The SmarK Retro Rant for WWF Survivor Series 1993
So since I'm at that point with Monday Night RAW now and the original rant badly needs a redo, here you are. Plus my theater isn't showing Bragging Rights (can you blame them?) and I don't feel like spending $50 on the HD PPV, so this is what you get from me today instead.
- Live from Boston, MA.
- Your hosts are Vince and for the last time on a WWF PPV, Bobby Heenan.
Adam Bomb, IRS, Diesel and Rick Martel v. Randy Savage, Marty Jannetty, 1-2-3 Kid and Razor Ramon.
Can you IMAGINE the drug bills on the babyface side? They're gonna make some coke dealer VERY happy. So anyway, Mr. Perfect was supposed to be captaining the babyfaces, but he disappeared from the WWF, leaving us with Savage. Interesting how Vince still didn't think enough of Savage to put him in the main event instead of the opener. Ramon starts with Martel to continue that heated rivalry and they trade wristlocks, but Martel elbows out. He gets a bodypress, but Razor rolls through for two and hits him with the blockbuster slam for two. Ramon gives him a series of atomic drops and Martel tags out to Adam Bomb. Bomb overpowers Ramon (nuclear power > cocaine + alchohol) and wants a test of strength to really hammer the point home. See, now Ramon's character is all about machismo, so it makes sense that he'd be easy to sucker into that kind of thing. Ramon suplexes out of it, triggering a miscue between the heels and a total meltdown. Luckily IRS calms things down, and Bomb starts taking it out on the Kid instead. Great bumps from Kid as Bomb and Diesel tee off on him. He knew EXACTLY how to make them look like monsters. Diesel gets a gutwrench suplex (Crowd: OOOOOH!) and the big boot (Crowd: OOOOOH!), but Kid comes back with a flying headscissors, and Savage gets the hot tag. He runs wild and destroys everyone, gets rid of everyone but Diesel, and then finishes Big Kev with the big elbow at 10:18. Great stuff.
Martel tries attacking Macho and gets nowhere, so he lets IRS have a go. Savage gets a bodypress and a pair of clotheslines and brings in Razor, but Martel gets a cheapshot from the apron to take over. He drops elbows on the back and Bomb comes in for the double-team. IRS drops an elbow and gets a legdrop for two, and we hit the chinlock. Ramon fights out and brings Savage in, and he goes up to finish, but Crush distracts him and he's pinned at 16:46. Glad they didn't go with the wussy countout finish. In the Coliseum Video EXCLUSIVE version, Savage heads back, past the Gorilla Position, and searches for Crush. Riveting. Back to the ring, Adam Bomb beats on Marty and Martel goes to an abdominal stretch, but misses a blind charge. Back to Razor, and he chokeslams IRS and finishes with the Razor's Edge at 19:32. Martel attacks from behind and it triggers a huge brawl, allowing IRS to nail Razor with the briefcase, giving us the countout at 20:41.
Martel goes after the Kid and they do a nice stalemate sequence before Kid goes to the arm. Over to Bomb, and this time Kid counters with speed and puts him on the floor, then tries a tope suicida…and gets caught. Whoops. Nice spot. Back in, Bomb levels him with the slingshot clothesline, but misses a blind charge and gets rolled up for two. Kid fires away with kicks, but can't get the tag to Marty. Martel hits Kid with a gutwrench for two. Martel goes up and gets caught, and finally it's hot tag Marty. Into the turnbuckles for two. Kid & Jannetty get the double elbow on Martel and Kid finishes with a sunset flip at 25:49. Marty with another one on Bomb to end it at 26:02. Survivors: 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty. Boring middle portion, but the rest was great stuff. ***1/2 Kid & Jannetty would of course have one last upset in them a few weeks later on RAW.
Meanwhile, Ray Combs interviews the Hart family. It's so sad having to shoehorn Shawn Michaels into this feud. As if anyone would ever care about a Bret v. Shawn match at Survivor Series.
