The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Monday Night RAW - December 8 1997
- So it's the night after the DeGeneration X PPV and big stuff is afoot…
- Live from Portland, Maine.
- Hour 1 is hosted by Jim Ross & Michael Cole & Kevin Kelly. My dream team! Actually they're not so bad here because their entire role is to read pre-scripted bits of the conversation in between JR's actual points. Like they're going over the Shamrock-Michaels title match and Kelly's bit will be "Indeed the match was a mixture of speed and technique" and you won't hear him again. I can deal with that.
Vince McMahon, slowly but surely getting into the swing of his Chairman Vince character, starts us off with a discussion of Steve Austin and how driving a pickup truck into the arena endangered the lives of the fans, and that's just going too far. As well, he beat up a referee, so Vince DEMANDS that Steve Austin defend against the Rock ("who some of you may feel is indeed 'The People's Champion'…") in a rematch tonight. Austin comes out to clarify that you don't "order" him to do anything. Vince clarifies that he's Austin's boss (the quivering voice here is great) and there will be CONSEQUENCES. But he's just getting warmed up, as he's also concerned about Austin's language (about which Austin swears at him). So Austin's gonna go back and have a hot dog and make Vince sweat, and when he comes back out, someone's getting their ass kicked. MONEY. Well, I mean, duh, right, but just watching the electricity from the crowd here is amazing, even knowing how successful it was.
- Meanwhile, Jerry Lawler wins the Karate Fighters tournament over Sunny, but scandalous footage of cheating and malfeasance on his part reverses the decision. But what about the drug testing? He should have won regardless!
The Legion of Doom v. The Godwinns
Dogg & Gunn are at ringside with their South Park shirts (for those who don't remember, that was really edgy 12 years ago), although I'm wishing they'd get a name soon. Henry slams Hawk, but misses an elbow, and Animal comes in with an elbowdrop of his own. Hawk adds a clothesline and dropkicks him into PIG for the tag, which gives us the world's worst slugfest. Hawk with a neckbreaker, but he misses the flying clothesline and that allows the Godwinns to take over. However, in grand Russo tradition, it's lights out and Kane heads out for the Sportz Entertainment Finish at 2:30 or so. DUD Kane piledrives Hawk and it's no-sold (when does Kane ever do a piledriver?) so he adds a chokeslam and tombstone to finish him off. Did JR really call Kane the "one-eyed monster"? No wonder Kane dumped gasoline on him years later. And we continue angle overdrive as Gunn & Dogg take advantage of the fallen Hawk with a beating, until Animal chases them off with a chair.
- Back from the break, Road Dogg is STILL talking, as introduces the term "OLD" and declares that there's no competition left in the tag team world, so they're issuing an open challenge to any singles wrestler.
Dude Love v. Billy Gunn
Gunn attacks on the floor while Road Dogg does commentary and "interviews" Dude as Billy is pounding on him. That's pretty funny. Into the ring, Gunn chokes away on the ropes, but Dude gets a backslide for two. Gunn comes back with a clothesline for two. Kelly: "You guys looked pretty tough hiding behind the Spanish commentators." Dogg: "Yeah, well the Spanish commentators ARE pretty tough!" And it's true, Tito Santana is badass. Dogg coins the name "Southern Justice" for the soon-to-be repackaged Godwinns while Dude makes the comeback and rams Gunn into the turnbuckles. That sets up Sweet Shin Music, but Gunn dodges it and hits a Fameasser. Dude recovers with Sweet Shin Music at 3:38 for the pin. And in true fashion for the team, Dogg immediately lays him out with a chairshot and the beatdown commences. Amazingly, this actually went somewhere.
Jim Cornette brings out the winner of the first WWF Light Heavyweight champion, Taka Michinoku. Jerry Lawler quickly interrupts before this can turn into too much of a trainwreck. Taka calls him a jackass, and Cornette introduces the first challenger, "El Unico". Oh please, it's so obvious who it is. And indeed, "Unico" is Brian Christopher. WHAT A SWERVE. They had no clue what people wanted from this division.
