Who killed Vince?
I know everyone is like “Oh man, Vince dying was so stupid” but really it’s the natural evolution of the storytelling in wrestling, as they’ve never really touched on killing off major characters for shock value the way that other soap operas have. It’s also a sign that they have very little left in the tank, as killing people off as a storytelling crutch was something that helped to do Oz in at the end, although thankfully they never had a draft lottery to put people from the Homeboys into the White Supremacists to shake things up.
Anyway, if we’re playing by the logical rules of the game, the question then becomes “Who killed Mr. McMahon”, which is also the perfect time to introduce a hard-boiled detective character to investigate, but that’s another conversation.
The suspects!
- Bret Hart. Pretty obvious,and he was conveniently elsewhere during the explosion.
- HHH. Has the most to gain from Vince’s death, but that doesn’t play according to the rules of the storyline, which is that we’re not supposed to know who knocked up Steph.
- Shane or Stephanie. Shane is more likely in storyline terms, Steph in real terms, because Shane doesn’t get the company if Vince dies in real life.
- Randy Orton. Hey, it would be the ultimate way to put him over, wouldn’t it?
- Cheatum the Evil Midget. He’s got a history with this sort of thing. However, we didn’t see any large bombs in the vicinity, nor Sid Vicious, so I’d rule it out.
- The Little Bastard. Also a midget. Coincidence?
- Fit Finlay. Irish and without an alibi. Come to think of it, so’s the midget. Hmmm.
- Ron Simmons, Shelton Benjamin, Bobby Lashley. Who knows, maybe it’ll be the LAPD investigating?
- Everyone in the arena. Seems the most likely.
I’m betting we’ll get them further cheapening the bell salute next week on Raw, and go through a funeral. The Bossman will also make an appearance, dragging McMahon’s casket away via truck. A few months from now, a hooded figure will stalk the wrestlers of the WWE, only to appear at Summerslam, reveal McMahon, who shouts, “IT WAS ME AUSTIN, IT WAS ME ALL ALONG.” Oh yeah. Fake your own death. How more soap opera can you get?
Hope it’s Snitsky. It’s not his fault!!!
He has killed before.
You forgot Khali. He’s already slaughtered one innocent soul.
Oh, and I’d also like to point out that, unlike the “deaths” of Paul Bearer and Tim White, no one seems too offended by Vince “dying.” One would assume Vince would want to have WWE.com issue a “No, he’s not REALLY dead” statement.
Ummm…wishful thinking, maybe? (Not that I condone wishing death on people)
It’s that damn DX!!!
Katie Vick killed VKM.
Other possibilities:
Rikishi: It probably has something to do with getting Umaga a title match.
The Undertaker: Has a history of attempted murder.
Kane: See above.
Eric Bischoff: If you were Bishcoff, wouldn’t you want Vince dead?
Paul Heyman: See above.
DX: They’ve pulled pranks on Vince’s limo before. Of course, no current or former member of DX is on the active roster. I guess it could have been HHH and HBK.
The nWo: They, too, have attempted murder before and it happened to involve The Rock’s limo.
The Jackass guys: I’ve heard this as a legitimate rumor.
I’m sure there are many many others, each more ludacris than the one before.
Most likely, it ends up being Vince, himself, since faking his own death is the only way they can attempt to reconsile this storyline with reality.
Maybe it was YOU Scott, you killed Vince! Having to still watch a crappy WWE product to review it for us has sent you off the deep end and you wanted to fix the situation. With Vince out of the way you may get better storylines and more talented wrestlers on the shows you review. You just want more stars, thats it isn’t it. Isn’t it funny you are the first to make up a list of suspects that have nothing to do with you.
Maybe you’re plan is just a bit more sinister, next you’ll take out Stephanie. If you do go for it by the way, go for a mock suicide, it’ll look better. After that you’ll set you’re eyes on Linda but not to kill her. You’ll give her time to get over the death of her husband (2, maybe 3 days tops) and then you’ll move in and marry her. After that you can run the WWE and you’ll be able to get ALL the stars you want.
Well Scott, thank you for doing what needed to be done and good luck.
Peace
Brian
Kind of makes me wish Scott had been gone over the weekend, just for amusement’s sake.
This is Inspector Jacques Clouseau. My dear man, everyone is a suspect - but I have limited it down to a few.
Suspects:
1. Hulk Hogan: Vince McMahon has done everything to screw this man from the riches he truly deserves. Although he is battered and old, and proved that he couldn’t draw in Memphis or was sabatoged by Vince to look bad in Memphis outside of the Hogan fateful– so Hogan blaming Vince for the Memphis stuff — planted a bomb in Vince’s limo and killed him.
