The SmarK Rant for WWE Bragging Rights 2009
- Live from Pittsburgh, PA.
- Your hosts are Michael & Jerry & Todd
- So apparently the winner of the metaphorical bragging rights gets an actual trophy. Really? In 2009?
The Miz v. John Morrison
You've gotta feel a little bit bad for Marty Jannetty, having been turned into even more of a punchline than he was before. Morrison rides him down to start and controls with an armbar for two. Shoulderblock gets two. Miz bails and heads back in for a side headlock. Morrison escapes with a pancake and gets the standing moonsault for two. Miz hammers away and tosses him, but Morrison comes back in with a sunset flip for two. Rollup gets two. They fight over a backslide, but Morrison clotheslines Miz to the floor instead and follows with a baseball slide. Glad we missed that because of the director showing the locker rooms watching the match. Morrison goes for a flying headscissors and gets dumped to the floor, and back in Miz gets a backdrop suplex for two and takes over. Morrison slugs back, but Miz clotheslines him in the corner and adds a kneelift for two. We hit the chinlock, but Morrison rolls him up for two. Another rollup gets two. They slug it out and Morrison wins with a legsweep and adds a leg lariat for two. Shining Wizard misses and Miz rolls him up for two. Morrison with the Moonlight Drive for two, but Miz bails to escape Starship Pain. Morrison hits him with a plancha instead, and that gets two. Morrison puts him on top, but Miz hits him with a double axehandle. Morrison comes back with a Russian legsweep and goes to finish, but Miz knocks him down and pins him at 10:55. The announcers were all "The winner of this is the conquering hero who hit the home run!" and stuff, but the crowd wasn't really into it. They really need to better inform the crowds when it's the most important PPV of the year, because otherwise people just think for themselves. Match was fine, as they have good chemistry. ***
Michelle McCool, Natalya & Beth Phoenix v. Melina, Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim
Kim starts with Phoenix and gets a rollup out of a slam attempt for two, so McCool tags herself in. That goes nowhere, so Natalya comes in and slams Kim. Gail gets a kneelift off the apron and it's over to the RAW side, where Kelly gets a Nash choke in the corner, but gets dropped on the top rope for two. The Smackdown team works Kelly over in the corner and Phoenix gets a snapmare for two. Kelly plays face in peril and McCool throws knees, but Beth comes in and gets rolled up for two. Hot tag Melina and she faceplants Phoenix and gets a small package, but McCool turns them over for two. It's BONZO GONZO and Beth finishes Melina with the Glam Slam at 6:51. Totally watchable. **1/2
Meanwhile, D-X tries to rally the troops, inadvertently insulting everyone on the team ("And we exposed this guy as a fake Jamaican!") but still getting the solidarity desired.
Smackdown World title: Undertaker v. Batista v. CM Punk v. Rey Mysterio
Punk declaring "It's clobbering time!" on the ramp is pretty awesome. Batista chases Punk to start, and walks right into Undertaker's punch. Punk hammers on UT in the corner, and that's an epic fail as Taker tosses him into a Mysterio dive from the apron. Rey dropkicks Taker out of the ring, but walks into a boot. Taker goes to work on Batista with Old School, but Punk prevents a second attempt and fights on the top rope with UT. He manages a superplex and Rey springboards in for two. Batista beats on Punk and adds a powerslam, but Taker puts him down with a big boot. Rey tries diving in with a rana, but Taker counters to the Last Ride, and Batista spears UT out of that. Rey and Batista argue over who gets to cover, but Taker pops up, so Rey gets the 619 on Taker, into Batista's spinebuster for two. Rey goes up again and gets caught by Punk with GTS for two. Batista goes after Taker and gets caught in the gogoplata, but Punk breaks that up and hits the running knee on Taker. That leads to the Last Ride for two. Taker and Batista slug it out and Batista gets chokeslammed for two. Punk goes after Taker and gets tossed, leaving UT to finish Batista, but Batista counters with the Batista bomb for two. Rey breaks it up and gets two, and there's your heel turn for Batista. Unfortunately, Batista gets so distracted by the dark side of the Force that a chokeslam from Undertaker gets two. They clothesline each other and Punk gets two on both of them. Rey comes back in and Batista tosses him, but Undertaker finishes Batista with the tombstone at 9:56 to retain. Well that was fast-paced, to say the least. I liked all the crazy finishers for the first 8 minutes or so, but it kind of fell apart once Batista turned. Needed to go to the finish as soon as Batista nailed Rey, but it was really entertaining otherwise. ***1/4
Afterwards, Josh interviews Rey & Batista, and Rey is all "Well, we did our best", and Batista attacks him again to really drive the point home. And people CHEER him. Well, that was a pretty awesome heel turn with some good menace from Batista ("I'm not playing. I'm gonna rip your head off.") so you can hardly blame them. And a really good, high quality heel turn with solid motivation has been lacking for a while now, so good on them.
