas Williams
-  Williams has the mic.  He calls Kendrick crazy and a loser.  He hasn't won a single match and doesn't deserve to a title shot.  This is a non-title match.  Kendrick comes out hammering until Williams sends him in and hits a jumping knee in the corner.  Williams hits a running elbow.  Williams drops a knee on Kendrick's face.  Kendrick jumps out of a slam and hits a jumping forearm and gets 2.  Williams slides out and wrenches the knee on the apron.  Williams back in and works the knee into a single leg crab.  Williams lets go when he sees Kaz.  Kendrick rolls him up and gets the win @ 2:12.  (Short match and did nothing to build Williams as a legitimate contender.  D.)

-  Chelsea has named her attacker and Pat Kenney (Simon Diamond) won't tell us who and he can not believe what he just heard. 

3.  Generation Me vs. Matt Morgan
-  Morgan starts with a double clothesline.  He grabs Jeremy for a suplex into a urinage.  Big boot for Max's troubles.  He grabs the mic and warns Hogan to tell him he is not playing around.  He tosses Jeremy out of the ring.  He places his head against the ringpost until....it's SAMOA JOE!  Joe enters and Morgan throws him into the corner.  He misses a boot and Joe hits a high enziguiri.  Joe sets him up...NO WAY!  MUSCLE BUSTER ON MORGAN!  Morgan is left laying and Joe is gone.  Wolfpack music hits and out walks the band with a Feast or Fired case.  No contest @ 1:40.  (DUD)

-Nash is cashing in his case for a Tag team Title shot. So...

TNA TAG TEAM TITLES
4.  Matt Morgan vs. Scott Hall & Kevin Nash
-  Nash stretches and pins Morgan @ 0:09 to become the new TNA World Tag Team Champions. (DUD - two DUD's within 3 minutes of each other.) 

5.  Beer Money Inc. vs.  Motor City machine guns vs. Team 3D vs.  Ink Inc.
- Shelley and Storm start.  Storm pushes him back and misses a right.  Shelley fights back and whips him off and Shelley slides through, goi behind and shcoolboy by Storm.  Sabin tosses him and dives through the ropes on Storm.  Sabin covers and gets 2.  Storm thumbs him in the eye.  D-Von tags in and so does Roode.  D-Von with rights and Roode knees him low.  He whips him off and kicks D-Von in the head.  Powerslam by D-Von and cover gets 2.  Team 3D face plants Roode.  Moore tags himself in and cross body on Roode gets 2.  Roode tosses Moore out of the ring.  Storm on the outside works over Moore.  Storm tags in and hits a double elbow on Moore.  Cover gets broken up by Brother Ray.  Storm with an uppercut on Moore.  Rode back in and kicks Moore down.  Chinlock cinched in on Moore.  Moore battles out and sunset flip gets 2.  Roode back up and clotheslines him down.  Storm back in.  He hits a series of knee strikes on Moore.  Back to the chinlock.  Moore elbows out and rides out a bulldog.  In comes Roode and he drags Moore back.  Moore kicks free and tags in Jesse Neal.  He backdrops Roode.  He clothesline the Guns down.  Covers Roode for 2.  Ray tags himself in and double clotheslines for Beer Money.  MCMG back in and double kick Ray.  Shelley hooks D-Von's neck and low dropkick by Sabin.  Roode grabs Sabin's leg and flips him off the apron.  Inside Neal battles with D-Von.  Doomsday Device for Neal and cover gets 2.  Moore makes the save and holds off Team 3D.  3D set up and broken up by Neal.  Ray slaps the piss out of Neal.  Mooregasim on D-Von.  Spear by Neal @ 7:19 gets Ink Inc the win.  (C.  Match was OK for a Shannon Moore encounter.)

-  More of Ric Flair as he talks about tonight's main event with subtitles.  Im not sure ifd that is Flair dipping or his trademark crooked smile.  BIG ROB TERRY faces Abyss for the Global Title next. 

