Hulkamania…FOREVER!
The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Hulkamania Forever!
- This is a Coliseum video from 1990, as evidenced by the wrestling figure ad at the beginning, complete with “WWF” getting bleeped even in commercial form. This goes away on Tuesday, so I figured I should get it done since it’s 100 degrees F here in Saskatoon and I’m not getting to sleep any time soon anyway.
- Your host is Sean Mooney.
WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. Randy Savage.
This is from London in 1989, with Liz in Hogan’s corner having apparently survived an encounter with an insane hairdresser armed with extensions and a curling iron. After some stalling, Hogan overpowers Savage on the lockup and then takes him down with the shoulderblock. Sherri, dressed more like a hooker than usual, tosses a chair at Hogan, but he catches it and takes a seat. Savage tries a headlock, but then runs away instead and we get some stalling. And some more, as Savage cuts a promo and then attacks Hogan from behind, only to get the worst of that situation. So after Hogan, sportsman that he is, beats up Sherri, he prevents Savage from doing the same to Liz and takes over in the ring. Hogan chokes Savage out, but when Sherri tries to report his rulebreaking to the ref, Liz dumps her into the ring! I never expected Elizabeth to get corrupted by someone like Hogan. Finally Savage gets a well-timed cheapshot and drops the axehandle to the floor, and back into the ring for another one. We hit the chinlock and Hogan powers out of it, but Savage head-fakes with a series of elbow attempts and then rolls him up for two by surprise. Back to the chinlock, which Hogan fights out of again, but he makes the mistake of going after Sherri again. Savage hits him with her purse and then drops the big elbow, but, well, you know. Big boot and legdrop at 14:03. Good entertainment value, not so much of a technical classic. **1/2
WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. “The Genius” Lanny Poffo.
From SNME #24 in November of 89. Hogan powers him out of the ring, but he gracefully returns and Hogan applauds it. Hogan slams him, however, and Genius is forced to use his amazing intellect to evade the big boot. He stops to write out a formula on one of his scrolls, which apparently spells doom for Hulk. How can you not love this match? They fight over a lockup and Genius gets a cheapshot, thus annoying Hulk. So Genius prances and minces while Hulk waits him out, until he’s ready to charge out with a lariat that nearly rips his head off. Tremendous. Corner elbow and atomic drop follow, and a backdrop suplex sets up the elbowdrops. Hogan hammers away while Mr. Perfect joins us at ringside and disrespects the belt by spitting gum on it. Hogan chases him, but runs into the post. Back in, it’s a Genius moonsault for two. Hulk Up Time, and Poffo’s reaction is classic, as he quickly eats the big boot after nearly shitting his pants in terror. So they trade backrakes as Genius desperately alters the game plan, and then Poffo takes a great bump as Hogan tosses him to the floor. He makes the mistake of chasing him out, however, and after tossing his victim back into the ring, Perfect clocks Hogan with the belt and the most famous upset in SNME history is complete at 8:35. ** Not a great wrestling match or anything, but for comedy value and entertainment it was tremendous.
- Dino Bravo and Earthquake attacking Hogan somehow segues into Hogan giving one his all-time great non-sensical egomaniacal promos about how Hogan is going to “save” the Warrior from the darkness, which is then topped by Warrior apparently speaking a foreign language that only insane monks who are stoned on PCP can understand.
WWF title v. Intercontinental title: Hulk Hogan v. Ultimate Warrior.