Bragging Rights Trophy final: HHH, Shawn Michaels, Big Show, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes & Kofi Kingston v. Chris Jericho, Kane, Matt Hardy, Finlay, R-Truth, DH Smith & Tyson Kidd
Once again the announcers lie about RAW being the "longest running episodic show in TV history," which it's not. The Simpsons and Law & Order have been running longer than RAW, and 60 Minutes has not only run longer but has produced more episodes. Rhodes and Truth do some brawling to start, but Cody tags out to Show. So we get Show v. Kane instead, and Show puts him down and follows with a legdrop for two. Swagger comes in and gets in Kane's face, and that proves to be a bad idea. The Smackdown side beats on Swagger in the corner, and Hardy gets a clothesline for two. Swagger charges and hits boot, and Matt follows with the yodeling legdrop for two. To the floor, where Hardy clotheslines him, and we get our first RAW v. Smackdown standoff. Matt gets caught in the RAW corner and Henry tosses him around, then Shawn works on the arm until Matt hits a Side Effect. Over to Finlay, who whips Shawn into the corner for a Flair Flip, but they collide for the double KO. Shawn recovers first with the superkick, but the Hart Dynasty sneaks in with a Hart Attack to keep Shawn in the corner. And it's Jericho time, as he goes to a chinlock.
Cole, while talking about Big Show: "Big Show there, looking at his partner. Well, no partners tonight!" Except for the six partners on his team, I guess. Kane comes in with a seated dropkick for two. Grisham accidentally calls the Hart Dynasty "The Hart Foundation" and MICHAEL COLE makes fun of him for saying something stupid. Buh-zing. Smith comes in with a backdrop suplex on Shawn for two. Kidd slingshots in with an elbow, but misses, and it's hot tag HHH. He runs wild on the Harts and hits everyone with spinebusters, but Kane chokeslams him. Kidd gets two off that. Jericho with a bulldog, but the Lionsault misses and Kofi comes in. Jericho counters the, uh, Boom Drop into a Liontamer attempt, but Kofi rolls him up for two. Trouble in Ghana gets two and it's breaking loose in Tulsa again, as everyone does their wacky finishers. Kofi looks to finish, but Big Show turns on him, revealing that his alliance to the World tag team titles is more important than a meaningless trophy. I'm shocked, I don't know about you. Jericho pins Kofi at 15:31 to give Smackdown the trophy. Sadly, no one smashes it. Too short to give everyone any kind of time in the match, but it was another good fast-paced match for the night. ***1/2
RAW World title, Iron Man match: Randy Orton v. John Cena
Cena with the headlock to start, and Orton also goes that route. Cena fights out and Orton sends him into the corner and Cena tries a bulldog, but Orton counters that and stomps the back. Cena takes him down with an STF out of nowhere, however, and Orton taps out at 3:55. Cena is 1-0. Smart booking there, as Orton tapped immediately rather than let himself get injured.
30 second rest period follows, and Orton charges in with a powerslam, then chokes away on the ropes. Suplex gets two. Orton goes to the CHINLOCK OF DOOM, but Cena escapes with the Throwback and goes up for the legdrop. Five knuckle shuffle is countered with the RKO, and we're tied 1-1 at 9:00.
Cena bails to the apron and Orton sends him into the railing, then clears the announce table and nails Cena with the monitor. That gets two. You know, it's 2009, they should really have switched to LCD monitors by now. Orton brings the microphone into the ring and puts Cena down for two. And Cena is BLEEDING. Holy shit, that's only the second time this year someone has done that. They want to check the cut, but Cena is too angry and tosses Orton, before getting sent into the stairs himself. Orton gets two off that. Orton stomps Cena's head on the stairs and gets two. Back in, Orton slugs away while the announcers talk about how the doctors might have to stop the match because of Cena's cut. C'mon, Jerry Lawler would bleed more than that during his PROMOS, why would he ever say something like that? This TV-PG shit is fucking stupid. Cena comes back with the Shuffle and FU, but Orton counters to an RKO in mid-air and both are down and out. So the ref counts them both out at 17:00 to make it 2-2. Well that's kind of a pointless fall, although it does save Orton from going down 2-1, so I guess it makes sense in that regard. I retract my criticism.
They fight to the top rope and Cena gets the FU off the top, for the pin to go up 3-2 at 19:38. And Legacy runs in for the beatdown, because why not? It's no DQ anyway. After the 30 second rest period, Orton pins Cena at 20:55 to make it 3-3. Kofi Kingston chases Legacy away to explain their departure.
They brawl to the stage and Orton rams Cena into the pyro table, which sets off an explosion on the ramp. That seems to inspire him, so he throws Cena into the lighting grid for more silly special effects, and that makes it 4-3 Orton at 25:33. Orton continues to play with the pyro board, which has GOT to be setting something up, and indeed he puts Cena down with a chair and drags him over the pyro and then threatens to BLOW HIM UP REAL GOOD. Sadly, it doesn't work, because it would have been the most over-the-top retardedly awesome finish in wrestling history. So with that devious plan foiled, they fight back to ringside as Jerry Lawler has to say with a serious inflection "Guys, Randy Orton's intentions were to blow up John Cena." I can't even type that without cracking up. Was he going to ask for ONE…BILLION…DOLLARS first? Was his next step the sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads? They've crossed the line from wrestling into Austin Powers, folks. Anyway, Orton hits Cena with the stairs for two, then a chair for two. Back in, Cena gets the cradle out of nowhere for the pin at 33:00 to make it 4-4. Orton tries to beat up Cena during the rest period, and the ref is like "You've gotta give him 30 seconds!" Are you kidding? You're gonna tell that to the guy who tried to murder someone with a PYRO BOARD?