TNA GLOBAL CHAMPIONSHIP
6.  BIG ROB TERRY vs. Abyss
- Of course we have something going on in the back.  Abyss is in cuffs.  He wants to know where Dixie and Hulk are.  If I went to jail dressed like that....wow.  Desmond Wolfe jumps Abyss as he is loaded into the cop car.  According to the rules of wrestling arrests, Wolfe should be going downtown, as well.  Hogan shows up and tells Abyss it will be ok.  The police want Abyss to take his mask off.  Hogan turns Abyss around and takes Abyss' mask off and puts his hood on his head.  So what does Abyss do?  Look right up out of the car window RIGHT AT THE CAMERA!  Nice job, TNA.  By the way, ROB TERRY stands in the ring and Orlando Jordan attacks him from behind.  OJ with a low blow.  OJ wearing all pink.  Way to exploit faggotry.  OJ with a lead pipe shot to TERRY'S head.  OJ places a "wild card" on TERRY'S back. 

-  Back on TNA and OJ is still in the middle of the ring.  OJ says it is time to cut out the foreplay. He act how he wants to and does how he wants to.  Just like his WWE theme music.  He is the TNA Wild Card.  If they want OJ out of the ring, they kick him out.  He offers an open challenge to anyone in the back.  Out comes Fat Ass, Out of Shape, Doughy, Tomko.

7.  Orlando Jordan vs, Tomko
-  Tomko hits a spinebuster to start and gets a 1.  OJ with a double leg and mounts Tomnko with rights.  OJ misses a charge,  Tomko with a press slam into a fallaway slam.  Oj sends him headfirst into the corner and then a great drop kick.  OJ rakes the eyes on the ropes.  OJ botches snapmare.  Actually fat ass Tomko can't roll through.  Second snapmare looks better, into a chinlock.  Tomko elbows out and hits the ropes for a clothesline inot a 2 count.  Tomko goes to pick up OJ but OJ drops him for a 2.  Tomko up and grabs OJ, but OJ OJ locks in a Guillotine for the win @ 3:14.  (D.  Not anything special in this one.)

-  Backstage Hogan is on the phone and Lacey walks in with her camera phone.  She says there is something Hogan needs to see.

-  Backstage, Eric Bischoff is talking to Tara.  Sarita wants a match with her and he granted it due to her piss poor attitude.

8.  Sarita vs. Tara
-  Sarita meets her on the ramp and drops Tara.  She kicks her off the ramp and then pulls her back up on it by her hair.  She throws Tara in and the bell rings.  Tara slides out and Sarita slams her head into the ring steps.  Tara thrown back in and Sarita goes up top.  She jumps over Tara and then comes back and clotheslines her.  Sarita hooks the arm and flip[s Tara over.  Tara begs off.  She kicks Sarita over the top and Sarita slingshot splashes her.  She takes off Tara's knee brace.  Referee pulls Sarita off and the ref is temporarily incapacitated.  Tara swings for the fences on Sarita with the knee brace and gets the win @ 1:50.  (D.  8 matches in 80 minutes?  How can this garner much of a rating?  All I need is a wolverine in the mix; then the rating would be ungarnered, right?  Right?)

-  Back on TNA and we get a 2 minutes video hyping Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett for Sacrifice. 

MAIN EVENT
9.  Jeff Hardy vs.  AJ Styles vs.  Rob Van Dam
-  This match has a 20 minutes time limit, so I wonder if this thing goes the limit with no winner.  RVD is shown in the back cutting a promo on his way out.  I can't understand him.  WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

