Scott's Blog of Doom

Michael's Extreme Review #6

-We are slightly taped from Kansas City. Your hosts are Josh Matthews and Matt Striker.

-Pyro is in High Definition so let's get started!

-IN A AGE DESPERATE FOR A HERO, COMES A MAN...STRONG, LIGHTNING FAST, AND UNYIELDING IN HIS FIGHT FOR GOOD...STAND BACK THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH!

1. Hurricane Helms vs Paul Burchill (with Katie Lea)
-Helms looks like Mortis in that mask. We get a recap of Helms punking Burchill last week. Katie Lea looks good. Wasn't there supposed to be an incest angle there? Anyways...Helms starts with armdrags and Burchill can't get it together. Helms dumps Burchill over the top and jumps off the top rope with a cross body to the floor. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK! Welcome back as the Hurricane is in a chinlock. During the break, Burchill crotched Helms on the top rope and obliterated him on the outside. Helms breaks free and eats a short arm clothesline. Burchill gets 2 and goes back to work with a cobra clutch. Helms breaks free and gets irish whipped into the corner a la Bret Hart. Burchill charges the corner and hits Helms with a double knee to the midsection! STIFF! They set up for a superplex but Helms fights off with Al Snow-like headbutts. Helms with a cross body but no cover. Helms hits a cross corner lariat but only gets 2. Helms with a modified neckbreaker on the knee for 2. Irish whip to the corner by Helms but Burchill moves out of the way and hits a DOUBLE PELE KICK! Burchill gets 2 and goes up top again. Helms meets him there again and nails the hurricurana for a close 2. Shining Wizard attempted, but Burchill blocks and goes for the Dangerous Buster. Reversed and EYE OF THE HURRICANE! And that will do it @ 10:59! (B+. That is how WWE should start every show. I gotta say I was very surprised how this match came together. More of this, less squashes.)

-In the back, we meet WWE's hottest new piece of ass, Courtney Taylor. She is with Tommy Dreamer, who says that despite everything, he and Christian are still good friends. Regal appears and Kozlov attacks from behind. Kozlov struggles with a surfboard hold and Regal drives a knee to Dreamer's head. Kozlov mumbles something very Nikita Koloff and they walk off.

-We are back from commercial as Christian and doctors tend to Dreamer. Dreamer is all messed up, don't know what to do.

-Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Abraham Washington! [APPLAUSE] Washington's guest tonight...Goldust! This ought to be interesting. Goldust out...dressed ain't wrestling. Washington brings up Sheamus and Goldust starts getting his ticks. Washington thinks Goldust is part of a prank and that he is being punked. Out comes Sheamus...dressed ain't wrestling. Sheamus says Goldust got lucky on Superstars and calls Goldust a gold freak. They stare down and Goldust replies with UH UH! And apparently that wil do it for the Abraham Washington show this week. Ok?

-Courtney Taylor in the back with Tiffany for a Tommy Dreamer update. Dreamer has a concussion. Christian has to find another partner. Could it be Ezekial Jackson? Shelton? Place your bets!

2. Zack Ryder vs Yoshi Tatsu
-This one ought to be fun. Ryder is 0 for the summer and Tatsu is enjoying a DQ win from last week. Ring the bell! Nice chain wrestling to start with Ryder hopping up top early and Tatsu catches him. Ryder grabs his arm and pulls it with him down to the floor. Ryder works the arm and Tatsu escapes and flips over Ryder's back into the ring and hits lots of stiff kicks. Ryder backs into the corner and Tatsu rolls through with a snapmare and kicks Ryder down for 2. Zack Attack attempted but a legsweep by Tatsu followed by a rolling senton. Tatsu on the apron and slingshot into an awkward elbow, but Ryder puts the knees up. And that will do it@ 3:04? Ryder wins - woo woo woo, you know it! (C-. Questionable finish there. Why not just put him over with the Zack Attack? Entertaining enough though.)

-The Rise and Fall of WCW DVD is on sale next week! Can't fucking wait!

-We are back with a Raw recap or DX infomercial, take your pick. Did you know that SummerSlam is this sunday? And yes, William Regal will face Christian for the ECW Championship.

-Christian is with Tiffany and says he will go it alone. Someone comes into the office and Christian says "that'll work."

MAIN EVENT
3. William Regal and Vladimir Kozlov vs Christian and ...
-How's aboot Ezekial Jackson! Regal and Christian start and Regal goes right after the arm. Ultra heel heat with Regal sucks chants. Christian gets to the 2nd rope and nails the turning elbow for a 1. In comes Kozlov. Christian peppers him in the corner. Kozlov comes out and catches Christian in a body vice. Christian regains composure and dumps Kozlov. Regal comes in and distracts Christian and Kozlov comes back in with a lariat, sending Christian to the outside. Regal tags in and beats on Christian on the outside and dumps him back in for a 2. Kozlov back in and rams the shoulder into Christian over and over in the corner. Regal back in and Christian mounts a comeback. Regal screams everytime he is hit. Sunset flip gets 2 as Kozlov breaks it up. Jackson gives chase to Kozlov and is behind Christian. Who sees this coming? JACKSON WITH A URANAGE ON CHRISTIAN! Regal covers for the win @ 5:11. (C. Nothing special about this except the attack on Christian. The element of surprise, if you can call it that, helped the rating.)

-After the match, Christian receives an Iron Curtain and a second Uranage. Regal, Kozlov, and Jackson all stand over Christian. Now that is a badass team.

Final Thoughts...This has been one of the better shows in quite a while. It's a shame that they waited until 5 days before SummerSlam to do it. I'll take more Hurricane anyday. Now that we have a good heel faction set up, we have a chance to see some good match ups in the coming weeks. Everyone asked for something new for Christian, you got it now.

Related Posts:

• Michael’s Extreme Review
• Michael’s Extreme Review
• Tryout: Michael’s Extreme Review
• Michael’s Extreme Review #2
• Michael’s Extreme Review

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Tags: Bret Hart, DVD, ECW, Nikita Koloff, RAW, Sting, The Office, WCW, WWE

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 at 12:13 am and is filed under Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.