The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW - March 1 1993
- Yeah, I know I should get back to reviewing Wrestling Challenge again or whatever, but this show is like crack, I can see why CRZ used to love recapping it so much.
- Live from New York.
- Your hosts are Vince, Macho and Elvis. Wow, Bartlett as an Elvis impersonator. BA-ZING, now there's cutting edge comedy.
WWF World title: Bret Hart v. Fatu
Apparently I already reviewed this on a Bret Hart thing from WWE 24/7, but memories of that glorious channel are already fading fast, so we'll do it again. Fatu gets a slam to start, but misses an elbow, and Bret goes to work on the arm. It was something of a giant missed opportunity that they didn't play up the relationship between Yokozuna and the Headshrinkers and turn them into his goon squad. Bret "messes up" on a criss-cross and injures his knee, but of course he's just faking it and he gets a small package for two. Back to the arm and Fatu tries to slam out of it, but Bret holds on. Fatu has finally had enough and superkicks him, ending his career. No, wait, sorry. Man, Bret must really hate that move now, given that he lost a World title and his career to it. Clothesline gets two. Fatu goes to the nerve pinch and then elbows Bret down for two, but now Samu joins us. Bret gets two, but Fatu kicks him out of the ring and Samu adds a slam on the floor. We take a break and return with Fatu hammering away in the corner as Vince declares that he's moments away from winning the title. C'mon, Fatu as a serious World title contender? That's about as likely as him becoming a dancing sumo wrestler! Headbutt gets two. Piledriver gets two. Fistdrop off the middle rope gets two. Fatu goes up and Bret brings him down with a superplex for two to set up the Sharpshooter, but the Headshrinkers switch off and Samu gets two. They switch again and Fatu gets a sleeper, but Bret runs them into each other and finishes with the Sharpshooter at 12:53. Good work from both guys, albeit utterly forgettable. **1/2
Wrestlemania IX REPORT! With Mean Gene! Hogan & Beefcake v. Money Inc! Undertaker Giant Gonzalez! Tatanka v. Shawn Michaels! Mr Perfect v. Lex Luger! Bret Hart v. Yokozuna! C'mon, this show can't possibly be the worst Wrestlemania of all-time, can it? Randy Savage makes Joey Buttafucco references so we know it's early 90s.
Meanwhile, on the beaches of Hawaii, Crush smashes a coconut to demonstrate his feelings towards Doink. His lame Hawaiian act makes me wonder -- would a laid-back surfer character ala Jack Johnson work as a gimmick? Like if someone could pull off the smarm of Matthew McConaughey?
Doink the Clown v. Koko B. Ware
Seriously, the color schemes of this time period are going to fry my monitor. Doink attacks to start and gets an STF, then goes to work on the leg and applies the STUMP PULLER~! to finish at 1:49. *
And now your weekly buzzkill segment, as Money Inc. come out to continue this horrible feud with Hogan & Beefcake. Basically, IRS is going to hit Hogan with the briefcase just like he did with Beefcake. Wow, what a threat. They're putting the titles on the line at Wrestlemania, which is somewhat tempered by the fact that they already announced it earlier in the show.
The Narcissist Lex Luger v. PJ Walker
Vince shills a new show called "The Matrix" and I'm like ZUH? Totally different of course, but still, neat. Luger tosses Walker around and adds a suplex in between poses. Kneelift and Luger runs him into the corner and pounds away while Bobby Heenan joins us on the phone and we get an incredibly bizarre conversation between him and "Elvis". Luger finishes with the STAINLESS STEEL FOREARM OF DOOM at 3:10. Wow, that jobber was just incredible.
…
Oh, what, you can suddenly do better now? Philistines.
The Steiner Brothers v. Duane Gill & Barry Hardy
Lords of Pain 4 Life, baby. Scott works on the arm of Hardy and Rick tosses him. Back in, Rick runs him into the corner, and it's over to Gill. Rick backdrops him into the lights and hits a backbreaker, then Scott abuses him into a pumphandle slam. Dropkick sends Gill back to his own corner. Sadly, he doesn't tag out, and Scott hits him with the butterfly bomb and finishes with the Frankensteiner at 4:03. They sure love tossing jobbers around.
Next week: Money Inc v. Virgil & Tito Santana! Mr Perfect v. Rick Martel! That sounds damn good, actually, although we never did see the end of the Undertaker-Skinner match from last week.
It’s funny you mention Crush’s lame Hawaiian act – looking back it was indeed lame, but damn I was such a huge fan of his back in 1992/93. He was right up there with Bret and Bulldog (big star in the UK) in my eyes. I think he had the Sid factor.
I was pretty sure Crush was going to legitimately squeezed Doink’s head until it popped at WrestleMania. I hated that stupid clown when I was 11, he was my favorite guy to root against. He had a sweet run in 1993 too. I remember a ton of great matches against Mr. Perfect for a King of the Ring spot that had me marking out on Saturday mornings. And he had at least one kickass match against Marty Jannetty.
If CRZ was recapping this one, he’d still be describing the opening RAW logo…
“would a laid-back surfer character ala Jack Johnson work as a gimmick?”
R-V-D
A beach bum gimmick also worked for many years for Don Muracco.
The Hawaiian gimmick was the only gimmick I ever really liked Crush in (I wasn’t watching during his Demolition years). I never really liked any of his gimmicks after that.