-  AJ gets right in the face of a fan and stops all precedings.  AJ back in the ring and the bell rings.  RVD kicks AJ in the face.  He gets up and Hardy clotheslines him down.  Double hiptoss on AJ.  Hardy slams AJ and legdrops him.  Hardy covers and RVD pulls him off.  Hardy kicks RVD out fo the ring.  AJ chops Hardy and gets backdropped for his troubles.  Cover by Hardy gets 2.  RVD back in and kicks Hardy down.  RVD suplexes Hardy up and over.  AJ gets one as well.  Cover broken up by Hardy.  Hardy faceplants RVD.  Suplex into a face plant on AJ.  Modified Stunner on RVD.  Neckbreaker on Styles.  Cover on RVD gets 2.  AJ up and punches RVD.  He whips Hardy into the corner.  Dragon screw legwhip on RVD.  AJ sends RVD into the corner and RVD kicks out and AJ waits and clips the knee.  AJ with a Figure Four on RVD.  Hardy legdrops AJ.  Hardy goes up top and AJ pops him off the top rope.  RVD with a jumping sidekick on AJ.  Mr. Anderson on the outside beats on Jeff Hardy.  RVD comes outside and send Anderson into the guardrail.  AJ with a somersault dive on everyone.  The referee is down, by the way.  AJ DDT's RVD on the floor.  RVD pushed back in.  AJ covers with his feet on the ropes and gets the win @ 5:56.  (C+.  Good match.   Unfortunately, way too short.) 

-  Anderson laughs it up on the ramp way.  Jeff Hardy wants the mic.  Hardy calls Anderson a circus clown without the makeup.  He wants Anderson in the ring now.  Anderson goes to leave.  Out comes Hulk Hogan.  Anderson goes to hit Anderson and Hogan decks him.  Hardy grabs him and throws him off the ramp into the guardrail.  WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK! 

-  Back on Impact as Hardy and Anderson continue to battle at ringside.  hardy whips Anderson back into the guardrail.  He throws Anderson into the side of the staging area.  Hardy sets up a table and Anderson falls on it.  Hardy climbs on top of the broadcast table.  PICTURE PERFECT SWANTON THROUGH THE TABLE!  Anderson is not moving.  Hardy is up quickly and celebrates on the ramp. 

-  We see the video footage from Lacey's camera.  It shows Desmond Wolfe and Chelsea going over how to set up Abyss.  Wolfe rips her dress and makes her go over the lines of what Abyss did to her. 

We then go to a video package to pimp Sacrifice.  The card is:
-TNA World Title:   RVD vs. AJ Styles 
-Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett. 
-Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson. 
-TNA Tag Team Titles:  Ink Inc vs. Hall and Nash 
-TNA X Division Title:  Kazarian vs. Douglas Williams 
-TNA Global Championship:  Orlando Jordan vs ROB TERRY
-#1 Contender's Match:  MCMG vs. Beer Money Inc vs. Team 3D. 
-TNA Knockouts Title vs. Tara's Career:  Tara vs. Madison Raye
-Hogan's HOF Ring vs. Chelsea for 30 days:   Abyss vs. Desmond Wolfe

FINAL THOUGHTS
-  Horrible.  Just horrible.  9 matches; all that lasted no more than 8 minutes.  They must have sat at the production meeting and said, "How can we hype, book, and start new feuds all in one night?".  That is how, and it doesn't fly well with me.  Total time of your "nonstop action":  23:51.  Enjoy.  I think I found my cure for my insomnia. 

-  Bubba the Love Sponge gets fired from TNA for calling Awesome Kong, "black".  That is racially insensitive according to Total Nonstop Action.  The same people who have a wrestler named the Black Pope.  **sigh**  Let's cross the line.

-  We start with a video package from last week's show. 

"HOGAN/STING - THE SUMMIT"
(Is this anything like the Savage/Crush Summit?)

-  We start with Hogan and Bischoff in a limo talking about all the "big fish defecting to the pond".  Flair is gonna go ape shit according to Hogan.  Hogan is ready for Sting tonight.

-  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz.

-  Big announcement is that TNA Impact is retreating, err, moving back to Thursday nights starting May 13.  Also Spike TV has picked up TNA ReAction as well. 