Bret, Keith, Owen and Bruce Hart v. The Blue Knight (Greg Valentine), The Black Knight (Jeff Gaylord), The Red Knight (Barry Horowitz) and Shawn Michaels
The Hart women are at ringside and Georgia has a crying baby with a soother. I know it can't be Teddy at this point, but MAN the resemblance is astounding. All he would need to do is get fired by the WWF multiple times and it would be uncanny. Shawn starts with Bruce and gets run into the Red Knight as a result. Bruce controls Shawn with an armbar and it's over to Keith, who reverses a suplex into a small package for two. Keith works on the arm, but Shawn brings in Red. Owen quickly dominates and hiptosses him, so it's over to Black. He gets triple-teamed by the Harts, so Blue comes in. Bret clotheslines him for two and the Harts work him over. Bruce gets caught with a cheapshot and Red gets a butterfly suplex for two. Black pounds Bruce down, but falls victim to a backslide for two. Shawn dumps Bruce and drags him back in, but Bruce hits his finisher (a clothesline, no really) and makes the tag to Bret. Bret rolls up Black for two and gets a small package for two. Middle rope elbow gets two. Owen hits him with the leg lariat and a brawl erupts, as all the heels collide and Owen finishes Black with a missile dropkick at 10:48.
Bret works on Red's legs, and Keith continues on with that. Yes, this match CAN get more boring, why? Here's the problem with it, besides the obvious one of replacing Jerry Lawler at the last minute with Shawn Michaels: Clearly the dynamic of the original match was supposed to be the Hart Family being forced to eliminate all the Knights before they could even touch Lawler, but here Shawn actually started the match, so there's no payoff. Anyway, Blue works on Keith's arm, not even trying to hide his identity. Ray Combs, on commentary, gets the unintentional shoot comment of the show when he notes "This is painful to watch." Word. The beating of Keith just drags on and on until Bret gets the hot tag and finishes Red with the Sharpshooter at 18:00. Blue attacks Bret and tosses him, and back in Shawn takes over on Bret. Back elbow gets two. And it's time for the chinlock. Over to Blue, who gets two. Owen comes in and hammers away in the corner, and Shawn bumps out and takes a punch from Stu. Owen follows with a pescado, and finishes Blue back in the ring with a Sharpshooter at 23:44. So it's Shawn by himself, and he superkicks Bruce for two. Bret comes in and whips Shawn around the ring, and gets the legsweep for two. Shawn goes to the eyes, so Bret tags Owen in, and Owen accidentally collides with the blinded Bret and Shawn rolls him up for the pin at 27:25. And so begins Owen's heel turn. Bruce clotheslines Shawn for two and goes to a sleeper, and then Bret comes in and tries to finish, but Shawn runs away to end it at 30:55. THANKFULLY. *1/2
SMW Tag titles: The Rock N Roll Express v. The Heavenly Bodies
Still weird, even in the age of WWE owning everything. The Bodies toss Ricky and get dragged out of the ring themselves as a result, and Ricky hits them with a tope. Back in, Robert controls Del Ray with a flying headscissors and Ricky comes in for the double elbow. Pritchard comes in and hammers away in the corner, but Ricky hits the Bodies with hiptosses. The RNR do double monkey-flips out of the corner and the row-boat spot, which was just looking archaic even in 1993. The Express were never really able to reinvent themselves for the 90s and it shows. Ricky controls Del Ray with armdrags, and heel miscommunication results in the Express clearing the ring. Back in, Pritchard catches Ricky with a powerbomb ("Kind of like Adam Bomb's Atom Smasher" notes JR, neutered by Corporate even back then). Over to Del Ray for some tasteful grinding, and Ricky gets tossed and moonsaulted by Del Ray. Back in, that gets two. Powerslam gets two, as Pritchard cuts off a comeback attempt. Del Ray with a snap suplex. A side slam into a Pritchard bulldog gets two. See, now fans GET this stuff. The subtle 80s offense and goofy spots fade away after a while, but take Ricky Morton and beat the everloving fuck out of him and people will POP. Del Ray tries a powerbomb and Morton reverses to a rana for two. He gets a small package on Pritchard for two. Del Ray comes in with a moonsault press for two, but Ricky DDTs both Bodies, and it's hot tag Robert. Ricky rolls up Del Ray, but Pritchard tosses him for a nice bump. Robert calls for the DQ, but that's not illegal in the WWF and I bet no one watching in the arena got that whole sequence. RNR with a double dropkick on Pritchard, but Del Ray hits Robert with the racket and the Bodies regain the titles at 13:40. Crowd didn't get it, but as an SMW fan I was digging it. ***1/4 Now, if Ricky and Robert had really wanted to go national again, there was a way. A couple of years after this Jerry Lawler brought them into Memphis against PG-13, and they wrestled as pretty much carbon copies of Tully & Arn, managed by a manic Mark Curtis, and THAT was the reinvention that could have made them stars again. If you've never seen that match, I'd highly recommend checking it out because it's the craziest shit ever.