Flash Funk v. Kurrgan the Interrogator
Jackyl notes that Kurrgan's days of being a sideshow freak are over, which is pretty funny given what he turned into a couple of months after this. Kurrgan pounds Funk down and no-sells his comeback and puts him down with a big boot. IRON CLAW finishes at 2:24. DUD Kurrgan goes CRAZY and won't release, so the other Truth Commission members try to pry him off, and the ref reverses the decision. Yeah, that'll show him. Jackyl's cult leader character was always really interesting, but no one could make it work for whatever reason.
- ATTITUDE.
- Hour #2 is hosted by Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler.
DeGeneration X starts us out, doing their usual verbal blowjob of themselves, before Shawn gives another classic one: Owen Hart is the nugget of turd that just won't go away. He says what we're thinking! OK, not really. HHH freely cracks up here, but Chyna has to stay in character, sadly. So they're just gonna sit here and play strip poker until Owen comes out and faces him like a man.
Skull & 8-Ball v. Jose Estrada & Miguel Perez
Yup, the Boriquas v. DOA feud continues unabated. Skull powerslams Jose and drops elbows, and 8-Ball gets a clothesline for two. Miguel comes in with an elbow in the corner and a dropkick, but a sunset flip is blocked for two. The Boriquas choke away in the corner as Shawn does progressively worse at poker on the floor. Hot tag to the other bald guy and Savio uses a 2x4 on him and the Boriquas win at 4:43. Just brutal. 1/2*
- So the poker game continues, with Shawn now puffing on a cigar and refreshments served, and Chyna keeps winning. Sadly, the Headbangers come out and interrupt the game, so Shawn smashes the whiskey bottle on Mosh's head and Thrasher goes through the table. Good, that was pretty rude of them. And now Owen Hart finally does his run-in and beats on Shawn, before escaping into the crowd again.
Jeff Jarrett v. Vader
Aztec Warrior Jeff! Sadly, TAFKA Goldust heads out and "flashes" Vader, leading him on a chase that results in Jarrett winning by countout. Clearly they had no clue what to do with Jarrett.
Salvatore Sincere v. Marvelous Marc Mero
Mero goes on a rant before the match, EXPOSING Sincere as a "jobber" with a "stupid gimmick" named "Tom Brandi". My ears are burning at this use of insider terminology! Someone call Vince! McMahon, not Russo. JR responds to Mero's shots at the gimmick with "I'm a b-a-a-a-a-ad man". Touche. Sable comes out in a potato sack, but quickly reveals a very small bikini, giving us our second non-match countout finish in a row. Brandi's all "Who's the job guy now, huh?" Still you, Tom. Still you.
Intercontinental title: Steve Austin v. The Rock
Nope, another non-match, as Austin refuses to defend the title, so he has to face Vince's "consequences". And THE ROCK THINKS YOU SHOULD FIRE HIM. Vince: "You stay out of this." Awesomeness. Austin is looking past this rinky-dink title anyway, so Rock can have the belt, because he wants the WORLD TITLE. Rock's delight at getting the belt is great, as is his shocked reaction when Austin turns on him and gives him the stunner anyway. Austin takes the belt back (although Rock is the champion officially now) and promises big ratings next week.
Man, you sure don't watch these shows for the wrestling, as we're clearly into the Russo era now, with swerves and industry-exposing interviews and non-finishes out the yin-yang. But for 90 minutes that flies by and entertains the hell out of you, there's nothing better.
Tags: 24/7, Attitude, RAW, Shawn Michaels, SmarK Rants, Steve Austin, The Rock, Vince McMahon, Vince Russo, WWE
I have fond memories of this broadcast as it finally showed Rock-e was growing himself a personality. To be honest, the whole WWF was in a state of flux as more “real” stuff started coming in (The Brandi “shoot”, Owen coming out of the crowd, Vince, et al.).
Awesomeness still after all this time.
I am loving these old RAW’s on 24/7. You can just feel the WWF picking up steam from episode to episode. It’s amazing to see how fast the Rock climbed the ladder from essentially September to December of 1997. However, I still find myself groaning and hitting the fast forward button every time I hear DOA or Los Borriqua’s music…just like old times!
Its pretty interesting watching the old Raws how much momentum the WWF had from the Hart Foundation to Hell in a Cell…but it just came screeching to a halt with the whole Montreal fiasco. The month in between Survivor Series & IYH:DX was pretty bad…this is the show that turns it around for good as they just push Austin to the moon.