-  Ric Flair's music hits and out walks Jay Lethal with Ric Flair's HOF ring.  Lethal has all the Flair mannerisms down.  Lethal give us a couple of Wooos.  Lethal cuts a promo and sounds very close to Ric Flair.  Lethal gets distracted and takes his coat off and drops a knee on it.  Lethal calls a couple of people fat boy, tells them to shut up and out comes the real Ric Flair.  Flair says Lethal is talking to God.  He takes his glasses off and stomps them.  Lethal give Flair his ring back.  He said he meant no disrespect and just wanted to come out and be Ric Flair for a few minutes.  Lethal pays respects to Flair.  Flair slaps Lethal.  Flair takes his shirt off and slaps Lethal again.  He calls himself God and says he IS wrestling.  He slaps Lethal again and Lethal retaliates.  He thumbs Flair in the eye and gives him a series of chops.  He shoots Flair off and backdrops him.  Lethal clamps on the Figure Four and out comes Beer Money Inc, AJ Styles,  and Desmond Wolfe.   Flair kicks Lethal in the groin and out waddles Abyss.  Numbers game catches up to Abyss and he gets beat down.  Out comes Team 3D and we have ourselves a Pier Sixer.  RVD's music hits and he runs into the ring with a chair.  The ring clears. 

-  Back to the limo, Hogan alludes to Lethal fudging up the plans with the HOF ring.  Hogan tells the limo driver to turn the car around. 

-  Back on TNA, we see what happened before the break.  RVD, Abyss, Lethal, and Team 3D in the ring.  RVD calls them the 4 Horse's Asses and invites them down for a fair fight.  Taz alludes to the earlier Pier Sixer, I speak of and the brawl is on, again.  FINALLY, out come Hulk Hogan.  He drops Robert Roode and Wolfe on the ramp.  In the ring, down goes James Storm and AJ Styles.  He hulks up and tosses Flair over the top rope.  We'll be right back. 

-  We are back on TNA and this brawl is STILL going on.  Security is out.  RVD is beating on AJ.  Lethal's shirt is torn to shit.  Hogan says TNA is the best thing going today.  Hogan books Desmond Wolfe in a match against RVD for the TNA Title tonight.  If it was your day in the pool for this one, you win.  AJ vs. Abyss in a Monster's Ball match.  Team 3D vs. Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns in a triple threat .  OK.  Now if you are TNA, that is enough.  LESS IS MORE!  Sting is up in the rafters.  We'll be right back. 

-  Back on TNA, the Beautiful People are getting ready.  Lacey wears her belt everywhere just like Chris Jericho.  All Knockout Titles are on the line in a 6 woman tag. 

1.  Brian Kendrick & Douglas Williams (with TNA X Division Title) vs. Ink Inc. (Jesse Neal & Shannon Moore)
-  Williams says he is mad he has to tag with a lunatic like Brain Kendrick.  If Kazarian wants his belt back, he has to beat Williams for it at Sacrifice.  On another note, Ink Inc?  Seriously!  And---of course.  Ink Inc are the undisputed #1 contenders to the TNA Tag Team Titles at Sacrifice.  Jesus H. Christ!  Bell rings.  Williams and Neal to start.  Williams with a go-behind into a chin lock.  Williams with a single leg and back to the go-behind.  Neal breaks free and hits a turning cross body for 2.  Williams with an overhead belly to belly and tags in Kendrick.  Kendrick struggles with a camel clutch adn tags back out.  Williams slams Neal and drops a few knees to the face.  Cover gets 2. Williams throws Neal to the corner and hits Neal in the thigh.  Kendrick back in and in comes Moore.  Moore with a HIGH body block.  Turning kick and inverted atomic drop.  Dropkick gets 2.  Moore misses a charge, roll up by Kendrick gets 2.   Kendrick goes to tag Williams and nobody home.  Moore with a Blockbuster.  Tags in Neal.  Neal with a spear for the win @ 3:07.  (C+.  Pretty fast paced and can't complain that much.)  Williams slaps Kendrick after the match. 

-  It's Samoa Joe.  He drops Williams on the ramp.  Super kick on Kendrick.  Throws him in the ring.  Charging knee on Kendrick.  Kendrick gets set up and about falls off Joe.  MUSCLE BUSTER!  Kendrick is dead!  Joe has the mic.  He looks at it and slams it down.  Joe leaves.  We'll be right back. 

