The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW - April 12 1993
- Live from New York. I think. Who knows anymore? When you can't trust the word of Vince McMahon, who can you trust?
- Your hosts are Vince, Randy, and DAMMIT, Rob Bartlett.
IRS v. Scott Steiner
Bartlett actually makes a valid point for once: What DOES Irwin need with suspenders when he's already wearing a belt? Scott works for a hammerlock to start, but he goes for the leg and gets hit with an enzuigiri. Scott comes back with a powerslam and IRS bails for advice from Dibiase. Back in, they trade holds on the mat and Scott controls with the hammerlock again before getting a clothesline for two. Scott goes back to the arm and wraps him up with what is almost a sugar hold, but Irwin slugs out and stomps him down to take over. Scott powers him over with a suplex for two and IRS needs more advice, which is apparently "stick your thumb in his eye" because that's exactly what happens. Dibiase clotheslines Scott on the floor as a DONNYBROOK threatens to erupt, but things calm down as we take a break. Back with IRS getting a piledriver for two. We hit the chinlock and Irwin stomps him down again before going back to it. Backbreaker and IRS goes up (?!), and of course he lands on Scott's foot. Right in the moosh, according to Vince. Scott makes the comeback and slugs away in the corner, then necksnaps him with the tie and adds a backdrop. Butterfly powerbomb gets two, but everyone runs in for the DQ at 9:54. This was fine, although IRS v. Rick Steiner would have been more fun from the "wink to the longtime fans" perspective. **1/2 The Beverlies come in and attempt a beatdown on Scott, and they end up beating Dibiase down by mistake. Was that supposed to be a face turn for the Beverlies on the way out or something? Tensions are high and apparently we've got a match upcoming next week. And what happened to the Money Inc v. Bushwackers match we were promised last time?
Tatanka v. (Skull) Von Krus
It's the like the next best thing to Wahoo McDaniel v. Baron Von Raschke. Cable operators are standing by to receive your order for Wrestlemania's replay! Man, they're hyping that thing harder than the original airing! Tatanka with a series of armdrags, as Doink wanders down to ringside with a trick umbrella. Ah, the eternal battle between Indian and clown. Tatanka chops away on Von Krus in the corner and whips him into the corner, then drops the elbow. Von Krus comes back with an elbow and they slug it out, and Tatanka has had enough and chops him down before finishing with the Papoose To Go at 3:57.
Wrestlemania Report! Apparently it's already being referred to as the "Greatest Wrestlemania of All-Time". I want NAMES of the people who say such a thing. The selling points are: Double clowns, Undertaker rising from the dead, and people in togas. They totally make me want to watch it all over again. Like seriously, it's not even "Check out the great Tatanka-Shawn match!", it's "Watch the two people dressed up as a clown" as though it was the greatest illusion ever performed.
Luna Vachon joins us to hurl insults at Sherri, who heads down to ringside for a clothes-ripping catfight. That's pretty risqué for this era, actually. We take a break as Sgt. Slaughter hauls off the crazed Luna and return with Randy Savage trying to cover up Sherri's bra, but Luna attacks again and gets hauled off again.
Papa Shango v. Scott Taylor
Shango swats down a dropkick and tosses him out of the corner, then hits a backdrop suplex. He follows with a slam and a headbutt as Bartlett returns to ringside after getting torn up in the catfight. Shango finishes with the shoulderbreaker at 2:15.
Friar Ferguson v. Chris Duffy
Originally Ferguson was "The Mad Monk" in a dark match, then they tweaked the gimmick into a lovable monk here. Friar slams Duffy and drops a leg, then stops to dance and splashes him for two. He's a dancing monk! How wacky! Ferguson goes to a nerve hold and blocks a sunset flip with a butt splash that finishes at 4:06. This got over like the proverbial fart in church, so he was repackaged yet again into Bastion Booger soon after.
Next week: Money Inc. v. The Beverly Brothers!
I can’t believe I used to tune into this stuff every week. Raw has been on the air for 16 years but 1997-2000 are the only years it was actually watchable.
I don’t know: At this point I’d be willing to trade Hornswoggle and Santina Marella for Friar Furgeson and a couple of Doinks.
I liked Raw in 2004 & the first half of 2005. And 1994 had its moments.
That’s why TIVO/DVR is the best invention ever. 2008 sucked; but Jericho/Michaels was off the charts.
Meh…they had some memorable moments from time to time even before the Attitude/just-before-Attitude days. (as someone noted, wait till they get to a certain episode in May ‘93…)
I guess this being pre-Internet for me kind of colored that time period. As long as it was wrestling I ate it up, pretty much. So eerily enough, this would be nostalgic for me.
Now 2002-and-on? I’ll give you that
So Savage helped out Sherri? That’s a pretty cool little nod to the past right there!
