Scott’s Blog of Doom

Well, as I desperately try to avoid spoilers for the seventh book until Friday night, it was of course an ideal time to check out the fifth movie, having just read all 6 books in fairly short span.  

In a couple of words, really good.  It was pretty much a herculean task to take the kind of giant tome that was Order of the Phoenix and condense it into something under four hours, but they did as good a job as they were going to.  I have to wonder, though, how someone who was coming into it with only the movies as backstory would handle the emotions and reactions of the people in the movie compared to someone who actually knew who, say, Tonks or Kreacher was.  I don’t wanna be the Comic Book Guy sitting there and complaining about how Ron’s Quidditch expertise was chopped out, or how Cho Chang was kind of ruined (which is fine considering the change of romantic direction in the sixth book anyway), because the movie was entertaining and fun on it’s own regardless.  Especially the way that they trimmed everything down to Harry Potter v. Dolores Umbridge as far as the major conflict went.  The wizard battle royale at the end was particularly effective, holding true to the book and still being one of my favorite parts of the story. 

My own major complaint is the lack of adult presence in the movie.  Lupin, Sirius, Moody, Snape and Tonks were all major parts of the book and were all reduced to little more than cameos here, which is kind of a shame.  Ginny was also left with little to do besides standing around in the background, too, which is another shame.  However, Luna Lovegood was played perfectly and was a welcome addition to the group. 

Overall, probably one of the weaker entries in the series, but still a really good movie in the grand scheme of things.  I think the best is still Prisoner of Azkaban, but I was happy with the way Phoenix turned out. 

So I was needing something to read on the plane ride home and I picked up the “History of Champions” as a reference guide to replace my aging PWI Almanacs, and it turned out to be a fairly interesting magazine.  The reasons are as follows:

1)  Because it’s a couple of months out of date, it’s likely to be the last WWE publication where the name “Chris Benoit” will appear. 

2)  Whereas it’s a listing of title changes and lineage and such, there’s also a deeper subtext about everything that goes with holding a belt, which is pretty nice to see.  Ric Flair’s tips for new champions is pretty funny, like not wearing it as a cumberbund and always making sure to carry it around in a briefcase and stuff.  There’s even a quick interview with Joe Marshall, famed creator of WWE belts for years now.

3)  One thing that bugged was the snarky attitude throughout the mag, like the too-hip-for-the-room photo captions which are totally out of context.  Even worse, a section where they totally bury people who “didn’t deserve titles”, like Maven (what did HE ever do to them?) or the Headbangers.  Sure, David Arquette or Oklahoma deserve the abuse, but geez, you’re the ones who pushed the Bangers in the first place, don’t go turning on them now. 

4)  More annoying still was the selective inclusion of NWA lineages.  The US and Cruiserweight titles retain the full WCW/NWA title listing in their respective sections, for example, but another section about “people who never held WWE gold” includes Dusty Rhodes and Lex Luger, who are listed as former US champions in that section!  Can’t have it both ways, guys. 

Anyway, critiques aside, it’s a very entertaining and fun magazine for title geeks or those who need a reference guide while writing rants, like myself.  Check it out while you can.

OK, so as vacation wraps up for another year, I finally checked out The Illusionist on the movie channel and finally I can do a compare and contrast with The Prestige, a movie which I loved.  Now, after seeing both, I hardly consider this a fair fight, because I think Prestige was one of the best movies of 2006, whereas The Illusionist was just really good.  That being said, we can break it down to a few important factors if we want to compare:

1)  The actors.  Prestige featured Wolverine v. Batman, whereas Illusionist had Edward Norton and Paul Giamatti, both more likely to be found in a movie like Sideways.  Definitely the badass factor goes to Prestige here.  However, I’m more likely to enjoy an Edward Norton movie than a Hugh Jackman movie, while Giamatti v. Bale is a tie, so Illusionist wins in that regard.  So this is a tie overall.

2)  The hotties.  Vicious drag-out fight here.  I’m all about Scarlett Johanson, to the point where I’m volunteering to go see The Nanny later this month and making no secret as to the reason why, and that scene with Jessica Biel in the gay firefighter movie is almost enough to make me check it out on DVD if everything else in the store is rented and I’m drunk.  I dunno, man, this is tough.  Putting a gun to my head, I’d say that Biel is hotter, but it would be an agonizing decision.  I do think that both dying so early in their respective movies was a tragedy either way, but Jessica was a bit of a whore in the Illusionist so I’m giving Scarlet the win here. 

3)  The big plot twists.  Illusionist actually made sense, whereas Prestige was just kinda weird when it came down to it.  But sometimes I dig that.  Sometimes it’s cool when a movie has the guts to be all “The rules of the real world do NOT have to apply here”, whereas the Illusionist was all about telling you up front that it was all a trick, and letting you figure out the parameters of that trick yourself.  I’ll give the win to Prestige here for pushing the envelope a bit more.