Bam Bam Bigelow, The Headshrinkers & Bastion Booger v. The Doinkwhackers & Doinks on a Mission.
Truly high concept comedy here. Doink himself is not even involved in the match, so this must be near the point when Matt Borne left. Seems to be a running theme tonight. I don't think anyone's ever actually nailed his departure date down. The crowd chants "We want Doink", clearly annoyed by bait-and-switch once they realize that Doink is not actually in the match, but the babyfaces just kind of act like they're cheering for them. So onto the alleged comedy, as Butch hits Samu with a water balloon and pins him at 3:00. Just accept it. Over to Booger, who drops a leg on Butch, and Bigelow chokes away on the ropes. Booger sits on him for the pin attempt, but gets distracted by a banana and gets pinned by Mabel at 5:58. Over to Fatu, who is armed with Afa's turkey dinner, and hammers on Luke with it. Mo comes in on a scooter, however, and Bam Bam's had it. Fatu goes up with the flying splash, but slips on a banana peel and gets pinned at 8:53. Yes, THEY LITERALLY did the "slip on a banana peel" finish. Bam Bam is alone and slugs it out with Mabel, then puts him down with a shoulderblock. The Doinks all dogpile on him and pin him at 10:55, however. Probably one of the worst matches in the history of the Survivor Series. -*** The "real" Doink appears on the video screen to taunt Bigelow afterwards, but I don't think it's Borne.
Lex Luger, Undertaker, Rick Steiner and Scott Steiner v. Ludvig Borga, Yokozuna, Jacques and Crush
C'mon, where's Undertaker's flag outfit to go along with the rest of the team? What a prima donna. Scott starts with Jacques and hits him with an overhead suplex for two, and we're over to Rick. Jacques wisely brings in Yokozuna, but Rick overpowers him and puts him on the floor. Back in, the Fanatics pound on Rick in their corner, but he goes up and hits Borga with a flying forearm for two. He goes up again with a flying bodypress, but Borga rolls through for the pin at 5:08. That looked REALLY bad. I think they had to go home early there because of an injury to Rick. So Scott comes in and presses Jacques into Crush's arms. Jacques playing the coward who hides behind the bigger teammates is pretty funny stuff. Wrong match for it, but funny. Crush hammers on Scott, but walks into a butterfly bomb and Scott clotheslines him down for two. And here's Macho Man, but Crush doesn't bite. He works on Scott's leg, but now Savage fights his way through the Usual Gang of Idiots again, and the brawl is on. Crush is counted out at 11:39.
Back in the ring, Jacques holds a rear chinlock on Scott and puts him down with an elbow for two. Piledriver gets two. Hot tag to Luger and he goes to the middle rope with an elbow for the pin at 14:06. Really? Well I guess this IS the event where people traditionally get pinned by clotheslines. So now we just need to get rid of the last of the deadwood in the form of Scott Steiner, and here's Borga to do that. Borga puts him down with a clothesline and hits a corner splash, then clotheslines him again on the way down. Borga to the top for AIR FINLAND (I don't even know what that might have been, but it needs to exist), but Scott superplexes him for two. Yokozuna has had enough of this bullshit and no-sells a Frankensteiner attempt, then finishes Scott with the Hulkbuster at 17:00.
