Scott’s Blog of Doom

Assuming neither Princess nor Matthew is going to post a review, this would be a good place to discuss the PPV tonight.  Still with us, Matthew?  Anyway, sounds like a pretty awesome show, which I might have to download tomorrow instead of waiting for four months for it to appear on 24/7 like I’ve gotten into the habit of doing.  And of course you knew that Vince couldn’t resist the opportunity to get his heat back by winning the ECW title.  I hope this means they’re getting the message with Lashley, but I’m not holding my breath. 

The SmarK 24/7 Rant for WWF Prime Time Wrestling - May 11 1987

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http://www.startribune.com/462/story/1146399.html

If ever there was a slam-dunk case for the WWE’s totally inept legal team, this has to be it.  They own the AWA name, Dale Gagne’s second-rate outfit has been using it illegally for years, it’s cut and dried.  Gagne doesn’t have a leg to stand on here.  So knowing WWE, look for them to lose the rights to their name in court by the end of it. 

“Long time reader and all.  Have a question thought you might be able to answer or post on the blog for conversation.  Why are there certain artists who aren’t available on music download services.  Here’s my example.  I recently gotten on a Classic Rock kick, and fired up ITunes hoping to download some music.  Two rather high profile artists had no listing on ITunes.  Led Zeppelin & AC/DC.  I had the same problem awhile back when I first got my IPod and started using ITunes & there was no Dave Matthews Band music available.  I didn’t really give it a second thought because up until now they’ve had pretty much everything I’ve wanted.  Well, I thought maybe they just hadn’t contracted with ITunes or something.  So I tried Napster(which sucks, BTW) and no dice again.  Now these aren’t flash in the pan artists, these are threes of the most iconic bands of all time..OK so DMB is iconic but pretty damn popular none the less.  So it begs the question why wouldn’t they be available?  Licensing issues as to who owns the rights to music come to mind, and that would certainly be understandable with Zeppelin since they’ve been split up for quite some time.  But AC/DC & DMB, are still active you think have these sort of issue worked out.  Not too mention how MUCH money is lost by not being available through downloads.  Thanks! “

It’s all money issues, although in some cases there’s other factors.  The mighty Zep are notoriously difficult to work with when it comes to music licensing, which is probably why Page & Plant have so much money — when they finally DO license something, it’s for big bucks.  As for the others, artists don’t generally have control over their own music (in fact, rarely) and it’s up to the record company to work a deal with services like ITunes, not the artists.  AC/DC, for instance, still sells nearly a million copies of Back in Black and tons of their back catalog on CD every year, so there’s little incentive for the record company to put them on Itunes, I’d think. 

OK, maybe not so much shocking as long overdue and sure to be overly hyped by TNA.  Although he technically hasn’t left yet and certainly hasn’t announced any plans to sign with the other guys, everyone’s basically treating it as a given at this point, so I will too.  So there. 

Really, though, I think Rob’s best bet would be on the indy circuit, where he established himself in the first place, rather than trying to cash in his fading star with a promotion that will have no idea what to do with him, aside from jobbing him to Jeff Jarrett.  Maybe he should just start his own promotion: the Total Hardcore Company.  They can run their big PPV on 4/20 and everything.  Honestly, if TNA can screw up Kurt Angle, they can screw up ANYONE.  They’re becoming like WCW, but without falling ass-backwards into success. 

This is not a rant, although I really need a name for these mini-24/7 reviews. 

Man, showing these rather pathetic Coliseum Video productions from the dying days of the company really shows how much the WWF was out of the game at that point, and not even concentrating on their generally excellent home video releases.  I reviewed a similarly shitty tape called “The Best of RAW” a couple of years back, which was basically just a few episodes of RAW from 1996, and this falls into a similar category.  It’s hosted by Sunny, who immediately distorts history by noting that she came into the WWF with the Bodydonnas in 1996, which is just ludicrious considering that she managed Skip as a solo act for a year before that. 

So this glorious history of Sunny gives us…

- The Bodydonnas d. The Godwinns at Wrestlemania 12 in the pre-game show.  At least it’s not clipped, but it’s not a good match or anything.  Really sad that the tag titles didn’t even warrant the main show at that point.  Short and inoffensive, about **.

- We get a clip of the Godwinns beating the Bodydonnas for the tag titles at an MSG house show in a title change that, to this day, makes no sense to me. 

- The Smoking Gunns d. The Godwinns in yet another pre-game show, this one for Beware of Dog, winning the tag titles in an abrupt finish when Sunny kisses Billy and PIG gets pinned by Bart as a result.  Really short match and the finish was like something off a Russo RAW.  *1/2, if that. 

- British Bulldog & Owen Hart d. The Smoking Gunns to win the tag titles in the best match of the tape, although I’ve seen it so many times that it holds little value for me at this point.  Still, it’s a great tag match at ***1/2 and kicked off a great reign by the future Hart Foundation. 

- Marc Mero d. Faarooq to win the I-C title tournament in a shitbag of a match that shows how bad of a worker that Ron Simmons was at that point, although he got moderately better when put in a tag team situation with Bradshaw later on. 

So yeah, that’s it.  Three Godwinn matches and one good tag title switch, very loosely held together by Sunny introducing the clips.  If they really wanted to, they could blow this out of the water today by doing an actual documentary on Tammy Sytch, and it’d probably be a hell of a lot more interesting.  If you haven’t seen Mind Games a million times like I have, then the Bulldog/Owen v. Gunns title switch is well worth spending the hour watching the rest of this junk for, but otherwise don’t bother with this one. 

“You’re STILL hung up over wrestlers dying when you go away?
Wow.
Since you’re counting indepedents and littler-known wrestlers, and any weekday business trip or weekend get-away as a vacation, the odds really aren’t that big anymore, are they?”