2. Paul E: Killed his vision of what true wrestling and ECW was. Decided to show Mr. McMahon what BEING EXTREME was all about.
3. Jesse Ventura: Last time we saw him outside of last night on WWE TV he looked like a member of the Taliban, and looked like a terrorist. So it would be possible that Jesse planted the bomb.
4. Vince McMahon himself. Either A. He commited sucide, or B. He faked his death to shake up the federation and put Bobby Lashley at ease before returning from the dead and beating Lashley up. Since there is no body at this time, one could assume that Vince faked his own death. In terms, however, if this was indeed a sucide — it was done because the man went “over the edge.”
5. Bobby Lashley: Been screwed six ways til Sunday by Vince over and over again. The brother might have hooked up with Cryme Tyme and you know “jacked up” Vinnie’s ride, bro and make sure he sleep with the “feeshes.”
6. Bret Hart. Although he’d wouldn’t even get in the ring at Wrestlemania just to be there to be honored — but agreed to actally do a promo on Vince. Wierd.
7. The ghost of Eddie Gurrero: It is possible that finally after all these years Eddie had had enough of his death being used for money and returned to the dreams of Chavo and Vickie and they both conspired to kill Vince. I mean, no offense to Eddie’s people, but Eddie lied, cheated and stole and could have hotwired the car to blow. Ot had his family do it through his spirtiual powers.
8. That guy that lifted the briefcase at King of the Ring 1999.
9. Kane. I mean Kane can shoot fire from his fingertips, and wouldn’t need a bomb.
10. Doink the Clown. He is a clown, you know . . . and some of his pranks were twisted in the old days. Or it might have been a happy Doink with a trick that just went bad.
11. That guy on the Muppet Show that used to blow stuff up.
12. Al Wilson’s ghost for firing Dawn Marie.
13. Sabu — Well he is of arab descent, and WWE did fire him.
14. Muhammed Hassan — see Sabu
15. Vince McMahon — accidental. You see this isn’t like the one before. I say Vince was smoking zee crack pipe and the pipe exploded.
16. Shane or Stephanine — for no reason other than the usual reason.
“8. That guy that lifted the briefcase at King of the Ring 1999.”
If you wanted to get really obscure, how about the guy who drove that black (then white) Hummer back in WCW in 1999 (then 2000)?
Scroll down, I already said that…haha
Actually he said it first.
Indeed, he did.
Right you are…my bad…well I probably thought of it first…haha
What about the person who sold Baby Doll the mysterious Dusty photos? The one who sold the New Breed (not Striker, Burke, et al) their time machine?
I guess I’ll be the first to say… Don’t worry, he’ll be back on SmackDown with a band-aid on his head and a few scratches. Nothing major, just a flesh wound.
You idiots! It was Jokey Smurf!
“It’s a surprise! Bwahahahahahahahaha!” BOOOOOOM!
Emo’s pretend to cry while gulping down Venti Latte’s from Starbucks. Posers!
Robot Chicken FTW!
I’m sorry, I’m not up on all the hip, cool internet lingo. FTW? I love Robot Chicken, but I loved the Smurfs even more growing up. But I’ve hated emo’s for freakin’ ever! What a bunch of corporate-sponsor consuming, bad poetry-writing, Simple Plan-loving losers.
FTW = “Fuck the World.” It was Taz’s self-made title back in ECW.
For the Win
Yep, for the win.
WHAT A TWIST!
It was me who killed Vince McMahon, Austin. It was me all along.
It was the guy that was driving the black…I mean white…I mean black Hummer from WCW…
either that or the Gobbedly Gooker
Ok, just read on Meltzer that this is going to be the focal point of TV for “the foreseeable future,” and that Creative has decided to concentrate more on milking this angle and the draft than on promoting the next PPV. I wish I could be surprised at this.
Wow, just as soon as they have a really interesting show Monday and a truthfuly surprising ending, they’re going to make all their shows shitty with the ghost of McMahon still hogging the spotlight. The worthless recaps and bell ringing tonight were god awful. I guess they won’t even start a tournament for the ECW belt yet. I hope they get a record low for Vengeance.
Maybe Vince did it to himself. He does like the “dead man” Undertaker gimmick allot. He might return as the Vincentaker!
Paul London.
Did you see that giant sh*t eating grin on his face as Vince walked near him.
HE KNEW.
But if it’s not him it’s Daivari, because I’m an awful stereotypist.
I dunno, Iron Sheik and Snuka looked pretty subdued last night, like they had something else on their minds…
Nah…we all know Sheiky’s M.O.involves suplexes, the camel clutch, and humbling.