Forget all the rest, this was the match that sold out the Skydome and the match that the whole card was judged on. The heat for this is UNREAL, with the crowd divided 50/50. Staredown to start and they do the shoving match, and then the lockup, which Warrior wins to start. Another lockup, and Hogan wins that one. The crowd is popping for everything. Warrior wants a test of strength, so they do that, and Warrior gets the advantage, but Hulk fights up from one knee and powers him down again. Warrior fights it off, so Hogan legsweeps him and drops an elbow for one. They do the CRISS-CROSS OF DOOM and Hogan slams him, but Warrior no-sells it. So they try it again, and this time Warrior slams him, and Hogan stays down. Clothesline to the floor, and Hogan whines to Hebner about hurting his knee. Hulk Hogan: Bumping Maniac. The selling is Oscar-worthy material. Warrior smartly goes right after the knee, as Hogan bravely fights off the fake pain and they head back in. Warrior goes for the knee, but Hogan rakes the face to hold him off, and they choke each other as the knee injury disappears for good. Hogan slugs Warrior from behind and clotheslines him in the corner, then hammers away on him. Hogan drops a pair of elbows for two. Front facelock, as Warrior is now blown up and Hogan has to carry the match. Let me repeat that: HOGAN has to CARRY a match. He gets the small package for two and hits the chinlock. He hammers on Warrior while down there, and then slugs away in the corner and chops him down. Axe Bomber gets two. Shoulderbreaker gets two. Back to the chinlock, as Warrior is sucking wind. Hogan works on the back and gets a backdrop suplex for two. Back to the chinlock, as we wait patiently for Warrior to join us back in the world of oxygen-breathing mammals again. Warrior fights out with elbows and they clothesline each other and both guys are out. Warrior is the first up, as he shakes the ropes to recharge his batteries, and Hogan is FLUMMOXED. Warrior slugs away on him and gets the THREE CLOTHESLINES OF DEATH and some chops in the corner, and Hogan is begging for mercy. Suplex gets two. Guess he’s feeling better. And now it’s bearhug time. But man, once you’re not watching it live with a coliseum full of people on closed-circuit TV, the drama is reduced a lot. Ref is bumped on another criss-cross, and Warrior goes AERIAL, baby, hitting Hogan with a double axehandle. He misses a shoulderblock, however, and Hogan faceplants him, but there’s no ref. Warrior recovers with a backdrop suplex, and the ref is still out. Man, criss-crosses are a hazard to referees everywhere. The ref finally recovers and Warrior gets two. Hogan gets a rollup for two. Hogan slugs away and elbows him out of the ring, and they brawl outside. I was getting visions of a double-countout at this point in 1990, but it just ends with Hogan hitting the post as they head back into the ring. Warrior hits him with a clothesline and botches the gorilla slam (I mean, how do you screw that up?) and the big splash gets two, as it’s Hulk Up Time. Punch punch punch, big boot…but the legdrop misses, and Warrior splashes him for the pin and both titles at 22:46. I can actually appreciate Hogan’s efforts in carrying Warrior moreso than both the original viewing and the original rant in 1999, and really the rest spots don’t hurt it that much compared to the awesome drama of Pat Patterson’s intricately booked spots here. ***1/2 Hogan, however, should have left to go make a movie or whatever, but he DIDN’T, and Warrior’s reign was immediately sabotaged because he was stuck in the shadow of Hogan and left as #2 babyface, even when he was supposed to be drawing on top. That’s why Hogan was champion again in 1991, and why he was the smartest dude in wrestling for so long.
Hulk Hogan v. Earthquake
Quake attacks from behind and uses the CLUBBING FOREARMS to subdue Hogan, but an elbow misses and Hogan slugs back. He follows with the corner clothesline and tries to knock Quake down with clotheslines, but then goes after Jimmy Hart instead of following up. Quake runs him into the post a couple of times, and they head back in for a powerslam and big fat elbow from Earthquake. Another one gets two. A quick bearhug and Quake pounds away in the corner, but charges and gets sent into the corner as a result. Hogan tries slugging again to set up a bodyslam, but that’s not happening. Hulk unloads the punches in the corner and tries another slam, apparently having learned nothing, and Quake falls on top for two. Geez, take a hint. Quake goes back to the bearhug as Gorilla discusses Hogan’s Immortality with Alfred. I never got that logic — he LOSES the match against Warrior, so that makes him Immortal? Didn’t that show pretty clearly that he was MORTAL? Anyway, Quake powers him down and looks to finish with the butt splash, but it’s hulk up, big boot, legdrop, and Jimmy runs in for the DQ at 8:31. I continue not to understand that finish — clearly Hogan had the guy beat, so how does it protect the heel to have him lose by DQ instead? Paint by numbers Hogan match. *1/2
- Meanwhile, on the Brother Love Show, Earthquake lays out Hogan and sits on him, sadly only putting him out of action until Summerslam. Hogan, in great pain, still has enough wits about him to clutch his gold chain, obviously terrified that Rene Goulet would attempt to pawn it so he could afford to eat.
- This sets up one of the lamest video packages ever done by the WWE, with a montage of Hogan beating up heels while the screen flashes “Hulk Rules!”, followed by an ominous organ arrangement of the theme to signify his injury at the hands of Earthquake, and then closing on a dramatic shot of his locker closing. GET WELL, HULK! Or don’t, whatever.
- Hulk Hogan v. Earthquake. Eh, not in the mood for this again, so let’s cut and paste and move on.
