Once again, $12 for the theater is much better than $50 for the PPV, so here’s the QnD:
- Umaga d. CM Punk in the opener. Punk is the hometown hero, so of course he’s gotta lose and decisively so. Pretty good match, like the Kane match last month, with Punk doing all his kicks and then losing out because he’s small and Umaga is big. I just don’t get them sometimes. Well, most times. ***
- Christian d. Jack Swagger with a handful of tights to retain the ECW title. Hell of a match, much more fast-paced and aerial-based than last month’s, and even that was a pretty good one. Kind of a heel tease from Christian, but it was a clever finish with Christian pulling down Swagger’s straps to throw him off and then using them for leverage. ***1/2
- John Morisson d. Shelton Benjamin with the Starship Pain moonsault. Lots of cool aerial stuff from John, like a springboard 450 to the floor and of course the knee out of the corner and the finishing moonsault. Charlie Haas was at ringside because I guess they’re reuniting them yet again in a world with no tag teams left, but didn’t do anything. Fun match overall. ***1/4
- Comedy segment saw The Miz generating tons of cheap heat by abusing Alfonso Soriano at ringside and claiming himself 4-0 against Cena because Soriano was a sub for Cena tonight. Oh, and the Cubs suck. You don’t say. Oddly enough, Santino makes the save for Soriano (“He sounds like a fellow Italian.”) and gets crazy over as a babyface before Miz kills him dead. Funny stuff, but it’s a PPV, come on.
- Rey Mysterio d. Chris Jericho to retain the IC title in the easy winner for match of the night, as they blew everyone away with crazy stuff like Jericho reversing the 619 a bunch of times and just an amazing fast pace overall. Rey finally got a ringpost 619 and finished with the springboard splash. 50/50 reaction from the crowd as they were hot throughout. ****1/4
- At this point I’m thinking “potential PPV of the year”, but unfortunately the main events all let me down.
- Batista d. Randy Orton by DQ in a super-lame finish that I guess sets up the obvious no-DQ match for Extreme Rules, as Orton kept trying to get himself DQ’d to keep the title before finally smacking the ref to get the job done. And Batista blows yet another title shot. Slow and dull match, with the only electricity coming when Orton does SLITHERY VIPER SNAKE thing to set up the RKO. I don’t get what they’re doing with Orton overall, as some weeks he’s a dominant superstar and some weeks he’s a cowardly weasel, like here. ** Afterwards, Ric Flair returns to save Batista from Legacy,which got a huge pop but I really don’t want to see it.
- John Cena d. Big Show in another snoozefest. The commentary is just getting ridiculously bad, with Michael Cole going on about Cena “doing the impossible” as he FU’s Show, even though he already did it at WM two months ago. I guess I was supposed to feel like Show doing a camel clutch was a big threat, but maybe if they actually defined what Cena’s crippling injury was, I would. And how is the knockout punch a legal finisher, anyway? Shouldn’t the ref step in and say “Uh, Show, closed fists are illegal”? **1/4
- Edge d. Jeff Hardy clean with a top rope DDT to retain the title. Weird flow to this one, as Hardy never got his comeback, and the finish came after they were brawling on the floor and Matt Hardy come out of nowhere and blasted Jeff with his cast. It just never took off and everyone was waiting afterwards for CM Punk to cash in, and that never happened. Good, but not really main event quality. ***
Overall, a total thumbs in the middle show, with nothing I’d recommend getting the replay for, but nothing I felt really ripped off by.
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