My money is on Miss Scarlet. Its always the hot one.
How about Randy “Macho Man” Savage???
Yes, then he can come out and admit that not only did he have his way with Stephanie 15 years ago, but HE is the father of Aurora Rose! And there’s nothing Vince can do about it! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
It was Crazy Ol’ VERNE GAGNE!!!!
I now can hear Jim Ross voice when Vince McMahon returns: “OMG, HE’S ALIVEEEEEEEEEEE, MR. McMAHON LIVESSSSSSS”.
Let’s break out the FRUITY! DELICIOUS! FRUITY! FRUITY! BY GAWD THEY’RE FRUITY! SKITTLES!
Has anybody thought about framing Roger Rabbit for this?
It was that kid from Accepted.
I’m usually one of the first to rant on something stupid, but it took me considerable time to come to the conclusion that this was not stupid. If you didn’t think that time when you could pass off professional wrestling as a real sport had passed before, the rise of MMA has certainly sealed it’s fate. The only way professional wrestling is going to remain relevant in the mainstream is to package the in ring action as part of an overall storyline. This was not like a cheesy WCW video…this was a quality production that will get people interested in finding out who did this.
Of course, whether this will enhance or hinder the actual wrestling product remains to be seen.
Only thing is, after Owen and Eddie, is it possible to do this without anyone being offended/feeling like their lives were devalued by having fake deaths treated equally? (or even treated BETTER…I can practically hear people starting to complain, “So why won’t Randy Orton do a promo saying Vince is in hell, huh? Huh?”)
I suspect the Sparrow, but we’ll need Gil Grissom to investigate.
The Original CSIer
WHO ARE YOU???????
Anyone think this angle just tempts fate in the worst way? They’re going to do all this shit and then an actual big name wrestler will die in an accident and then they will realize how awful this was.
I know that they think it’s funny and it’s tasteless and just for yuks but it’s pretty insulting. They already put the fans through enough shitting all over Eddie after what would’ve been a fine tribute to him with the Raw and Smackdown episodes dedicated to his memory with all of the cheesy angles and Vicky drama. It really hurts us as fans when one of our favorite wrestlers die; they could not rub that in our face with this kind of angle.
Exactly. I know they want to be more and more entertainment-like, just like another TV show, with death storylines and everything. But it just can’t be done. There is that little bit of rooting in reality that wrestling always had, so you really can’t have the freedom producers of other genres of television have.
And as you saw from my comments above, I think they REALLY shouldn’t, heck, CAN’T, do death angles after all the real deaths. Some people will be offended, while others will just be confused between what’s storyline and what’s real life. (pleasant memories of people asking if Pillman’s death was a work, or if Owen faked his death and was being brought back as the Higher Power…) It also makes you look insincere if you pay tribute to wrestlers who really died, and then go back to being so nonchalant about the subject of death.
P.S. add to the end of that last paragraph, “And especially when you may or may not have indirectly caused many of those deaths due to the demands of your business.”
What really pisses me off is that they defend this kind of thing with their bullshit “it’s entertainment, it’s a TV show, it’s just like The Sopranos or 24″. No it’s not, it’s real people mostly going by their real name and they’re really dying all the time. It’s sports, not television and there’s a really low survival rate for these guys. But we’re just all fucking stupid jerkoffs for caring and being offended.
I really disagree Chansey. Just because wrestlers perform harder than other actors would, they’re still actors at the end of the night. RAW is a TV show like 24 or the Sopranos, and like Scott said: this is the natural evolution of it.
If wrestling truely is a work. And I hope you agree with that if you’re reading this blog. They can write storylines they way they want. Making it as dramatic or real as they want. People and wrestlers do die in real life. Does that mean that they shouldn’t have released the Crow because the lead actor died in real life? That seeing him die in the movie may offend someone? People KNOW Vince’s death was a work. It was written. It wasn’t real. They aren’t even going all out and selling it like Eddie’s death. Also, he died by Car Bomb. How many real people die by car bomb. How many WRESTLERS die by car bomb. Also, if you want to know my guess. Jeff Jarrett did it, or Vince Russo!
One last thought: Scott says we need a detective. Which can only mkean….oh no…THE RETURN OF LESLIE NIELSEN!!!!!!!
Eh, it gets vince off tv, it got a lot of people in my office, both fans and non fans, talking, and it might lead to something. Then again chris masters was drafted and I honestly forgot he was still employed.
