Scott's Blog of Doom

Michael's Extreme Review #12

September 29, 2009

Boston, Massachusetts

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Hey Scott
2 questions - 1) Any reason why, other than the three-week cup of coffee with the title in 2002, HBK has never been given (to my memory) another championship reign since his return?  And 2), Do they ever surprise a wrestler who is otherwise not expecting to win the title by having the match end in victory before he thinks he was booked to lose?  For example, When Kurt Angle won his first title in 2000 via pinfall vs the Rock, would the bookers ever see fit to say he's going to lose, then have the pinfall be counted?  Seems far-fetched, but it'd make the celebration more spontaneous, or just to mess with a wrestler they're giving a big honor to.  Thoughts?

 

1)  Shawn has been offered (I believe they almost got to the begging stage a few times) the title on numerous occasions and it’s his for the asking, but he simply doesn’t want it.  And who WOULD want the title at this point?  It’s just a prop that gets changed 12 times a year (if we’re lucky) and would mean he’d have to do a full schedule instead of being HHH’s wacky sidekick who makes millions of dollars a year.  My admiration of him has grown exponentially since his un-retirement, believe me. 

2)  Um, well for years Shawn Michaels said exactly that sort of scenario happened to him in Montreal. Shelton Benjamin more or less didn’t know he was getting the IC title from Chris Jericho at the first Taboo Tuesday abomination until they went out and they told him, but that’s a special case.  At any rate, doing something like you describe would be an extraordinarily bad idea because any time you’re deviating from the plan, many things can go wrong and someone can think it’s a shoot and freak out.  Like Bret Hart did, for instance.  Even worse, telling one guy one finish and another guy another finish (when they can barely figure out coherent endings to normal matches) is a recipe for disaster.  Wrestlers are actors, if they can’t fake a good celebration for the pretend title, they don’t deserve it. 

Are there any shows from the 90s who you think have not aged well? I remember you being high on Summerslam 93, yet your recent rant shows otherwise.
Personally, I think WrestleMania 12 (iron man match), has not aged well. Ditto Judgment Day 2000, although the Rock/HHH is still great --and not on any dvd, might I add.
Also, is a Survivor Series 1993 rant coming ?

I don’t recall ever being high on Summerslam 93, aside from the two matches I really like on the show.  Wrestlemania 12 wasn’t really good to begin with, so it’s hard to say it aged poorly, but the Iron Man match is definitely not something I ever want to watch again.

Anything from 1999 in the dying Russo era of the WWF is just brutal now and I don’t know how I ever enjoyed it in the first place, but that’s about the most obvious example I can think of.

As for Survivor Series, there’s still the original rant, but I have the show handy so I can redo it if people are really excited about it as we get to that point with RAW.  I would not exactly be elated about having to sit through it again, but whatever, I’ve seen worse.  I will let the poll dictate my actions.

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The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW - October 25 1993 (plus a BONUS match!)

- Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY.

- Your hosts are Vince & Bobby, as Savage is injured due to Crush.

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OK, so I fired up the DVR and watched the stakeout episode of Parks & Recreation, and I don’t know what happened over the summer but this show suddenly got REALLY good.  Seriously, Leslie crinkling her nose and going “NO NO NO NO NO!” at the police station was a brilliant bit of business, and Ron trying to throw the cheeseburger into his mouth may be one of the funniest jokes I’ve seen in months.  Suddenly everyone has a handle on their characters and it’s rolling.  Unfortunately, Parks & Rec is reputed to be #1 with a bullet on NBC’s hitlist of soon-to-be axed shows, but I’ll keep watching.

Anyway, I also saw movies today! 

Pandorum.  I’d say “More like PanBOREum” but it wasn’t really boring except for the middle portion.  My main problem is that there are two major plot twists and I was about 30 minutes ahead of the plot on each one, and I hate that.  I either want to be behind the plot so I have to figure it out later, or right there figuring it out at the same time as the characters.  The premise (two astronauts awaken on a barren ship not knowing who they are or what they’re supposed to be doing) is a great one, but after an hour of parceling out little bits of information, the movie suddenly grinds to a halt and fills in all the blanks for us.  Like, everyone in the movie literally stops what they’re doing and explains the whole story to the characters and audience.  Oh, and there’s martial arts fighting with zombies and parkour.  So it’s got that going on.  I’m not exactly sure what audience they’re aiming for with it, although it steals from loads of other better movies, so it’s kind of a “something for everyone” sci-fi thriller horror type of thing.  It’s fine, but it doesn’t live up to the mystery it tries to build at the beginning. 