So Orton gives him the 30 seconds, then drags him to the apron and DDTs him to the floor to make it 5-4 at 35:15. After the rest period, he covers again and gets two. Back into the ring for the Garvin Stomp, which gets two. Orton slugs him down for two. Very slowly. Cena suddenly makes the comeback, rapidly shifting as usual between playing a corpse and moving planets as Superman, and Orton bails to think the situation over. Lawler thinks that 19:00 is too long for Orton to stall, but that never stopped Larry Zbyszko before. They slug it out on the ramp and then Orton runs all the way back to the ring again to waste more time. So back into the ring, Orton attacks and pounds away on the mat, then tries his DDT, but Cena reverses out and Orton bails again. Into the crowd this time for the time-wasting brawl, as Cena sends Orton down the stairs and back to ringside again for two. Into the stairs for two. Nice visual as he tosses Orton through the timekeeper's barricade, then hits him with the STEEL steps. Then he stops to prep the table, and sets up the stairs next to it. That seems like an oddly specific plan for revenge. As it turns out, he carries Orton up the stairs on his back and puts him through the table with the FU. That ties it up at 5-5 at 51:00.
Cena brings another table into the ring and puts Orton's lifeless body on it, but then goes up and tries a flying splash. That backfires on him, of course, and they slug it out from their knees as the crowd boos Cena's comeback. The ref is bumped and Orton gets the RKO, but it only gets two, even with Charles Robinson sprinting in. Oh no, I said a referee's name, I hope Vince doesn't sue me or yell in my headset. Orton gets rid of that ref and stops to talk to the voices in his head, but misses the PUNT OF DOOM and gets caught in the STF. He holds on for nearly a minute, but taps at 1:00:00 to give Cena the belt back. I liked the Hell in a Cell match better, actually, as I found this even more slow and plodding than usual for an Orton match and couldn't take it seriously after Orton tried to kill him with fireworks. I don't get where some people are getting "All time classic" from at all. ***1/4
The Pulse:
A good show with yet another in the endless series of World title changes that mean nothing. Nothing bad and all good matches means an easy thumbs up, but this is nothing I'm ever going to go back and watch again. I'm relieved to know, however, that Randy Orton has a secure spot as a supervillain in his future should the wrestling thing not work out for him.
“I don’t get where some people are getting “All time classic” from at all.”
I agree 100%. The match was fine for what it was, but very boring in certain spots. I think some folks automatically go for the word “classic” whenever there’s a 1 hour time limit.
Maybe it’s because I’m such a heavy Orton mark, but I loved that last match, unlike Bret vs. Shawn, it didn’t feel like an hour and had the right amount of psychology to make it memorable to the people who watched the show.
Oh and by the way Scott, the blood from Cena’s head was apparently not meant to happen. It was an actual cut which is why doctors rushed in to the ring to clean it up quickly because Vince didn’t want the fans to get any of Cena’s blood on them during the brawl in the crowd spot.
As for the 7 on 7 match, I’m actually glad there was a trophy to be won for it sold the point that this was an important match for the brand. Sure it’s cheesy, but there’s nothing wrong with a little cheese.
Threatening to blow someone up with the video board is not psychology.
They had to turn it into a no-dq match because they couldn’t fill the HOUR with actual WRESTLING like Bret & Shawn, Brock & Kurt, or even HHH and Benoit could.
It’s 2009, Why would WWE care about filling an hour with actual wrestling?
In total agreement about the Ironman match… it was average at best. Once again Orton looks like a total douche having Cena beaten to death then rather than finishing him off he decides to pose menacing and viper like into the camera moving in slow mo for special effects. The Psychology and selling was all over the shop.
I really enjoyed the Batista turn though, he needs to do this at least 2 years ago.
Orton’s villianous plan with buttons has already lead to some tremendous photoshop gifs on the wrestlecrap forums:
http://i38.tinypic.com/2m2u9ky.jpg
http://i33.tinypic.com/bj9y0g.jpg
The second one is tremendous.
I still don’t understand why they didn’t have Vince McMahon or one of the guest General Managers put up a cash prize for the Bragging Rights winning team and booked around that as the motivation for guys wanting into the match. Because the whole ‘brand loyalty’ concept just doesn’t work with the WWE Blue and Red Networks, especially when you have talent, valets and even announcers bouncing from show to show on an almost weekly basis. WCW vs. WWF circa 1998, this is not.
And I mentioned this in another thread, but the ECW brand has fallen off the face of the Earth as far as WWE is concerned ever since Christian won the belt. I know ECW is a low priority anyhow, but at least when guys like Henry and Punk had the title ECW would get a PPV slot once in a while. Maybe they flipped a coin backstage and the women’s divisions won the restroom break intervals, but I also wonder if this is related to the (alleged) comments Vince has made over the years about Christian (and Regal).
Orton is such a cartoon character now, which is sad considering all the potential that was there when he kicked Vince in the head. And since they’ve failed to build up any other top heels, they’ve got no choice but to do this ‘50/50′ booking which makes the title seem completely worthless. How long before both Cena and Orton break Flair’s record? A year, maybe two tops? At this rate, they might even break Lawler’s record in Memphis!
What did Vince say about Christian and Regal over the years?
Bascially he doesn’t like Christian’s look and doesn’t see starpower in him and he doesn’t like Regal’s ringwork…allegedly. But I’m inclined to agree with him about Christian and I can see where Regal’s style wouldn’t be Vince’s cup of tea.
I’m a big fan of “money driven” angles. This includes bounties (not nearly enough of these anymore in wrestling) and money challenges (my fav all time was “Big” John Studd’s slam challenge).
I agree. The John Studd slam challenge was epic.
One of my favorite episodes of the Austin-McMahon saga was McMahon’s announcing a $100,000 bounty on Austin for the 1999 Royal Rumble. That should have been the perfect groundwork for a tremendous, dramatic Rumble match. Instead, we got Austin taken to a hospital and McMahon sitting at ringside while everyone fell asleep for an hour.
