Hey! It's Tom the Actuary!
Scott –
Here’s my issue. I wrote a column for Rantsylvania.com back in the day that I have received requests for: one called “Bruiser’s Ghost”. I myself lost the original when my PC blew up. I tried years ago to solicit the former owner of that domain to see if a copy still existed – and you can imagine the outcome of that exchange. (I actually lost all of the columns I wrote back then). Is it possible to see if any of your current readers happened to have copied that column? I think, in Gorilla Monsoon’s words, it is “highly unlikely”, but I wanted to check… Thanks.
Thomas “The Actuary” Morey
Readers?
Tags: Blog Maintenance
It’s called the internet Wayback machine. I’d try there.
Also, why doesn’t Life get any due as the best new show on TV? This show is fantastic.
I checked all over the way back machine and it wasn’t on there. Though I did find one of yours called How Kevin Nash Saved Wrestling. Weird.
You can literally cut the tension with a knife in here.
werid that it isn’t on the wayback machine oh well. I guess truely history has been made!
I actually read that years ago, it was in first person with the writer visting the Puerto Rico shower ten years later and running into Brody’s ghost and telling him the show was canceled.
I didn’t find it, but I did find Scott Keith’s 1996 review of Uncensored. He did another version around 2004-05 under the flu, but this one was the greatest review of all time and I swear based on the different style and more fun-loving attitude that Scott Keith is actually been different people like people used to think Shakespeare and Homer were.
His view of the Finlay/Regal match
“Lord Steven Regal v. Belfast Bruiser. Okay, everyone who thought this match would be any good, put up your hands now.
Liar.
I was expecting the usual from Regal, especially against someone I’d never seen before in Finlay. Namely not much.
Wow, was I wrong. This was, in a word, brutal. Ugly, brutal, nasty, and very, very stiff. I don’t if these guys hate each other legit or what, but this featured the most vicious looking kicks and punches I’ve ever seen on a WCW show. Regal gets in crotchshot #2 in spectacular fashion. Tony gets in one of the great lines of the night when he sums up the match thusly: “This is a brutal, brutal match. They’re just beating the snot out of each other and we’re loving it.” Regal even juices hardway after a particularly ugly Finlay right. Finally, the Bluebloods run in and beat the crap out of Finlay for the DQ. Regal gives him one final insulting slap on the way out. This was just wild. It was so realistic that it was almost uncomfortable to watch at times, like when Regal got busted open. Something very different from a normally watered-down federation.”
My favortite was DDP vs. Beefcake
“Diamond Dallas Page v. The Bootyman (w/ Kimberly) (Career v. 6.5 million and Kimberly). Tony takes *yet another* shot at Johnny. Yeah, well, fuck you too, Tony. The announcers claim Hogan sent Brutus “Zodiac/Clipmaster/Bootyman/Butcher” Beefcake into the Dungeon of Dummies as a spy. Uh-huh.
Well, it’s nice to see Ed working to improve himself. He was, only a few weeks ago, still running a distant second to Giant Gonzales in the “Worst Wrestling in the History of the World” contest, but with the booty-shaking gimmick, he has now passed him! Congratulations and good job, Ed. Your hard work to further deteriorate yourself is not going unnoticed by people who used to think you were cool.
Hey, wasn’t this supposed to be an “I Quit” match? What’s with all these pinfall attempts? Tony talks about how Page has hit rock bottom, what with losing all his money, titles, and woman and all. That would seem to telegraph a miracle comeback win. So Page is controlling the match, but he tries to kiss Kimberly, she slaps him, Bootybarber hits the high knee, and DDP is out of wrestling.
Ahem. I must have typed that last part wrong. I could have sworn I just said DDP lost.
[Checking notes]
Shit. DDP lost.
Okay, insider types, does this mean his contract is up or something? If it is, then the whole storyline ranks, in my mind, as possibly the most humiliating way to dispose of a wrestler I’ve ever seen. If this is leading up to some huge payoff match for DDP where he wins it all back after coming out of retirement somehow, then this is an angle that’s gone on waaaaaaay too long. Either way, something is mighty screwed up here.”
Of course the greatest match on the card The Giant vs. Loch Ness review was the funniest sh-t I ever read.
“Giant v. Loch Ness. Mark your calendars, the Giant carries a match. Words can’t describe this one…the dropkicks, the flying headscissors, the senton by Loch Ness, followed by a Space Flying Tiger Drop by the Giant. Wow, what a classic.
All kidding aside, the Giant squashes Loch Ness in about a minute with a legdrop. I’m starting to like this guy.”
Check it out here its a classic: http://web.archive.org/web/20000304160455/www.rantsylvania.com/home/tapereviews/1996/wcw/0324keith.asp
No star ratings, I don’t know if I could handle a Scott review with no star ratings, it would just feel odd. I think I went to the Nitro after that show, it was in Biloxi I think.
I remember back during that era that WCW was actually smart because me and my dad would armchair quarterback each Nitro and felt it was making sense — only to find out years later it made none.
We were convinced the whole Nash and Hall telling DDP “You don’t get it” in late 1996 was that they, and Bischoff had allowed him to “come back” to WCW after losing to Beefcake. Does anybody remember the “mysterious benefactor” storyline where DDP got reinstated. I always thought they were hinting that it had been Bischoff all along. Of course, it led to nothing.