Also, there was an episode of Good Eats on Food Network this afternoon where Alton was spoofing Sweeney Todd, which caused me to remember that I bought that DVD when it came out and then never watched it.  Plus the spoof was interesting enough that I wanted to see the movie.  And wouldn’t you know, the movie was pretty fucking great too!  Who knew Johnny Depp could sing?  It’s got the kind of morbid sense of humor about itself I was expecting, the plot is interesting and given that I’ve never seen the original musical or anything, it kept me guessing.  Kind of like Kill Bill: The Musical.  I feel validated now having bought it on a blind guess, and would heartily recommend it to friends who aren’t squeamish and want a musical that’s not Mamma Mia or Fame.

The SmarK Anthology Rant for WWF Summerslam 1993

- As promised, I'm finally getting around to this one, to go along with the 1993 RAW rants. Once again this is the version from the Summerslam Anthology, which is the PPV version without all the annoying licensed entrance music and references to the WWF.

- Live from Auburn Hills, MI.

- Your hosts are Vince & Bobby.

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From longtime reader Joe Petrow…

Hi Scott.  Your comment on Crush's heel turn got me going on yet another list...Top Ten Explanations For a Heel Turn!  Actually, these are explanations that are _too_ good, as they result in fans empathizing with the heel.  Not surprisingly, a lot of them involve Hogan, since it's so easy to understand siding against him.  I admit that it is very slanted towards 20th century WWF, but great explanations from WCW/NWA (Ron Garvin's "I will do anything for money"?  Pez Whatley going off because of an offhand remark that he's black?  The flavor-of-the-week joining the nWo "just because"?) or anytime in this decade (Steve Austin's "You don't deserve an explanation?"  Goldberg's...what the heck _was_ the reason for him turning heel anyway?) were hard to come by.  Anyhow...here ya go.

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My poor DVR is getting overloaded as too many new shows overlap and I just don’t have time to sample everything I want this fall.  Thus, some stuff’s gotta go.  Random thoughts thus far on the stuff on my pull list…

- Glee is, I’m not ashamed to say, my favorite new show in a long time.  The writing is sharp and witty, the soundtrack is amazing, and the situations are just so off-the-wall (the Acafellas last week killed me) that you have to love it.  Plus it’s got Jane Lynch at her Jane Lynch-iest.  This one definitely gets the green light.

- LA Ink.  I fucking hate this show so much and wish Kat Von D and her snooty tattoo artists would all die in the proverbial fire so they’ll shut the fuck up about Aubrey already, but I get overruled and have to watch it.  Miami Ink was 100 times better because it was actually about the tattooing and not bitchy Kat and whatever cause is fashionable for her to support that week and all the fake drama.  I want to delete it, but there it is.

- The Vampire Diaries.  I had to sit through Twilight and this was a lot less painful than that, so I judge it a success.  It’s no True Blood, unfortunately, but then very few shows can aspire to the kind of high-camp trash awesomeness standard set by Bill and Sookie.  It shall remain.

- Cougar Town.  LOVE IT.  You can definitely see the Scrubs influence here and this was way funnier than any episode of Scrubs in a good long time.  This one stays.

- Parks & Recreation.  Leslie spontaneously breaking into “Parents Just Don’t Understand” last week was adorable, but it’s gonna be a victim of too many shows and not enough DVR slots, I’m afraid.  Probably (sorry to say) so will The Office, because it’s been 5 seasons and as great as the Michael Scott Paper Company storyline was, I’m thinking I want to get out before it jumps the shark. 

- Hell’s Kitchen.  Longtime blog readers know how fond I am of this show, as they’ve finally figured out that the point is not to find a great chef, but to round up the 16 biggest idiots with the best chance of giving Gordon a coronary.  Once Fox embraced that philosophy, the show transcended mere guilty pleasure and became a work of art.  That being said, Dave is far too laid-back and competent to truly fit in with this show and will likely be voted off before the finale so that arrogant Kevin can face off and beat LOUD Tennille. 

So after last week’s debut TUF with blood flowing and ratings spiking, episode 2 was not only a huge letdown, but set up the worst possible matchup for the show.  Roy Nelson is gonna knock Kimbo Slice the fuck out next week and all the promotion and hype is gonna be for nothing now.  I know it’s “real” and you don’t want Dana White to be interfering, but that really seemed like a case where the best thing for everyone would have been to make sure Kimbo’s inevitable defeat was in week 8, not week 3.  And wow, how about Wes Shivers v. James McSweeney?  Wes was go ridiculously gassed by round 2 that James probably could have literally walked up to him and pushed him over for the KO, and he was STILL dancing backwards.  Honestly I don’t know how either guy got the decision because that was a shitty, shitty fight. 

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW - October 18 1993

- Live from Poughkeepsie, NY

- Your hosts are Vince, Macho and Bobby.

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