Boy, you just know how to suck all the fun out of a running gag, don’t you? 

Anyway, apparently no one died while I was away, so huzzah. 

Wrestling-related content:  To use up the two hours of flying time either way, I brought volume one of the Showcase Presents: Batman book, which collects about 30 issues of Detective Comics and Batman from the 60s in the same style as the Marvel Essentials collections do.  Fabulous stuff for old school DC comics geeks like myself, although a lot of the stories have a really brilliant idea for a mystery (like “Penguin wants to commit a really good crime to mess with Batman, but can’t figure out what it should be, so he just starts throwing random “clues” at Batman and lets him “deduce” the crime, which he then commits using Batman’s plan as a guideline”) but then don’t have enough time to properly build up and pay off within the 12 pages or so they’re allotted.  That’s why I sometimes prefer the more money-grubbing current methods of stretching stuff like that out over a few issues, to really give it time to boil over.  Most of the time, though, I prefer the short-and-sweet nature of the 60s stuff, where Batman is presented with a puzzle or a crime, and proceeds to solve it.  But I digress.  One of the stories, from the mid-60s, features a villain who runs a wrestling promotion as a front for training henchman, and they actually reveal that wrestling is…fixed!  What?  Why didn’t someone tell me sooner?  Apparently, one of them is designated as a “good guy” (in this case, the Golden Inca) and the other as the “bad guy” (The Human Bear) and the “good guy” gets the win over the “bad guy” when the promoter deems it so. 

Just thought you might want to know that.

OK, I know this is always a bad omen for wrestlers, but I’m flying out to Vancouver for a work meeting until Friday, so once again I have to ask all wrestlers NOT TO DIE because I don’t want any more blood on my hands while I’m gone. 

While I’m at it, I think people (mainly a couple of people) are over-reacting a bit to the Matthew Roberts thing.  I just added him to start RAW threads or news threads because I never bother watching the shows anymore and thus wouldn’t even think of doing it.  I’m not looking for content to supplement my own in the same way I am with Princess, and I’ve asked him in e-mail to take it easy with the commenting from now on, so what I ask in return is that everyone else quit with the flaming, because I don’t like all the negativity. 

Bring on the Ducks in round two! Bring on anyone!

This is my new desktop background, by the way…

Welcome to the most anticipated wrestling debut since Chris Jericho (or at least Brakkus) came to Monday Night Raw. It is Raw Is Roberts (at least until Jericho comes back in September to save wrestling). I know the Internet has had its egg timers counting down waiting for my first post since our beloved leader and guru Scott Keith thrust this awesome power and responsibility on me (thank you again Scott). Hopefully, I will not crash the blog while posting this because, like Jackie Gayda in a wrestling match, I have no clue what I am doing (she is more fun in a hot tub than I am though).

Now we move on to my thoughts on the show. Since I lack the attention to detail and typing skills of the profoundly more talented Princess and Keith, I do not do full show reviews. I just offer my usual obnoxious, smart ass remarks on the highlights and, more likely, low lights. Without further adieu or Foley like shameless self promotion I offer my first post to all my Ralphus’ and Finks (or at least Missy Hyatts’) out there.

1. That opening segment was hot and it was much more effective than any segment they have done in weeks. No Black Lesnar and no senile old man diatribe from Vince made it an entertaining, well paced winner right off the bat. Shane is under utilized as a heel and as a wrestler (his cheap heat on Chelsea and the fans was hilarious). It will mean nothing on Sunday, but at least they finally gave the heels a little old fashioned heat.

2. Why must I endure the Great Crappy on my television set? He gets as much heat as an iceberg (he gets so little reaction they edited out his entrance). Carlito is well on his way to jobbing out of the WWF (who needs real wrestlers when you have a 7 foot dud like Great Giant Crappy). Maybe Carlito and Austin Starr can work together in Puerto Rico.

3. Speaking of losers who do not need to be on television, why am I subjected to Mick Foley wasting time and contributing nothing just to pick up a pay check? Edge’s promo with Foley was weak and did nothing to establish him as a heel threat heading into Backlash. What was up with them promoting Edge versus Orton all night, including in the Edge promo, when they knew they were not going to deliver it? If Blandy is not going to be at Backlash they should not be false advertising him for that either.

4. It might have just been me, but it seems like the announcing was a bit off tonight during a few points in the show. Lawler was stumbling all over himself talking about the tag team title situation. Ross and Lawler went on and on about how Michaels had never tapped out before Wrestlemania 23, though Michaels tapped out at Backlash 2004 to Benoit. My bet is that it had more to do with backstage production problems they seemed to be having and with people talking in their ear more than Lawler and Ross themselves.

5. Shawn Michaels and John Cena was a great, long, old school, wrestling match. It is a dubious decision to give away a pay per view main event for free and to make it non title, but the match was really awesome. Michaels needed the win, though he has no shot at Backlash, to re establish himself as a contender, so the decision on the winner was right. If McMahon plans on doing matches like this on a regular basis (which he should), it might take some time to re educate fans (including me) to keep into the match the whole time it is going on (we are all used to short matches), but it will pay off in the long run by easing the strain in the writing staff to have to come up with so many segments each show.

All in all, a far superior effort compared to recent Raws (I give it a 7 out of 10). Nothing was Earth shattering on the show, but the actively bad stuff was kept short (Foley, Great Crappy, Diva match). It was not enough to convince me to waste $40 on the pay per view, but I am looking forward to Raw Is Roberts next week. Tomorrow, I will do my own iron man match and seek to tackle an hour of ECW for your reading pleasure (I never made it through a whole hour of new crap ECW yet, but Cena and Michaels have me inspired).