Scott’s Blog of Doom

Given my DVD collection now exceeds 1000 and counting, I watch a LOT of movies, but some of them have actually affected me to the point where I can hardly stand to watch them for a second time because an otherwise awesome piece of cinema is nearly brought down by one scene that is just like nails on a chalkboard for me. So with that in mind, here’s 7 otherwise great movies with one REALLY messed up scene.

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http://www.empireonline.com/features/posterletters/

Damn, this was pretty tough.  Shows what a great job is done by the people in charge of coming up with distinctive lettering, though. 

Scott,

Thanks for posting my email on TDK - have another ranking question for the blog: Where does The Dark Knight matchup as far as great movie sequels?  This could be more of a list question so I might be wording this wrong.  If I were to make a list of Great Franchise Sequels, I’d list them as follows in no particular -

01.) Empire Strikes Back - Star Wars Franchise

02.) Aliens - Alien Franchise

03.) Lethal Weapon 2

04.) Terminator 2

05.) The Matrix Reloaded - Matrix Franchise

06.) Spiderman 2

07.) The Two Towers - Lord of the Rings Franchise

08.) X2: XMen United

09.) The Dark Knight - Batman Franchise

10.) The Godfather II

My Top 4 would be listed as follows -

1.) Empire Strikes Back - the epitome of what a sequel should be: bigger, badder, bolder.  You can tell just by how Darth Vader’s helmet glistens in ESB that Lucas said "Ok, this is what I REALLY want to do…" We were given more story and this film was carried on the back of Harrison Ford.  Also, Darth Vader really underscored why he was one of Hollywood’s greatest villains.  IMO, this is arguably the standard bearer that all sequels should be compared to…

2.) The Dark Knight - A fantastic crime drama.  Everybody in this film hit a home run w/ their performances and I really wonder if Nolan will EVER be able to make a film better than this. The best Batman movie and the best comic book adaptation brought to cinema. *My biggest question for this email is how do you think it matches up against ESB?*

3.) Spiderman 2 - this film is what really underscored why Spidey fans love Peter Parker’s world so much: the everyday problems that we all go through and how having another responsibility can complicate life so much.

4.) The Matrix Reloaded - IMO, the best scifi action film EVER made.  This movie gave me everything I wanted.  W/ ESB as a template, they expanded more on the backstory of the war between humans and machines ; we saw ZION upclose and personified; and we saw some of the best fight and chase scenes that every other action/ scifi film has tried to copy in some variation; and we got a great cliffhanger ending.  A true trendsetter for the early 2000’s and beyond…

That’s my list, what’s yours…

 

Oh man, you’re so gonna get roasted by the blog for some of that.  Godfather Part II won the freakin’ OSCAR and you’d put Matrix Rebloated over it?

Speaking of the Dark Knight, rather ironic that it’s going to pass Star Wars on the all-time list the same weekend that Lucas beats at that dead house one more time with The Clone Wars. 

Anyway, Godfather Part II is one of the greatest movies, of any genre, ever made and is easily my #1 pick for sequels as well.  Dark Knight is all kinds of awesome, but Empire Strikes Back is still above it at #2 because there’s a reason why people say "such and such is the Empire Strikes Back of the trilogy".  Then I’d put Dark Knight.  And why is there never any love for James Bond?  From Russia With Love completely defined the Bond franchise and added all the elements that came to be associated with the character from then on. 

Good to see that the Apatow comedy juggernaut was only slightly derailed by stuff like Drillbit Taylor and Walk Hard (which, although hilarious, was a pretty huge flop), because Pineapple Express was a pretty great comedy.  The formula seems simple — Seth Rogen plays a regular guy who smoke pots, movie makes mad cash.  Really though, this one is all about James Franco coming out of nowhere as a major comedic force, just acting the shit out of his role as Saul the drug dealer and carrying the movie on his back.  I think the movie skews a little too much towards the action by the end, and some of the violence was way too graphic for what was a low-key road comedy for the most part, but I laughed a lot and that’s what counts.  I did, however, think that no matter how great Gary Cole played his part ("Has anyone seen my BIGGER knife?"), I was always wondering a little how much greater Paul Rudd would have done with the part.  But maybe that’s just me.

http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/crosstalk_is_the_golden_age_of/1

Really, really excellent article from the AV Club, as they debate whether the “golden age” of DVD has passed us by, and I found myself nodding along more than once while reading it.  I too rarely use commentary tracks on movies I’m not reviewing, with the main exception being The Simpsons, which has some of the best commentary tracks out there and because I’ve seen them all a million times and it adds something new.  But, for example, I bought the 2-disc version of Sweeney Todd even though I still haven’t even watched the movie, because otherwise I’d feel ripped off somehow.  It’s weird, actually.  And I too have recently had Dave’s World and Caroline In The City dumped in my mailbox by the studio even though I only requested one of them (I leave it as an exercise to the reader to guess which one).  Not to mention a show like Fastlane, which I doubt anyone was crying out for, and which I shall bash the fuck out of once I finish sitting through the special features no one will watch but me. 