What I love about the Mr. McMahon heel turn, at least on screen, is how incredibly subtle (by wrestling standards) it is. I mean, he’s the boss of the company…of course he’s going to tell Austin to watch his language or order a rematch. If they had gone over the top with evil Mr. McMahon, I don’t think it would’ve worked…Mr. McMahon had to develop into a lunatic. Hell, at this point in wrestling, if he had gone into heel mode, he probably would’ve been cheered.
It’s kind of ironic that HBK’s “nugget” promo ended up putting Owen super over in late 1998 and into 1999. I remember going to a Raw in April 1999 and the crowd was there for 3 reasons: to cheer Rocky, to cheer Austin and to chant Nugget. It was deafening when Owen came out. Not to get all sentimental but Owen’s reactions to the Nugget chants were so priceless, the crowd kept it up for like 5 minutes straight at least…man Owen was awesome.
One of the things you notice in hindsight is how quickly Bret (even after beating Taker for the strap) and the Hart Foundation got put behind DX in the pecking order of things. They were basically setting up a reboot of the company centered around Austin, DX, and the Taler-Kane issue all the while seeing who or what else could emerge- Rock and the Outlaws primary among those who got a chance to shine.
Vince also doesn’t portray an entirely unsympathetic business owner here. It’s fun to see him start out as this guy (in his mind) fighting to keep order and fairness in his company only to turn into the obsessed Wily E. Coyote to Austin’s Roadrunner. The funny thing is that, objectively, he’s in the right with all the Austin stuff so far. I wouldn’t want one of my wrestler driving a pick-up to ringside during one of my shows.
I think it’s funny you’d call Vince the Coyote, because I’ve been watching Looney Tunes DVDs recently, and on the commentary for the Road Runner disc the guy talks about how Coyote fits the true definition of a fanatic: One who completely forgets the original purpose of his quest, and then re-doubles his efforts as a result. That definition would come to fit Vince (as a character) to a tee, as he fought with Austin so long and so fruitlessly that he would have long forgotten just why they were fighting in the first place, and in fact that’s exactly who I thought of when I heard it.
And that Scott Keith, is why Austin’s big heel turn in 2001 was a failure of EPIC proportions.
The overall pay-off should have been Austin turning into a villainous (but non-threatening) minion of Vinces, as far as him turning into the sort of “Corporate Champion” Vince wanted him to be in the beginning. Which would have brought the whole Vince/Austin feud to it’s natural conclusion, as far as heel turns goes.
Hell, corporate stooge Austin might have made HHH/Austin versus Kane and UT work if only by way of UT trying his damnest to bring Austin back to the light side. Not to mention give us a more logical reason for UT turning into a redneck biker, as far as UT morphing into a “Stone-Cold” type figure as a means to get inside of Austin’s head by becoming the very thing Austin rejected via turning evil.
But instead Austin stayed Austin and worse, began screaming “WHAT?” every five seconds, destroying his coolness in a blink of an eye.
WHAT?
Oh god no not again don’t let it start again
¿Qué?
I always thought in 2001, Austin should revert back to “Stunning” Steve Austin. Maybe even go back to the colored tights he used to wear. So he’d be the corporate stooge, doing whatever McMahon wanted…but the crowd would be booing Austin but be more upset at McMahon for doing that to their hero.
And then eventually, Austin could snap back to reality (which he basically did in late 2001) and became his old self again.
Then again, if they had just turned Triple H face the day after WrestleMania 17 like the crowd wanted and made sense…they would have walked straight into a pile of money. But they held it off and fate intervened. That was one of the all-time bonehead booking decision…Austin and Triple H have the definition of a blood feud (Triple H RUNS OVER Austin in a car, they go to war at No Way Out) and then they became tag team partners.
I think the whole thing was a sure sign that the WWF was starting to push what Vince/HHH/Stephanie wanted rather than what the fan wanted.
The whole “Austin turns heel” thing made no sense, except for the fact that the ultimate payoff was supposed to be a face HHH beating him for the title. Never mind that Austin was insanely popular as a face, or that HHH’s face run bombed. Forget that that when they did Austin-Rock, THE ROCK was booed out of the building! Or that they couldn’t even be bothered to come up with a dedent explanation why Aystin turned heel!
When HHH did get the Big Face Win at WMX-8 over Jericho it was exposed for the farce it was.