I’m happy to see Scott stick up for the women’s match because until the botched finishing sequence in the corner between Beth and Melina, it was pretty darned solid.
It’s weird how recently the PPVs that look pretty lackluster on paper and/or in their build-up tend to be more satisfying than others. I wasn’t expecting anything from Bragging Rights and in the end I was happily surprised.
I predicted every finish and major happening, though, with the only exceptions being the apparent elevation of Kofi Kingston and Randy Orton trying to blow John Cena up, haha.
It’ll be priceless to see Jericho cut the most self-congratulatory promo in history holding that goofy trophy.
I really liked what they did with Kingston. He and Rhodes have the making of a very good mid-card feud. If they continue to tease tension between Orton-Dibiase and continue the Swagger push then Raw should be very good, even with a Cena-HHH main event feud.
And I agree that Raw will be worth watching tonight just to see Jericho’s promo!
I loved how Kingston taking the pin proved to actually enhance his image. Firstly, it *was* due to Big Show’s turn, so Kignston doesn’t lose anything from the pinfall, anyway–then Cody Rhodes gets in his face about it and jumps him. Cody and Ted attack Cena during the Iron Man Match, as anyone on earth could have seen coming, but then they pay it all off by having Kingston chase them out of the ring with a chair.
Kingston-Rhodes seems like a potentially strong midcard feud on Raw that should benefit both guys. Kingston in particular has been missing a clear-cut, hot feud with somebody.
I can’t wait for Jericho’s promo.
I’m guessing this all leads to JeriShow vs. DX at Survivor Series.
I’m guessing this all leads to JeriShow vs. DX at Survivor Series.
Well, you’d think so, but…
but…?
Good show I thought, all the matches were good or very good. Iron Man match certainly wasn’t a classic (nowhere near as good as Rock-HHH) but I enjoyed it and they had my attention for most of the hour. Also pleased that Miz got the victory because it benefits him more – Morrison is as over as he was before.
Best part of the show was definitely Batista’s heel turn. “I’m not playing. I’m gonna rip your head off”. Way more effective and scary than a heel shouting his head off and going ballistic. I wasn’t happy about Batista moving to Smackdown but this has a lot of potential. Slight concern that it makes Punk no 2 heel on the show but let’s see how it plays out.
So you’re saying that the 14-man tag was the best match of them all?
Really? Really? Really?
I always thought the ref bump was supposed to get sympathetic heat for the FACE. I saw this in the HiaC w/ Orton and the Undertaker as well just recently where the heel is screwed out of a fall because of the refs. Sure it gives him beef for tomorrow night (god help us – please let it end) but it felt like a stretch.
As for the blood, I thought that was the hardway last night but was told on the Pulse that it had to be scripted because the doctors were there. Who blades the top of their head? No way that was fake. Not in TV-PG land.
Um, they ALWAYS have doctors on hand. It’s a full contact business, what happens when someone gets injured? Not to be condescending, but the logic “it’s a work because doctors were there!” is sort of ridiculous.
Agree 100%
There’s a HHH interview in this month’s Powerslam magazine (UK based) that has been reprinted on the pwtorch website. It’s really interesting and there are parts I agree with and parts I don’t. But two quotes left me gobsmacked. When asked about putting younger guys over, he explained that it’s a wrestler’s responsibility to get themselves over. He said:
“What big star ever laid down for me?”
…
“You put C.M. Punk in a 30-minute match with The Undertaker, it’s 50-50 all the way and then Punk wins clean, the fans won’t accept it. It does nothing for C.M. Punk, and it’s also detrimental to the Undertaker.”
Yes, such a match would do nothing for CM Punk. I guess this thinking explains a lot of WWE’s booking this year. It also appears that HHH has completely forgotten about his streetfight with Cactus Jack, at least when said the above two things.
HHH is an ass. I can answer that question with Foley and The Rock…for starters.
And Undertaker. And Austin.
And Big Show.
And VINCE.
I thought Austin refused to put Triple H over, which is why Foley won the three-way at SummerSlam 1999 and Trip won the title the next night on RAW.
I think he was referring to when he was on his way up the card and main eventers not laying down for him then. And I don’t remember Undertaker ever putting him over in 1999/2000 either, actually.
I’d like to finally see a long one-on-one match between Punk and Taker. As is, the entire feud has been dismal and without a single standout match to take home from it.
How is Punk even remotely helped, for instance, when, on last week’s Smackdown, he has the cards stacked so terribly against Undertaker and yet still looks like a chump and takes the loss?
The storyline seems to be, Punk isn’t even in Taker’s league and can only “beat” him through completely nefarious means. Okay, but how does any of this help Punk, when he was already white-hot going into this “feud”?
“You put C.M. Punk in a 30-minute match with The Undertaker, it’s 50-50 all the way and then Punk wins clean, the fans won’t accept it. It does nothing for C.M. Punk, and it’s also detrimental to the Undertaker.”
This is so disheartening. Does nothing for Punk? wtf?
I know, completely amazing. I would love to be conducting this interview and look right at Mr. Levesque’s face and say, what the fuck are you talking about? How can Punk going over “do nothing” for him?
I’m telling you, the WWE continues to be filled with “yes men” because they basically have no where else to go and I understand that you have to feed your family. As much as I can’t stand TNA’s booking decision’s, I try to support it occasionally in hopes that it eventually becomes a viable 2nd promotion.