4)  The magic.  Illusionist was so far outside of the realm of what 18th century Vienna stage magicians would have been pulling off that it was actually a bit hard to suspend disbelief, whereas Prestige actually explained most of the tricks and then made you WORK to figure out how The Big Trick was accomplished.  Eisenheim growing oranges via trick flowerpot was cool, but it was done by CGI magic and not real magic, whereas pretty much everything done in the Prestige was laid out step-by-step and can (and has) been pulled off by other magicians since the time of the movie.  Except of course for the teleporting thing, for obvious reasons for those who have seen the movie. 

Overall, I just plain liked Prestige more and felt like I was being taken on a ride of coolness by cool people, whereas the Illusionist was stylish and had a more solid plot, but never really cut loose with the goofiness of David Bowie playing Tesla like Prestige did.  I recommend seeing both and wish they’d put out a DVD 2-pack with them, but I’d watch Prestige again whereas Illusionist was pretty much a one-and-done movie for me. 

http://www.wrestlingobserver.com/wo/news/headlines/default.asp?aID=20158

A fabulous rant by Dave Meltzer, as he goes off against Ken Kennedy’s “personal choice” essay.  My favorite line:  “What personal choice did Nancy and Daniel Benoit make?”  Amen. 

And then, further down the update, we discover that Mark Henry wanted to retire 3 years ago, but Benoit convinced him to return.  Well, damn, we should have known THEN that he was no good. 

I’m sure everyone will have read this by now and will have formed their opinion on it, but let’s go over it anyway. 

http://www.ken-kennedy.com/

I think it’s wonderful that Mr. Kennedy advocates owning up to your own demons and taking responsibility for your own actions, and he’s definitely right about one thing — it’s much different now than it was 20 years ago, when guys were partying like rock stars.  20 years ago, the previous generation wasn’t dropping dead on a weekly basis.  20 years ago, I didn’t check magazines with a sense of dread waiting to see who the next early casualty would be.  And sure, just because someone dies of an overdose doesn’t mean it’s 100% the fault of the drug dealer, but don’t they deserve some share of the blame?  Has Vince McMahon EVER stepped forward and taken ANY responsbility for the fact that wrestlers previously under his employ have been dropping like flies for the past decade?  Even when he put forth the half-hearted “wellness policy”, which has crazy notions like “drug testing” that other employers have used for the past 30-40 years of so, he still wasn’t willing to come forward and say “You know, maybe when we train fans that the only main eventers are roided freaks, we’re doing a disservice to the business”.  Or maybe rehiring a multiple-time admitted user like Jeff Hardy is asking for trouble.  Or maybe waiting until Rob Van Dam is actually caught by the authorities smoking pot before firing him is asking for trouble. 

I’d like to agree with Ken that we’re all just being a bunch of worry-warts here who don’t know the business, but when I’m watching Wrestlemania V and literally counting, into the double-digits mind you, people who have dropped dead before 50 years of age since that show aired, maybe that says there MIGHT be a problem here. 

With apologies to Jon Stewart, of course.

Anyway, today we’re up the coast near Gibsons checking out the ocean (or offshoot of the ocean if you want to get technical about it) and to get there from Vancouver proper you have to take a ferry.  They’re generally packed so people line up in their cars about an hour early and wait for it to arrive so they can load up and leave on time.  This is the generally accepted common practice by the thinking people of the world.  Now, obviously an hour gives you some time to kill while you hang out outside the car and have a smoke (if you’re into that sort of thing) or take pictures of the scenery or whatever.  However, today we experienced the greatest thing ever:  Hungry Asians.  Keep in mind, this is a true story. 

So we pull up to wait for the 7:20 ferry and along side our car is a pair of other cars from what is presumably a group camping trip — a sedan and a mini-van, both loaded with what had to have been 15 people total.  As the parking lot fills up and we near the loading time of 7:00 PM, people start getting into their cars, what with the announcement from the PA system that now would be a good time to get back in your cars and all, and the family beside us has a better idea — supper!  And what better time and place to cook supper than the lineup of cars waiting to get into the ferry, so of course they pop the trunk of the sedan, revealing an entire box of instant noodle bowls and chopstick sets, and then proceed to produce a pot of what had to be very cold water and a portable propane heater.  So with people hurrying to get going, the patriarch of this clan of brain surgeons starts attemping to BOIL THE WATER with what has to be 1/4 less heat than what is in a typical hot-plate, while seated on a cooler in the middle of the road with his kids lined up with their noodle bowls and chopsticks in hand.  Finally, after TEN MINUTES of attempting to boil two liters of water with a low-powered blowtorch, they realize that ferry officials are waving entire lines of traffic around them and feebly try to figure out what to do with their pot of what can only be lukewarm water, by which time we had already driven past them and onto the boat.  Sadly, I don’t know if they ever got their noodles, but I can only hope for my own sanity that they did.  Because otherwise, what hope is there for any of us?

