The SmarK 24/7 Rant for The Hart Foundation
- Yes, this channel is so awesome that they’re actually showing old Coliseum videos. RARE ones. This particular one is from 1987, released during the height of their original tag title reign in the Danny Davis era, so it’s all about them as heels, and thus is vital viewing for anyone who wasn’t watching at that point.
- Hosted by Craig DeGeorge.
Just for something different, and because I’m ordering it tonight, stay tuned to the blog for live match-by-match postings as the Royal Rumble proceeds.
The SmarK 24/7 Rant for Tuesday Night Titans - 9/20/85
- Yay, cable is hooked up again after the move, so it’s back to WWE 24/7 and more cheesy talk-show goodness with your hosts Vince McMahon and Lord Alfred Hayes.
- Tonight’s first guests are Johnny V and the newly crowned tag team champions, Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake. To celebrate the victory, we get clips of a squash. Vince is aghast at the way they won the belts (lit cigar to the face of Barry Windham, which is a finish surprisingly not stolen since then), but Valentine claims that it was just good hard work. Wisely, Beefcake keeps quiet because he couldn’t cut promos worth shit back then. So Vince shows the title change like he’s an investigative journalist and it’s some big surprise that it would be shown, and the champs find it hilarious. It just proves that smoking really IS dangerous. Johnny V elaborates on the Dream Team’s previous lies, noting that he doesn’t partake in either tobacco or alcohol and only stays at non-smoking hotels. We get an interview with Windham, who is wearing an eye-patch like he’s Scotty Riggs or something, and he of course vows to return. They ALL say that. Windham in fact did NOT return, and jumped back to the NWA, leaving Rotundo stuck with Danny Spivey as his new partner. Valentine gets a parting shot, accusing Windham of trying out a new pirate gimmick, and they storm off to end the segment.
- Down in Tampa, we get footage of B. Brian Blair and Paul Orndorff helping to train kids for amateur wrestling. Orndorff accuses one of the 10-year olds of having a loaded kneepad, but not much else of note here.
- Now we’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel, as the next guest is jobber Steve Gatorwolf. Vince talks about breaking the stereotypes of the Indian wrestler, and then we get a clip of Gatorwolf winning a squash doing nothing but chops and wardancing. The irony is not lost on me. His victim is the ultra-generic Mr. X, it should be noted, who looks more like a star than the pudgy and bland Gatorwolf did. Gatorwolf gives an interview about living up to the standards set by Jay Strongbow (himself just a WWF-ized ripoff of Wahoo MacDaniel) but ended up as a jobber just weeks after this.
- Next up, Magnificent Muraco and Mr. Fuji, as I hope for some Fuji Vice to save this show. Sadly no, as Muraco squashes Jimmy Jackson with a tombstone instead. Alfred is scared for the health of the jobber, and Muraco chalks it up to years of practice at hurting people. Vince questions the acting skills of Fuji and Muraco (as if he’s one to talk) and apparently next week they’ll get to demonstrate with a performance of Fuji General Hospital. That’s a pretty funny one, so I’m looking forward to it. And with that, we wrap it up.
The Pulse:
Bah, nothing to work with in this one. Next week has potential, however.
