Archive for May, 2009

The SmarK Retro Rant for WWF Wrestlemania IX

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

The SmarK Retro Re-Rant for WWF Wrestlemania IX

- Figured we might as well go whole hog and redo this one, since the buildup on the RAWs I've been doing has been towards this show. Plus I wanted to work in all the Anthology versions of WM anyway. Can you believe it's been ten years since I last did this one?

- Live from Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas.

- Your hosts are Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage and introducing…JIM ROSS! In a toga.

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The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – March 22 1993

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW - March 22 1993

- Live from New York again.

- Your hosts are Vince, Randy and Rob.

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The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – March 15 1993

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW - March 15 1993

- Live from Poughkeepsie, New York. Apparently a giant blizzard has prevented taping at the Manhattan Center, so this marks the first show shot somewhere else.

- Your hosts are Gorilla, Bobby and (Not) Vince McMahon. Uh oh, Rob Bartlett brings his impersonation skills again.

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Terminator: Salvation for the franchise?

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Man, I came into this movie because it was really hot out and I needed somewhere to go with A/C, and I was morbidly interested in seeing what McG had done with the franchise after reading all the bad reviews.  And so help me, I really, REALLY enjoyed this movie.  It certainly blew away T3, which came off as a hacky rehash of T2 with a twist ending.  Yeah, we knew the action setpieces were gonna be good and loud (and LOUD!), but there’s some pretty damn good acting going on here too.  I should note that the trailer is a bit misleading, as Bale’s John Connor is at best second-banana here (reportedly only written into more of a main character after Bale took the role) and the real star of the movie is Sam Worthington as Marcus Wright, the Terminator who thinks he’s people.  He’s the one who draws the sympathy from the audience and who drives the plot.  With John it’s like “Yeah, we know, savior of the human race, yada yada” but Wright is a fresh character with a neat Blade Runner type twist on the Terminator robots.  In fact, I really wish that they hadn’t revealed his nature in the trailer or indeed in the first 5 seconds of the movie, because it would have been a really boffo twist to make it a big reveal late in the movie after clearly showing that he was human earlier on. 

Anyway, I’d call this one a solid third-best in the series and well worth checking out for a good time at the movies.  I did not like the ending, however, I will say that. 

Once again, the ground rules

Saturday, May 30th, 2009

Normally I don’t post these kinds of e-mails, but I just wanted to give everyone fair warning of the ground rules yet again for those new to the blog.  This stems from me threatening to ban poster Ichiban…

Hello,
I'd excuse myself for being "smarter than everyone" but since that is how you perceived my comments I guess that is in your head after all.
Don't bother banning me from your website because I'm voluntarily choosing to stop posting messages there.  It is clear that having a mind of one's own is not the best way to become a member of the rspwfaq family.
It sucks because I'm pretty sure you're around my age (30 years old).  I used to read your shit in college and think it was funny.  Now I realize that you are either stuck in the past or pandering to people too stupid to know any better.
Anyways enjoy that parking lot episode of WWE!

 

I’m not sure where anyone got the notion that this is a message board intended for the free exchange of diverse opinions and personalities, because it’s not.  It’s my personal blog and at this point in my online career, I have zero interest in “internet drama” or babysitting a message board.  If you want to disagree with me or others, fine, but do so in a civil manner and don’t come looking to pick a fight.  I reserve the right to be as unfair as I want to keep this a positive and relatively snark-free place. 

Boring rant over, back to the far sillier world of wrestling…

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – March 8 1993

Saturday, May 30th, 2009

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW - March 8 1993

- Prerecorded from New York.

- Hosted by Vince, Macho & Rob.

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KARMA!

Friday, May 29th, 2009

…karma.

Boy, I guess Vince has finally had enough of Mr. Kennedy.  I never saw the upside of the guy and never saw a great singles match with him, so I hope TNA enjoys all the injuries.   Truly someone who needed to learn to keep his mouth shut if he’s not towing the company line.

That being said, maybe he’ll work the indies and develop into a great wrestler and return again, but for now, good riddance. 

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – March 1 1993

Friday, May 29th, 2009

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW - March 1 1993

- Yeah, I know I should get back to reviewing Wrestling Challenge again or whatever, but this show is like crack, I can see why CRZ used to love recapping it so much.

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Joe the Samoan

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

Hey Scott:

Maybe this can spark some Blog debate, should you chose to print it.  I don't watch TNA anymore since they hired Russo and fucked everything up royally in early '07, but I'm still a pretty big Samoa Joe fan, even though he's getting sloppy now out of apathy.  Now I know he'll probably never go to the WWE based on schedule and mistrust of character alone, and of course Vince doesn't want him since he doesn't look like everyone else, but let's say a miracle happens and he happens to go to the WWE.  What do you think would likely happen to him?  They already made their "answer" to him, Unga-bunga (though I guess I can't call him that anymore since he talks now apparently), so I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be saddled with some dumb Samoan Savage gimmick, but what do you think they'd do with him.  Drop him right off in ECW as a monster heel?  Call him Joe Johnson and never let him talk?  Lord knows his natural ability would eventually get him over but do you think he'd even get that far, or would he be forced into punching and kicking until he quit.

 

Well, never say never because I didn’t think CM Punk would ever make it, but Vince has a fairly narrow view of what a samoan wrestler should be, as evidenced by Umaga being the original planned gimmick for Joe.  Maybe he’d try to remake Rikishi or Yokozuna with him, but I just couldn’t see Vince buying someone who doesn’t look like Batista as a “tough guy” threat.  Even Vader, the prototype monster heel, didn’t get a fair run in 96.  Although I think Joe would be awesome as a Vader-style monster heel.  But then I also think that they should turn Jack Swagger into Brock Lesnar 2.0, so maybe I’m totally out to lunch, I dunno.

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2008 TRISTAR CROSS THE LINE AUTO OF SAMOA JOE 08 50
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More WCW fun

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

Since you posted the link to the "White Castle of Fear" mini-movie, I figure I would send you the links to "Spin the wheel, make the deal" and "Beach Bash" mini-movies too so you can share them with others on the blog.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsqA4w9IbeQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgT5ta5oWCc

 

The world thanks you!