So finally the actual main event, with Luger & Undertaker v. Yokozuna & Borga. Yoko chokes away on the ropes, but misses the big fat splash and Luger slugs away. Yoko clotheslines him down, however, and Borga comes in for a punt to the ribs. Bobby's line about Undertaker coming up with a basketball team "for guys six feet and under" actually makes Vince stop and think for a second. He will be missed on RAW so I'll enjoy him while I can. Yoko whips Luger around and then misses the corner splash, and finally Undertaker comes into the match 21:00 in. DDT for Yokozuna, but he walks into a belly to belly suplex. He keeps sitting up and Yoko keeps putting him down, finally getting the butt splash. A second one misses, however, and they fight to the floor for the double countout at 23:24. LAAAAAAAME. I know why and where they were going with it, but still, LAAAAAME. So that leaves Borga and Luger and you'd think Luger can't possibly fuck THIS one up. Borga with a sideslam for two. Delayed suplex gets two. Powerslam gets two. Clotheslines get two. Luger comes back for a double clothesline that puts both guys down, but now Fuji gives Borga the salt bucket to take over. That gets two. Luger makes the ALL AMERICAN COMEBACK with a powerslam for two, and the STAINLESS STEEL FOREARM OF DEATH finishes at 27:58. And then the giant WTF ending sees Santa Claus coming out to celebrate with Luger. Yeah, OK. **1/2
The Pulse:
1993 was a BAD year for PPV. Recommendation to avoid.
Not to nitpick but Razor Ramon was the captain in the opening match not Mr. Perfect. I don’t remember but why wasn’t Perfect in that match? Was it the start of his bad back version 2.0? Because he wasn’t seen or heard from until WM10.
Didn’t Undertaker have the American Flag on the inside lining of his coat for this match?
I don’t know if he did for the match, or if it was just when he came out on Superstars and they announced he was replacing Tatanka. What was really sweet is that it was the old school 13 star american flag inside his coat in what is probably the coolest thing on the short list of subtle touches the WWF ever did.
Of course, once they brought in Kane and told the background story of the Undertaker it didn’t make any sense at all, but then there wasn’t much of the Kane/Undertaker back story that made any sense, really.
I actually like this show, but it may be more nostalgia for the live viewing and time, not the actual show. And looking at the lineup here, their roster seems quite thin since two teams were made up of mostly outsiders, and two outsider teams fought for the SMW tag title.
Taker only had the american flag coat the time he was introduced as the replacement.
And by the way, Taker came within a fraction of an inch from getting KILLED by the 2nd banzai drop. He did the zombie sit up to avoid it (great visual), but seriously, he had waited a TENTH OF A SECOND longer, he would have been KILLED.
Also, Bobby Heenan’s commentary (especially in the Harts/Knights match) was LEGENDARY.
The best part was Stu wearing a Bruins jacket that had a big bear head on the back, and Heenan saying it was a picture of Helen. I still laugh about that one.
LOL, that cracks me up just reading it.
“Helen, I’m damp!”
“Don’t hit him in the head- he’s a Hart!”
Bobby never showed anyone in that family any mercy.
Maaan, I remember as a kid I rented this PPV from my local video store, and totally loved it. Kids are stupid.
Question for those reading…which PPV was it, must have been a SurvivorSeries? Where Lawler took on Doink, and Doink had 3 mini-Doinks, and Lawler and 3 mini-Lawlers. I always thought it was 93, but, nope.
- Caliber
scrublife.wordpress.com – Top 5 – Horror sequels that surpass the originals, Zombie movies, and movie scenes from my child hood. Also some cool wrasslin’ stuff as well. Get your diggin it’ on.