And that’s exactly why I keep giving it a chance, despite always being disappointed. I want to like TNA sooo bad but with Russo’s crash TV booking, even minus some of the sex angles, it just doesnt’ do it for me. Maybe if Steiner, Nash, and Booker T (sorry to say since I used to like him) would go away, I could get more into it.
Okay, I’m going to defend HHH here…almost.
You can’t book UT/Punk the same way you’d book, say UT/HBK or UT/Cena, because Punk isn’t established to the point where fans buy him as a threat. Shawn has been around forever and touted as one of the all-time greats and thus people can suspend believe when at 185lbs he’s going toe-to-toe with 300lbs Undertaker. But as much as people like to believe that UFC has completely changed perceptions in such matters, when the majority of fans see ‘Big Guy A vs. Little Guy B’, unless Little Guy B is an established star whom WWE has booked to be an actual threat they tend to believe that Big Guy A is going to beat him in the world of WWE. And if he doesn’t, it just looks hokey and fake unless it’s done right. Otherwise, the fans don’t really buy into it at all and in the end Little Guy B doesn’t get elevated. Part of the problem is the WWE’s booking philosophy and certain people’s ‘big man’ obsessions, but it is what it is and you aren’t going to change those issues overnight. Plus, Undertaker is Undertaker and that’s the way it goes with the booking of his angles.
That said, you can book Punk against Undertaker in a way that elevates him and protects them both. Punk just has to be booked as a strategist who waits patiently, looks for an opening and exploits it and then runs away before Undertaker can make a comeback and gain momentum. Flair used to do that all the time against guys like Sting and Luger, and while not every heel can (or should) be booked this way I think Punk could pull it off. And honestly, I think he’d get more heat by subtly outsmarting and outrunning Undertaker than by beating him down with sloppy kicks and weak slaps. Or by having management in his back pocket and fixing his matches.
I’m surely not suggesting that Punk should be going toe to toe against a guy as big as UT. First of all, he’s the heel and it is pro wrestling so it wouldn’t make any sense. However, his series of matches against the UT have been embarrassing to say the least in terms of booking strategy. Punk has looked like he doesn’t belong against “the big boys”. Compare the way Miz was booked against Cena and compare the two. Now, I can understand Miz-Cena more because really, who is Miz? But Punk has been the hottest heel in the promotion for months and was ready to take the next step. How are fans ever going to perceive and buy into a new guy unless he’s booked strong? It’s the chicken and the egg theory here. HHH says fans wouldn’t buy it; but it’s because they book him so weak not because he hasn’t gotten himself over in the first place. It takes both parts of the equation to make a star. They could’ve booked Punk more like the first HBK-UT feud in which HBK came out on top, still champion, still strong, but never overtook UT physically.
At the end of the day, there’s no excuse to what they’ve done to Punk and if HHH would’ve been booked like this in ‘99, he wouldn’t of gotten over either. Take away his leadership of DX, marrying the bosses daughter, holding the title for a year beating all new comers cleanly (for the most part) and see if HE can get himself over. It’s a crock.
Oh, I agree that the booking of Punk has been terrible, but honestly I saw it coming when the return of the Undertaker was announced. I actually hoped they would do a UT/Kane feud while Punk established himself a bit with guys like Morrison and Mysterio, but no such luck. Punk needed to be protected, but I knew they wouldn’t because that’s WWE in 2009.
But even guys like Cena (remember RAW Homecoming) have trouble looking good against the Undertaker because of his style and the lopsided booking. In 1996-98, he knew how to protect his aura without eating people alive, but given his age and injuries he tends to save such performances for Wrestlemania and just smacks people around and make them look like jobbers the rest of the time. That’s okay if he’s feuding with Kane or Show, because their size protects them to a certain extent, but it’s lethal to guys like Punk and Kennedy.
“You can’t book UT/Punk the same way you’d book, say UT/HBK or UT/Cena, because Punk isn’t established to the point where fans buy him as a threat. Shawn has been around forever and touted as one of the all-time greats and thus people can suspend believe when at 185lbs he’s going toe-to-toe with 300lbs Undertaker.”
Do you know how you get a guy over as a threat? By having him BEAT SOMEONE. CM Punk beat’s the Undertaker, now Punk is on his level.
I mean, how did Cena get over? He beat the Big Show clean for a title.
How did Michaels get over? He beat Bulldog, he beat Sid, he won the Rumble twice, then he beat Bret Hart and he was a main eventer.
How did HHH get over? He beat everyone… LITERALLY…. Rock, Austin, HHH, Kane, UT, Big Show… and we that wasn’t enough he beat Mick Foley THEN retired him, then beat Foley, Rock and Big Show all in the same match.
But apparently Kofi Kingston’s going to get to the next level by beating up Orton’s car, and CM Punk is going to get over by jobbing to the Undertaker twice.
Did you read the rest of the post? I never suggested that Punk never beat Undertaker, only that it had to be done right. Obviously, if he’s going to ascend to the next level, he’s got to beat top guys. But having him go out there as a 200lbs heel taking 50% of the match from 300lbs Undertaker just doesn’t work, and really doesn’t help Punk as much as it hurts Taker.
And you know how Cena, HBK and (in the beginning) HHH won those matches as heels, right? It certainly wasn’t clean in the middle, and I don’t recall the matches with Show and Bulldog being ‘toe-to-toe’ but rather the heel outsmarting the babyface….which is my whole point.
Speaking of this interview, guess who ‘debuts’ on RAW tonight?