Well, vacation continues during a heatwave, so it was off to another movie in a nice, air-conditioned theater.  Well, maybe not so nice, as the only showing of Ratatouille here in Chilliwack was in the crack-infested part of town in the old theater.  But it was fine, because the theater itself was quite nice in an old-school way, and the movie was really funny and entertaining and very Pixar, even if we were accosted by an addict on the way back to the car.  But much like the message of the movie, we learned that even theaters run by rats could produce good film, much like the rats in the movie produced good soup.  It works on so many levels!  I also liked that they used mostly unknowns for the voices, which kept me from sitting there trying to guess the actor rather than enjoying the movie.  Not as purely funny as something like Toy Story was, or as inventive and genre-bending as The Incredibles, but definitely worth the $5 I paid for it and certainly worth buying the DVD when it comes out. 

Two best lines in the movie:  The german sous-chef claiming “I killed a man…with THIS THUMB!” and a throwaway line about the life of Gusteau, where they noted that food critic Ego deducted a star for his cuisine, which killed Gusteau…and then his death deducted another star, as is tradition in fine French cuisine.  Awesome.

The SmarK 24/7 Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 2/10/97

- So this show features Nitro from the Monday, and then Thursday RAW Thursday.  Since I’ve already done the Thursday RAW fairly recently, we’ll skip that and just cover Nitro here.  Since I’m on vacation and didn’t pack my stopwatch, no match times for you, I’m afraid. 

 
(more…)

Well, I watched about 5 seconds of it thanks to a power outage here tonight, as my vacations always seem to bring out natural disasters, but it didn’t seem like there was much going on anyway.  Discuss away!

“Hey Scott, I know I’m a little late with this but I just recently bought the
Bret Hart DVD and came up with what I hope would be a ideal listing for a
sequel, complete with dates and your star ratings.  Anything you would add
or delete on this list?
(Note: I tried to find a Rougeau Brothers/Hart Foundation match but none’s
been released on Coliseum Video as far as I know, except for the Brother
Love as referee one which was funny but didn’t really show off how well they
could work together.)”

You wound me.  You’re forgetting the obvious Coliseum video to check, namely the Hart Foundation one I just reviewed a couple of months ago.  Shame!

Anyway, on with your list.

Bret Hart: Excellence of Execution Fantasy DVD Listing
- 09/14/85  Bret Hart vs. Dynamite Kid   [1 of 1, no star rating given]
- 09/23/85  Hart Foundation vs. British Bulldogs  [From Best of the WWF Vol.
7, no rating from you that I could find.]
- 04/28/87  Hart Foundation vs. British Bulldogs [2/3 Falls] [1 of 1, no
star rating given, "Really good match" you said.]
- 11/11/87  Bret Hart vs. Randy Savage [***3/4]
- 03/89  Bret Hart vs. Ted DiBiase [****]
- 08/28/89  Hart Foundation vs. The Brain Busters [****1/4]
- 08/27/90  Hart Foundation vs. Demolition Smash & Crush [2/3 falls]
[***1/2]
- 07/21/92  Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels (ladder match) [****1/4]
- 10/12/92  Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair (Hart wins WWF World Title) [****1/2]
- 11/25/92  Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels [****1/4]
- 08/30/93  Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown & Jerry Lawler [****]
- 01/11/94  Bret Hart & Owen Hart vs. The Steiner Brothers [****3/4]
- 08/29/94  Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart (steel cage match) [*****] [I know this
match is already on the Bloodbath & Heavyweight Championship DVDs but I
figure if 'Hogan Vs. Andre the Giant' can be on, what?  5-6 DVDs now?  This
match deserves to be on three.]
- 11/17/96  Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin [*****]
- 02/16/97  Bret Hart vs. Vader vs. Undertaker vs. Steve Austin [****1/2]
- 07/06/97  Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart, British Bulldog and Brian
Pillman vs. Steve Austin, Goldust, Ken Shamrock & LOD.  [*****] [Can you
think of a better match to end a Bret Hart DVD?]
Extras: - 06/16/94  Owen Hart vs. The 1-2-3 Kid [****1/4]
         : - 02/26/97  Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog [Finals of European
Championship Tournament]
         : - 03/24/97  ”Respect”  Bret Hart’s Speech on Raw
         : - 03/31/97  Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog [No contest]; Bret
Hart reunites the Hart Foundation.
         : - 07/26/98  Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock [Dungeon Match] [***]
         : - 08/30/98  Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock [Lion's Den Match] [****]
Easter Eggs: - 1987  ”Bitch” Hart Foundation promo on the British Bulldogs
now being managed by Matilda
                 : - 1991  Pre-match promo with Hart Foundation before
Wrestling VII tag title match with the Nasty Boys.
                 : - 1993  Pre-match promo with Bret Hart Vs. Mr. Perfect
before semi-final match at King of the Ring 1993.
                 : - 1994  4 minute pre-match interview with Owen Hart
before Cage match (included on Bloodbath DVD too but what the hell.)