That would be next year, SS ‘94, with Lawler and his midgets Cheesy, Wheezy, and Sleezy taking on Doink and his midgets – Dink, Wink, and Pink.
Also – while I love redos, the original rant for this had one of my favorite Scott Keith over the top descriptions (”God Bless America!” God Bless Lex Luger!” God Bless Vince McMahon and Titan Sports and all related subsideraries!”) Still laugh at it to this day.
It was the next year’s show, ‘94. Although some like it in a old-school, carney sort of way, I think it was one of the worst matches I ever saw. Not that I’m against some old-school, comedy matches now and again (some of the stuff Jim Cornette did with MX, for example), but the timing on Kings-Doinks was just horrid. Horrible way to spend 20 minutes.
Blood has made it’s way back to the WWE. I dont think Cena would blad the top of his head – probably from the monitor shot 10 minutes in but its coming right from his scalp. Orton is wearing Cena’s blood on his face now too.
*blade
Might have been accidental considering how fast they had doctors out there to rub the Vaseline.
Yeah, seems strange they’d have blood in this match but not in any of the HIACs since SummerSlam last year.
“Interesting how Vince still didn’t think enough of Savage to put him in the main event instead of the opener.”
Sarcasm alert?
It’s funny because over ten years ago, a Scott Keith-type of reporter would have noted Savage wasn’t Main Event material anymore, and was doing the “right thing” putting over new superstars. Not busting on Scott for the comment, but I do remember the big trend arounf 1997-98 when Savage was actually doing some upper midcard Main Events for WCW is when someone would have noted Vince not using Savage as a sign of Savage being too old to draw in the WWF/E anymore.
Of course, the real reason Savage is in the opener, because Perfect’s exit was probably a last minute deal. Savage was more or less semi-retired at that point. Vince really wanted a “new generation” of stars, and Savage did interfer in the Main Event against Crush to set up their Wrestlemania match.
I just like to know what happened with Savage and Vince really to make Macho Man, outside of a DVD set hosted by Matt Friggin Striker and Maria. I mean was Mene Gene sick or too busy to some quick insert shots? I still don’t buy the whole “I screwed Steph” – unless Vince didn’t know at the time. I mean Savage did kind of say on a shoot promo around 2003-05 that he had banged Stephanine long before Triple H had. Maybe Vince thinks its true, or Stephanine (being a bitch) lied and told daddy Savaged “f***ed” her.
Here’s a clip of the RNR Express playing Arn & Tully against PG-13 in ‘95 that Scott was referencing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssmlpoNswOQ
Funny fact: “Bobby’s line about Undertaker coming up with a basketball team “for guys six feet and under”‘ actually sort of happened. Anyone remember Phar-mor? The guy who owned it tried to start one of those leagues…
Didn’t Santa also appear at Survivor Series 1992? So that would make Santa Claus appearing at SS kind of a Thanksgiving tradition. Still better than the Gooker though.
Apparently Borga actually injured Steiner in this match, which is why Steiner repaid the debt on a house show right before Royal Rumble 1994, which is why the storylines got changed.
“Your hosts are Vince and for the last time on a WWF PPV, Bobby Heenan.”
Wrestlemania X-8 Gimmick Battle Royal!
Well, for a whole PPV smartass. I mean you don’t claim that Duggan was the commentator for WMVII
X-7 while we are correcting people here!
Whatever. It was the freakin’ gimmick battle royal.
Maybe it’s because I’m a big kid at heart or always had a strange fanboy liking to Mabel/Visera, but I’m always entertained by the Doinks match. Yeah, as far as wrestling goes, it’s terrible, but it was always entertaining to me.
The same goes for that Kaientai/Oddities match from…Summerslam ‘98, I think? A friend of mine dubbed the perfect word for those kind of matches: bizarrecore. This also falls into bWo or Al Snow territory.
Also, I know the game of “Who were the Knights” is always argued, and I’m sure Scott’s 100% right here, but for some reason, I thought Glen “Kane” Jacobs was one of them. It would’ve been right around this time for him, too.