The SmarK DVD Rant for Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

"You know what the ‘P.H.’ in ‘N.P.H.’ stands for, don’t you?"

"Patrick Harris?"

"No! Common mistake. It actually stands for ‘Poon Handler’."

- Neil Patrick Harris, as Neil Patrick Harris.

If ever there was a movie franchise that knows its audience, it’s Harold & Kumar. Their first outing, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, was a mild critical success and a total theatrical flop, but struck a chord with goofy stoners everywhere on DVD, far exceeding its theatrical total when ported to the small screen. The formula was pretty simple: Two charming, everyman actors get into misadventure on what appears to be a simple trip to a burger joint. The true star of that movie was of course Neil Patrick Harris, playing a hilarious twist on his relatively nice-guy image as a womanizing, car stealing, drug snorting wildman in one of the most memorable cameos in recent cinema history. So the sequel seemed to be easy enough to pull off — just jack up the stakes, add more NPH and vulgarity, and watch the money roll in. Which is exactly what happened.

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Amidst Mike Adamle as the new RAW GM and Freddie Prinze Jr. on the writing team, it’s good to know that there’s still big money wrestling storylines out there.  However, in this case it’s in the form of The King of Kong, a videogame documentary I had heard about but never checked out until tonight.  And man, Billy Mitchell v. Steve Wiebe is the Wrestlemania main event for next year based on the rivalry here.  And the great part of the movie (among many) is that the filmmakers don’t put words into their mouths or judge the eccentricities of the people involved, they just let them talk their talk and watch the personalities come to the forefront.  Billy Mitchell is like the Randy Savage of Donkey Kong and Steve Wiebe is Ricky Steamboat — Billy cuts these amazing pro wrestling promos (”Everyone wants to see me lose.  Maybe I should try it sometime”) and Steve endures all this crap fighting against the establishment of the videogame world who want nothing more than for Billy’s decades-old Donkey Kong scores to stand untouched, and it’s a totally engrossing story where you’re nearly standing up and cheering for Steve by the end.  In fact, I did.  And you couldn’t make up the bizarre crew who follow Billy around like sycophants, particularly gaming guru Walter Day.  It’s fascinating stuff, following a seemingly trivial pursuit, which I think makes it all the more amazing.

Freddie should check it out, he might learn something.

OK, last one tonight.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16517_if-hancock-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html

Did we discuss Hancock on this here blog?  Because we really should have.  I actually saw it on opening night and just never posted thoughts for whatever reason, but I found it really polarizing, summed up nicely by the super-snarky Cracked article linked up there.  Not polarizing for others, but during the movie for me because the first half was a perfectly fun and stupid romp with a bad person who strives to become a good person, albeit with a pointless and retarded subplot about Jason Bateman trying to change the world via PR (huh?)…and then the SECOND half of the movie throws the Big Plot Twist at the viewer and it’s just one big "fuck you" from there because none of it makes a lick of sense and you’re thinking "This movie was in development for something like 10 years and this is the best they can come up with?"  At least I was.  I mean, did the story really warrant the direction they went in with it?  Were people sitting there thinking "You know, this is a perfectly fine movie as it is, but what it’s really lacking is some metaphysical bullshit plot twist with pseudoscience thrown in."?  Because I wasn’t. 

Ignore the haters on Rotten Tomatoes, Step Brothers brings the FUNNY.  It’s one of the few cases lately where they don’t ruin all the great jokes in the trailer because it’s basically Adam McKay giving Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly a stupid premise and then letting them improv for 90 minutes, and the results are fucking hilarious.  Just be assured that intellectual, it is not, but if you can see why one person telling another one that their singing voice is "like a combination of Fergie and Jesus" is a great line, then this is your movie.  The best way I can sum it up is an ultra-vulgar combination of 40 Year Old Virgin and Dumb and Dumber, and I’ll leave it at that and resist the temptation to give away all the great lines which will soon be swarming the internet, I’m sure. 

FINALLY after the gods aligned against me all week, I got a chance to see it tonight.  And I mean, it was no sure thing either, because the showings at one major theater here in Edmonton were all sold out hours in advance (which we didn’t find out until we got there to buy tickets 90 minutes before the show), and then the IMAX shows at West Edmonton Mall were all sold out, so finally we settled for the regular late show because fuck if I was going to end my vacation without seeing this movie.   And even then we had to drop our friends off at their house and then circle back and get to the show on time, which we did with 20 minutes to spare, and even then we had to sit on the side of the theater to find two seats together. 

But it was worth it.  Oh yes was it ever.

Discussion and spoilers follow the break.

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