Sad thing is that as much as I’ve watched old WWF tapes through my life (and trust me, especially from ages 9-16, I watched a LOT of WWF tapes) I never once considered the Savage/Sherri connection. Now I need to watch Shawn/Tatanka from Mania 9 just to hear the commentary on a brand new level. Or not.
Heaven help me, I actually remember watching this show because of the catfight and the debut of the Monk. To this day, I have no idea why/how anyone thought a wrestling monk was going to get over. Even as a 10 year old, I remembered thinking, this is incredibly stupid…hence why I remember watching it 16 years later. So theres that.
No mention of Bartlett getting ravaged in the catfight and then acting drunk during the Friar match?
Scott
Imagine my delight upon seeing my name come across Google Alerts, and actually being COMPLIMENTED for something I did while I was on RAW. I know I have the reputation of being one of the top ten WORST announcers in Professional Wrestling History. I must take umbrage with that status. First of all, I was a ‘color’ commentator, NOT an announcer, and secondly, I was absolutely THE worst. Ever. A busload of asthmatic orphans slamming into a tractor trailer filled with puppies would have been more amusing. My ‘comedy’ (and the quotes are mine) and the style of programming at the time, on what was then still known as the WWF, (before those whiny Panda Lovers got all territorial and shit) were obviously not a good fit. You can’t blame Vince for wanting to try something new. The man is the P.T. Barnum of our time, TRULY a promotional GENIUS. I just don’t know what he thought I was going to bring to the table. To be fair, I didn’t give him all that much help figuring it out, and you can say all you want about him, but the man really does know how to put on a show. Better than any Rock promoter, movie director or Broadway producer. No question. End of story. I mean, just after my departure from RAW, (itself a living example of the existence of God’s infinite mercy) there was all that talk about how Ted Turner was going to put Vince out of business. 20 years later, look who’s still bringing it, while sitting on a diamond encrusted toilet seat.
I think that the concept of parodying something that’s already larger than life, while still being respectful of the rich tradition of the industry, was problematic. And just to keep the record straight, I quit, although Vince didn’t try to stop me. (Nor should he have) Kevin Dunn tried to convince me to stay, but I knew it wasn’t a good blend. It’s never bothered me that Vince said I was fired because I didn’t think my Limo was big enough. I at least got my own Wrestling storyline. Which is more than Todd Pettingill can ever say.
Since those long lost days of yore, World Wrestling Entertainment has grown leaps and bounds, and broken through barriers that, at one time would have been an unthinkably impossible task. If I had the opportunity now (that I’m older, wiser, and…okay, much fatter) I would do things differently. I would try to be more than just a wiseass wearing a tuxedo with sneakers. I might wear a cool T-Shirt. Or maybe a silly hat. You know, comedy.
I have no regrets about my time on RAW, other than my inability to make my contribution work. I have many fond memories of being on live T.V. every week for almost three months. I got pied by Doink, had my clothes torn off by The Sensational Sherri and Luna Vachon, and remain the only person to parody Mr. McMahon himself, and live to tell the tale. During my brief tenure, I had the honor to meet some of the greatest people I will ever know: Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan, Virgil, and the late, great Bam Bam Bigelow, (A fine family man who was tragically taken way too soon) I have great respect and admiration for their incredible athletic artistry…all they all do to bring it to the fans every night.
Who, as you are a perfect example of, are the most dedicated, loyal fans in the world. I have fans from my years on Imus in the Morning, from my couple stints on Broadway, the odd shots on Law and Order and Ugly Betty, even of my stand – up act, (I swear, there’s at least two not including my wife and mother) but none of them will ever hold a candle to those of you out there who honor and support those who enter the squared circle.
Now, if any of you could help me find somewhere I can still get an ICO PRO bar. I got addicted to those things, and I’m Jonesing. Real bad.
Yours, uncut, unpredictable, unmatched,
Rob Bartlett
Robshow.com
P.S. I actually ‘Named’ Friar Ferguson. He lasted longer than I did.
Don’t be so hard on yourself Rob. You were only the second worst color commentator in wrestling history. Mike Tenay is far and away the worst ever.
Art Donovan was so bad that even though he was only a guest color commentator, he wins this by a mile.
Also, was Adamle PbP or color? Because either way, he sucked.
How soon we forget Duke Doherty.
Really cool to see Rob Bartlett here actually. I feel bad for what they stuck you with, your job was to make 1993 Raws seem exciting. I couldn’t have done that job.
You should contact TNA Rob. I’d trade “Heel Don West” for you in a heartbeat.
Rob Bartlett,
Look at it like this, you were the precursor to Dennis Miller in the Monday Night Football booth
[...] hosts are Vince, Randy, and for the last time, Rob Bartlett. Thanks to Rob for taking the time to comment on last week’s RAW rant and acknowledging how terrible an announcer he [...]
[...] hosts are Vince, Randy, and for the last time, Rob Bartlett. Thanks to Rob for taking the time to comment on last week’s RAW rant and acknowledging how terrible an announcer he [...]