OK, after taking into account requests in the previous thread, I’ve subbed in a few popular choices and subbed out a few unpopular ones (mainly those with Paul Roma in them, oddly enough) and after a random seeding process, we now have a field of 64 teams.
So here’s how it’s going to work: I’ve organized the tournament into four divisions: The Jim Crockett Division, The Eddie Gilbert Division, The Lou Thesz Division and the Eddie Guerrero Division. Each division has eight first round matchups, and we will proceed through each division until there’s a winner of each one. Then it’s a four-team tournament to crown the ultimate tag team of all-time!
Seedings are entirely arbitrary and meaningless, so don’t get offended because Demolition and the Road Warriors ended up so close together, for instance.
I decided to go with three options: You can pick either team to win, or you can pick a draw if you’re playing armchair booker and think it would end up that way. You can use whatever criteria you want to choose your winner, whether it be the team that’s your favorite, the team you think would be booked to win, the team that would win a real fight, I don’t care.
The official pairings follow after the break, and then we’ll begin with the Jim Crockett Division tonight!
Jim Crockett Division:
Barry Windham & Mike Rotundo v. Warlord & Barbarian
The Filthy Animals v. The Steiner Brothers
Kevin Steen & El Generico v. The Smoking Gunns
Doom v. The Sheepherders
The Briscoe Brothers v. The Rockers
America's Most Wanted v. The Rock N Sock Connection
Demolition v. The Rock N Roll Express
The APA v. The Road Warriors
Eddie Gilbert Division:
The Superpowers v. The Quebecers
Edge & Christian v. The Public Enemy
The Dream Team v. The Outsiders
Harlem Heat v. The New Age Outlaws
The Megapowers v. The Natural Disasters
Ivan & Nikita Koloff v. The Nasty Boys
The East-West Connection v. Miz & Morrison
Owen Hart & Yokozuna v. The Midnight Express
Lou Thesz Division:
Kane & Undertaker v. The Killer Bees
Beer Money v. Sheik & Volkoff
The Freebirds v. The Hollywood Blondes
Money Inc. v. The High Flyers
The Andersons v. The Heavenly Bodies
Owen Hart & British Bulldog v. The Headshrinkers
Badd Company v. The Hart Foundation
The Rougeau Brothers v. The Hardy Boyz
Eddie Guerrero Division:
The Young Stallions v. Eddie & Chavo Guerrero
The Can-Am Connection v. Strike Force
Rick Rude & Manny Fernandez v. The Fantastics
RVD & Sabu v. The Eliminators
Shawn & Diesel v. The Dudley Boyz
D-Generation X v. The British Bulldogs
Haas & Benjamin v. Sting & Luger
Gordy & Williams v. Blanchard & Anderson
Barry Windham & Mike Rotundo def by Warlord & Barbarian – Warlord pins Mike Rotundo after Mr Fuji throws salt in Rotundo’s eyes.
The Filthy Animals def by The Steiner Brothers – Rick pins Kidman in a handicap match with one foot following Scott’s Frankensteiner. Rey Mysterio wouldn’t show up without a mask… the wuss.
Kevin Steen & El Generico def by The Smoking Gunns – Without doing the research I’m assuming El Generico is masked – how very American! Billy pins Generico following the Sidewinder after Sunny provides an ample distraction for Steen.
Doom draw The Sheepherders – Double Countout following a wild brawl that ends up ‘going all the way back to the dressing room’.
The Briscoe Brothers def The Rockers – Wouldn’t the Rockers look like giants in this match? Given that Scott has added an ‘e’ to Brisco this automatically ensures that this is your standard ‘5 Minute Prime Time Wrestling Rockers Exhibition Bout’ where they pull out the double hiptoss, double elbow, double top rope fistdrop and the double… you get the picture. Jesse Ventura at ringside would be in fits about the 5 second rule not being adhered to. However, Jack and Jerry Brisco run in and beat the everloving hell out of the Briscoes drawing a DQ to eliminate the Rockers from the tournament and immediately taking their namesakes place in the next round. BOOK IT SCOTT!
America’s Most Wanted def by The Rock N Sock Connection – Mr Socko on Harris leads into a Rock Bottom on Storm and Double Peoples Elbow finishes.
Demolition def The Rock N Roll Express – I’ll go with the 1989 version of Demolition here and the 1998 WWF version of the RnR’s here to make things easier to book. Decapitation finishes Gibson. If we go with the 1991 Demo’s and the 1986 Express then the result would be vastly different but I want a REAL showdown between the Roadies and the Demo’s in the next round.
The APA v. The Road Warriors – The APA realise the same thing as I do and volunteer to forfeit the match in exchange for a case of beer and a box of cigars. Paul Ellering accepts without hesitation after seeing the price of beer and cigars getting ready to skyrocket thanks to a tip contained within his always handy Wall Street Journal.
We should have had a battle royal for the 64th spot with all the oversights, such as:
Bundy/Studd
Twin Towers (Akeem and Bossman)
Some combination of von Erichs
MNM
Or maybe we can have an “NIT tournament” with 32 other teams not worthy of this one?
Wow, Strike Force VS The Can-Am Connection. That’s weird. Who do you like more? Tito Santana or Tom Zenk? Zenk was definitely batshit crazier, but Tito had a better career. Three other matchups inexplicably intrigue me here:
Road Warriors VS APA – No one will sell anything in this match.
Mega Powers VS Natural Disasters – This would be even better if Typhoon were any good, but it seems like the perfect team for Hogan & Savage to square off against in 1988.
The Rockers VS Briscoe Brothers – I’ve never seen a Briscoe Brothers match, but if Shawn & Marty managed not to get all good and coked up before this, based on what I’ve read, this could be the most exciting match of the tournament.
I also like the idea of Miz & Morrison VS The East-West Connection for some reason. Horrible clash of styles, but enormously entertaining personalities right there.
This is fun, Scott. Thanks for putting this together.
Man is the Eddie Division stacked- including my two favorite teams ever- The Bulldogs and the Brainbusters.
This is great Scott!
Hey Scott,
What is your reasoning behind those 4 men in the naming of the divisions?
I’m trying to find a connection between them, but thats why Im not the World’s Greatest (Time-displaced) Detective.
I dunno, I just wanted four important sounding wrestling-related names to make it sound more legit. The whole thing can be considered the Captain Lou Tag Team Tournament as well.
Well since this is all in your head, you should of named it the Pat Patterson Invitational Tag tournament.