It should be noted that my father, who is a noted sadist, printed out a huge “GET WELL HULK” poster and hung it in my room while I was asleep, just to piss me off. Tugboat was supposed to be in Hogan’s corner, but he ate one Ring-Ding too many and exploded, so Bossman takes his place. I keep waiting for Tugboat to come crashing through the backdrop in a Stormtrooper helmet during the pre-match interview, but he disappoints as usual. TO THE MATCH! Hogan tries a shove out of the lockup, but Quake is JUST TOO FAT! None of Hulk’s subsequent lockups work, so he bails. Man, if THAT’S all it takes to outthink Hogan, put me in there with him. Hogan tries a slam, and it doesn’t work. Duh. A series of right hands doesn’t work either, until he windmills his arm like Popeye, and then that one knocks him down, presumably because of the increased momentum, but you’d really have to ask one of the physics guys on RSPW/M. Hulk and Bossman double-team Quake in full view of the ref, so Quake and Bravo double-team Hogan when he’s not looking. Gotta love the hypocritical booking of Hogan’s matches. See also: Motorcycle helmets with fists attached. Quake hits a double-axehandle off the top and…STOMPS ON HIS HAND! Man, that’s just MEAN! Someone tell Quake’s mommy. Quake gets a Boston crab, but it’s Philadelphia so Hogan is able to make the ropes. Hogan bails again (COWARD! ORANGE SKINNED FREAKISH CHICKEN!) and gets beate up by Bravo. Back in the ring, as Earthquake misses a big elbow and Hogan goes for the slam again (what a moron), but of course Quake falls on him for two. Why? Say it with me, kids…HE’S JUST TOO FAT! Bearhug. Hey, that’s what I was wanting to pick up the pace. Hulk always knows how to make me happy. Hulk rips apart Hebner’s shirt while trying to escape. Don’t ask me why. A couple of shoulderblocks stagger the Quake, and Hulk actually tries a BODYPRESS, thus putting him in Jushin Liger territory compared to his usual arsenal. Sadly, Quake catches him and slams him, so we’ll never know the outcome of that particular experiment. Quake hits the FAT-ASSED BUTTSPLASH OF DOOM and Vince mourns Hulk’s career, but he doesn’t want the pin yet. Another splash, but Hulk kicks out. See, ONE splash was enough to put Hercules in the hospital, but Hulk takes TWO and then kicks out. Don’t you just LOVE the guy? Hulk up, big boot, slam (this time it works, psychology be damned), but the 84th Airborne runs in and both guys end up outside the ring. There’s a table that is inexplicably at ringside, so Hogan slams Quake on it and beats the count in at 13:17. The table doesn’t break. It should be noted that if it HAD broken, ECW would have officially stolen their best idea from the WWF. Just wanted to point that out. 1/4* The reason why Hogan didn’t get a pinfall win eludes me to this day.
- Mean Gene has a word with Hogan on the set of Suburban Commando.
Hulk Hogan v. Ted Dibiase. Just the last couple of minutes of their title match from SNME #23 in October of 89. Hulk up and it looks like a Zeus run-in for the DQ, but Hogan cradles for the surprise pin instead. Good little match.
Hulk Hogan & Tugboat v. Dino Bravo & Earthquake.
This looks to be a dark match from a Superstars taping in 1990, before they gave up on Tugboat. Hulk starts with Bravo as Hayes notes that Hogan is not the kind of selfish wrestler who hogs all the glory for himself. Poor Alfred was obviously going senile even back then. After some stalling, Hogan powers Bravo into the corner and the faces double-team him and work on the arm. Speaking of Tugboat, since the angle is dead and buried now I can reveal that Dusty Rhodes tried hard to have Shockmaster be the mastermind behind Vince McMahon’s attempted murder, which I guarantee would have been better than whatever the eventual payoff would have been. Anyway, Hogan gets his showdown with Earthquake and pounds away in the corner, then follows with a corner clothesline and slams him on the first try. Tugboat comes in and slams Bravo, which is less impressive. Double boots for the heels, but poor stupid Tugboat gets double-teamed by the heels and slammed. Quake drops an elbow and Bravo comes off the top with a forearm for two. Double clothesline gets two. Blind charge hits boot and it’s hot tag Hogan, and he quickly rolls up Bravo for the pin at 8:13. Just a standard “send the crowd home happy” match. *1/2
The Pulse:
Unless you LOVE Hogan v. Earthquake or haven’t bought any of the 134 DVDs that feature Hogan v. Warrior, take a pass on this.
Thankfully, “Hulkamania Forever” was a threat, and not a promise.