And what a debut it was! Kind of underscores the point of ECW basically being nonexistent, since no one knew or cared who this pale weirdo was even with the video package.
Yeah, very lame. It’s a good things he’s buddy buddy with H now. I’m sure he’ll be pushed to the moon sooner than later, deservedly or not.
When did HHH become RAW GM anyways. Every week he seems to have the ability to make matches. Funny.
Not to mention they just flushed a very promising ECW feud between Sheamus and Shelton Benjamin, just when it was getting off the ground. Terrible timing.
“Lawler thinks that 19:00 is too long for Orton to stall, but that never stopped Larry Zbyszko before.”
-ZING!
Best part of a good rant IMO
^^^^^^
Correction that was the second best part.
The best part of this rant was THIS quote:
“the ref is like “You’ve gotta give him 30 seconds!” Are you kidding? You’re gonna tell that to the guy who tried to murder someone with a PYRO BOARD?”
ROTFFLMFAO, Scott you owe me a new keyboard after spitting out my Pepsi laughing at that one.
The more intelligence insulting wrestling is, the funnier Scott Keith’s rants are.
The pyro board incident would only have resulted in third degree burns over 90% of Cena’s body. It’s not like any actual [b]bleeding[/b] would have been involved.
I like the Zbyszko thing because it was out of the blue. Anyone can make fun of Orton trying to blow up Cena because it is so silly/obvious (well unless he would have tried to blow him up with Cheet-um the Evil Midget’s Giant Bomb)- but to just pull the Larry Z card out of nowhere was great.
It was like telling bad wrestlers everywhere that they are not safe even if they are not in the match or have been retired for years. Somewhere a chill just went down Nord the Barbarians spine.
I think it’s also worth noting what a bunch of tools Triple H and Shawn looked like in their DX shirts. Every single other competitor is either in a blue Smackdown shirt or a red Raw shirt, competing in a match centered around brand loyalty/supremacy, and these two stick out like a sore thumb in their black and green t-shirts. It astounds me that they were able to get to the ring without somebody saying, “Shouldn’t you guys be wearing Raw t-shirts?”
I detest the H, but love Shawn, so this isn’t standard Triple H hatred. It’s inexcusable of Shawn as well.
Shawn at least had the shirt on him. Just not on his back. And I’m okay with that, if only because Shawn the character has made it almost a policy for himself to always do things just a little bit differently than everyone else.
I COULD accept that, if he just wore the shirt as a skirt, but didn’t wear the DX shirt.
I was there live at the show. Aside from a lot of bullshit related to Mellon Arena opening up the doors late and then dicking me around with my tickets (good: we got upgraded from upper balcony to a few rows off the floor; bad: our group of 4 got split up so 2 people had to remain in the balcony and at 1st our newer seats were obstructed by a mic stand/stop sign looking thing or something till we moved seats at the start of the 4-way), this was a really good show live.
The Iron Man match was extremely well received live, and the crowd was incredibly hot throughout. It did drag at parts but overall it more than delivered, and added new twists on a fairly established concept (e.g., the stuff with pyro). I never thought I’d see one Iron Man match live, let alone two (we also got the Benoit/HHH one from RAW).
Rey was actually getting boos, believe it or not. But the overall reaction to Batista’s turn was as intended, but not overwhelmingly so. I’ve been in the camp of people who have wanted Batista to turn for a while now, so this was fun for me. And the way it was done with cool and calculation was a nice touch.
The IC/US match was fun for what it was. They missed a big chance to have Miz really heel it up since he’s from Cleveland (”the mistake by the lake”), which to ‘burghers is analogous to (insert random heel) who challenged Hogan in the 80’s.
The Divas match was watchable. We had a direct view of Kelly^2’s ass.
The SD/RAW tag picked up at the end, and the real highlight was Jericho acting like he won everything by himself, and that it was the best moment of his life. I got some fun pix of that.
And thank God there were no “HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!!!” chants throughout. Hey, it’s the local team (I’m not Pitt-born and bred so I don’t bleed black and gold), but it gets ridiculous after a while. This is the 2nd time this happened (the other being the SD taping in May). It’s a frickin’ miracle, esp. considering we won earlier in the day, too.
Pitt sure has had some memorable moments: HBK/Razor ladder 2, Taker/Foley HiaC, debut of the Radicalz, Edge cashing in Money in the Bank, 2 Angle title victories, Angle outsmarting Brock by using Eric under the ring, APA doing the infamous shoot on the PE, Austin stunning Stacy Kiebler…
…Not to mention Bruno, Douglas, one of the Valiants, Zybyzko, DeNucci (and his training Foley)…
…Zombies…
Yay Pittsburgh!
(Plus there’s the whole “Steelers/6-Pack and Pens winning championships in the same year” thing)
Aren’t you also the home of legendary golfer Arnold Palmer?
“And a really good, high quality heel turn with solid motivation has been lacking for a while now, so good on them.”
CM Punk would like a word with you.
http://www.wrestlingforum.com/raw/477287-new-triple-h-interview-powerslam-magazine.html
Here’s the full interview with HHH for anyone who’s interested. Leave the forum immediately after reading the interview or your IQ will drop 20 points.
“What big star ever laid down for me?”
I guess Mick Foley and the Rock don’t exist anymore.
“That’s never been how business is done. Bret Hart didn’t put Shawn Michaels over and refused to get beat (at Survivor Series 1997); he wouldn’t lose the title. Now, that’s not a knock: that’s what happened.”
