* We start with a recap of Kozlov vs. Christian from last week.
* Pyro is presented in HD and we are in Miami!
1. Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin
* Stryker runs down how Christian won last week. Lockup starts with a go behind by Christian and Shelton reverses with a waistlock takedown. Spinning heel kick by Christian is good for one. Shelton responds with a corner beatdown. Christine battles back and gets irish whipped into the corner where he jumps up to the 2nd rope and hits a spinning back elbow. He goes up to the top and WHO HAD VLADIMIR KOZLOV!!?? Christian is distracted and Shelton hits a kick and sends him to the floor. We'll be right back! Apparently Kozlov will be joining us for commentary. 2 word answers, what a treat! Shelton works the arm. Christian fights back and is on the top rope. Shelton leaps atop! What athleticsm! Christian fights off and we have the standard 10 count. Christian on the offensive and nails a tornado DDT for a near fall. Shelton grabs a Fujiwara armbar that Christian reverses for 2. Christian hits the inverted DDT and goes up top. Shelton glides atop (again) and gets 2. Attempted Stinger Splash missed and Christian attempts the Killswitch, countered and Christian eats post. Pay Dirt and that will do it at 11:34. Kozlov is smiling; looks like Bob Saget in a red bathrobe, if you ask me.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin
* Standing by in the back is Gregory Helms with Ezekial Jackson. His shirt says something I won't even attempt. EJ talks about not being in the shadow of The Brian Kendrick. Seriously?!? Waste of promo.
2. Paul Burchill vs. Yoshi Tatsu
* Burchill is back! Hurah! Lockup is to the tune of Yoshi chants. Really? Stryker tries to put over the Ripper gimmick, but to no avail. Burchill beats down Yoshi and drapes him over the second rope for Katie Lea to hit a stiff kick to the head of Yoshi. Standard chinlock and Yoshi fights back. Burchill nails a stiff lariat and senton for 2. Another chinlock. Yoshi fights back and hits a flurry of kicks. Botched springboard equals a crushing Saito suplex for Yoshi. Cover, but the referee is checking his shoulders and Burchill argues. He turns around and is nailed with a Buzzsaw Kick for the pin at 3:34. Yoshi wins again?
Winner: Yoshi Tatsu
* Tiffany is in the back with Tyler Rekks. I thought the dumb bimbo on ECW was supposed to be Dawn Marie? Rekks wants a shot to wrestle on ECW next week. I think you gotta win a match first. I could be wrong though.
24 Karat Productions presents..
3. Goldust vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder blatantly ripping off Jackie Fulton's look. I dare anyone to figure that one out. Goldust sporting black ears. Lockup and Goldust attempts to kiss Ryder in the corner and Ryder gets all tough like he doesn't know what he is doing. Yeah right! Goldust with usual flurry of stiff punches and hits the Butt-Butt. Who named it that? Ryder escapes and they end up on the top rope. Top rope guillotine sends Goldust to the outside. Back in and Ryder nails a running boot to the corner. Chinlock and Goldust fights back and nails a powerslam for 2. Second rope Bionic Elbow gets 2. Ryder baits him into the corner and Zack Attack will do it at 4:22.
Winner: Zack Ryder
* Back from commercial and Matt Stryker is literally sitting in Josh Matthews' lap as they recap the Hurricane sighting from last week.
4. Sheamus vs. Roman Cornell
* Whitest guy on the roster vs the local guy. I need subtitles, BLAH BLAH. Let's just get on with the formalities. Cornell grabs a headlock and gets a shoulder block for his troubles. Sheamus all on this poor guy in the corner and Cornell fights back. Sheamus with a jumping big boot and jacks this guy's jaw. Urinage into a back breaker will finish this one at 1:30.
Winner: Sheamus
* Next week Christian and Tommy Dreamer on the Abraham Washington show.
5. DA MAIN EVENT! Vladimir Kozlov vs. Tommy Dreamer in non-title fashion.
* Dreamer sporting his black trashbag trunks. Here we go and right off we have USA chants. How 80's! Kozlov with a go behind and Dreamer fights out. Telegraphed DDT sends Dreamer to the corner. Dreamer with a school boy for 2. Dreamer hits a 2nd rope clothesline for another 2. Kozlov sends Dreamer outside and attempts to hit a big boot, but nails the post. Back inside and here comes a Dreamer. He goes up to the top and gets knocked down. Vlad charges the corner and eats boot. Dreamer is met with a headbutt and Iron Curtain for the win at 3:55.
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov.
Extra curricular activity by Kozlov is broken up by Christian. Flurry of offense meets Dreamer by mistake and Kozlov headbutts him downstairs. Vladimir stands victorious and show is over.
Good job. I thought Goldust would get to do more than JTTS, but I guess I’m foolish.
Sorry mate I understand you put effort in but that was a weak review IMHO… where is the charm and wit of The Princess? To cut it on Scotts blog you gotta be top notch in my opinion.
Wow, to be in the shadow of Brian Kendrick is truly to wallow in the depths of obscurity.
I really wish they had moved Christian to Smackdown in the recent trade, he’s too good for this show.
Ever since I saw the “Woo woo woo” stuff on the Dirt Sheet with Ryder, I fell in love with the guy. He just makes the whole gimmick and look better and better as the weeks go by and even the crowd is getting into it with mock “woo woo woo”’s.
I don’t know why, but I need star ratings.
I agree. I’d like to know how good you thought the match was. Star ratings are the accepted way to do that.
I say be kinda original and find another way to rate matches. Maybe letter grades?
I always hope that Scott is going to dust off the “hot poker in the ass” or the “shane-o-mac pays you” ratings…miss those.
Oh dear.
I enjoyed watch the Burchill-Tatsu match and I look forward to watching Yoshi each week on ECW.
I could not understand Sheamus? I had feeling that the guy had a faux Irish…or was it a scottish accent?
I also could not understand why Kozlov was placed in commentary. They guy seriously needs a manager to speak for him.