-  Back on TNA and Flair throws JB out of his locker room.  Flair tells AJ to beat "that elephant's ass".  He says Beer Money has zeroed out.  He gets in their face.  He warns Wolfe that RVD is dangerous.  Flair slams the door something fierce. 

-  Now we see a backstage interview of Hulk Hogan.  He says the last 2 years of his life has been in shambles.  He wants to know what is going on with Sting.  He is getting in his face tonight. 

-  Backstage we see Mr. Anderson dressed as an alter boy beat on Pope.  Anderson slams a crate into Pope's shoulder several times.  He takes Pope's glasses and puts them on.

-  Back on TNA for Hour Two.  Mr. Anderson makes his way to the ring.  Anderson preaches to the Impact Zone that he is at a loss for words.  He says he had an awakening.  He says he will go to hell when he dies.  Out comes Jeff Hardy.  he says that Pope is not cleared to wrestle at Sacrifice.  So Hardy wants to face him.  He pushes Anderson in the face.  Anderson says he can't wrestle that night.  He tries a charge at Hardy and eats a Twist of Fate.  Hardy rips the altar robe off of Anderson revealing just his tights.  Hardy says those panties are sweet.  He grabs Anderson by the mouth and accepts his challenge for him. 

TNA KNOCKOUT AND TNA KNOCKOUT TAG TEAM TITLES
2.  Taylor Wilde, Sarita, & Tara vs.  The Beautiful People
-  If any of the Beautiful People are pinned they lose their respective titles.  Tara starts with Lacey.  She suplexes Lacey into a front guillotine.  Lacey dropkicks Tara and in comes Sarita.  In comes Velvet.  Velvet whips Sarita in and eats boots.  Sarita flips her over and hits a face plant.  Cover gets 2.  In comes Taylor and Velvet throws her down.  In comes Madison and eats a German suplex.  Hot tag to Tara and Sarita tags herself in.  Taylor slaps Tara.  Tara decks Taylor.  Double DDT on Sarita by Velvet and Lacey.  Madison covers for the win @ 2:42.  (D+.  Sarita and Taylor the only bright spots here.)

-  Back on TNA and Christy Hemme is with Tara. She gets no respect unless she is champion.  Christy reminds her that she hasn't won many matches lately.  Tara challenges Madison for the title at Sacrifice belt vs. career.

3.  Beer Money Inc vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Team 3D
- Sabin and Roode to start.  Roode decks Sabin and then it's all misses until Sabin hits a turning kick for 2.  Roode knees him low and tags in Storm.  Shelley with a blind tag and rolling neck snap into a low drop kick.  Cover gets 2.  Shelley and Storm exchange go behinds until D-Von hits a should tackle for 2.  D-Von peppers Storm in the corner.  Brother Ray holds up a boot for Storm to eat.  Roode back in and takes D-Von down.  Storm back in and double suplex on D-Von.  ~~~BEER~~  ~~MONEY~~  Roode tagged back in.  Storm misses a charge and D-Von clotheslines Roode.  ray tagged in and clears house.  Back drop on Roode.  Dusty Rhodes exchange for Storm.  Powerslam on Roode.  WASSUP on Roode.  Out comes Nash and Hall.  DQ @ 3:56.  (D.)  Eric Young comes out and holds Hall and Nash at bay.  He wallops Team 3D with the kendo stick.  Shelley comes back in and tosses Young.  Hall tries to catch him, but eats a Sabin dropkick into a Shelley Urinage.  Nash catches Shelley and sets up for a Jackknife until Sabin kicks Nash and double superkick takes the big man down.  Roode comes back in and hits a spinebuster on Sabin.  DWI for Shelley. 