Bret put Shawn over no problem at Wrestlemania XII, and when Shawn had to do the same next year, he “lost his smile”. But who are we kidding, Bret Hart was just a big meanie.
That interview… Wow. Just wow. The worst part is that it’s totally off-the-cuff.
A few tidbits that I love:
“Right now, the talent’s not there: there is no depth”. Really? Maybe if guys like Hunter and UT stepped down more guys might be able to get over.
“I was there at King of the Ring 1996 when Austin made himself a star” I wonder if it still chaps his ass that Austin got the 96 KOTR and not Hunter?
I also appreciated him completely dodging the question about Booker T.
There’s also the part about Jeff Hardy looking competitive in his matches with HHH (which is true) before HHH eventually put him over. This I’m not so sure about. If he’s talking about last year, the only time Jeff beat HHH was when Koslov interfered – it wasn’t the ‘Jeff finally beats HHH’ big win that he describes. When Jeff finally won the world title, it was Edge who took the pin.
He’s referring – I believe – to Armageddon 2007, and their one-on-one match then. The whole story leading up to it was that Jeff hadn’t been able to get it done in the past. But Hunter put him over clean as a sheet in that match. And he’s right, it did mean more.
thejoeinme is right…and I was there for that match, too! Great match live, big pop for the Hardy win.
You mean the match in 2007 where Jeff got beat on the whole time, got the fluke pin, and Triple H laughed about it in the ring?
That match did nothing for Hardy. And that was the very first time they had faced each other since 2001.
Yeah I don’t remember a big run of Jeff-HHH matches before Armageddon 2007. I agree it was a big win but like MarSolo says, HHH took something away from it by smiling and laughing it off, even though he just lost a shot at the world title.
That quote about Bret-Shawn at Survivor Series 1997 is maddening. Firstly, and most importantly, that WAS NOT ABOUT ELEVATING ANYONE.
Shawn Michaels *was* already a huge star going into that match. He had recently been champion for the better part of 1996 during one of the company’s worst periods of business.
That quote makes it sound like HBK in the autumn of 1997 was some up-and-comer cracking the glass ceiling and mean Bret Hart wouldn’t lose the title to him. There are just so many things wrong with that statement, it’s insane.
Maddening is a good word. Quite the revisionist history HHH has. Just awful.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Triple H win the title from Big Show in the main event of the first RAW of the year 2000? Nearly ten years later (!!) and the main event of Raw is Triple H vs. Big Show? Wow.
You know what’s really sad, next ppv, HHH-HBK-Cena. Haven’t we had a configuration of these three feuding with each other for 3 years now? Oh, and UT-Big Show title match. Money!!
In the Attitude Era it was the same with Rock/HHH/Taker and only few ever complained. And UT-Show, correct me if I`m wrong, was that really announced for SS? Thought it woould be on SmackDown
Lest we forget — not only did all of those guys put him over, so did Stephanie McMahon.
I guess in another 20 years their kid will be grown, so there will be a younger McMahon for CM Punk to marry.
That just put a disturbing image of a 50-year-old CM Punk marrying a 22-year-old Aurora Rose Levesque.
“I’m still straight edge,” he can say holding his arm up suggestively ala Triple H when he told Vince, “It’s not a matter of if, but HOW MANY TIMES we consummated the marriage!” (Except this time Punk can say that to Triple H, ha!)
Somebody call up John Morrison–Big Bird would have been a better guest host last night. “You’re going to be wrestling… Kofi Johnston. Kofi Kingston! Kofi Kingston!”
The good news for Kofi is, if they’re going to destroy a car on behalf of your angle, then they want you to go places.
I know I would be absolutely devastated if I was compelled by unknown forces (the voices in my head perhaps?) to stand motionless and stare at a video screen while someone no more than a few hundred feet away from me destroyed my beloved gift of a stock car with my picture on it.
Hogan and Bischoff just signed with TNA.
HOLY SHIT.
This could be the beginning of the rise of TNA, or the beginning of the downfall.
Seeing as both have been predicted for the last eight years, I’m betting its neither.
Maybe they’ll get 1.2’s now.
…can’t wait for Russo and Hogan to interact.
I’m surprised it took Hogan this long to remember that he never got his heat back after being leveled by a Jeff Jarrett guitar several years ago..
Lame.
Hogan and Bischoff in TNA = Yawnnnnnnn.
AWRIGHT! Hogan, Bischoff, and Russo, together again at last!
Hogan vs. Suicide, book it, Russo
No, Hogan was already trying to book it on his own, remember? But he refused to the job (Laila Ali did a run-in).
I shouldn’t of laughed as hard as I just did, but damn that was funny.
And there is your post of the year.
Scott, you said:
“Once again the announcers lie about RAW being the “longest running episodic show in TV history,” which it’s not. The Simpsons and Law & Order have been running longer than RAW, and 60 Minutes has not only run longer but has produced more episodes.”
Yes, the Simpsons has been ON longer, but have fewer episodes. And 60 Minutes, it is not “episodic,” per se, but a news magazine. Episodic has to do with story arcs and such. I think that’s how they qualify their claim.
correction: “…but HAS fewer episodes…”
Undertaker vs. Big Show at SurSer. Whoopie!
Because clearly, two people who’ve never put on a decent or watchable match together in their careers are due to put on a ***** classic now.
It only took them one show to submarine any kind of buyrate for Survivor Series imo. I am surprised DX vs. Jerishow was put on the back burner after just that one Raw match. I figured we’d be subjected to that for another couple ppvs.