Yeah, the wrestling on this show sucked (with the exception of Warrior/Hogan) but what a fun trip down memory lane. That’s why WWE 24/7 is so great for a wrestling geek like me. I just got to stroll down my memories as an 8 year old wrestling fan. Fantastic. I read on History of WWE that the Macho/Hogan match was the headline for the first WWF show in London (or England maybe). Pretty historic I’d say.
I’ve never understood the whole ‘it wasn’t good but it was entertaining’ thing. Isn’t the whole point to entertain?
It’s like this. Dodgeball is a funny movie, an entertaining movie, but it’s not Casablanca, you know?
So you’re saying that Bogart set out to not be entertaining?
Now you’re just arguing for the sake of arguing.
Any well understood art form can be criticized for its technical merit, in addition to its entertainment value. Entertainment value is a subjective measurement, anyway.
Saying that something isn’t good but is entertaining, implies that something can be good but not entertaining. And that doesn’t make any sense.
Sure it does. In the recent discussion of star ratings, Scott made reference to the Hardy’s having a formula where they can get a good match, but it bored him and only broke 3 when they did something unique to change it up.
And me personally, there have been movies like “Finding Neverland” or whatever I was forcing into seeing that looked pretty and seemed pretty well acted, but just bored me to death.
But in the grand scheme of things, the goal is to entertain. You’re saying that unentertaining matches can get higher ratings than entertaining matches. That seems to fly in the face of the whole point of rating them. I can’t imagine the two participants go in the back and congratulate themselves because ‘I know the crowd didn’t care but we didn’t use any chinlocks. Lets go ask for a raise!’
Dude, just look at the star rating he gave it. He gave it **1/2 and that says it was entertaining. But compare that to Hogan/Savage at WrestleMania V, which broke ****. That was entertaining too but in a completely different way, entertaining in an edge of your seat, the fate of the wrestling world is decided by the result of this match. The rematch Scott reviewed here is just a fun match that entertains the crowd.
I think the problem you’re having is that you’re lumping far too much together as entertaining. There are varying degrees of entertaining that you don’t seem to have a grasp on. If you can’t tell the difference between Dodgeball entertaining and Casblanca entertaining, then you’re not going to be able to tell the difference between Hogan/Savage at WrestleMania and headlining a pseudo-house show.
Yeah. I don’t think you get it.
No, you don’t get it.
OK, let’s say you watch McMahon v. McMahon from WM X-7. Is that a “good” match, in the sense of what we (as smart fans) consider a good match? No, not really. But it’s fun as hell. It’s entertaining.
Thus, “it wasn’t *good,* but it was entertaining.”
Also it is possible for a match to be good but “entertaining”, see Briscoe V Funk 60 minute draw. Same goes for movies, see all movies by Jean Luc Godard sans Breathless, My Life to Live, and A Woman is a Woman.
*not “entertaining” sorry.
You guys are right. That’s why when I describe some sexual experiences that I’ve had, I say they were technically superior but I didn’t enjoy them. Those get the really high marks. Once that feel really good but don’t have the requisite position changes are clearly inferior.
I need an eye-rolly emoticon here.
I have no idea what you’re talking about and you’ve totally lost me with the sex reference. Pro wrestling is entertainment so good match entertain, natch. The difference is in the amount of entertain in the match. A match with little substance that is essentially a fun match for like 10 minutes is going to be rated lower than a 30 minute match with heat and drama that is a different kind of fun.
If I were to rate my sexual experiences, I’d do the same thing. Every single one of them are entertaining. But I’d give some *** and some have hit the magic ***** level. If every sexual encounter you’ve ever had has just been entertaining, with no differential in quality, than that’s just odd.
I just realized that assigning star ratings to girls I’ve slept with is awesomely nerdy and I love it.
I’m done trying to explain to you that finding entertainment to be unentertaining but still good is ridiculous. You are just to dense.
No John Sorrow, don’t be done! Please stay and continue to write lameass sarcastic comments after everything in a desperate attempt to prove your message board superiority. We need you!
This is not a message board. Its a blog.
What does “to dense” mean? To make more dense?
I’ll throw out an example to explain.
When Space Jam came out Siskel and Ebert gave it two thumbs up, not because Jordan was doing Hamlet, but within the confines of the genre it was a very funny movie.
The Original Donald
Someone named a hockey team the Ducks? What kind of Mickey Mouse organization would do that????
Right. But that implies that like in film, there are wrestling matches that aim to entertain and there are wrestling matches that aim to make you think. Which is just ridiculous. I don’t really think Batista and Khali are going to be sitting down and discussing how the eye gouge in the middle of their match is really a comment on the human condition.