The Sandman was a “surfer dude” in his first years in ECW. He came down to the ring with the Beach Boy’s “Surfin’ USA. “
re: Undertaker / Skinner, how many times in its history has WWF/E ever pulled the “sorry folks, we’re out of time!” gimmick? It doesn’t happen that often, especially compared to WCW.
They could have shown the ending during “Robin Hood”
Well it was kind of mitigated by the fact they got as much overrun time as they needed starting in 1996(?). And before that weren’t a lot of the shows just compilations so they could edit them together to fit the timeslots appropriately?
What annoys me about watching Bret Hart are these injury spots. Whether he’s faking a knee injury or selling a knee injury, I was sick of seeing it.
And how many people would actually fall for that anyway?
“And how many people would actually fall for that anyway?”
Yes, within the bounds of kayfabe, it’s quite a stretch that someone would get injured in a fight.
He does it in almost EVERY match.
That’s far from true.
Is there a dumber looking submission hold than the stump puller?
And yet, nonetheless, it can hurt like hell. Try putting your thigh to your forehead while sitting on your ass. Not fun.:)
Of course, Doink never cranked it that much (can’t see too much of the roster being able to take that), but like most submissions, when you put good pressure on…
Scott, explain the Herb Kunze explanation of the Stump Puller’s effectiveness again, please
Indeed, the reason why I made special note of the Stump Puller is not because it’s a great finisher, but because of a story that longtime RSPW legend Herb Kunze told about it. It’s not the pain of the move that causes the submission, it’s that the person doing the move gets an erection and jams it into the neck of the victim until they have no choice but to give up.
And now you know the rest of the story.
Virgil or 2 Cold should have adopted it as a finisher, then. If you know the stories told about each, you know why.
Yikes! Gives new meanings to both submission and Stump Puller. Well, the clown was supposed to be a little creepy…
Thank you for the Paul Harvey reference. I didn’t think he made it up to Canada…
He didn’t. As with 99% of the pop culture references that permeate my life, I got it from the Simpsons.
I believe the Headshrinkers DID help Yokozuna in the Casket Match against Undertaker. After nearly the whole heel roster couldn’t put Taker down, the Headshrinkers came out followed by, finally Diesel (who, in typical Nash fashion does NOTHING). I always thought that was an insider (a small one, but nonetheless) nod to their shared heritage.
You know, something that’s always bugged me about that match. I understand why Crush, Tenryu, and Kabuke came out, as they were managed by Fuji. I can see the Headshrinkers for the inside nod at their heritage that you mentioned. But why in the world were the likes of Nash and Jarrett involved? I guess you can explain Nash by saying that since his occupation was purportedly a bodyguard that he would have agreed to take money from Fuji and Cornette to help. But wouldn’t it have made more sense for the Quebecers to come out since they just teamed with Yoko against Taker at Survivor Series?
I’ve always wondered if Ludvig Borga was supposed to have been a lot more involved in this match. I know that there is a crazy longstanding rumor that Borga/Taker was supposed to headline Mania 10. I’m sure that’s not true but maybe it stems from some truth in that they were supposed to feud before the injuries sidelined both of them? Maybe they decided to throw tons of people out there when Borga got hurt and couldn’t do it?
One last note…I just checked Wikipedia to see if anything is mentioned about it and DEAR LORD, you have to read Borga’s entry. Apparently he served on FINNISH PARLIAMENT and was later COMMITTED TO A MENTAL ASYLUM!?! Can that possibly be true!?!
He also once lost a UFC fight to Randy Couture!?!?!
I know that one’s true; I’ve seen it. It was in about 1997 or so.
I believe the Finnish Parliament thing is also true.
What’s so weird about it? The Japanese elected Great Sasuke, for crying out loud.
Nice story about Borga in UFC:
http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/life/abox/article_2026972.php
Wasnt Borga in Die Hard 3 with Bruce Willis and Sam Jackson?
In these days the heels all worked together – so the faces. That’s why most of the heels tried to help Yoko. The friendship in the roster was much better than today, where heels only work together if Vince tells them to.
Was that stab at Nash even necessary?
Goddamn, can we get over this already?
“Your hosts are Vince, Macho and Elvis. Wow, Bartlett as an Elvis impersonator. BA-ZING, now there’s cutting edge comedy.”
And stolen from the GWF of all things!
Speaking of which, I now see we are 2 episodes away from the Rob as Vince episode!
Here’s my question for anyone who would know….was Bartlett’s impersonations supposed to be good. Or was he going for the “so bad it’s funny” routine? He’s just so, so terrible.
Oh and just to let you know, here is how Rob suppposedly got his job (told by Rob himself)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvTUS1QEd_8
I actually went to college with Bartlett’s son, who is also a wrestling fan.
So Ken Kennedy got released today… released.
Yeah, didn’t see this one coming, especially since he had just made his return in the 5-on-5 on RAW Monday. I guess Vince finally decided he’d had enough of the guy always being hurt. He just wasn’t reliable enough to put in a top slot.
Or, he failed a drug test. Kind of ironic there, since Kennedy was going all over the place after the Benoit tragedy defending it’s authenticity.
He supposedly got hurt again on his return match and also came close to injuring Randy Orton with a slam. WWE finally had enough of the guy, and I don’t blame them in the least bit.