John Cena says he’s worried people tuning in will worry about possibly feeling like they’re watching Raw reruns if he’s wrestling two fairly new guys for the WWE Title, but not DX. How about people who feel like DX itself feels like the biggest rerun? Or who remember who Cena wrestled at consecutive WrestleManias just a few years back?
And, now, we get a rerun from last year’s Survivor Series: Big Show vs. Undertaker. Yippee.
“John Cena says he’s worried people tuning in will worry about possibly feeling like they’re watching Raw reruns if he’s wrestling two fairly new guys for the WWE Title, but not DX.”
That doesn’t even make sense. Are you sure he said that?
Sorry, firstly I wrote that very sloppily (I have a bad case of the flu, so there’s my excuse).
Point is, last night on Raw, Cena cut a promo vetoing any WWE Title match against the two non-Orton members of Legacy, saying that it would be “close enough” to wrestling Orton again that people tuning in would think they were watching reruns of Raw.
An hour later, the main event for Survivor Series was made: Cena vs. HBK vs. HHH.
I swear, I can’t make this stuff up.
Point is, last night on Raw, Cena cut a promo vetoing any WWE Title match against the two non-Orton members of Legacy, saying that it would be “close enough” to wrestling Orton again that people tuning in would think they were watching reruns of Raw.
An hour later, the main event for Survivor Series was made: Cena vs. HBK vs. HHH.
It’d be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad. I know it’s not gonna happen, but at this point I’d love for Shane McMahon to buy into TNA. Anything to light a fire under somebody’s ass.
Oh he said it last night during a promo? That would explain why I didn’t hear it: I tune him out when he starts talking. I find him to be terrible at cutting promos, or at least the promos they write for him. They’re all over the place and I don’t believe a word of what he says because it doesn’t sound like he believes a word of what he says.
Why is everyone ragging on the Bragging Rights trophy? As I recall, for over 20 years now, teams have been forming and fighting each other for no discernible reason, save for a vague concept of “Survival”.
Money. It’s all about the money.
Obviously this has been de-emphasized over the years with the destruction of the titles, but the general rule used to be that in the world of wrestling the various titlists made more money than the non-champions. But just like the concept of the ‘winner’s purse’, this idea has been abandoned in favor of vague notions like ‘brand loyalty’ which don’t really hold up under scrutiny. Sometimes you can do the Angle/Joe or UT/HBK build, but in the case of the Bragging Rights match, a cash prize would have provided a believable motivation for someone like Cody Rhodes to team with two guys he tried to maim a few weeks beforehand. Because honestly, why else should he care about the ‘RAW brand’ winning? What’s in it for him?
I’m far from a TNA mark and I don’t really give a shit about Hogan signing, but with the addition of Bischoff and the speculation in the Observer about a time slot switch for Impact to Mondays at 9pm, isn’t this pretty much the biggest wrestling story in the past two years?
I can’t imagine Spike would let them move to Mondays. Their 1.0 rating is almost exclusively people who watch RAW as well. At least I thought that was the survey done in the past. Can’t remember where I read that. It would be awesome though with ROH on at 8pm too.
It is pretty exciting for this reason — not so much for Hogan’s inclusion, but for Bischoff. I doubt it will amount to anything, but having SOMEONE whose run a decent competition with Vince McMahon, that has something to prove, involved in the business side of TNA will be interesting.
Every time the TNA higher-ups have been asked about competing directly with WWE their answer boils down to “well it would be foolish to try”, and I can see where they’re coming from when their flagship program is barely beating Superstars every week.
If Bischoff ends up having any backstage power, though, I can’t see him buying into that school of thought. I agree that it would be a hard sell for Spike given the ratings at the moment, but I think he’d at least try to sell them on the idea that going head-to-head with Raw would mean MORE viewers (probably for both shows, but he’d probably leave that part out). It’s a counterintuitive quirk that may apply only to wrestling, on cable, on Monday nights, but I think Impact would see a significant jump.
Then again, maybe it would be the death knell for TNA. I’d just like to see a bit more competitive recklessness out of this company on the business end, and not the “paying money to Kevin Nash in the year 2009″ type of recklessness.
All reports i’ve read do not have Bischoff being involved in creative in any capacity.
But we know where the power lies, brother.
A move to Monday could work-Raw has more moments than I can count where I want to flip the channel. If TNA has something worth watching, it would be possible to hook people in. If they wanted to compete seriously in ratings, noting where Bischoff was once successful, I would think they would have to go live at least once in a while and stop taping their shows 3 weeks in advance. Of course, that would drive up costs significantly so who knows if that would even benefit the company as a whole.
A wrestling organization named “TNA” is never going to be mainstream. I don’t care if Hogan and Bischoff are there or not.
I always wondered what WCW would be like in 2009, and I guess this it. TNA is an incredibly stupid company that should’ve given up aspirations to be the WWE a long time ago. I could understand poaching current WWE stars…but assembling the WCW roster and sprinkling in Mick Foley and Kurt Angle?
This move will neither kill them or elevate them. They’ll be the same old TNA with the same trainwreck TV show and now main events recycled from 1998.
“A wrestling organization named “TNA” is never going to be mainstream. I don’t care if Hogan and Bischoff are there or not.”
I agree completely. The name was a joke when they started the company, and I have no idea how the name has survived as long as it has.
To start being taken even remotely seriously as a promotion, TNA has got to have a name change. What’s wrong with NWA?
“Unfortunately, Batista gets so distracted by the dark side of the Force that a chokeslam from Undertaker gets two.”
Damn, line of the year right there, lol.