Actually, yes, there are different matches along the lines you are asking. Openers, comedy, jobber, main event matches, all have a different point. Not every match is out to set new levels of 5 star wrestling accumen and leave everyone breathless and smoking cigarettes from the edge of the seat entertainment.
Put hey, I thought you left us yesterday to wallow in our own crapulence?
Don’t they have air conditioning in Canada? I could see why it would usually be redundant…but still.
Anywho…I bought this from the local video store when it was going out of business and have yet to watch it to this day. I may have to throw the Hogan/Poffo match onto a compilation somewhere along the line though, it sounds pretty entertaining.
Yeah, I actually *rented* it a few years ago and totally enjoyed that match. One of my favorite Hogan matches ever.
On another note, is my memory cloudy or is the Hogan/Genius match from SNME #24 the one that spawned the belt that would become the Hardcore title?
” Liz in Hogan’s corner having apparently survived an encounter with an insane hairdresser armed with extensions and a curling iron”
Liz was in Paris during the same period, during their “1989 World Tour” where her hair looked wierd and her stomach looked . . . well very round. PWI was even rumoring she was pregeant (sic) at the time and she did kind of quickly vanish from WWE-Tv in September 1989 until April 1990. A 411 reporter she and Randy ever had kids, nor did she by herself, but there are just things as abortions and miscariages and she was a focal host of “Wrestling Spotlight” with Vince McMahon until she vanished around September/October 1989.
I’ve kept asking this question for years, and nobody has ever tackled it. Kind of wierd they overly made her up during the European tour when they really didn’t need too.
“A 411 reporter she and Randy ever* had kids, nor did she by herself”
*should be NEVER, sorry.
* * *
As Dusty Rhodes once said, “You can not beat my prices, but you sure can beat my meat.”
It’s incredibe to think how much more depth there was to the roster in those days. In the current era, the top guys have all feuded with each other at least once, so there are rarely fresh match-ups.
Compare this to late 80/early 90s when Hogan was on top. He could have had entertaining feuds with the likes of Jake the Snake, Mr Perfect, Rick Rude, Beefcake, Bret Hart, British Bulldog, Dusty Rhodes, etc, etc.
I know the fact they only ran 4 PPVs a year in that era meant the need to create fresh feuds wasn’t as important as it is in today’s market, but still, there seemed to be far more guys who potentially could have challenged each other.
When you look at the lack of options today, it kinda puts today’s roster to shame. The lack of options at the top of Smackdown right down is pathetic. While even on Raw, they’re having to reinvent old feuds (Booker v Triple H) and push guys like Randy Orton into the main event of the second biggest PPV of the year.
I was very happy that the Savage-Hogan match was on this show. Back in my younger days, I would rent World Tour 1990 quite often so I vividly remembered the match. Like Scott said, not a classic but its entertaining and holds a special place in my memory.
I was a bit disappointed by the fact that the Hogan-Millon Dollar Man match was just the last three to four minutes. I am a huge Million Dollar Man fan and love watching his matches.
I was a bit surprised that Scott didnt mention the fact that Hulk Hogan called “President” Jack Tunney senile during the On the Set of Suburban Commando piece. I just found it really funny because a) Hogan was a face and the only people who would run down Tunney were Jesse Ventura and the Brain, b)Tunney did seem a bit out of it a lot of times
I seem to remember Hogan getting in snide remarks abotu Tunney in quite a few promos.
Off the top of my head, I think he called Tunney “senile” sometime around WrestleMania VIII. Not 100% sure though.
I know that Jake Roberts did at his WMVIII promo. Maybe you’re thinking of that?
Since the usual place with an ECW thread is down, I’d like to point out I called the Stevie Richards win. I randomly announced that I thought Richards would get his (I think) first win tonight, and low and behold. Good for you, Stevie!
Yeah, power outage and all that. Who knows when it’ll be back up.
Yeah, it’s all of livejournal I guess. I see from Wikipedia that Richards previously beat Balls Mahoney in November I think. I’m just surprised, I had said I had a good feeling about it.
Let’s just use this place.
By the way, I saw that Ted Dibiasi Jr. was signed today. Color me suprised. A good worker who’s actually had time to get experience in Japan from NOAH/SEM. I thought they had lost they’re shit when signing the talentless showoff Teddy Hart.
DiBiase Jr.’s OK, he’s got a good look but little intensity. Skill-wise he’s all right, but I’ve only seen him in NOAH six-mans. And he does have a built-in gimmick as a trust fund baby.
I saw him do a tag and a single in SEM. They were both solid considering that he’s a rooky and how safe everyone is in SEM.