-  IT'S TIME FOR THE O ZONE!!!  Out comes OJ who hits a couple of cliches wearing all silver.  He introduces ROB TERRY.  Instead we see a cutout of TERRY.  He fondles the poster talking about how hard he is.  Out comes the real ROB TERRY.  TERRY warns him not to make him come back.  OJ attacks him from behind.  I mean, he hit him in the back of the head.  He chokes TERRY out with a chain.  He drops a giant concrete (not reall) structure on the back of TERRY.  This was worse than Abraham Washington.

MONSTER'S BALL MATCH
4.  AJ Styles vs. Abyss
-  AJ meets Abyss at the ring apron and knocks him back.  AJ springboards into the hands of Abyss.  AJ charges and Abyss throws him back in the ring.  Aj up and misses a chair shot and Abyss hits the big boot.  Abyss with a crutch and AJ kicks him in the hand.  Abyss misses a chair shot and AJ stomps the chair away.  Abyss decks AJ.  AJ up and Pele kick on Abyss.  Abyss down in the corner.  AJ decks Abyss and hits the ropes and Abyss presses him up and drops him.  AJ tries to jump a charge and Abyss throws him head first into a lodged chair in the corner.  Shock Treatment on AJ gets 2.  Abyss grabs a bag of tacks.  Ric Flair brings out Chelsea in a trench coat.  Abyss grabs her and AJ smacks Abyss in the back with a chair.  Abyss tosses AJ out of the ring.  AJ grabs brass knux and hits Abyss south 'o da border.  AJ springboard bodypress on top of Abyss who falls into the tacks for the win @ 4:12.(C-.  Short but a entertaining.)  Chelsea reveals underneath her coat she is wearing...a dress!  Come on you perverts out there!  We'll be right back.

MAIN EVENT
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
5.  Desmond Wolfe vs.  Rob Van Dam
-  Wolfe dropkicks RVD to the face before the bell.  He throws him in the ring.  Wolfe kicks the 2ND turnbuckle and hits the charging elbow.  He throws RVD in, reversal, RVD misses a monkey flip and Wolfe hits a kick punch combo for 2.  RVD comes back and tries an Irish whip but Wolfe with a go behind into a should throw.  Cover gets 2.  Wolfe goes for a second charging elbow to the corner, but RVD hits the top rope and a jumping side kick.  Rolling Thunder on Wolfe.  RVD goes back up top amd Wolfe hits the ropes and crotches RVD.  Tower of London attempt but blocked.  Wolfe goes for it on the outside and RVD throws him to the ramp.  RVD with a springboard kick.  Wolfe back dropped back in.  FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH 3/4 across the ring for the win @ 3:01.  (C+.  Great, but very short.)  AJ attacks after the bell and invokes his rematch clause at Sacrifice.

-  Backstage we see Jeff Jarrett laid out and he tells Hogan that Sting did it. 

-  Back on TNA.  Out comes Hulk Hogan and he wants to know what is real.  He calls out Sting to find out.  Out comes Sting.  He has been around too long to be tricked.  He wants to know what makes Sting tick.  Sting says Total Nonstop Action makes him tick.  He wants to give back to wrestling that he loves.  Sting says that when Hogan was in the WWF(!)and WCW, he had a veil of protection.  He thinks that now that he his in TNA he can't protect people anymore.  Hogan says he can't beat people around with the bat.  He says that he just left Jarrett laying.  Sting laughs and says its Hogan's move.  Hogan dares Sting to hit him.  Out comes Jarrett and he attacks Sting.  He goes to hit him with the bat and Hogan stops him.  Show over.

Final Thoughts...
What garbage.  This show was horrible from top to bottom.  The opening 30 minutes reeked of something a 10 year old could write.  No direction.  The first match not starting till almost 8:45.  The last hour had 4 matches in 45 minutes.  Too rushed for my liking.  This was like an old WCW Nitro.  Oh, by the way, total time of action for the WHOLE show???  16:58.  Yep.  Not even 17 minutes of action for 5 matches.  I haven't even watched RAW and know their first match was longer than all of TNA's combined.  Have you given up on TNA yet?  I just about have.  WORST.  IMPACT.  EVER.