There was a long debate about it back in the day, but 10 years of watching Kane matches and the Black Knight’s giant ponytail makes it abundantly clear that it’s not Jacobs.
No problem. I haven’t even seen the match or PPV in at least a decade. I swear, the Knights argument is almost as common as “Isn’t the original Ultimate Warrior dead?”
Also, what WAS the reason for Lawler not being in this match? As Scott said, the dynamic of the match is completely wrong, as a result.
He was facing statutory rape charges or something like that around this time. I think he was charged with messing around with a 13 year old but the charges were dropped.
Probably should have just waited for the re-rant until they release the show on dvd.
Sidebar: Survivor Series Volume 3 is going to be ‘97, ‘98, ‘99, ‘00, and ‘01 (Invasion “payoff”).
That is a pretty awesome set. Especially because ‘01 is a pretty tough DVD to find ($30 used? Meh).
It might be a fine set but it isn’t available until sometime next year, I guess?
As for Cena’s blood, from the newz sites:
The word after Bragging Rights is that WWE officials panicked when John Cena got opened hard way by the microphone shot because of their new “no blood we’re rated PG” policy – which is why they actually stopped the clock to glue the cut shut as it wasn’t a scripted part of the match. It’s also believed the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission could have taken issue with the blood.
“It’s also believed the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission could have taken issue with the blood.”
Why do State Commissions have any involvement with Pro Wrestling, sorry, Sports Entertainment nowadays?
Don’t know but here’s an extended version from a different site:
During last night’s Iron Man match at Bragging Rights, a spot where John Cena got busted open caused a lot of commotion backstage.
The incident happened when Randy Orton hit Cena with the corner of a microphone. Vince McMahon ordered Cena to be cleaned up immediately after seeing the blood. WWE’s John Laurinaitis along with trainers rushed to ringside to clean him up, as WWE currently has a very strict “no blood” policy as part of their TV-PG programming initiative.
With their first attempt, Cena wasn’t aware what they intended to do so he played babyface and mounted offence against Randy Orton. The cut was finally glued shut and cleaned up after the next fall.
Cena and Orton were scheduled to work among the crowd and WWE wanted to ensure there was no health issue with a bloody wrestler among fans. If it were to have happened, the issue would have been taken seriously by the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission and likely used as more ammunition against Linda McMahon’s senate campaign.
As the blood was unplanned, WWE decided to stop the clock during the bout as it wasn’t known how long the clean up operation on Cena would take.
There are some matches which need to get an extra star for commentary when reviewing them. The Harts/Knights match should be **1/2 as Heenan “carried” that match. Whoever has not seen that match needs to see it just for Heenan.
Agreed that was some of Heenan’s best work. Of course absolutely nothing would ever top his work in the 1992 Royal Rumble. That was just classic stuff from the opening match to the ending interview with Flair and Perfect.
as Scott mentioned in the RAW rants leading up to the show the WWF hyped the shit out of his PPV and me and my friends/cousins were *majorly* psyched for it back in 1993. And we were totally disappointed. Not that this is a real bad show or anything but the WWF was basically promising an all time event here and just delivered run of the mill stuff
I remember being particularly disappointed in the Harts/Shawn match as we expected big name guys underneath the Knights masks and thought something big was going to go down
all the bullshit eliminations in the main event didn’t help either
Heenan, of course, is the MVP of the show. The line about Helen/Stu’s Bruins jacket still kills me to this day. People always mention Rumble 92 but his performance here is only a tad below that in quality entertainment terms
As a 10 year old watching the event live I thought it was a pretty good PPV, yet was bored as hell of the SMW Tag Title match mainly because I didn’t know any of the teams and of course the Doink match was crap.
But the Knight match was a huge let down. Like you I was expecting the Knights to be somewhat ‘big’ names and thought the Harts were going to unmask them and show everyone who they really were (Bret made a comment like that in the interview before the match). Other than that I enjoyed the opening match and was going nuts for the Undertaker parts in the main event. Again I was 10, so sue me, haha.