Now as for people being offended, well I lived through the new generation and things like diesel vs mabel main eventing multiple ppvs, and I think vince owes us all a lot for that. I’d mention 93 wcw but i’ve been told its not polite to speak ill of the dead. Everyone gets offended by everything these days, it would be nice to see people relax and not jump on the “owen/eddie/pillman” references every time there’s an angle involving death. I’m not condoning the angle cuz its more insulting to intelligence and offensive to most of the 5 senses but as stated above, it gets vince off tv, and, to quote ddp, thats not a bad thing, thats a good thing.
Who cares who killed him? Apprently it’s been planned for weeks, but c’mon, who the hell didn’t see it coming from a mile away once Vince started making the long walk?
And have they realized that once the murderer is found, that person has to go to jail? If it’s someone major, that person has to go away for years, not a few months.
HHH survived being dropped in a car, and Al Wilson already died, so how in the hell is this supposed to be good?
They’d better have the “search” for the killer be damn good and compelling, otherwise *YAWN*.
Come on this obviously has all the hallmarks of a mafia hit. Nunzio should be arrested for questioning IMMIDIATELY!
Where was Santino Marella around 11:05 Monday night?
“And have they realized that once the murderer is found, that person has to go to jail? If it’s someone major, that person has to go away for years, not a few months.”
Haha! What a silly question!
Really, this is why I hate angles like this, because, for me, it does a bit of permanent damage to whoever the culprit is. I mean, no matter how popular he may have become, Rikishi will always be the guy who committed “attempted vehicular homicide.” And how quickly did he return to being a face after that happened? Same goes for Big Bossman feeding Al Snow a dead dog, Stephanie slapping her mother, Eugene being a tard, etc.
I don’t see how it’s going to work.
You can’t take a character who has been one of the main focal points of wrestling for the past nine years and kill him off and REALLY kill him off. What major TV show just randomly kills off one of its main characters? The angle is going to have zero credibility because McMahon’s ego will not allow him to stay off of television.
I guess if the WWE was going to be taken off the air, it would work. In fact, that would have been a great ending. But as far as I know, the WWE isn’t even close to going off the air, and I’m pretty sure it will have a long, long life.
Someone said that wrestling is rooted in reality, and someone else said that death is part of reality. Sure, but for a death angle to work it can’t be so contrived.
What game shows will his corpse host? (Sorry I had to say it ;-))
wow, People are stupid, check this out (especially comments)http://www.timesleader.com/news/breakingnews/20070612_12wwe_breaking.html?showAll=Y#comments
the comments section is what is interesting. People are saying things like “he is really dead. people need to grow up & show respect” Grow up? by someone who believes it was real and after reading that article. Amazing
Then, of course, you’ve got the problem of people seeing the real Vince somewhere and ruining the angle. Yeah, I understand that hardly anyone actually believes that Vince McMahon is dead but underlining problem with treating wrestling like a regular TV show is that the wrestlers are too connected to their characters. If you meet Hugh Laurie, you know you’re meeting an actor not Dr. House. When you meet Ric Flair, the line is a lot grayer.
I don’t agree with people who say that having someone be revealed as the murderer will do terrible damage to the character. The Undertaker has killed multiple people, one of them on pay per view. Kane has killed people. Hell, even Snitsky and D-Lo Brown killed babies. With the exception of Snitsky, where it was referenced as a joke (like Scott calling his finisher “the coat hanger,”) “killer” is NOT what comes to mind when you think of these people. Now, Rikishi is a different story because it was such a stretch for his character to go from “fun loving dancing fat man” to “Polynesian nationalist and criminal mastermind.” That is certainly the least of their problems.
What happens when they have the Wrestlemania 24 press conference in Orlando? Now they can’t show it on TV because Vince is dead. What about when they want to make a DVD? Does Vince still get to appear?
They can let this manhunt run through the summer but then they need to resolve it. The only logical solution is that he faked his own death.
Part of me is thinking TNA ought to take the Voodoo Kin Mafia and jump on this. They did spend six months pursuing him. But they could ruin the whole angle in one fell swoop, and that might count for something.
Considering how few people watch TNA, there’s pretty much nothing they could do to ruin any WWE agnles. especially not with a couple of has-beens likes the VKM.
Just wondering.. why does Stephanie get the company when Vince steps down?
Stephanie will probably lead the comapny when Vince goes because she has taken a more active role in running the business than Shane has. The fact that she is banging the talent (HHH) doesn’t hurt either.
Who killed Vince McMahon? Was it Shane McMahon? Or John Cena? Or Chef? Or the 1989 Denver Broncos?
They probably haven’t decided on the identity of the ‘killer’ yet. They’ll let the storyline play out all summer and then deliver some ‘wacky’ culprit, ala Rikishi.
I’m still dying to find out who was behind GTV.